Calling All Mothers Of The Bride

Decorating By heychele Updated 20 Jan 2007 , 12:37am by mkolmar

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heychele Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:19am
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I'm soooo excited my daughter got engaged over the Holidays!
We went today and looked at a reception hall and the woman was showing me the portfolio of the bakery that they use. The cake is usually included in one of the packages for the reception. I was appalled at what I saw! I am by no means a pro but I just can't see one of these cakes there!
My question is to all of you that have been Mother of the Bride, is it possible to throw a big wedding and still make her cake myself? Have any of you done it and how did it go?
I want to make it to the wedding day with at least a partial bit of my sanity left! Please let me know any advise that you have.

28 replies
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MomLittr Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:28am
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My daughter wanted for their wedding cake, chocolate seashells and had several designs she liked (the cake cost was included in the cost of the reception). Well I told her I would do the molding of the seashells and the baker can use to decorate. He would not use what I would make, but would charge $300 to make the chocolate seashells! icon_surprised.gif Well, you know what we wanted to tell him ........ icon_lol.gif ! What they decided to do was have the baker make a plain cake, and I made the chocolates (to the colors she wanted) and before the reception, went down and decorated the cake (thankfully the grooms mom was around and we did it together - very special). The theme for the reception was an ocean theme, and they used a large seashell for the topper. Check out my pics and you can see how it turned out - not too bad! Good luck with the wedding plans!

deb

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Richard Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:29am
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I don't think I would attempt it on my daughters wedding day. There is just far too much going on and too much stress to attempt this job. I am sure that you could possibly find a cake that would be acceptable and take some of the stress and pressure off of you.

Your daughters wedding day only comes around once and you want to try and have everything done in advance so that you can enjoy and oversee that day with as little stress as possible.

Kathy

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heychele Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:36am
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Thanks for the input!
Deb your Daughter's cake looked great!
I can tell this is going to be really strange being on the other side of the fence for this!

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zoomitoons Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:39am
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i'm not a mother of the bride, but my mom made my wedding cake along with 2 of my siblings. i was the easy one, i lived in the same town the wedding and reception and mom live, my brother got married in Indiana (about 4 hours from where mom lives) and my sister down in the St Louis area (1.5 hours from mom) she baked all the cakes at home then decorated in the hotel rooms for them.
mom didn't seem to think it was too bad, dad moaned more about it because he had to carry and load all the stuff into the car and then into the hotel rooms lol
CONGRATULATIONS to your daughter.

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mcalhoun Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:40am
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I would say you do not want to even attempt it. The days / weeks / months just before the wedding are crazy busy. There will be so much to do last minute and everyones nerves are on end I think it would just be too much. For instance the day before my daughters wedding all the girls in the wedding, both moms, and all the aunts went for manicures and pedicures then to a bridal luncheon. Then the day of the wedding you will probably be going to have your makeup and hair done. You will also have to be available before the wedding for pictures I don't think you could possibly squeeze setting up a cake to boot. Just my opinion though.

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cakeladydi Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:40am
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My daughter was married in May 2005 and I did her cake. We had a big wedding with a huge tent in our yard. I baked the cakes mid-week and froze them. I know some people don't like to do this but I think it makes them more moist and easier to decorate. She wanted me to use the Wilton Garden Cake Stand (which I already had) so it was really pretty easy. Her cake was all smoothed buttercream so all I had to do was trim it out and slip each layer on the stand. My florist added fresh yellow and white daisies and roses. It turned out really pretty.
My son was just married this past November and I did the wedding cake and the grooms cake. He was married on a Saturday and I also had a wedding cake and grooms cake to do for Friday night. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep but they all turned out great.
You are gonna be really tired anyway and you get to a certain point where you just function on adrenaline. Hope this helps.

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RisqueBusiness Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:50am
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Hi,

When my daughter got married the first time I lived in Pennsylvania and what I did was a beautiful cake dummy.

It was a aversion of Colette Petters quilted hearts with roses around each tier, the top was a sugar box filled iwth more flowers and a quilted top with a beautiful ribbon and bow that I trimmed with mini gold dragees.

What I did was baked sheet cakes to serve.

It was fun to drive down from PA to Florida with that cake in the trunk! lol

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Momof4luvscakes Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 1:55am
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I did my daughter's cake, and dessert table. Caterer did the meal. It was a little stressful, considering her little sisters were flower girls and I had to get them ready also. They were 5 and 6 at the time. If you plan things out well you can get through it. I plan to do all the other girl's cakes too. I tend to thrive off chaos. Did 3 wedding cakes in one day, but I promise you I will not do that again!! Congratulations to your daughter!

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Melvira Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:02am
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Ok, I think you should DO IT!! You can totally do it. I did my entire wedding, I did all the planning, all the decorating, I actually catered the entire thing and all! My mother did the cake because I wasn't into cake decorating yet, but I also have to add, I got married four days after the Twin Towers were attacked in 2001, and I still managed to pull it off despite all the drama! All you have to do is plan, and KEEP YOUR COOL!! Things will pop up, and you just have to deal with it. Sometimes things won't happen exactly the way you wanted, but NO ONE ELSE will know it was supposed to be different. You don't have to worry about it. You can do it, and it will be so much more special (and delicious) if you do it for her!

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Luby Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:20am
post #11 of 29

I married for the second time in 1998 and we had the wedding at our home with about 100 guests. I cooked all of the food and made my cake. I didn't scrimp on anything - I had a buffet that would rival any caterer and my cake was absolutely beautiful. I chose a cake from the Wilton book "A Treasury Of Wilton Wedding Cakes" on page 30 called "Endless Love".

If you plan ahead you can pull it off.

Good luck!

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subaru Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:30am
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I did my daughters cake. For one, she would never have let anyone else do her cake. (My precious daughters thinks their Mom can walk on water, I'm so lucky!) For another, It is something special that she will never forget.
I also had my youngest daughter get engaged over the holidays, and I will definitely be doing her cake.
Yes, it is a lot of work, but soooooooooooo worth it. Nothing is so great as the feeling of pride when someone asks who did the cake and your daughter looks at you and proudly tells them "MY MOM, OF COURSE!!"
It is a feeling that YOU will never forget. DO IT!!!

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Loucinda Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:40am
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I have had 2 daughters get married (this was before I did cakes) and there is no way I would do it unless you are having just a small wedding.

There is so little time and with being the M.O.B. you are going to want to do the makeup and hair and nails and photos etc. Why stress yourself out on one of the most important days of your (and especially your daughter's) life?

Yes, it would be nice to be able to say you were the one who made the cake ~ but on the other side of that fence, what if something screws up? Being able to spend the time with your daughter on this VERY special day IMO is much more important than doing the cake.

You are ultimately the one who makes the call. Good luck in your decision ~ no matter what you choose, we're all here for you!

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indydebi Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:42am
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When I married the 2nd time, I made my wedding cake, but had friends handle all of the reception duties. When my daugher married, she was in the army stationed in Wash DC and I planned the wedding in Indpls. I did the finger food reception, made the cake and was pretty much "running the show" (I had the bride, groom, best man and maid of honor spending the weekend at my house on top of everything else!).

Making the food and cake was not a problem, but at the church and reception, get someone else to be in charge. As a parent of the bride/groom, you have too many other duties and responsibilities and you just can't be two places at once.

I was so frazzled, running from point A to point B that I finally just removed my blouse and was running around the dressing room in my bra to try to cool down! (My kids are used to having a crazy mom!)

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Loucinda Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:47am
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indydebi - and you are a PRO!! You have a catering/wedding cake business so you KNOW what is involved! icon_eek.gificon_wink.gif

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jenny72364 Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:52am
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My daughter became engaged Nov 2005, since then I have begged her to let me do her cake. She had a local lady booked, but I have tasted her cakes and wasn't impressed. I did my first wedding cake for my cousin about 3 years ago and every one was impressed even the hotel staff (who see multiple cakes weekly). I think I finally have her convinced that ol mom can do the job . With my Mother In Laws help I know I can give her the best cake available. So I say go for it and good luck. My big day is June 16 and I am already planning the cake.

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melysa Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 2:58am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Making the food and cake was not a problem, but at the church and reception, get someone else to be in charge. As a parent of the bride/groom, you have too many other duties and responsibilities and you just can't be two places at once.





ditto. make it special, but make it do-able.

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sweetlybaked Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 3:04am
post #18 of 29

I am a mother, but my daughter is only 5 months, so this is a long time coming. But, I do want to say that I did do my best friends wedding cake for her. I was also the Maid of Honor. It was a 5 tier with fondant decorations. Despite the fact that it fell, yes fell, I got it done in time and the wedding was out of town. I baked in advance, planned, etc, etc. I say, if you really want to do it, go for it. Just plan well. It also really depends on how extravagant your daughter wants her cake. If it's just pretty simple, I think it'd be pretty easy!

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heychele Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 3:36am
post #19 of 29

Ahhhhhhhh and this is only the beginning!
I told my husband he might just want to pack his bags and not show up until it's time to walk her down the aisle! lol!
I love hearing all of your input, thank you guys!

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Jorre Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 5:41am
post #20 of 29

My mom made my sister's wedding cake and then a couple years later, she made mine.

Both were amazing, we had the disaster of disasters with mine, 18" hexagonal cake collapsed and fell the night before the wedding. We cleaned up the mess & decided to replace the bottom tier with small pillars. My sister and I created an arrangement of netting, flowers, lace and string of pearls that went under the small pillars and it looked amazing. Mom made a sheet cake since I was missing the largest tier of my cake, it didn't even get cut as a lot of people didn't show. Her church enjoyed it with coffee the next day though!

I say go for it! You wouldn't want to look back on the day and wish you had made the cake.

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cakesondemand Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 6:04am
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I made my son's 5 tier cake in June and it was a 4 hr drive. Just have to plan ahead and it will be fine. the only thing that happened was they had there florist put the flowers on and when I went to check it was terrible so I had to take flowers off the center pieces to finish it. They didn't want me to have to worry about the cake once I delivered it but I couldn't relax until I checked to see what the florist had done glad I did. here it is
LL

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ShirleyW Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 6:14am
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I did do my daughters wedding cake 4 years ago, but it was a second marriage and she handled all the details of the wedding. All I had to do was buy a dress and do the cake. I also did her daughters wedding cake 3 years ago. I am not sure if I could handle the stress if I also had all of the details for the wedding itself. I agree about baking and freezing ahead, it will save you time and so many last minute jitters. Besides I really do think cakes are more moist if they are frozen for just a short while. If you are going to be doing gumpaste flowers or seashells make them as far ahead as possible, they keep for years so no worries there. If you can handle working with another person it would make the baking go much faster, maybe even having them help you crumb coat the cakes. Good luck, I'm sure the cake will be lovely and your daughter and son inlaw will remember it for all their lives.

This is the cake I made for my Daughter and Son Inlaw
http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&meta=allby&uname=ShirleyW&cat=0&pos=29

And the one I made for my Granddaughter
http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=coppermine&file=displayimage&meta=allby&uname=ShirleyW&cat=0&pos=130

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cakesondemand Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 7:00am
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Wow! Shirley beautiful cakes

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Melvira Posted 3 Jan 2007 , 3:42pm
post #24 of 29

I wanted to add one last thought here... although I am all for you doing the cakes yourself, a lot of it is going to depend on whether you can find someone else locally to do the cake where you know it will taste and look as beautiful as yours! Of course, without having to take out a second mortgage! If you can find that, then the choice just became a little harder. If there isn't anyone that you feel is comparable to your quality, then it's not a hard choice at all!!

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lables12 Posted 19 Jan 2007 , 1:41am
post #25 of 29

Hi, here's my idea, buy the cake from a cake store and decorate it yourself. That would be the easiest, it will be ready to decorate, less work, and you could do flowers in gumpaste etc. in advance!! (I did my brothers, my uncles, my own....but my own was hard cause of all the other stuff I had to do.... so might be same for you...)

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Granpam Posted 19 Jan 2007 , 2:01am
post #26 of 29

I panicked when my daughter said Mom you are doing my cake right. We live in SC and she was getting married in Mississippi. I baked and iced it at home. Transported icing my kit and supplies and decorated in the hotel room. We also did all the food and flowers ourselves. Was It stressfull yes, but i would do it all over again for how proud my daughter was of her cake. It is in my gallery.

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bookbabe Posted 19 Jan 2007 , 5:26pm
post #27 of 29

same here.. I did my daughter's cake and her wedding was three hours away. Total stress but the pride on her face was worth it. I thought it was amatuerish but she loved it. We did have the reception catered and at a party hall so they were in charge of the food, etc. And my sister sort of in charge during the reception. I was totally exhausted afterwards. But again I think how proud my daughter was I forget how exhausted I was.

It can be done but just make sure you plan, plan and plan--make your design simple but elegant. And make lists!! lists of things to take with you, things to do to finish the cake, etc...

good luck whichever way you go!!

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funcakes Posted 20 Jan 2007 , 12:11am
post #28 of 29

I think I have a totally different take on this. I made my daughter's wedding cake-even though I never made one before. I had a great time making it, and the grooms cake and have great memories. Everyone loved the cake. And I have made 3 more wedding cakes since then.
I made my decision to do it not on the "do-able" type of cake, but because of my daughter's personality and the way she viewed her wedding. She is very calm never thought of it as "her one special day" but as a time to celebrate with friends. If the cake didn't come out as we planned-no big deal to her! If the bride has the personality that everything should be perfect, or if her wedding is something she looked forward to her whole life-I would let someone else make the cake, and enjoy the day in other ways.

I think good decisions come from looking at things from as many angles as posible-so I hope this helps.

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mkolmar Posted 20 Jan 2007 , 12:37am
post #29 of 29

I know it's not the same thing since I wasn't the MOB but my brother was married this past Sept. and it was a load of work for me and my mom since her family refused to help out hardly at all. (they are strange). My mom and I did everything for the bridal shower to move on to their wedding. My mom decorated the hall with my now SIL while I continued baking (did a ton of mini-desserts) I was also a bridesmaid in the wedding. It was a lot of stress! If you think you can handle the pressure of your nerves and responsibilities on top of a few others than I say go for it. You could always do a beautiful dummy cake and just serve sheet cakes if you think you'll be to pressed. If the cakes are hidious I would say do it just because the cake is such a big thing at weddings. I still remember what weddings had ugly or bad tasting cakes and that's before I ever cared about cake or decorating.

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