My best friend has always been very supportive in my cake decorating adventures. She asked me to make her a cake for her birthday. So I did. She said everyone loved the taste and thought it was so pretty.

One day she asked me to make her a cake or cupcakes for her sons Halloween party, his birthday and for his soccer team party. Of course I said yes.

I even told her I wouldn't charge her for anything but the cost of the cake/cupcakes.

She went with me to a cake supply store and spent $65 on buying supplies for these cakes.

Well, Halloween time came and she said I didn't have to do the cake because she decided not to have the party. I didn't give it a 2nd thought.

Now her sons birthday is coming up and she said she is just going to get a cake from Costco for the party and I don't have to worry about making the cake.

Also, she said she was just going to make the cupcakes herself and frost them with can icing so I don't have to do the cupcakes for that party either.

I told her I didn't mind doing any of the cakes and since she already bought the supplies (I still have them) she might as well let me make them.

She kept saying no. She would just buy the cake and not to worry about it.

I'm really taken back by this. I don't know what to think. I mean if she didn't like my cakes then why ask me to make them and buy all the stuff to decorate them? It can't be because of the cost because she already paid for everything and does not even want me to give her the stuff. She said to keep it as she wouldn't use it.

I don't know if I should be hurt, sad or just forget about it.

Thoughts anyone??????

i would ask if there is a problem. maybe she thinks she is being to pushy to have you make all the stuff. i know i would feel that way. she probably saw the cost of the stuff and was surprised. but being the person i am i would ask her about it. or offer to pay her for the leftover supplies and see what she says. good luck.

after spending $65.00 for supplies mayby she realized how much her order could have been.she is your best friend, why not ask her. it seems to be very difficult to make people understand the value of something that is made by hand.

That is a tough one I am with the others. I would just ask. It is always so hard when someone doesn't talk about what is up. If you just ask you won't be any worse off. It may help bring it all to light and get solved and get things back on track. You dont' want your friendship ruined over whatever it is.
Let us know how you make out. Good luck!!

I would ask her if you could atleast pay her back for the supplies. That way she knows that you were not taking her gor granted by having her purchase all of those supplies,

it sounds like she doesn't want to put you out as she didn't realise what a big job it would be to do it properly. Just ask her, like the others say; she's your friend - she can let you know without you being offended and you might learn something to the advantage of your business.

I did tell her at Halloween I would pay her for the stuff and use it another time. She said no don't worry about it. She wasn't going to need the stuff and didn't mind buying it for me. She is a person who loves to shop and loves to give gifts for no reason.

When she told me about her sons birthday party I told her there was no need for her to buy a cake that she had already paid for the supplies and I really would have no use for the items she bought at a later date so just let me make it for him. She said no, there were to many kids coming and she didn't want to bother me with it. I told her it really didn't matter how many kids she had there was plenty of supplies and it wouldn't really take me much more time to make the cake because I would just use a bigger pan. She just said "No I will get it at Costco it is so much easier".

Then when she told me about the soccer party and that she was going to make her own cupcakes and would use canned icing I told her again, I have all the items and wouldn't be using them later. I told her the cupcakes are so easy I would make them and bring them to her. She said "No really I will either make them or just go buy a cake" she said she didn't the hassle. I tried to tell her it was no problem that I had been planning on making them and would love the extra pracitce. Again she said no don't worry about it.

So I really don't think she will tell me anything else if I try to talk to her again.

She knows I love to do this and I even make some cakes just to give away so I can have the fun of making them. So I have no idea what is going on.

How sad she doesn't want to accept your wonderful creations. Hopefully she'll tell you what is going on and the relationship between you will become easy, again. I wish you all the best, it's a difficult situation, indeed.

I have a feeling she might be upset about something and not telling you. How long have you been friends. Is she the type of person that keeps thing to herselfe. Sounds fishey to me. You should tell her that this hurt your feelings and aske her straight out, What's The problem? I wouldn't be able to let it go. (but im like that) If there is something wrong with the way your cake tastes then she should tell you in a constructive way so maybe there is something you can improve on. I have seen your cakes and they are georgeous i cand imagine they dont taste just as good.

I've just been in your Gallery and your cakes are amazing, if you were a beginner who was charging her a higher price than you were capable of making I could understand her maybe fobbing you off.

But your cakes are fabulous and I the only reason I can think of is perhaps she didn't realise how much work actually goes into these things. I know a lot of people just think its a cake, how hard can it be....

If she is adamant not to let you make the cake, give her back the supplies to use herself on her cupcakes or bring her a cake out of the blue using up her supplies.

Maybe she received so many compliments about your cake that she now feels inferior to you. Maybe that is why she doesn't want you to make anymore cakes for her. I think maybe she doesn't like being "second" best. JMO.

I hope you can come to some kind of resolution with her. Nothing is worth losing a good friend over. Asking questions and talking it out is the best thing to do. Good Luck!

I wasn't even going to charge her except for the cost of the cake which she already bought everything for.

I will give her the supplies back.

She has eaten two of my cakes and went on and on about how yummy they were. She was very honest and said she didn't like the taste of the fondant though but loved the cake and icing inside.

I told her I didn't like the taste of fondant either and wouldn't use it on her cakes.

She had asked me to do her daughters wedding cake too. I asked if she still wanted me to do that and she said yes of course I do.

We have not had any falling out or anything to make her mad. I was thinking that maybe she thought they would take so much time and she felt like she was using me or something.

The only thing is I told her because she has the cakes seen by so many people and knows a lot of people who are in need of cakes I would make her cakes for the cost of the supplies only as I felt I could get others to want to purchase cakes after they see and eat the ones that she orders.

Maybe she doesn't want me to make cakes for people she knows????

Who knows what is going on? I just think it so strange and a bit hurtful. However, I'm not going to beg someone to let me make them cakes. It's just really odd after all her support and talking up my cakes she would do this. I mean Costco???? Come on. If they weren't so cheep would anyone really want them?

I have an idea about why she may not want you to make the cake for her son's events. Maybe he asked her to get him a cake from Costco. For kids, cakes are not about taste and artistry. Perhaps all of his friends get cakes from Costco and he just doesn't want to be different.

As a kid, I went through a phase where anything homemade was embarassing, even if it was better than something purchased at the store. I just didn't want my friends to think that we were too cheap (or couldn't afford) to buy things at the store. They don't understand how much better (and expensive) a home made cake can be.

Definitely ask her about it. You'll feel better once you know the reason.

This is a tough one. Like others have offered in their excellent advice, just ask your friend if there's a problem.

In my experience, some of my relatives stopped asking for cake after they found out how much I charge retail. Through the grapevine I found out that they feel embarassed to ask for such an inexpensive gift from me. And they know I'm slammed during peak times (also when the majority of our family birthdays are). Conversely there are those in my circle that expect opulent creations at the drop of a hat and for free... that's another story.

So, there's another perspective on why your friend may be reluctant to ask you for your beautiful cakes.

Well it certainly isnt because of your decorating, your cakes are beautiful! Maybe she does feel like she would be putting you out, since she really wouldnt be PAYING you for your time. Maybe you will just have to tell her that you are a little disappointed because you really wanted to make the cakes for the party. If there was a reason she did not want you to make them that you would understand, but you would like to know the reason if it had something to do with the style of decorating or the flavor of your cakes...just so you would know for the future.

If I was in this situation I would first offer to give her money for the supplies again just to bring up the topic and then when she says no or whatever...just say "are you sure you don't want me to do the cakes/cupcakes? It's worrying me a little that something is wrong that you aren't saying and I just want to make sure everything is okay." Or just say something about being confused about the whole thing and that you just want to make sure she is okay and isn't upset about anything. I think that is the only way you will feel better about it. Just be real nice and tell her you are worrying about it. That's all. We all have our thoughts on why she could be doing this, but it won't make you feel better unless you know for sure and hear it from her. Friends should be able to be honest with each other...and I'm sure she wouldn't want you worrying over this either. jmo
Keep us posted!

I would personally would not offer to give her money back for the supplies since she bought them intending for you to make the cakes. Maybe I would give her the supplies back and she could return them or whatever she wanted. I wouldnt want to get stuck with stuff that you may or may not use. I guess it is just the principle of the matter.

I agree with one of the other posters, I have a feeling that your friend's son whinned to his mom that your cakes were too fancy for him and he didn't want to be a "show off" with his friends. Boys like it plain and simple. Your friend knows you are her "Ace of Cakes" because I looked at your gallery and you do amazing work. I raised four sons and I have six grandsons and none of them are impressed by anything fancy believe me, they just wanna dig in and eat, lol. Hope you get this straightened out with your friend.

Maybe someone else made her feel guilty or that she was taking advantage. If she is your friend maybe she needs to know that not knowing is perhaps more hurtful to you than knowing. Friendship should be unconditional and folks should say what they feel....OK I hear someone yelling "De Plane De Plane"... oops I am on Fantasy Island again. You have to tell us the end to this story..... If it is just her child's preference that's just kids....

I've read everything here and I agree with so many people on this. Me and my best friend of 15 years started a business doing this together at the beginning of this year, I haven't heard from her since before mother's day this year. I don't know what happened, why she hasn't called, why she hasn't stopped by, I don't know if I did something to upset her or push her away or what not. I tried to get ahold of her numerous times but their phone was either disconnected or phone number changed so I said oh well to heck with it if she wants me she knows where I'm at and how to get in touch with me.

I feel you should call her or even go visit her and find out what's wrong. It may be that she feels as though you may be using her as a way to pull in more clients at the soccer party or whatever it was to be, it may be that she feels she's using you, it may be a number of things. Just give her a call or a visit and ask her explain to her that it's bothering you and you feel as though you may have done something wrong and you want to know what happened to change her mind so that if it was something you did or didn't do you can maybe still fix things, or if it was an issue with your end product then she needs to be honest and tell you "this didn't taste right" or whatever so you can fix that. These are things we need to know nomatter how bad it may hurt our feelings somethings can't be helped we need to know when something doesn't taste right or doesn't look right so on. But she should at least tell you whats eating at her I mean she is your friend and a very close friend if it's bothering you this much.

My best friend (different one then before lol) of 10 years had me make her daughter's birthday cake (yellow one in my photos) I wasn't happy about this at all it wasn't what I had pictured in my mind I wasn't happy with the end product but everyone raved about how beautiful it was and how delicious it was. All this time I was beating myself up and never had one complaint. She told me after the party that I shouldn't be so hard on my self that true friends tell each other when something is wrong and if she wasn't happy with what she had paid for (bought the cake pan and paid me for it against my wishes) she would've taken me aside and told me she wasn't happy.

So in short true friends tell each other what's wrong and what's eating at them give her the opportunity by confronting her about it one more time.

HTH

and then they sit on the front porch and drink margaritas....like Desperate Housewives.... I just loved that.... Not making light... But you could get together for coffee or whatever.... Invite her....

I don't really think you should get stuck with paying for the supplies either, I just figured it was a way to bring the subject up again, and that she would tell you not to worry about it. But just in case she would say okay..maybe you could do what "merissa" said about just offering to give them back to her and go from there. Regardless. I think you should just find a way comfortable for you to tell her you are concerned and want to make sure everything is okay. Keep us posted!

i think you should ask her exactly what is up.....if she is your best friend then you should both be ale to say whats on your minds.

Well first I wanted to say thanks to everyone for being so kind and saying nice things about my cakes.

I spoke to my friend tonight and found out what the problem was.

I'm having a Christmas Tea Party this year and of course she is invited. She asked me what she could bring or do to help out. I told her nothing.
She kept asking to help out.

However, I'm the type of person who LOVES to have parties and I'm kind of known for going all out when I do. I used to do party planning and know that the details are important and that's what people really notice. I love when people come over and really get to relax and enjoy themselves. I want them to go home after having a great time. I NEVER have anyone help me with my parties except my sisters. Even then it's very little help. I don't want anyone to bring anything or clean up or anything.....Just Have Fun.

Well after I told her "no really I don't want you to bring anything or do anything, just come and have fun" for the 5th time....she told me she feels bad because every time she has a party I ALWAYS help her. I help decorate, make food, do goody bags or whatever needs to be done. She went on to say "In fact, that's why I don't want you to make the cakes for the upcoming parties" I just want you to come to my party and have fun like I do at yours.

So there it was. The real reason why she didn't want me to make the cakes. I told her I found it to be an honor to help her and she knows I love doing it. I told her I would still like to make the cakes if she would let me but she said no. So I just let it go.

I did tell her I was going to give her the things back that she bought so she could either use them or return them. She said she didn't want or need them back. She wasn't going to use them and she wouldn't ever take them back. She said she would feel better if I just kept them and maybe I could use them sometime later. So I agreed. I figured I would one day make a cake for her and bring it over just so she and her family could enjoy it..... no party involved.

So that's it. Thanks for your input and all the help you guys gave me.

Joanne

Bravo to you!! (clapping hands) For asking her straight out what the issue was.

Now you can rest easy.

OOPS! Missed the ending...sorry! BRAVO!! Isn't it funny how "true servers" miss it? Sometimes we can't comprehend that people just want us to have some R & R!

I was reading the early posts and I thought, maybe she feels indebted to you for some reason, and does not like it... hence the supplies but No cakes!
And then I read your post.


She probably felt uncomfortable always being "the receiver", and likes to "give" too.

I am glad the issue was resolved, otherwise it would have bothered you forever.

Karen