My Bil Has Asked For A Cake I Don't Think My Sil Would Like.

Decorating By saracupcake Updated 17 May 2008 , 1:38pm by CarolAnn

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saracupcake Posted 16 May 2008 , 10:07pm
post #1 of 22

My sister in law's 10th wedding anniversary is in July. My brother in law phoned and asked if I would make a cake for their party but he wants it to be a surprise.

I have to admit I don't really know my brother in law at all, he is shy and often ducks out of family events. Really the only time I see him is at parties for his children and I usually don't get into any in depth conversations with him. I don't dislike him at all, I just don't know him although I do know that he is crazy about my sister in law and is really good to her.

He has asked for a cake with the fuselage of a plane on it, he wants the only thing on the cake to be a derilct plane with no cock pit and then an inscription that says "you still take my breath away".

The reason he wants this is my SIL's favourite song is Take My Breath Away by Berlin and it was their first dance at their wedding. The video for the song was made in a plane graveyard and is full of derelict planes. After having it explained to me I can see why he thinks this is a romantic thing to do but I don't think anyone else at the party would get it.

My SIL in very feminine, she loves florals and frills so I don't know how she would feel about the starkness of a cake with just a derelict plane on the top.

I am also worried about the conotations of what may look like a crashed plane - what would you think if you were at a party to celebrate a 10th wedding anniversary and the cake had a crashed plane on top?

I don't want to offend my brother in law, I also would hate to suppose I know better than he does, or ruin what might be a really romantic gesture.

What would you do?

21 replies
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saracupcake Posted 16 May 2008 , 10:11pm
post #2 of 22

I didn't put the * in, it is obviously there to stop bad language being posted but I was trying to say the front of the plane where the pilot sits.

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leily Posted 16 May 2008 , 10:39pm
post #3 of 22

Personally if it was me and my husband designed the cake and put that much thought into it I would love it. It sounds like he has thought about this a lot and to the two of them it would mean a lot.

As for everyone else at the party... does it matter if they get it? It is about celebrating the anniversary. Plus it is a great story and they can tell it so everyone knows.

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SaraO Posted 16 May 2008 , 11:13pm
post #4 of 22

I can see both sides of the argument. It is a nice gesture and it does make a good story, but at the same time, if it looks like a crashed plane, it would look kind of odd and some people might not bother asking to find out about the nice meaning behind it. The cake isn't really just for the couple because it's an anniversary party, right? They have invited others to celebrate with them. I think it might be a good idea to just call your brother in law and explain that you think it's a great idea, but you just have some concerns about how it might be interpreted by others who don't know the story. Maybe you could make some suggestions for how to keep the idea by make it more obviously romantic - like adding some nice hearts or something.

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indydebi Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:07am
post #5 of 22

I am not a romantic "oh isn't that so sweet!" type of person, but oh, it's that so sweet of him to think of this for her!! I think she will LUV it! It's a special message for the two of them. Who cares if nobody else gets it! you KNOW the story will be shared at the party and then everyone WILL get it.

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andromedaslove Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:21am
post #6 of 22

I am sorry, but who cares what everyone else thinks!! He has just made one of the sweetest gestures I have heard of. If I were your SIL and found out you talked my hubby into changing the idea for that cake I would be made at YOU! He is married to this woman, and as you said loves her to death, I am sure he knows what she would want. As for the guests, they can either ask about it or make their own assumption, again who cares?

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JawdroppingCakes Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:29am
post #7 of 22

I also think you should make it the way he has asked. My husband is also kinda shy and doesn't really show interest in throwing parties or what decorations should look like...much less the cake! It would mean so much to me knowing my husband designed the cake for our anniversary so I'm sure she will too! I say just stick with his design.

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susgene Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:29am
post #8 of 22

I would love if my hubby would request something so romantic. I'm sure the reasoning behind the cake will get around the party and everyone will feel that it was a very romantic thing to do!

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Doug Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:35am
post #9 of 22

1: the customer is always right.
2: when customer is wrong -- see #1.

even Duff said this.


and -- oh what a romantic thing to do.

you gonna kill romance?


further --

it's his gift to her NOT yours

HE'S married to her, NOT you.


do it HIS way.

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cakesandbakes Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:48am
post #10 of 22

Just an idea to tie everything together but maybe there is someway (anything can be found online nowdays) to get some still photos from that video you spoke of.... it could be the conversation starter for everyone at the party to know how he came up with the idea.

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kakeladi Posted 17 May 2008 , 2:00am
post #11 of 22

I would completely make this cake as he described! Maybe to make it a bit more femine you could make flowers &/or ruffles up the side of a 4" tall cake from the bottom yet leave the top more stark as he requested.

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Amia Posted 17 May 2008 , 3:39am
post #12 of 22

I think that idea is SOO sweet! His idea makes this cake even more special because it's something only they will "get!" What girl wouldn't swoon over this? And how wonderful is he to even think of something like this!? icon_rolleyes.gif Most guys wouldn't even think to get a cake, let alone make it so romantic and sentimental! I can't think of one reason she wouldn't love this cake. I think you should definitely do it just the way he described! icon_smile.gifthumbs_up.gif Oh and imagine how envious all the other wives will be when they hear the story behind this cake design! icon_twisted.gif

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biancas_mommy Posted 17 May 2008 , 3:52am
post #13 of 22

yes, make it his way! that is so sweet. i feel like since you say he's so shy if you even suggest that she might not like it that might make him second-guess the whole thing and change his mind and that would be TRAGIC because he put so much thought into it and it's so meaningful for the two of them. who cares what anybody else thinks? and like previous posters have said, the story will get around. a cake like that won't go unnoticed and people will ask questions. and then his romantic gesture will make all the girls swoon. icon_smile.gif

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imagine76 Posted 17 May 2008 , 3:54am
post #14 of 22

yep. gonna have to agree that you need to do his sweet and romantical idea. maybe if it's still bugging you you could ask him if he minds if you add some cupcakes to the cake table and then decorate those in the girly fashion you think she'd appreciate. -just throwing ideas out.

also, maybe we could call it a "rooster pit"?

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mommycakediva Posted 17 May 2008 , 4:03am
post #15 of 22

wow, for first thing! He really did put alot of thought into this cake! kudos to him. Ya I would keep it his way for sure, sometimes its the small things between two people that make it so special! Sometimes people think me and my hubbby are out of it, but its just an inside scoop!

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lepaz Posted 17 May 2008 , 4:11am
post #16 of 22

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!!!! If my husband did something like that for me, I don't even KNOW what I would do!! To avoid questions about it, maybe he can mention the reasoning during a "toast". Sorry, gotta go and smack my husband now!!!

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nikki72905 Posted 17 May 2008 , 4:20am
post #17 of 22

Maybe he is planning to have the video playing -- AND If he isn't suggest it! ... He should be able to find the music video online somewhere .... That would be the coolest and sweetest thing in the world... have it playing constantly during the party...

Just wanted to add ... If you didn't want to suggest the video ... but you are planning to get the wonderful couple a gift - they now make those digital photo frames - a lot of them come with memory cards, you can probably download the video off of the computer and put it on the memory card, Then you could give the gift of the photo frame as your gift, and they could have the video playing on the cake table ... so cute !!!

It just gave me a thought to get one of those frames and play my wedding song while it shows my wedding pictures. How wonderful! (My song is : God bless the broken road.... (don't want to go into why because this is not my post, if you would like to find out PM me, I'd be glad to )share.)

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CarolAnn Posted 17 May 2008 , 4:53am
post #18 of 22

I am sorry, but who cares what everyone else thinks!!

That and everything Doug said........

I think you should do it exactly the way HE wants it!! It's their anniversary and it's not for you to try and change his plan. It doesn't for one moment matter whether the guests "get it" or not, it's something special between the two of them, and I think it's wonderful. I'd be flabbergasted and thrilled, giddy and teary as all get out if my hubby of 39 years in June would think to do something so personal and fun for our anniversary!! what about everyone else, do what he wants and make an effort to get to know the guy after 10 years, heck, I like him already!!!!

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ConnieJ Posted 17 May 2008 , 5:05am
post #19 of 22

I have to agree with everyone else. The cake should be as he requested. One of my best friends asked me to make a cake for his wife and had a similar type of suggestion. I told him he was crazy and designed a different cake. His wife loved it, but I found out later that she would have really been touched by his idea for a cake because it was something meaningful for the both of them.

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jamhays Posted 17 May 2008 , 5:06am
post #20 of 22

mos of the guests probably WON'T "get it", but what a great conversation piece! Your cake will be the life of the party.

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saracupcake Posted 17 May 2008 , 6:07am
post #21 of 22

I am so glad I asked for help on this, sometimes all it takes is 18 other people with the one opinion to make you see what you should have seen in the first place!

I like the idea of the cupcakes, I'll definately make some covered in flowers and frills but I will add them to the desert table. I will make the cake exactly as my BIL has asked.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to help me out. I am now off to tell my husband that I can't recognise a romantic gesture anymore and it must be cause I see so few of them!

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CarolAnn Posted 17 May 2008 , 1:38pm
post #22 of 22

I can't recognize a romantic gesture anymore and it must be cause I see so few of them!

I hear that!!! Right now I'd have to dress up like a go cart to get noticed!! (He's fixed up our kids old go cart and built a second. The third one (more grown up size) is almost finished. He made a grass track on our property.)

Oh and I'd forget the cupcakes. The the cake he wants should be big enough for everyone. This is HIS gift to HER and you shouldn't do anything to detract from it. Same thing goes for the video idea. It's THEIR party!!

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