I'm So Frustrated/mad/upset....

Decorating By MeMo07 Updated 29 Jun 2008 , 7:27am by chutzpah

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MeMo07 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:25am
post #1 of 18

Excuse the long post this is going to turn into, I just have to rant. I'm so hurt and mad at the same time.

I'm on the younger side- almost 22. I've been married for 3 years, have a one year old baby, all that jazz, so I don't have many friends my age. I live next to my mother and my aunt- so right now my best friends are my sister and my cousin. My cousins 18th birthday is the 4th, and she's been telling me she wanted a banana foster ice cream cake forever.

I'm new to this, so I LOVE any chance to bake. I was really looking forward to showing my family that I'm good at more than just yellow cakes with buttercream, lol.

She doesn't bring me the recipe until this morning. And tells me she wants the cake for tomorrow. So I'm a little worried, but brush it off and decide I'll make the best of it. I told her I'd need to go into town with her and my sister when they left, that I had been pretty down today, and just needed some time to hang out with them. Plus I needed to go pick up the stuff for her cake. (We have to drive about 45 miles to get to a good grocery store around here- and to get alcohol. And my husband and I share one car until his gets fixed and he took it to work.) I waited and waited and waited for them to call me. No one ever did. So finally around 2 I text her and ask where they are. They left without me. Said they were in a big hurry.

Fine, whatever, I was a little frustrated at this point, but decide that I'll ask her mother to pick up the ingredients while she's in town also. At this point I'm getting worried about the time constraints, as there are lots of steps to this cake. (That I've never attempted before!)

I give her the list, and wait for her to get home. Around SEVEN my sister calls home and tells my mother they have to go back into town because my aunt didn't get the list of ingredients I asked for. (FIVE hours ago now)

By this point I'm so mad....I'm donating MY time to make this hard cake, because I love my cousin. But I'm feeling VERY unappreciated. By EVERYONE in this whole situation.

My mom was furious for me. I didn't even get a chance to get on the phone before she told her to tell my cousin to forget it. That if no one cared enough to get the ingredients for the cake for me at a decent hour there would be no cake.

*sigh* I was really looking forward to it, but I just can't work like that. icon_sad.gif

17 replies
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MeMo07 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:34am
post #2 of 18

I guess I should also add that I'm feeling REALLY guilty about not doing it. I feel like I'm going to ruin the party. icon_sad.gif

Because tomorrow when I get there, everyone will ask me where the cake is- I make cakes for no reason- so they'll be wondering why I didn't do one for her birthday.

I'm betting ten bucks to my self that I'll get up at 6 and feel the guilt and try to bust it out before 12. icon_sad.gif

And fail. LOL

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mw902 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:36am
post #3 of 18

I am sorry for you that this happen! People who do not bake, or put time and effort into baking do not understand what it takes and that we put our whole heart into it! Try not to sweat it, they didn't get you the stuff so they are out a really good cake!

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bethola Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:37am
post #4 of 18

Yea for MOM!

I certainly would not want to speak badly about your family, because, well, like the old saying goes "You can pick your nose, but, not your family"! But, that is just plain RUDE!

My cousin called me weeks ago to ask me to make my aunt's retirement cake. I told her that MY grandchildren (that I see once a year) would be here and there would be no time. Guess what? She got the cake somewhere else!

I know you wanted to do this, but, if your cousin (who has wanted this cake forever) didn't care enough to make sure you got what you needed....I'm sorry, she just didn't deserve it. IMHO

Beth in KY

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bevyd Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:38am
post #5 of 18

I hope you feel better--but your mom was two-thousand percent right.

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sweet_T7 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:38am
post #6 of 18

MeMo07 ~

I am so sorry you had to go through all that. People just don't get what it takes to bake and decorate cakes. BUT it is probably for the best..it's stressful enough when you have done a technique before much less trying out something new...*For the next day*!!!! icon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gif Your Mom was absolutely right in doing what she did, and maybe next time they will be a little more thoughtful when asking you for a cake.

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karenm0712 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:39am
post #7 of 18

I know how you feel. People who do not bake (more than just a bunt cake w/poured can frosting) just don't understand the amount of time that goes into baking and decorating a cake.

Do not feel bad that you are not doing this cake! If they really cared and appreciated your talent they would have had the ingredients to you DAYS AGO!! icon_smile.gif

Keep your head up!


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indydebi Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:42am
post #8 of 18

Oh, darlin,' if my mom-arms could wrap around you I would. Then I'd get my mom-finger out and tell you 'dont' you DARE feel guilty about no cake!' YOU did not "ruin" this party! The inconsiderate, selfish oafs who had no regard for your time, effort and feelings are the ones who get to carry that label!!

When people ask why you didnt' bring the cake, you put that monkey on the backs of those who caused the problem ..... you simply say, "The ingredients and recipe weren't given to me in time, so I didn't have enough time to make it." Pure and simple .... yet it doesn't sound accusatory (does it? icon_confused.gif I mean a pure Debi-way of saying it would be along the lines of "oh because everyone screwed around with my time and they think all I have to do is wave a freakin' magic wand to get a cake to just appear so if they don't care about a cake for this party, then I see no reason for me to bust my butt just to pull theirs out of the fire!!" so the first way sounds "nice" in Debi's world! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif )

So you better be sleepin' in late and not baking at 6 a.m.!

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elainec Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:48am
post #9 of 18

I am also the one who always accomodates and feels guilty. So I do understand how you feel, but your mom was right! Don't feel guiilty, as long as we let others take advantage, we will constantly be taken advantage of. You are obviously a caring person so tell her that you would love to make her cake another time. Make her a small 6" cake for tomorrow, if you must do something. Just a cake with roses.

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YAYI95 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:48am
post #10 of 18

Yeah for mom!!!Gotta love them....Keep your head up dont let this get you down....besides its not your fault..they know your situation and should've put forth more of an effort to help you out...especially if they are getting a free cake....

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michellesArt Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 2:50am
post #11 of 18

i totally agree with indy-no waking up early to try a cake that they (well she your cousin) felt wasn't a priority even though she really wanted this cake especially for her party. it didn't work out this time but maybe let them know that given enough time (more than 24 hours) you would love to make her that special cake-just not this time. sorry that they made you feel bad with their inconsiderate ways cheer up, sleep in and enjoy the party icon_smile.gif-big hugs from a mom of 4

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Doug Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 3:25am
post #12 of 18
Originally Posted by MeMo07

I guess I should also add that I'm feeling REALLY guilty about not doing it. I feel like I'm going to ruin the party. icon_sad.gif

::in his best big brother tone::



it was NOT your fault.

you did NOTHING wrong.

the UNGRATEFUL dismissive idiots who left w/out you and then "forgot" the ingredients are ALL!!!!!!!! to blame.

now, go to that party, hold your head HIGH!

and if anyone asks -- just tell the truth about being left behind and them "forgetting" let them be the ones with the red, egg-covered faces.

and forget hugs -- here, eat this. it'll make you feel better! ::hands over a big bowl of chocolate ice cream on a chocolate brownie with chocolate syrup drizzled on::

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7yyrt Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 3:46am
post #13 of 18

Yay Mom!!!

You better not be making a cake for them right now... (Shaking my finger at you - grin) I have a daughter about your age and I'd be saying the same thing. They didn't bother bringing you the ingredients, they didn't want the dam cake!

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dawncr Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 4:05am
post #14 of 18

Listen to your mama, girl! If you make a cake for your cousin now, she and your sister will just continue to take advantage of you. That isn't good for you, and isn't good for them (by letting them avoid responsibility and maturity). Remember Dr. Phil's saying, "You teach people how to treat you."

One good thing about birthdays: They happen every year. So, your cousin can just keep dreaming about that bananas foster cake until next year. Don't feel guilty--you'll just do it for her next year.

And, on a side note, it sounds a little like they were doing some things in town they didn't want big sister to know about....

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sadiepix Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 4:46am
post #15 of 18

Echoing everyone else and cheering on your mom!
DON'T feel guilty over something that was not your fault and you could not help.

They better be happy it was not me that stunt got pulled on...I woulda been at the party with a bowl, a banana, some rum and a lighter.
Banana and rum in bowl, whoosh.
There's your bananas foster.....ha.

I know the guilt, but you have to let that go eventually. Not having the cake she wanted will maybe make cuz realize you can't be walked on, and a little more respect will be shown in the future.

Oh..and I like Debi's first way of explaining...icon_biggrin.gif

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KKC Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 5:05am
post #16 of 18

I agree with everyone...Also, if u live next to ur mom and aunt why couldn't they just come over and say 'hey u ready to go?' Or a simple phone call would've been considerate. Its not like they had to travel to another part of town to pick u up. Don't do that cake girl, a recipe is not hard to follow..give it back to her and tell her to do it herself!

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keconnell08 Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 7:08am
post #17 of 18

You have no reason to reel guilty. Like everyone else said Its Not Your Fault.
Many hugs!!!!!

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chutzpah Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 7:27am
post #18 of 18

Family sucks. Last time I would ever do a cake for those particular people. Stop guilting yourself. Lack of cake has never ruined a party, and if it does this time, big whoop.

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