Ok, My Mil Really Takes The Cake! Lol

Lounge By berryblondeboys Updated 29 Dec 2006 , 6:54am by SwampWitch

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berryblondeboys Posted 27 Dec 2006 , 6:16am
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My husband's 40th (gasp!! How did that happen?) is coming up on about 10 days. Our birthdays sandwich Christmas, mine is two weeks before, his is two weeks after - makes for a jolly season, especially when you add in MIL is orthodox, so add in another Chrismtas and another new year celebration!

Anyway, my MIL called this evening and said she would like to come over to speak with Sven about his Bday, but she didn't want me to tell him it was about his bday, and when she got here, she didn't want me or Adrian to be there when she asked about it. OK... weird, but OK. Like my husband and I don't tell each other EVERYTHING especially when it involves her? She can be in denial, that's OK! LOL

So, she comes over, we've just finished dinner and she asks to see Sven privately - he feigns surprise and then goes down. About 15 minutes later they come in good spirits and join the rest of us for tea. 30 minutes later and she leaves, the kids are asleep and I'm DYING to know what she wanted to talk with Sven about for his bday. He had a HUGE smile on his face in a devilish way and he says, "Well, my mother is a genius!" Uh-oh... what did she suggest for a present? He made me guess. the most off the wall thing I could think of was some computer or stereo component as she has no clue how to buy these things and she knows he likes them and would get mad if she bought it without asking him first... but no... that's not it....

She wanted to buy him a car, a brand spanking new car!!!! What?!?!?!?! What 40 year old professional gets a car? I mean when he got his PhD a couple years back she bought him a nice bottle of wine and a Swiss Army Watch from LLbean. Plus, we don't NEED a car. We have a 6 year old car for reliability that only has 60,000 miles on it, and a 14 year old car with only 60,000 miles on it because it's NEVER USED!!! We live walking distance to the train which my husband takes to work (he works on the DC mall) it would be a waste and would depreciate...

PLUS... she doesn't buy butter cookies to make her favorite holiday dessert because they are too expensive ($2.50 a box!!!), yet she's going to plunk down $15,000 plus for a CAR?!?!?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!? I had a huge laugh out of that one!

He said no (he's a good son and doesn't take advantage of his mother like that) and said he will think of something. He does need a new leather coat (he likes them) and his is like 20-25 years old and could stand to be replaced and it's an extravagance he wouldn't buy for himself because he would want a good one that would be more $ than he would pay (but his Mom would spend in a heartbeat - she ALWAYS spends way, way, way too much on coats, boots, shoes - like WAY too much, but then she keeps them for 20 years, but who wants teh same coat or purse for 20 years?)

She is amazing.... Hmmm... my turtleneck from target I got 2 weeks ago is beginning to feel pretty silly now, but I was only turning 37 I guess! LOL Gee... I wonder what she'll get me, her only DIL for her 40th? LOL Hmmm... maybe support-hose? LOL

Had to share with someone as it was toooooooo funny! I told DH he should be thankful she's still struggling with English and still not familiar with how things work here in the US (after being here 10 years) because otherwise he might have been woken up on his bday to a car he didn't choose and couldn't return, unlike 90% of the other presents he has to continually return! LOL
Melissa

9 replies
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maryak Posted 27 Dec 2006 , 6:19am
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I think that's fantastic, you should have accepted, sold the other two cars and made some money!! icon_lol.gif

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berryblondeboys Posted 27 Dec 2006 , 11:44am
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Well, I should add that my husband does her finances. She has a VERY small pension from Croatia (like it would pay 1/2 a years rent for her and nothing more) and then lives on Social Security check otherwise. She had sold a couple properties in the US and Croatia which is her "nest egg". That money is what she has to live on for the rest of her life. Her social security check is NOT enough to keep her self-sustained, so every month she has to dip into her investments. If she is careful, she has enough for living and a trip here and there to make it for about 10 years. She's 72, so if she lives responsibily, she should have enough money to sustain herself for those ten years. If she spends unwisely, she will run out of money, and we would have to help support her.

It is also most likely she will be moving in with us in a few years when she can't take care of herself any more. We live in a VERY expensive part of the world and would not be able to afford, with both DH and I working to have a house that could accomodate her and our family without her help financially, so she needs to save for that time too when we need to buy a bigger house and make a suite or little apt. for her within that house. So basically, that money just needs to be not spent on something that isn't needed because there will be things that are needed down the road.

My guess is that she wanted to replace the 14 year old, faded paint, back panel dented car my husband drives to the train parking lot (the 2/3s of a mile and then sits outside all day as we have no garage and the lot is not garaged). She probably wants her son, who has a Phd and important job to drive a nice looking car to 'show' that he did well for himself instead of driving a very dependable (like I said, only 60,000 miles on that old car) beater. But Sven wouldn't drive a new car to sit in parking lot to be keyed or bumped. We would just buy another used car to replace it.

If we were to replace the family car, it would really be "my" car that I use for the daily runs and we would use for trips, etc... and I KNOW that would irk MIL to no end as she bought that car for DH. Heck, if she got mad/upset that I used the toiletry bag she bought for Sven on a trip I took, she wouldn't want to see me driving "his" car... can you tell she only lived a married life for a minute in her life? Was married 3 times, but only lived with each of them for less than a year... she's pretty clueless about how sharing and partnership works.

So... that's why it is just all so ridiculous. There are so many other ways we could use that money, but that wouldn't be a personal gift just for him, so letting her keep the money is the best for her and for us (and our sanity) too!

Melissa

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m0use Posted 27 Dec 2006 , 2:59pm
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Holy cow! A car?
That is very wise of your husband to say no and ask for something else.

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mkolmar Posted 27 Dec 2006 , 3:30pm
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yep, he did the right thing turning her down on the car. He would have had a hard time living with himself knowing her finances.

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Dordee Posted 28 Dec 2006 , 5:14am
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I understand where you are coming from about her saving her money for things later on but that certainly was a grand gesture. Now my MIL wouldn't dare buy my hubby a new car even if she had money to burn and hubby was walking to work. If she bought a new car it would most definately be for herself, which don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. Not that hubby or myself need a new car but I think it's just funny how our MIL's could be so totally different. Mine is definately a piece of work sometimes.

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berryblondeboys Posted 28 Dec 2006 , 11:54am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dordee

I understand where you are coming from about her saving her money for things later on but that certainly was a grand gesture. Now my MIL wouldn't dare buy my hubby a new car even if she had money to burn and hubby was walking to work. If she bought a new car it would most definately be for herself, which don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. Not that hubby or myself need a new car but I think it's just funny how our MIL's could be so totally different. Mine is definately a piece of work sometimes.




My MIL would give the shirt off her back for DH - too much so, but for her DIL? well, that's where the problem lies. Her son is god and no one is good enough for him and I was DEFINITELY not what she wanted because she's such avzin, shallow person. She wanted for her son someone pretty and slim and who kept a nice house. I'm not thin (Never have been, even when we were dating) and I don't keep a nice house (DH is a slob and I refuse to pick up after him and can't keep up with the rest to her standards. She's the type who won't go to bed no matter what time it is until everything is clean. I go to bed and deal with it in the morning when I'm fresh! LOL)

That I'm smart, have a good education, am a good mother, make my DH happy and, despite being overweight, am an attractive woman, is not enough for my MIL and she'll never let me forget it, though she really doesn't think I'm aware of her "feelings". I let it all out about a week ago (in another post) after she burned her last straw with me! And I feel SOOOOOO Much better now that the air is cleared!

Melissa

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mkolmar Posted 29 Dec 2006 , 4:27am
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my DH's aunt is the same way. She looked so angry on our wedding video. She was speaking Polish the whole time so only certain people could understand her even though she speaks perfect english. Little did she know my brothers girlfriend (my now SIL) speaks the language also. Yeah! Aunt Anna wasn't talking so sweetly about me or my hillbilly family. icon_twisted.gif icon_lol.gif

As long as you and your DH are happy that's the best revenge for someone like this!

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Dordee Posted 29 Dec 2006 , 4:50am
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berryblondboys,
I know where you are coming from when you say that even though you are smart, a good wife and a good mother that she still acts like she does. Mine doesn't care about those qualities either. Now if I spent all our money on clothes or a really fancy car I couldn't afford then I would be great in her book because then I would be just like her. Lord forgive me for saying it but it is true. As long as she is getting her way and Mommy dearest is happy then everything is peachy but when mommy dearest isn't getting what she wants then to HE double hockeysticks with everybody else. She even treats her daughter like that. I feel so sorry for my DH and his sister sometimes. I wish that they had a mom like mine. As long as i'm happy and healthy then she is over the moon. You can ask my DH and he will say he has the best MIL and FIL in the world. They NEVER stick their nose in our business. They really are every husband's dream in-laws if I should say so myself. berryblondboys, just keep on doing just exactly what you are already doing, being a good wife and mom. I know it is impossible but try to ignore her or tune her out like I do mine. Good luck!

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SwampWitch Posted 29 Dec 2006 , 6:54am
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It sounds like she is trying to buy her son's favor, even though she doesn't have the money. I hope she never has to move in with you... yuck.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

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