I have found myself always flock to this site, not just for cake issues, but to kind of "step away" from life at times. I ALWAYS space out to my surroundings when I come here -which isn't alwasy good with 2 little boys running around!! It's nice to read all the forum posts and all the incredible advice you can get in a matter of minutes!

So... since I come here to "escape" I thought I'd share something I am dealing with, and if anyone is inclined to do so, I would appreciate any prayers for my situation.

I have 2 little boys -great boys, and a wonderful husband! A wonderful happy life! My youngest son went blind suddenly when he was 4 months old. As bad as that seemed at the moment, we are blessed that it wasn't anything life threatening and that he has a chance at a normal life! He had surgery almost immediately, within days of diagnosis, and we are getting to the end of the journey where he will have his final surgeries and should have fairly normal vision. He is currently at 20/800, 20/20 is perfect -and that is our goal! If I'm not mistaken, 20/400 is legally blind, so that kind of gives you an idea how bad his eyes are -and what a miraculous change it will be to get even close to having 20/20! So, since he is legally blind, he is considered disabled -wouldn't know by looking at him though! He is 4 years old now. And is doing great! Couldn't be better really! We will find out in a little over a week when his next surgery will be, and even though I have had 4 years to prepare for this -I'm still not ready and may not ever be! I'm a nervous wreck. I do know that he is in the best hands -we have to travel to Atlanta for his dr visits, but at least it's only 3 hours down the road -and not more than that!

I am feeling so down today, and have for a couple weeks. My son receives Medicaid, since he is concidered disabled. Medicaid along with our private health insurance would take care of the medical bills, and we would handle all the other financial issues like traveling and such. So, right when we get to where we need to schedule his first surgery -Medicaid drops him! Our health insurance(through DH work) will cover up to 70% of ONLY ONE EYE!!! Both eyes can't be done at the same time -so there is no way around that I will fight with Medicaid until I can't fight anymore!! Due to that, we have had to pull our boys out of their school. Our oldest son has always attended a private school. This year our youngest son would have started in the pre-k program. If pulling them out of this school isn't crushing enough -the school wants us to pay 50% of the year's tuition -for both boys -for withdrawing them! I am outraged! well, not just outraged, but hurt. We have put plenty of thought into what would be best for our family. We HAVE to start saving for our son's surgery -there is no other way. We can't count on things working out with Medicaid -there is no guarantee. The best thing we can do is prepare what we can -set as much back as possible. We can't see paying that 50% towards tuition for a school we cannot attend, it would be like taking that $$ away from our son. His eyes are the top priority. The school is completely not for proffit -but they do have a business to run. I am praying that they can find it in their hearts to view our circumstances and forgive this debt. I hate to start an uproar about it, my hubby and I would like the boys to return there next fall.

Thanks for listening. I don't have much family that I can discuss this with. I like to come here when I am feeling down -cake has a way of cheering me up -and on here I don't have to eat cake -I can just look at it! Thanks again for listening -it at least helped to type it out!

Whoa, that's a huge one there. I mean how far along were the boys into the school year?

Let me just say this about schools--my munchkins are 24 and 28 now so do the math on this--but my kids were in private schools, home school for two years and public school from third grade for one and eighth for the other on through college, one is on their second master's degree now.

So all that to say the curriculum in the public school advanced farther than the others. One kid placed out of two years of college Russian language with what she learned in high school.

There's a ton of great people in the public schools. Ironically and incredibly the public school was more religious with 'unmarked' bible verses and stuff on the bulletin boards. One year the private school had a Disney Christmas program and the public school had more carols and nativity stuff than the private school.

All that to say don't fear the public schools especially in the lower grades. If need be check them out and be open minded. With parents who care children can totally excel in public school AND it makes it better for all the kids when any of the parents care.

Praying for you and your little boy and your family. What a fabulous prognosis he has!!!

(((big hig))) It's gonna be ok.

The school years hasn't even started yet. It starts Aug. 1st. So, I was able to withdraw them before school started -in hopes that someone else (on waiting list) would have a chance of getting their spots. We moved to the location we are at b/c of the great schools. We didn't realize that private school was an option -but it was a gift from my in-laws. We love that school, it is a Christian school, and that was/is very important to us. I feel so much better about going to the public school where we are zoned for. In the time I have had to research it, it's probably the best public school around! I have not read one thing about it that is negative, and I have talked to many people who have children there. So, I am at peace with switching schools now. I grew up in a private school, my husband public -and I can't honestly say that one of us had the better deal. We were able to succeed b/c of the drive we had to do so. We didn't think it would be right for us to pull our boys out in the middle of the year -which would more than likely happen if I can't get this Medicaid straightened out. Plus, this gives another family the opportunity to go to that other school -and maybe the option will be there for us again next fall. We'll have to wait and see. It's hard to take things one day at a time, but I try to. I still have to prepare for the future. *one thing I didn't mention is the school has said they will hold my son's records and not transfer them until we make that 50% payment!! That's another hurdle I must climb over!

I am so sorry to hear about your son's disability and the problem with insurance. I will never understand how a great country like ours does not make sure all its citizens have the medical care they need, especially our little ones.

I would encourage you to contact your local public school right away. I know that not all public schools are the same but they all provide special services for children with disabilities from preschool on at the tax payers expense. They often have the best programs. They may place a child in a public school class or a private school that would better meet the child's needs. They will have the Child Study Team provide you with information and suggest programs for him. You get to approve which program is best for him. Here in NJ the parents and often the child get a chance to visit different schools and programs and pick the best one. Beside this they are a great resource for contacting other government agencies, local groups, parent groups and charitable organizations that might be able to help you and support you as you face the challenge of your son's surgery.

Good luck, your friends at CC will keep you in our thoughts.

I agree with the last post. Does the head of the school know your situation? If so I can't believe they would want you to pay, that is awful. My children attend a public school and if anybody has a problem everyone sticks together and does fundraisers and anything else they can do to help. As for your son our prayers are with you and I think he will be just fine. I have 20/400 vision and I didn't realize that was legally blind But I do hope everything works out with you and Medicaid. I am in Canada so we are very fortunate that we don't have to worry about these kind of things or really I don't know how we would do it. Good luck with everything.

The school does know of our situation. I contacted the director immediately when we found out about Medicaid. I just wanted to let the school know that we didn't know which way things would go, kind of give them heads up that we might have to pull the boys out. Even knowing our situation, they say that our commitment to the school is what pays the teacher's salaries. Now, this school receives no funding from the state or government, it's supported soley by the students and the church it's affiliated with. I just think they should have a plan in place for when things come up like this.

Good news though -kind of. They are only asking us to pay for the tuition for one of our sons instead of both. And, they are turning over his records. So, with that being a blessing, we are still stuck with trying to figure out how on earth we will do it. I just CANT take that away from my son!! We are still unsure how we will fund his surgeries and afford to live at the same time! We don't live an extravagant lifestyle by any means, so we can only cut out so much.

I have a big beef with living in the US and paying taxes AND paying for private health insurance -and we STILL have no way of paying for this! It's crazy! I can name a handfull of people that I personally know who CHEAT the government to get things like free health care, food stamps, and don't pay any taxes! It makes me sick to be in this situation and also be a law abiding citizen.

20/400 is considered legally blind by the surgeons/ and agencies we go through. With our son being 20/800 -he more than qualifies for being legally blind. I'm not even sure if I mentioned what is wrong with his eyes. He is Aphakic, which is just a fancy way of saying he suddenly develped cataracts in both eyes. They did surgery right away and took out his lenses. So, he has no lenses in his eyes. The surgeries will be to implant artificial lenses. Since he was a baby we have used contacts to improve his sight until he can have the surgery. He prefers glasses though, now that he's older and can choose between the two. I wont get into the details, but when he has his surgeries, he will be able to see again! And I want that more than anything for him!

Wow... I think my blood pressure started going up the more I read your post. We were lucky enough to start my son in a private Christian school for pre-k last year, and my younger son will start next year where we hope to keep them until 12th grade.

That being said.... I am shocked that a private, Christian school would do this to you. If yours is like mine... it's a small school and they have a constant waiting list. They will more than likely fill the spot that your son will leave, at no monetary loss to them, as the new child's family will be paying the same tuition. If it was something reasonable like a 50 dollar deposit or even a little more... I would understand... but HALF the tuition is rediculous.

Notwithstanding the fact, that you are going through a hardship... it's not as though you just decided 'on a whim' that you found a better school, or you changed your mind for some other reason, or you want the money for a facelift... GEEZ. Many schools have these policies for good reason, HOWever, they also need to bring a little compassion into it and treat individuals on a case by case basis. Your son and his vision are far more important than their stupid policy.

I'm pretty much right next to K8memphis on this one. DO NOT let this go. How a 'CHRISTIAN' school can be so uncaring and money-focused knowing that the reasons for you needing the money are all for your son just makes my blood boil. He is a former student, with a disability, with the chance of having an operation that will change his life forever, but most of all he's your little boy.... how in the hell can they not be more caring?!?!?!?

I need to stop here.... because I'm really, really angry about this. Please keep us updated.... I'd be happy to write a letter to that school (and the media, for that matter), about their current 'policy'.

Definitely do as the previous posters said... be diplomatic, and be nice, but speak to everyone you can in a decision making capacity at that school to ask them to waive that fee for you.

You got me fired up today with this one. I can't imagine anyone will feel any differently.

Denise

Just read your last post before my other one posted....

The funding at your son's school, is just like ours. However, I cannot imagine that the tuition (or partial tuition that they are asking you to pay) from one student will make such a difference that they will have to lay off a teacher.

They base their budget on projections of how much they are going to be getting from tuition, donations, etc. They have to account for unexpected situations (damage, loss, etc... ) and there has to be some sort of plan to cover these unexpected expenses. They don't budget everything to the penny with no 'emergency fund' so to speak.

Keep pushing...........

I have no doubt that you love the private school, but they are not acting in a christian manner. (I am a christian, as a matter of fact a pastor's wife) I have had my share of christian schools and I hate to say it, but almost all of them have had major internal problems due to not following biblical principles.

If the head of the school doesn't care enough to at least consider not making you pay the 50 %, then I wouldn't their influence on my children. Kids learn from their surroundings.

The past year was the first year I broke down and sent my kids to the public school. The worst for me was the oldest two are in middle school. I was scared to death!

Best decision I ever made! I really hate I didn't do it sooner. I was so scared they wouldn't be around any christians. It turns out they are. It has been a very positive experience for us.

I will be praying for your son's eyes. Did you mention already when the surgery is supposed to be?

Why did Medicaid drop him? I will be praying about this as well. I do know God is in control and he WILL take care of your family.

Oh yeah, about the records, I don't think the public school will think that's a big deal anyway. They don't really need them if he is still young. (elem. school)

I live in Anderson, South Carolina in the upstate. I'm not that far from North Georgia.

I hope everything works out for you.

I'm a slow typer! I see you just answered my questions.

I think the contacting the news station is a good idea, just try not to run the school's name in the mud. Believe me things like that tend to get out on their own. Share your situation and see what happens.

JMHO, Sherri

How awful for your family! I agree that there is nothing 'Christian' about this policy. I would probably ask wonder what values they are teaching my kids, considering currently they are participating in the "money hungry kick-them-while-they-are-down" mentaliity. I also agree with you that our government is broken, too many people wanting something for nothing, and when the upstanding individuals need a little help to get back on their feet they are denied. I pray for the best for you, and your famly

Your tuition is similar to ours. This year we will pay 3800 (for one son). We are single income (not a very big income either ), and I do what I can from home to make extra money here and there. 3800 is a big amount to us.... 1700 is a big amount to us. Heck... a tank of gas is a big deal at this point .

Enrollment was down at my son's school also this year (economy, I'm sure)... but they still had a waiting list.... it wasn't 30-40 names deep like they were used to... but there was a list... especially in the younger grades.

Our school does one fundraiser at the beginning of the year.... magazines, and then that's it. Everything else is funded through donations, tuition, and the church. If they want to force you to pay, maybe someone in the church could SUGGEST doing a fundraiser for you. I would love to ask the head of the school for a donation for your son and would make sure he/she knew the reason why.

The policies are there for a reason, obviously.... to stop those that decide at the last minute... hey, lets go to Disney this year instead of private school! (you know what I mean)... but that doesn't excuse them from being human and in this case, being Christian and showing some compassion for a good family who was faithfully part of their community, and for a little boy who is now in need.

Either way..... I would definitely keep arguing this one. You never know when they may give in to the pressure especially since word has gotten out in the church circle ...and you know that people are going to go..... 'Mr./Mrs. X at the school did what?!?!?'

Stay strong -
Denise

Yes, seems like they are a lot alike. And you're right, the policy is to protect them from people who do things like you said(Disney trip for example!). I do know, for a fact, that another family, one that we are good friends with, had the threat of losing their only income this summer. They contacted the school, who even said that in an instance like a job loss that 50% would be forgiven... so why not in this situation too? I just don't understand it. Christian school or not, this is making someone chose between something and their child -and any parent would put their child first!

Like I have said, we are trying to prepare for the costs of medical bills. We are selling off a HUGE collection of model trains that was handed down to my husband. We had originally decided to sell off the majority of the collection and that money would go into savings for our boys. Now, we are going to have to use that to go towards this instead. Unfortunately, this stuff isn't moving very well on Ebay,so being charged for listing fees and then items not selling isn't going to work for us. So, we are doing a few things at a time.

Paying $1700 is much better than having to pay the original $6400, plus with the supply fees, lunch fees and gas, we were looking at a MINIMUM of $10,000 to attend that school. With the new school being less than 2 miles down the road, and school lunches costing half what they did at the other school, we will save a great deal just not attending the other school. That just makes that much more we can put back.

*One thing I did want to say is Thank you, to all of you who are offering your great advice! We are very blessed to have what we do, and I am thankful for everything. We know that our son's condition could be much worse. I actually met someone in our city who's son was born(on my little one's b-day in fact) completely blind. The condition he has is different, and there is no cure. There is a cure they are testing in China, but it has not been approved here in the US, and it includes stem cells. The cost for this treatment is well over $70k, and the mother, who is very young, is determined that her son will get this treatment! Our community has participated in fund raisers -and I am sure that will make things happen for this child! Our situation is so small compared to that other little boy, but it's a big part of our lives and is our top priority.

I agree with not bashing the school.

If it was me I would apply pressure. I would apply as much pressure as I could. I would say things like, "I don't want to go to the media." "I don't want to get a lawyer."

Consider applying pressure.

It's about survival not to mention your sons eyesight. They should be having a fund raiser for you for crying out loud, not sticking it to you when you're vulnerable. I know all about how the schools run. So what.

So at this rate you need to have a fund raiser for the school. To me this could not be more wrong. And frankly your attitude is confusing to me.

I would default on it at a minimum. Let them take me to court on it.

First of all this is just my opinion.

I don't think you need to apply pressure, that to me, is sinking to their level. One thing I've seen over and over again is you can't make people do what is right. Everyone is held responsible for their own decisions and we have no control over that.

But, you do have control over our own actions. If it were me, I would contact the media with the story of your son and his situation. I would forget about the school. If they continue to require the money, then like I said before.....I BELIEVE GOD WILL MAKE A WAY!

I do completey understand where you are coming from. If you intend for your boys to go there again, it would just be alot of drama to deal with later.

MessyBaker

I understand about the contract that you signed ... we have essentially the same thing... ours also has a clause in there about litigation. If we were to sue the school for any reason and lose... we would be responsible for the school's costs related to the lawsuit (their attorney fees, filing fees, etc).

I still feel that they need to excercise discretion when it comes to issues such as this. They obviously have that ability, as you said that they excused the money for someone who lost their job. They lost their ability to pay, and the school forgave the debt. You lost your Medicaid.. you also lost your ability to pay.

Since you are good friends with that family (who lost the job)... how about asking to meet with the director and with the parents from that family. Not sure about their situation, but if they are done with the school... they wouldn't have anything to lose by going in there with you and saying, "hey...you were able to forgive the fee because of unforseen circumstances in our case... our friends here now have a child in dire need of an operation of which they will now have to pay much more than anticipated... why can't you help them too?"

Maybe some of the teachers could talk to the director? I'm sure the teachers know your son, and know the situation... maybe they could ask the director to reconsider.

Another option... (far-fetched... but trying to think outside the box here)... would be to explain to the director that you just don't have the money because if you don't pay the doctors/hospital, your son doesn't get the operation he needs. You can't pull the money out of thin air, so how about a trade. You continue to 'volunteer' hours to 'work off' the debt. Then maybe in the future if you decide to send them back to that school it would be a much better situation.

Just trying to think of alternatives.

Denise