Man, am I po-ed. My hubby's family takes the cake-literally! They think all I do is sit around waiting for them to tell me they want a cake. A little while back, I was told that I would be making my sister-in-laws wedding cake for a gift. Last time I checked, it was rude to ask for a gift! Now an aunt in the same family has told other family members that I'm making a cake to feed 100 people for her dad's (my hubby's grandpa) 80th bday. Didn't even asked--just assumed that I would do it. And the kicker-I didn't get an invite to the party!! @$#@$% I work 10hr. days and I already have cakes this Thursday and Friday to make. Friday's cake being a a freebie or cheapie for the same family for hubby's niece. I already made a freebie birthday cake for hubby's granny's bday. I was asked to make the cake but no payment or reimursement for supplies.What's up?!? Sorry so long-just needed to vent.
I don't care to help out with cakes. I've tried to let them know that if I offer-it's free, if you ask, then you pay. But I usually give a really low price because they're family. My hubby doesn't understand why I'm so upset. I told him that nobody want to be used and that is exactly how I feel.
I think you need to tell the people that want these cakes here is the ingredient list I need from the store....I think people think of a $1.50 box mix and a $1.50 can of frosting and dont get how much it costs in supplies to make a decorated cake! I know when I made my niece's b-day cake, my sister offerred to pay me, but I said no....so she insisted on at least buying ingredients....and that is fair in my opinion!
JUST SAY NO to cake leaches! Or tell them right away how much it will cost- you don't have to be rude like them, just say something along the lines of " this is becoming a very expensive and time consuming hobby, I hope you understand I am going to have to ask for payment this time- for supplies and labor, it will be $___"
Amber
That's really rude of them. I'm sorry your hubby doesn't understand, but ask him what if it were YOUR family demanding cakes and HE was the cake decorator. I agree with the previous post, people assume that we just buy a cheap box of cake mix, a can of frosting, and work our magic. Nope, it doesn't happen that way! I wouldn't feel bad in the least bit telling them you can't do these cakes because you have other orders to fill for customers who APPRECIATE your talent. Good luck!
That is so totally rude! I can't imagine people doing that. Maybe next time they tell you you're making the cake, tell them politely that you can't because you are already booked for that date and that they need to let you know ahead of time so you can check your schedule and also give them a price.
I guess I just don't have a problem telling people "no". I always do it nicely and will usually tell them why like "I'm sorry. I'm booked that week." or "I'm not available at that time".
It's terrible that your own family takes advantage of you. And your husband should understand. At least you have CC to come and vent to. You know we understand.
Yvette
I agree with you. I myself don't like to be used like that either. My honey's family is the same way and I'm not looking forward to a B-day in November. My SISIL will expect me to make her son's cake free of charge and to deliver it to her a 200 mile round trip. What is she thinking. I just don't know how to tell her NO!NO! I'm hoping my honey won't beg me to do it. I just can't tell him no. I feel bad that you did not even get invited. What is that all about. After all that hard work at least they should of invited you. We just need to learn to say NO! to the leeches.
I don't care to help out with cakes. I've tried to let them know that if I offer-it's free, if you ask, then you pay. But I usually give a really low price because they're family. My hubby doesn't understand why I'm so upset. I told him that nobody want to be used and that is exactly how I feel.
My favorite phrase for such occasions is "I'm booked". Even if I don't have orders, they don't have to know what I'm actually doing.
My husband's aunt and I barter for cakes. She cuts and colors my hair, so I trade for cake when she needs one. Thankfully, she is very sweet and rarely asks. She didn't even expect a free wedding cake when her son was married recently.
Best of luck to you.
Michele
It's hard when it comes to family. Ya try not to cause a big uproar by saying no but it gets worse with every cake ya let slide. I let 2 slide and now they want two big expensive cakes-free. My fault for not nipping it in the bud when it started. It would be easier if it was my family instead of my hubby's. I could tell mine no and not blink and eye. But I lose my backbone with his family.
Okay, DH needs to get a grip ... he's married to YOU, so if you're unhappy, then he should realize by now that he's gonna be unhappy 
.... eventually .....
When someone else tells you "Auntie Nose-in-the-Air says you're making Uncle Sits-on-his-Aspidistra Plant's birthday cake", 
you just tell them "Really? Wonder where she got THAT idea? She hasn't called or asked to do it. I may already have something on my calendar. Gee, I hop she calls me soon 
". Now change the subject. Don't dwell.
When Auntie Nose-in-the-Air calls (and she will 'cuz you've made sure to suggest it to the nosey busybody who made sure you were actually making the cake), take the time to look in your calendar ... checking .... checking .... " 
oh, I'm really sorry, but had you called me two weeks ago, I might have still had the date open. But now I've got firm plans that I just can't break. I'm afraid you're going to have to get it somewhere else this time." Then take a niece (or your sister, a college friend, your Mom) out on your side of the family for some "girlie time fun" and don't regret it.
You're right to feel upset 
that hubby doesn't understand. Maybe if you're family starts pulling this on him [repeatedly!], he'll get it ["You know, John, I am so glad you've got that big pickup 'cuz we're gonna need you to bring it over on Saturday to haul hay bales/furniture/a piano/the marching band's kettle drums for the parade ....."]. It's just no fun to be taken for granted.
As for making these louses pay you for your ingredients, DO IT! In fact, charge them what you would charge someone you don't have any relationship with! They'll eventually get the picture that your time is not for them to just "give away". It's YOUR TIME.
I work with a girl who is getting married some time next year. She's the most miserable person and I really don't care for her at all. But I've already been told she is planning to ask me to do her wedding cake. Now, I have two choices here: 1) suck it up and make her cake, even though she's going to find something to complain about when it's done, or 2) conveniently be "booked" for that weekend. My third option is to do the cake, but WAY overcharge her for it, 
which would feel good to me, but then I'd get to feeling guilty later. I have already decided to take option 2; it's the high road. I don't have to listen to her complain about my cake afterward, AND I don't have to go to a wedding I wouldn't want to attend anyway.
Remember one thing ... these people are CLODS and they "ain't got no couth or fetchin' " as my Dad would say. They have successfully been able to get away with things by not asking you and not paying you what you're worth and, since you're obviously a really nice person who values her reputation, you don't want to look like a heel. They're not going to change, but you can change how you deal with them.
You have my sympathies, but you also have a lot of cheerleaders here @ CC with me when we say: you're mad as He*% and you're not going to take it any more! You go girl!!! 
Odessa
p.s. That nonsense about not even getting invited to the party just burns me up! 
If someone presumed I was making a cake for them and then somehow "forgot" to send me the invitation, I would manage to somehow "forget" to have a cake made for them ! Apparently you're made of $$$ and you've got nothing but TIME to do their bidding! 
BAD - BAD - BAD people!
Odessa-you're too funny. I appreciate all the ideas. And thanks for understanding like no one else has. Oh, his family used to volunteer him for all kinds of things a few years ago. He just quit showing up to whatever they wanted him to do and stopped answering the phone. They got the picture pretty quick! So, you would think he'd understand.
Oh jeez, I hope you don't do these! Especially if they are being so snotty (that's the most polite word I could think of ) to not invite you to the party they are ASSuming you are going to make a cake for. If you feel you must (and you shouldn't), just get a mix, don't add anything to it, and slap a can of frosting on it. Tell them they get what they pay for.
-Lisa
If he doesn't like you just telling them no give him a box of cake mix and a piping bag. You aren't telling them no but you aren't being forced to make it. If the cake doesn't look the way they want don't worry about it, tell them that you figured your husband making it would mean more to them. He'll get the hint quick too because he won't like being expected to make the cake, he might even call them to tell them they aren't getting a cake from you. 
I'm waiting for an actual phone call from the aunt who's telling everyone that I'm doing the cake. It depends on how early she calls me and what she says whether I make the cake or not. If she will help with the supplies then maybe. If I make the cake, then I am attending the party. Period. His other grandchildren are attending and My hubby should attend his papaw's birthday party. Someone isn't handling the arrangements for this thing very well. I'm wondering who else they forgot to send and invitation to.
If he doesn't like you just telling them no give him a box of cake mix and a piping bag. You aren't telling them no but you aren't being forced to make it. If the cake doesn't look the way they want don't worry about it, tell them that you figured your husband making it would mean more to them.
He'll get the hint quick too because he won't like being expected to make the cake, he might even call them to tell them they aren't getting a cake from you.
I like this solution, too!
You know, people -- especially our families -- should know better than to pull this kind of crap on us. I'd settle for someone coming over to clean up my messy kitchen when I'm through with a cake! 
Your Dh needs to stand up for you. I'm sure he's man enough to do that !! 
Saying no is not a sin nor a crime if done in a sort of "nice" way.
When my husband and I first moved back, to his old stomping ground, I too was "used" to make cakes for free. But after the second one every one "knew" I was not going to be used for free cakes again. If I volunteer thats my choice. My husband now knows to ask me first not tell me later. He knows that I will convinietly forget till that morning and there is no way that it will be done on time. He has tried that again recently. Or I should say they. But I let him know that I have not heard from them. So I know nothing, nothing will be done. 
Okay, your husband refuses to do anything free for them and he thinks you shouldn't mind... Take you que from him and act like you don't know anything about it since you weren't invited. If the aunt does eventually call, just say that you cannot possibly take on an order of that size on such short notice without a downpayment for the supplies. It is then your choice to charge for the labor or donate it as his gift. If she tries to get you to do it for free just tell her you have too much invested in materials and supplies to keep giving freebies for every occasion. You might have something in writing detailing your charges just in case she presses the subject. You have to put on your professional decorators hat (apron) so that she doesn't walk all over you. It's time to stand up for yourself because you are worth every penney that you charge.
What I would do is just show up with out a cake as long as you never said you would then you never really even knew you where supposed to right? I would just walk in and when they see you dont have a cake they will get the idea and if they think its so easy they can rush to the store and by the supplies and make it themselfs. All it takes is for them to relize that you arnt always going to be there to make the cakes then they will get the idea. And if they ask say yeah that sounds great when are you bring the supplies over something not rude but be serious.
The only reason I'm even thinking about making this cake is that there will be at least 80 people there-some of which are high up in my community. If the cake turns out well, this could really boost my cake sales. And I also really care about my hubby's grandpa. I just hate it that they take me for granted. Make the cake? Yes?, no?, I don't know!! If I do, I WILL ask for money for supplies.
You better find out first who will be paying for the cake. If no one person has ordered the cake then no one person will be paying for it. If they do not know what the cost will be then they do not know how much to collect if it will be more than one person contributing to the payment. Make sure everything is perfectly clear before you buy supplies, otherwise you will only feel taken for granted again. They simply do not realize how expensive and timeconsuming it is to make cakes. If this cake will benefit your business, Great, but realize that if you give away this cake your next customer might expect a good deal also. Good Luck
The only reason I'm even thinking about making this cake is that there will be at least 80 people there-some of which are high up in my community. If the cake turns out well, this could really boost my cake sales. And I also really care about my hubby's grandpa. I just hate it that they take me for granted. Make the cake? Yes?, no?, I don't know!! If I do, I WILL ask for money for supplies.
I've read this whole post, and I think I finally found the key for you on this one. This is YOUR choice. no one else's...people will always try to make you do for them, but we have to take charge of our own resources and let them know what we are willing to give to that. But the part about "I really care about my gampa's hubby," is the part you want to feed. I would consider the recipient and how meaningful it is to them to receive the gift of cake made just with them in mind. That might help you to decide what you want to do with YOUR time and energy. The rest is side issues, and all the clamor and noise of people's taking will always try to drown out the reason we do it in the first place, and if it results in extra sales, that too is one of life's side issues. Whatever you decide, make it your "want to" rather than "have to" and even your cake will turn out much better. Good luck with it all.
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