Ok, I have had time to cool down a bit so this may not be as bad as it was about ten mins. ago.

That being said, I feel like I can do nothing right at work! Everything I do, there is always something that I did wrong, or that they want done differently. I just can't take it anymore.

I am a home health aide I work in someone's home. I work 6 days a week - I used to work 7 but it got to be too much. So I come in every day, take care of my patient, clean their house, (my patient has a live in LPN) sometimes do their laundry, put the dishes away, walk the dog, clean the dog's water and food dishes ... amongst other things....

So tonight I came in, and my client said ... when you clean my tray, make sure you dry it... when I was told to clean it I was told not to dry it, but the last time he made a big stink about it so I did wipe it dry this time, but it wasn't good enough... I completely understand why and what happened, and will watch how I stick his meds. on his tray next time, however I can just do nothing right here. Every time I come in I feel like I am going to get told how bad of a job I did, this is an every day occurance, The drinks aren't mixed right, his milk shakes have ice crystals, I didn't make enough of one flavor of drink and I made to much of another, The fan didnt get cleaned right. The dogs water dish wasn't changed fast enough when I came in the door. etc. I wish i was making a bigger deal out of it than what it was, but I am not. He is a very percular, particular, strange man.... there is no telling him either. It is so very frustrating...

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm not really looking for any advice just needed to put it into words.

I understand how you feel, there are just some people that have to find fault somewhere. Now not knowing the full situation somethings just to think about when you are dealing with him

- hes an old goat used to having things just so and probably used to doign it himself, loss of control over even small details is difficult

- complaining is another means of interaction, even if he is doing it subconsiously you pay him greater attention when he complains, its probably a very lonely world he lives in, complaing also gives him another form of control, if he cant control things in his life at least he can control you

- perhaps he is on a medication that makes him very unreasonable, my grandpa had terrible reactions to morphine it basically made him go crazy.

- many older people are just very unhappy, often trapped in their own body and very little stimulation, like a couped up dog they can easily lash out

Maybe somethings to help
- if he is able get more interactive, he might be even harder to deal with for a while with instructions but if he can see you making a milkshake or get some fresh air with the dogs things might improve

things like drying the tray, well I might have asked you to do it too. Thats one of my dad bigeest peeves at a restaurant- dirty table waitress wipes it and leaves it wet.

Anyway, I may be misreading the situation but I think that there are always reasons for someones actions (and sometimes it really is mental illness) but if you can figure out those reasons then you can change things or be more understanding

hope this helps
erin

Oh hon, it's probably not you at all! (Sending CC hugs your way.)

Your patient would act out with anyone who was there. (Your competency isn't the issue - it's all about control.)

S/he is trying to micromanage your actions because s/he is helpless to control his medical condition or treatment...

This behaviour allows him/her to feel in control of SOMETHING, however small in his/her life.

So involving him/her in even little ways will have a positive effect. Ask how much of what flavor drinks s/he would like; how long should I blend your shakes, etc.

Not to digress too far from the subject. But when my DH was a volunteer at the local hospital, he would complain about an outpatient who he transported (via wheelchair) from the main entrance to the lab for tests, etc. on a regular basis.

Seems the man found fault with EVERYTHING from the wheelchair, to where he was situated in the lab waiting room.

Gave my DH the same advice I just gave you. Plan of action was to ask patient when he arrived, if the wheelchair was suitable or if he preferred a different one... When arriving at lab waiting room, to ask patient, where he would like to be situated...

My DH said the patient's attitude improved greatly and he no longer dreaded seeing him arrive for his routine visits.

HTH

My friend is a nurse, she finally had to quit working in the hopsital because she was dealing with the same thing! She told me that she realizes that people are sick and they are in pain, but for the love of god! could they just cut her a break.

I really admire you! I can't even take care of my DH when he is sick. I think he is to whiney.