Is This Being Selfish?

Decorating By JasmineRose Updated 8 Aug 2007 , 11:51pm by ckkerber

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JasmineRose Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 10:42pm
post #1 of 7

My boss asked me last week to make her wedding cake for the end of Sept and that she would reimburse me for everything. We got most of the details squared away except guest count, which will likely be on the small side. I was excited about doing this for her until I later found out the wedding will be at her mother's home and I don't want to deal with her mother's attitude at all. I'd simply be dropping off the cake in BFE, and would either be on a day I had to work and otherwise had little or no time to do so or a day off which usually never feels like a day off.

As much as I love my boss, I don't feel that in completely good conscience I am up for the task. No matter how much she and her husband may love the cake, I still have to go to work with her mother and will definitely hear all her criticisms after the fact (she has something against me that she doesn't seem to have against anyone else). On the other hand, I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to do the cake anymore or if I even should.

Any advice on how to handle this?

6 replies
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tmt Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 10:55pm
post #2 of 7

Maybe you can say that something else came up the day of the wedding so you won't be able to deliver but that someone could pick it up? this could be a way of avoiding giving a reason why you don't want to deliver.

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havingfun Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 10:56pm
post #3 of 7

How wonderful that your boss wants you to do the cake. In life there will always be people who have not "matured" and cannot say the nice things. We deal with them everyday. I would ask you: If the mother were not in the picture, would you want to do the cake? If the answer to this is "yes", then make the cake, and when the comments come, reply: "I am so glad you feel this way! _____ loved the cake and that is what really matters to me." Then turn around and walk off. My Granny always said "kill 'em with kindness". Now on the other hand, if you do not want to do the cake no matter what, say no. Always remember, the only person who can make you feel bad is the person YOU let make you feel bad. Good luck no matter what.

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MadPhoeMom Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 11:05pm
post #4 of 7

will it need assembly?
girl, if i was doing a cake simply for 'reimbursement' of costs, then i'd let them come get their own cake.....

if it needs to be delivered, i'd be sure that SOMEone is there as a buffer, even if you have to bring a friend along.

i'd just drop in and get to work. i'd work REAL hard at the assembly (as in, 'i'm concentrating don't interrupt me')

hope it works out well for all.....
you work with your boss' mother?

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armywife83 Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 11:05pm
post #5 of 7

I agree with "havingfun". You have to remind yourself that the cake is for your boss, not her mother. The bride is confident enough in your skills to ask you to do it for her,so I say go for it! icon_smile.gif How you are feeling is not being selfish at all...You are just trying to avoid conflict & spare your own feelings because you know the mother may say nasty things because of whatever she may have against you.

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Doug Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 11:06pm
post #6 of 7

if you make it and granny complains, possible response

Since it wasn't your cake, you don't have a right to complain.

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ckkerber Posted 8 Aug 2007 , 11:51pm
post #7 of 7

Wow, that's a tough one. Here's what I would do. I would do the cake, make the best damn cake that you know how to make, and knock the socks off of your boss and her soon to be husband. Go into it knowing that her mom will pick it apart and will find something wrong with it . . . but when all of the guests and the bride and groom are raving over it, the mom will look ridiculous. You already know her opinion, therefore it doesn't matter. Do this for your boss and go above and beyond to make it the highlight of the wedding.

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