Okay, my stepson and his "thing" are getting married in May, of course they told me they wanted me to make the cake.(free of charge of course). So i said "cool". my DH gave them some money apart from the Cake that i would be baking. So it stayed as is. "She" let me know what kind of cake she wanted. It was the 3 tiered cake on the latest wilton tiered cakes magazine.(pink and white)I said i can do that so i made one and emailed them the pic of it. they said they really liked it. mind you it was a cake i had baked for the family but decided to try to decorate it just for the heck of it.
They live 2hrs away and have lived together for 4 years, so he calls my DH and says they would be coming in this weekend to go do some taste testing at some catering places and ask if it was possible for me to bake them a cake for them to taste. Wanted white cake and pineapple filling and want me to decorate it the way they want it. At this point i am a tad upset and just blow it off. He calls again today and tells me they would be coming in next weekend in stead and would like a cake for them to taste. *^^%$*$)$ He has had my cake for the past 15 years and she has had them for the past 5 and is still asking for a sample. B*#^%!
Well i called my husband and told him i would not be doing their cake afterall. I told him they could go somewhere else and pay for it if they want . And he agreed. Its not like they're paying for the cake and its not like they've never had it either. WHAT AN INSULT. WELL i think i'm done venting. DH said if they still want me to make it, he would charge them full price for it thanks for reading. \\\\

can i have some Input please.

Taste testing a free cake is a bit of an imposition. I probably would have said no the first time. Stick to your guns.

You could be like Duff. He does wedding cakes for friends, free, ONLY if he has complete control over the cake.

I love that.

first, can we get 3 cheers for the husband for supporting you?

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as for tasting -- have you made this exact combo before for them to taste?

if not -- seems reasonable to want to preview the combo before it becomes their wedding cake.

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as for decorating it -- fuhgeddabouit!!!! -- that's just too much to ask.

I would probably offer to stand up and bend over so it would be easier for them to take a flyin' kiss at my a-- ...... well, you know.!

I think it's best for all parties concerned that you do not make their wedding cake.

Doug: Yes i have made this combo, and many others that they have had.

Indydebi: i have to agree, they can just kiss it if they want. ... Well i wouldnt even give them that pleasure anymore.

Thanks for the support. he called @6pm tonite and i'm still fuming

I agree with everyone before me.
stick to your guns!

My question is if they are not getting married until May, that is next year, this is August. Do you know how many times they could change their minds about flavor and designs????

Do they think you will do sample cakes of all their changes also?

As a famous little boy would say "good grief"

Indydeb, my stomach still hurts from laughing and you are totally right thats just what those two lunatics should do. Humph!!! the nerve of some people a FREE cake and still giving hard time!

Me too. Such a supportive husband. Well done to him. You don't deserve to be treated like that - especially not by family!

I don't know, maybe he doesn't realize he insulted you? I'd explain it to him, first: Let him know he's tried this combination. Tell him to leave it to you, not to worry ,and just be grateful he's being saved what could be 1,000 dollars! He should know no matter what the flavor it'll be incredible and a great cake.
If he still feels like he needs to have a taste, then I'd say no way!

I'm glad your not just letting this slide ,and your husband is supporting you!

Ditto to what everyone else has said. If they have lived together that many years, I would think they are making a big deal out of this wedding with caterers and tastings (JMO). In nine months they could change their minds several times as to what they expect of you. Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you.

Diane

Even if you do happen to make this cake, "SHE" is going to have something insulting to say about the way it was made or the decorations etc.
No, I also wouldn't do it, stick to your guns!!
They are trying to p#$@ you off somehow, because they don't want you to make this cake for them!!!!!
And, I take my hat off to your husband for standing by your, not everyday
you get a husband that will stand by you!!

Indydebi - you are hilarious!

Good for you (and here's another nod to your husband for supporting your decision)!

I'm so glad your husband is supporting you... I can't believe your son would do that! Definately not a freebie for them... I think I'd even charge for the tasting! It probably is a better idea to have nothing to do with their cake... Support them in their tastings and explain that you'll be able to enjoy the wedding festivities more completely with out cake taking up the whole time!

good luck...

You make sure you give that man of yours a big Ol kiss and hug and let your step son and monster in law to go to walmart...they will make them a cake for cheap.

Sounds to me like they are doing the "posta" method .....

You're posta get free samples of everything when you plan a wedding ...

but not if your MOM is doing it!

Doing the wrong thing here could create some long lasting problems and resentments. Granted they are being ridiculous, but lots of people get wierd as they plan their wedding. What I would do is treat their time with you as a visit. If (when) they ask about the tasting, I would just laugh and say you thought they were kidding as they have been eating your cake for years and go on to say that they have nothing to worry about you have the cake thing under control. I have 3 step children and my husband would defend me if needed, but they are the light of my life. On the other hand if I mean mouthed them he wouldn't attack me but his heart would be hurt. In this case I would put my dear husband's heart first. Now if the kid is a jerk, always has been a jerk and always will be a jerk, that is different. I'm thinking he just has the wedding wierds right now.

I think that if you AND your wonderful husband agree, then you're doing the right thing.

What a good hubby!

I can see how these things happen... having step children and living in a his and mine world. However, I stand up and applaud your husband! Well done! It is very difficult to be a step family. I think... to save the family a lot of grief... a heart to heart is in order... be honest about how you feel. We try to do that here and sometimes it is hard... and things are hard to hear... but in the end... everyone knows where they stand. Just my thoughts on the matter... and if that doesn't work.... I'd go with indydebi's idea....

I have a step-son who is getting married in November for the second time. The first time he got married he told me right to my face "you are not good enough yet to make our wedding cake"...I had only been decorating cakes, including wedding cakes, for 13 years so I kinda considered myself somewhat "good"...now for this wedding he wants a "professional" to do his cake. NOW I have been decoratin for 21 years...still not good enough for him. I am GLAD he didn't ask me...that way I didn't have to tell him HELL NO...I figure that he can ask HIS MOTHER to do it...

Thanks everyone. I knew you all would make me feel better.
Yes my hubby is awesome. And he did say if they wanted to have a tasting I'd charge them $35 for a 6'. And i never offered myself to make it the just said i would be doing it.
You all are right . they are a couple of ungrateful pains in the A**

Hi... I can understand your frustration from reading your message. But maybe they don't want to miss out on any aspect of planning a wedding, one of which for many couples is a cake tasting.

If you have the time, means and willingness to do so, my opinion would be to make them a small cake in their flavors, and decorate it simply, incorporating some of the techniques they want for their special day. See what they say, then decide whether you will/won't do their cake. (I bet they leave very happy and pleased, and even more excited about their upcoming wedding.)

However, if you cannot/will not be able to make a cake for them when they come to meet with caterers, how about offering to make one in their flavor combo for the next family gathering/holiday?

This way, you are still accommodating them. This will help keep peace in the family.

Whatever you decide, I wish you peace and happiness.

I am just waiting for the day that my step-son asks me to make his cake after they go out and price cakes!! He better NOT...he called me and asked me what a good price to pay for a cake was and I told him how much I charge and he said "well the places that we have checked on charge more than that"...So I know he has been looking so he can just keep on looking and then fork out the money on his own, cuz this STEP-MOTHER ain't doing it!!