Goofy Kids Come From Goofy Parents

Decorating By mommachris Updated 7 Oct 2007 , 9:54pm by grannys3angels

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mommachris Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:14pm
post #1 of 99

okay, gonna share a big joke in our family.

Mom to kids" Guess what?!"
kids excited now "What?!"
Mom " Chicken butt!!" followed by hysterical laughter.

Mom to kids " Do you know why?"
kids less excited. "Why?"
mom still cracking up. " Chicken thigh!" more laughter.

Some time around the fourth grade they stop asking what and roll their eyes at me.

But I hear them pulling it on their younger siblings now. Heehee!

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif


So what is your family joke?

98 replies
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zoraya Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:25pm
post #2 of 99

we do the chicken butt joke too! hadn't heard the chicken thigh one, I'll use that next LOL
my boys are 4 & 6 so pretty much anything makes them laugh. they love to make up knock knock jokes that have punchlines which make absolutely no sense to us but they laugh hysterically which makes us laugh.
the other thing we do, which is kinda gross is when someone passes gas, someone will say "who tooted?" and everyone yells "not me!" the last person to say it gets blamed for the toot. cracks them up!!

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cinderspritzer Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:29pm
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lol. my family's version what ''guess where''.... ''under the chair!''



lol. where is the rest of the chicken that's missing its butt, i wonder?



ponderous

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Regan Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:31pm
post #4 of 99

Oh gosh this is making me laugh cuz both scenes sound like they are from my house as well!
We do the chicken butt as well (must be an old favorite..ha) But I haven't heard of the thigh either, thats cute. I have a 3 yr & 5 yr old (boys) and the knock knock jokes are exactly the same from them, they make no sense at all (glad its just no my kids, I was worried. ha) Only thing when ask who tooted, they admit - I think they are proud. ha
Or I will just say..Chicken butt butt says what?? (I know makes no sense but hearing the little ones say it is that much funnier)

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mommachris Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:34pm
post #5 of 99

okay, since you went there.

My dd almost made me pee my pants.
I "tooted" the other day.
Dd walked by and said "You need to get that thing smogged. I think you're burning oil."

I died.
Laughing right now, still!!

Kids know tooting is normal. I heard Dr. Oz say that everyone does it at least 14 times a day. Why get embarrassed, it's normal.

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yummy Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:36pm
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This isn't really a joke but, when my brother was 17 (yes people 17) he had the nerve to ask me and my mother " Black and white people have dogs and cats and they bark and meow right, so do spanish people dogs and cats bark and meow in spanish? We fell out, and told him reserve all those idiotic questions for the family; we don't want people to know how much of an idiot wrapped in moron he is. He's 37 and we still bring it up at family gatherings.

My aunt fries chicken everyday!! So the joke is, why did the chicken hurry his ass across the road? Because Aunt Pat was chasing him with some oil, seasoning and a frying pan. LOL!

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krazykat_14 Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:38pm
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Ok, this is bad... but way back when my son was about 7 or 8 (he's a 6'2"-200 lb line-backer now) he had a collection of Beanie Babies and his best friend was Bruno. Well, one day, we were all playing together and Bruno (with my help) said, "Pick your nose..." at which point he shoved his hand up the kid's nose... and that was really funny... but then Bruno did it again, but this time added "...make you eat it!!!" The kid just rolled on the floor with laughter, none of us could contain ourselves. It's been a running joke in our family ever since.

Even the cat gets into it! We have a non-cat-like cat who will use your finger to scratch his nose if you're not paying enough attention to him!

I know, I'm a sick and twisted mommy. See!?!? They really should make people get licenses to have kids!

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Katskakes Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:39pm
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My kids do that chicken butt joke too.
The thing we do is try to scare someone while coming out of the bathroom or walking into another room. My daughter who is will be 3 in one week is into it too. My oldest son (13) is the one who started all this cause my other son (icon_cool.gif is scared of everything. I have gotten my older son a lot of times, he just jumps. icon_twisted.gif
Alani tries to scare me while i'm right in front of her face, she'll just scream for the heck of it to scare me. The funny thing is that i'll wait about a second or so and just scream like i'm scared and she ends up jumping cause i just scared her. The other night i had a moth in my dining/living room - very close to my kitchen & front door (very small apartment). Anyway, i was trying to get it out cause i hate bugs inside the house at night. I asked my son to shut the lights and let i go out to the light by the front door. All you see is darkness and my oldest son in front of me helping and the other two behind me. My daughter goes: BOO! jaajajaa. We all just about died laughing. she's too funny.

In case you missed it, she's the one who thinks that Baby powder is Powder Sugar. icon_rolleyes.gif

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mommachris Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 6:51pm
post #9 of 99

These are actual quotes.
Things I have over heard my children saying to each other.

From the back of the van. "Well, it's not my booger."

In the living room "Quit rubbing your butt on the couch!"
( dd yelling at ds who just came out of a bath.)

Ds yelling at ds "Quit licking the hamburger!"
ds was was licking the defrosting meat bag.

kids are so entertaining. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif


mommachris

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chovest Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 7:00pm
post #10 of 99

Every time my one of my daughters ask me "Guess what?" Chicken butt is the first thing that comes to mind so I laughed ready this. My daughters (2,4,6, and 11)don't actually know this joke though because "butt" is one of the words we don't allow them to say. (I know, I know, but the thought of our 2yr old repeating it we don't like.) Our family thing to do is replace any random word with "chicken." Our 2, 4, and 6 year laugh so hard as my husband or I read their bedtime story about the Princess and the chicken, or answer their question of "what kind of ice cream are we having?" with chicken. I don't know that it is really that funny, my 11 year old usually rolls her eyes, but the little ones love it.

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Katskakes Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 7:04pm
post #11 of 99

LOL... Love the funny stories. I forgot to add, Last friday i decided to bring DD with me to work. I've been here 7 yrs, she's 3 and no one here has seen her yet. my office space is small too we have 50 people in 1/2 a floor, cubes right next to each other and we can hear it all. I get an extra chair for my DD and she's there moving around. we are so cramped in the little space. I try moving and my chair rubbed against the desk (i swear!) making that pppptttt sound. She turns around and goes ewwww mom. lmfao.

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zoraya Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 7:16pm
post #12 of 99

omg, I'm laughing so hard I have to go redo my makeup!!! icon_cry.gif
these stories are all so hillarious and all too familiar.
I love to "terrorize" my kids so I hide from them all the time and wait for them to come around the corner. They scream so loud and run so fast! My mom says I'm mean but I just say I'm "toughening them up."
just this afternoon, my youngest jumped when I gasped and 2 seconds later he asked me why hes such a scardey cat. Guess I've really got him nervous icon_lol.gif

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tiptop57 Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 7:17pm
post #13 of 99

Oh you CCers sometimes I am out of my league......

I don't have kids at home and I read this entire thread trying to find its humor........unfortunately I am hopelessly lost.

Side note: Mommachris - why would you let your kids lick a bag - pass the empty frosting bowl and beaters for goodness sakes.

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mommachris Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 7:21pm
post #14 of 99

opps, icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
just noticed that this is in the general section. I meant to post in the lounge.

Please forgive me.
mommachris

By the way, my kids wait in closets to jump out at each other. They won't do me though cause I scratch in defense...reflex action I guess.

Thought of one more.
Dd was ten at the time.
After a wonderful meal, she sighed deeply and quipped. "That was so good, I've got to pull my pants down." Bwahahah

mommachris

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lanibird Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 7:21pm
post #15 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommachris

These are actual quotes.
Things I have over heard my children saying to each other.

From the back of the van. "Well, it's not my booger."




Diet coke out of the nose... tears streaming... can't breathe for laughing!

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

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mommapaul3 Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 9:05pm
post #16 of 99

One day when I was young my family were all sitting around talking about inherited traits and the "genes" we had. My brother walked in and pronounced that his jeans (think genes) were all worn out! We still tease him about that.

My favorite, though, is when my dd was about 3 she had a pink shirt with lace around the bottom that she called her ballerina shirt. One day she came out of her room in that shirt and her underwear and said, in all seriousness, "Mom, sometimes EVERYONE just has to take off their pants and do a ballet!" I still laugh so hard I cry when I think about it.

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tiptop57 Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 9:16pm
post #17 of 99

Oh no, warning, warning, don't drink coke while reading this thread.......

mommapaul3 wrote:

Quote:
Quote:

when my dd was about 3 she had a pink shirt with lace around the bottom that she called her ballerina shirt. One day she came out of her room in that shirt and her underwear and said, in all seriousness, "Mom, sometimes EVERYONE just has to take off their pants and do a ballet!"




Rich, truely rich......all I could see was old men on the American Favorite Video Show dancing while their pants fell down. Your DD is wise before her time.

(So it took me a while to get the kid humor....I'm slow, but trying to catch up.)
icon_wink.gif

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cinderspritzer Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 9:16pm
post #18 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katskakes

My kids do that chicken butt joke too.
The thing we do is try to scare someone while coming out of the bathroom or walking into another room. My daughter who is will be 3 in one week is into it too. My oldest son (13) is the one who started all this cause my other son (icon_cool.gif is scared of everything. I have gotten my older son a lot of times, he just jumps. icon_twisted.gif





ha! the scaring thing! love it. my brother is a wuss, and when he was younger, he'd reach around the door jamb to turn on the light before he'd go into the room. so one night i went in there and crouched by his door and when he reached his hand in to turn on the light, i grabbed it and yanked him in the room, yelling ''GRAAHHH!!!'' as loud as i could. he screamed and peed his pants. ha. my parents were pissed.... but i wasn't sure if they were mad at me for scaring him or him for being a wussie. lol. it was hysterical. i about died laughing and still do every time i think about it. icon_lol.gif


my kids now are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 and they both love to be scared. lol. i jump out and scream and they both scream as loud as they can and fall on the floor laughing. dh got really mad one time when i did it and when they died laughing he decided it was ok. lol. i guess they're little adrenaline junkies.

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indydebi Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 9:28pm
post #19 of 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by lanibird

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommachris

These are actual quotes.
Things I have over heard my children saying to each other.

From the back of the van. "Well, it's not my booger."




Diet coke out of the nose... tears streaming... can't breathe for laughing!

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif



I'm with ya on that! That is hysterical!!!!!!

My sister is the proud mom of two boys and was sharing with co-workers about the burping contests that go in their house. One somewhat prudish lady said, "Oh, my goodness!" in that tone of voice that indicated her level of disgust at the whole thing! Sis looks at her, starts pounding her finger into her own chest and said, "Hey! I'M the champ!!"

In our house, I rate burps on a scale of 1-10. A neighborhood kid was in and let out a good one and I just automatically said, "7!" Ah, the pride I had in my child when she said, "It has to be a really long, deep and loud one to get a 10 out of mom!"

We're in a restaurant and hubby (HUBBY!) is playing with the butter packets on the table. He manages to squirt one onto his shirt and somehow gets one stuck on the ceiling! To this day we tell him that HE is the reason they always sit us in the back of the restaurant!

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crislen Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 9:45pm
post #20 of 99

/roflol. Ok... I'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud in my cubicle land! These are great! Keep them coming!

Debi, the story about your husband playing with the butter packets - oh man... I do that too icon_redface.gif ! No wonder my boyfriend doesn't want to take me out in public.

No cute kids stories from my end, but thanks for sharing them all everyone - they make you smile and definitely cheer up a boring day at the office!

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lanibird Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 9:49pm
post #21 of 99

My dad used to love to yell "SPERM!" when we would go out to eat, just to embarass my little sister. So one day she got him back. She loved to impersonate Jim Carey as Ace Ventura and Jaime Foxx's Wanda character. So one day, at our favorite restaurant she starts in on the "I'll rock your world" by Wanda, and the Ace Ventura stuff, "Three darts is too much" and the yelling because of the spears in his legs, as loud and as animated as she could. She had me and my mom laughing so hard, and my dad kept shushing her, but she wouldn't, so he actually got up and left the table! icon_lol.gif To this day, if he starts on his "sperm" thing, my sister starts up the Ace Ventura. We too get sat in the back of the restaurant a lot! icon_lol.gif

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cinderspritzer Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 10:20pm
post #22 of 99

when i think back on it, i'm amazed my parents ever let my siblings and i out of the house.


one restaurant incident in particular sticks out in my mind. we were in this hotel that had boxelder bugs show up over night, and they were everywhere. my parents took us kids out to breakfast and through the whole thing, we were talking about beetles and laughing (mind you, they stuck us in the back as soon as we walked through the door) andeventually my sister started talking about ''beetle breakfast'' from Beetlegeuse... I laughed so hard that I had orange juice coming out of my nose... lol. and i choked on my pancakes. I'm sure my parents were mortified.

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mommachris Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 11:03pm
post #23 of 99

here's another.

ds was only four when I came home with his new baby brother.
We'd had a girl in between the two boys so ds kept calling the baby a girl.
In an attempt to correct him I called ds over when I was changing the baby's diaper.
"Look its a boy." I said while pointing to his boy plumbing.
Ds took one look and said. "Uh,oh. Trouble!" icon_lol.gif
He sure call it right. That little guy has been a stinker from the get-go.

mommachris

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jamhays Posted 27 Sep 2007 , 11:38pm
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I'm the oldest of 4. My youngest bro is 10 yrs. younger than I am. My father is a pastor. One Sunday a missionary was visiting our church. After services we went out to eat w/them. My little brother was a live wire & very unpredictable. My mom was always on egg shells with him when we were around people, especially ones from church.

At the table, brother was behaving quite well. When he was done with his meal, he began stirring a concoction of all of his leftovers in a small ice cream cup, with one of those little plastic picks they put in your steak to tell you if it is "well done" or "rare". Mom let him continue because he was being very quiet about it. All of a sudden he yelled, "I'm DONE!" and flung that pick (covered with ice cream, ketchup, gravy, etc.) over his shoulder. That pick landed on the back of the shirt of the man behind my brother. The missionary's wife witnessed the whole thing & had to excuse herself from the table. She probably went into the bathroom & laughed her head off! My mom almost passed out.

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barbaranoel Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 12:59am
post #25 of 99

Okay, I have to join in:

The other day, my ds comes home from preschool and dh proceeds to tell me he got a time out icon_redface.gif He was caught showing his butt to another kid (both are 3)

When asked why - "Joshua showed me his butt first!" icon_confused.gif

Really - how can you argue with that logic?


I remember,@ 20yrs ago, my mom had brought us down to Columbus (we lived in a little town) and so we set out to embarrass her. We went to Wendy's and while we were there we were talking like "Gee maw, we's in the big city now" and on the way out, as we were walking by the large plate glass window in front of the packed restaurant, we all picked wedgies. It was a long time before my mom took us all out again!

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alisoncooks Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 1:28am
post #26 of 99

This topic is too too funny! I remember doing the scaring thing w/ my little brother when we were young...whenever we came home from a trip we'd race into the house...so if you got in 2nd, you knew someone was in there waiting to scare you...you just didn't know where (oh the suspense!)

My daughter is only 15 mos and she already likes a little startling icon_smile.gif When she's in the tub, I lay my hand flat and still down under the water on the tub's bottom (and she is fascinated by it). Then when she tentatively reaches for it, I make a grab at her. She jumps a MILE, but she thinks it is soooo funny. Oh, what we do to our kids icon_smile.gif

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mommachris Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 1:31am
post #27 of 99

oh, man did my ds just get me good.

Background:
We have multiple kids ( 8 ) so there really isn't room in our house for a changing table. I've improvised and set up a changing station on a small table near the dining room. I ditch everything into a stack of plastic drawers when we have company and no one is the wiser that we change diapers out there in the open. It's nice too because there is a big window above the table so I can open it up and air out the house when we NEED too. icon_redface.gif if you catch my drift.

Anyway, two year old ds comes at me with a diaper, he's potty training so I thought he just wanted a quick change. Surprise...he needs more than a diaper folks!
I get up from the computer and carry him over to the table. He's bare cheeks to the world.
Suddenly I hear the announcement that the lady from church has arrived to pick up my dd for a sitting job.

Ds (13 and may not survive until 14 icon_mad.gif ) pulls back the curtain to look at her and thus exposes to the world my naked son's dirty backside...the baby was standing on the table. icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

I hiss at him..."shut the curtain! I'm going to smack you silly, boy!"
Then my dd runs over and shuts the window which has been open the whole time.

Folks she heard the whole thing. I'm so embarrassed. icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif

At least she has five kids so maybe she'll not judge us too harshly.
By the way, I don't hit my kids. It was just a knee-jerk reaction on my part.

I'm so humbled right now.
mommachris

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mustang1964 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 1:54am
post #28 of 99

When my son was about four he decided to test a mayonnaise packet out at a restaurant when it broke it went all over everyone at the table including his grandparents hit the ceiling a wall the waitress and some people at another table. I made him apologize but no one probably believed him because I was laughing so hard.
We took my mom out on her birthday and the same son threw up all over the table, me and my mom. It was so bad everyone in that section of the restaurant left.
Or how about the time he had his first basketball game and threw up in the middle of the court. And I had to help the custodian clean it up in front of the whole crowd. After they started to play again everyone was slipping and sliding.
But I think the most embarrassing thing was when he was about 2. We were on a long family vacation ( car trip) We stopped at a gas station and I took him to the bathroom. There was a long line and no one was talking. My son was standing there very innocent not mad or anything and calmly says I am gong to hit you in the milk jugs. Then he just stands there with everyone looking at me. I ignored him I thought what else could he say. Well silly me we had been listening to ZZ Top in the car and my son says I saw a naked cowgirl dancing across the ceiling. We finally get into the bathroom and the toilet was really high so I stood him on the edge somehow he peed in my hand and I said hey you peed in my hand he says how convenient.
This is my kid at 15 who is a straight a student, black belt in karate, and does tons of volunteer work. Scary huh

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moxey2000 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 2:09am
post #29 of 99

This entire thread is absolutely wonderful icon_lol.gif ! I thought I was the only one with a crazy family and crazy kids!

My oldest son has always been very proper. He'd never burp or toot in front of anybody and he's got the best manners (not sure how that happened!) When my next son icon_twisted.gif was old enough to notice this he would do 'the deed' and then loudly blame it on his older brother who would be mortified icon_surprised.gificon_redface.gif .

My daughter, who is the youngest, got me really good in WalMart one day. She was about 4 years old and was usually pretty well behaved in public. She started acting up so I stopped and bent to speak to her, while holding her hand. I barely got the words out when she said, very loudly, "No Mommy don't hit me again" icon_surprised.gif ! I could have just died right there icon_redface.gif . The worst part was that I started laughing icon_lol.gif and then she started laughing. I've never hit my kids so the thought of her saying that just cracked me up!

Kids are great, aren't they?! thumbs_up.gif

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dueter Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 3:30am
post #30 of 99

ROFL...So glad it's not just us.

the masterbathroom shares a wall with the other bathroom in our home. when we first moved in our youngest DS was just 4. my husband used to love going into our bathroom and hollering "HELP ME" while DS was using the potty in the other bathroom. poor kid thought there was someone living in the toilet for the longest time. now he likes pulling the same joke on his younger cousins.

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