Wedding Nightmare Finally Over (Long, But W/pics)

Decorating By tdybear1978 Updated 24 Jul 2007 , 4:50pm by tdybear1978

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OhMyGoodies Posted 23 Jul 2007 , 8:40pm
post #31 of 60

Ya win some ya lose some icon_sad.gif You should've been given a hefty tip on that one hun you went thru hell and back to give them the day they wanted and they don't even tip ya... sucks!

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FrostinGal Posted 23 Jul 2007 , 9:06pm
post #32 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by tdybear1978

thanks everyone - well, when it is all over you think you are done with them but I got a call from the mom today to settle up on the bill for the extra (last minute) table skirts she had me bring and I very subtlely went over everything we had to go thru while they were not there with the food problems and all she said was well I am so glad that it turned out can you please email me any pictures of the food tables that you have so I can see what they looked like and then authorized me to charge the $30 for the extra skirts. HAHA so much for some little tip I thought we deserved lol




Perhaps she needs some not-so-subtle going over. Like a sledgehammer!
How people can be so self-entitled and rude is beyond me.
I would have billed her at least for the extra time. I'm not as nice as I used to be. icon_surprised.gif

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Luby Posted 23 Jul 2007 , 11:51pm
post #33 of 60

You did a great job - everything looks beautiful!

You definitely earned your money & I hope she compensated you well because you saved the day!

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mkolmar Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:53am
post #34 of 60

You deserve a big ol' FATTY tip, but sounds like that's not going to happen. They should be thanking you like nobody's business! The cake is gorgeous and the table set up is very pretty. You are a good person--a lot of other caterers would have left.

As a side note--at my DH's Aunts wedding the servers were eating most of the food and they ran out. My DH's family is from Europe so there was an 8 ft table set up with desserts made from my MIL. She worked so hard on these desserts. (Now the reception was at the most expensive hotel in Toledo, Ohio and cost the couple a fortune on top of members from the Toledo Symphony playing, each person was given a small crystal and it was a small wedding for about 35 people.) Needless to say they wanted a nice day to remember. Well, they got one. We were wondering what happened to the plates of desserts set out, only about 10 people got some, I looked in the servers area to ask and see them stuffing there faces. The bride had her plate for maybe 3 minutes and they took it away from her in mid-bite. The entertainment was a comedian that was HORRIBLE. No one was laughing at all. It was a horrid wedding reception, but the music was good.

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stacyyarger Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:09am
post #35 of 60

The cake is beautiful!!!! I think you did a Great Job!!!!!!!!!!


Thanks for sharing,
Stacy

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CoutureCake Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 5:59am
post #36 of 60

What lesson did this teach us ALL... Time to add a clause to our contracts if we don't already have one if this situation occurs again in the future (which it WILL icon_confused.gif )...

"Caterer will provide only the contracted number of servings ordered. In the event that food runs short because of your lack of planning and RSVP counting it's not our fault you're an idiot and we will only serve the first ____ guests invited as determined by the count of plates being equal to your guest attendees ordered. yada yada yada... If you at that time want to have us feed everyone you will need to approve it and pay $$$$ for staff and $$$$ per guests per plate."..

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KatieTaylor77 Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 8:05am
post #37 of 60

All I can say is . . . . WOW!

You really went beyond the call of duty!

Maybe the bride's mother just didn't really grasp what you had to do in order to salvage the event--people who don't cook or entertain don't really appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that go into your profession.

You did an excellent job, everything was beautiful!

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rlsaxe Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 1:18pm
post #38 of 60

here's what I don't get: where I live.....people rsvp for the reception. Your RSVP reserves you a seat at an assigned table where dinner will be either served to you or where you will park your behind after going through a buffet. No RSVP, no seat for you!
I can't wrap my head around people who don't rsvp, yet still show up at a reception and EAT FOOD on top of it all!
Incredibly rude.

Manners, people. Get some!

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tdybear1978 Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 1:44pm
post #39 of 60

I talked to the mom again when verifying where to email the pictures and she asked me if I had any idea or guess how many people were there, there were just so many more that they could not believe it. and she went on about how there were people there who had not even been invited so I asked her well, how many RSVP's did you get and she said "well we did not do RSVP's, I guess maybe we should have" i could not believe it. she also said that they sent out just over 200 invites and I guess every last one of them came also haha

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ShaunaCann Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:09pm
post #40 of 60

WOW! Wedding from you know where! The gall of some people. Not do RSVPs for a wedding. CRAZY!

Sounds like you did an amazing cover up for them though. Your cake and presentation were beautiful. Leave it to the caterer to pull it all together for a absent minded bride.

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indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:16pm
post #41 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoutureCake

What lesson did this teach us ALL... Time to add a clause to our contracts if we don't already have one if this situation occurs again in the future (which it WILL icon_confused.gif )...

"Caterer will provide only the contracted number of servings ordered. In the event that food runs short because of your lack of planning and RSVP counting it's not our fault you're an idiot and we will only serve the first ____ guests invited as determined by the count of plates being equal to your guest attendees ordered. yada yada yada... If you at that time want to have us feed everyone you will need to approve it and pay $$$$ for staff and $$$$ per guests per plate."..




icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif I luv this! Can I quote you!?

On the serious side, I actually DO have something in my Terms of Agreement stating that food quantities are based on "standard and normal consumption"; I also added a FAQ to my website invoking the "....if your family eats like Jethro Bodine..." theory!

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cattycornercakes Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:21pm
post #42 of 60

Beautiful cake and set up!

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weirkd Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:21pm
post #43 of 60

Love the cake! Great job! And they should be kissing your feet right now!!

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bkdcakes Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:28pm
post #44 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by tdybear1978

I talked to the mom again when verifying where to email the pictures and she asked me if I had any idea or guess how many people were there, there were just so many more that they could not believe it. and she went on about how there were people there who had not even been invited so I asked her well, how many RSVP's did you get and she said "well we did not do RSVP's, I guess maybe we should have" i could not believe it. she also said that they sent out just over 200 invites and I guess every last one of them came also haha




Well, I find that most people don't count the fact that the invitation is for a couple or family, not one person. I often have to explain that to people, because they don't get it. Also, it doesn't do any good to do RSVP's where I am, nobody sends them or calls, except a few of us who understand the reason for them. It is just by guess & by golly, plan for the max & hope it holds out! Also, until a few years ago, no one here did dinner or food at a reception, except cake, coffee, punch, nuts & mints.

Bless you for going above & beyond!

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omaida Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:29pm
post #45 of 60

You poor thing!!! Thank God it's over. Your cake is beautiful and the tables look very good.
Excellent job.

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tdybear1978 Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:38pm
post #46 of 60

thanks everyone - I was just so surprised because everyone does RSVP's here, even for the little pidly kids birthday parties, so you would think for a big thing like a wedding they would see the need. I think what also happened is that the groom is a frat guy and (I think) some of the buddies got wind of the kegs (yes I said keg, isn't that classy) that would be there and probably thougth "WOW FREE BEER" haha

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alittlesliceofhaven Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 2:50pm
post #47 of 60

So, you only mentioned adding the $30 skirt cost. Did she pay for the extra food? I would definitely addmore to the bill than just the grocery store receipt - you had to prepare and use your gas... Where did they seat everyone?

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indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:06pm
post #48 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by tdybear1978

.... They ordered my wedding package (which includes food, cake, punch, servers, etc.) to serve 150 guests and they upgraded their cake up to serve 200,...... and tell me that they were only expecting 100 guests at the wedding and 210 signed in the guest book icon_eek.gif and there were people showing up to the reception that did not even attend the wedding.




These people have no clue!

They were expecting 100 people at the wedding.
They ordered food for 150.
They ordered cake for 200.

Sounds like they were trying to do it "on the cheap". Food costs more than cake, so order less food, more cake. What an idiotic idea!

When I had a bride who wanted to order an extra sheet cake for 50 "...just in case", she was surprised when her food order ALSO went up by 50 "just in case". I asked her, "Are you expected these unexpected 50 people to show up just for dessert?"

Under Lessons Learned:
- if they are ordering cake for 200, then they need to order food for 200. I will let a bride order food for 200 and cake for 175, but never the other way around.
- Ask how many were invited .... not how many invitations were sent but how many people were actually invited. THen apply the 60% Rule and the exceptions (sounds like "member of a fraternity" might need to be added to my exception list!).

Not using RSVP's is not uncommon since they never really give an accurate headcount anyway. I had one mother who called to increase the food by 10 due to some last minute RSVP's. She had 149 people who said, "Yes, I will definitely be there." She had 92 people actually show up. 57 people who said they would be there, didn't show. (BTW, if they had just used my 60% Rule, it would have indicated 100-105 expected guests! Right on the money, babe!)

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tdybear1978 Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:15pm
post #49 of 60

I did not charge for the extra food because it was a friend of the mom who went to the store and got the extra food. When they got back my 3 people and 3 friends of mom started putting it all together. I told the mom that she has outstanding friends

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OhMyGoodies Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:35pm
post #50 of 60

I remember a topic a while back that was basically stating you needed to be very specific on how you invite people to your wedding.. when addressing the envelope make it quite clear that Mary and John are the only ones invited not Mary John little Johnny Jr Katie and Pammy Lynn plus Jr's girl friend and Katies boyfriend... icon_wink.gif gotta make it clear to people that whomever's name is on the outside of that envelope is the one invited.

When I envite people to my daughter's party I'll put Mary and Family!!! indicating I want the entire family to come if they can make it. When it's something I need to control the amount of people I'll simply put Mary & John and if it needs to be said I'll include a small note that says No Children at this event!

I think that's the mistake in planning this woman made she sent out 200 invites most of which were probably for couples so if half were couples that's still 300 people invited to a wedding she's only planning to serve dinner to half of those invited and cake to 2/3 of them... I think there should be a set amount thing done similar to the way we do cake...

If someone needs say 13 pieces of cake, you either order a cake to feed more then 13 incase someone wants extras or you order individual cupcakes... type thing... I think it should be the same for catering... I have invited 144 people to my wedding, 138 have RSVP'ed so I'd like to have food prepared for 144 people just incase they all show up. What I would expect to be told is, you have your choice 125 or 150 dinners being served which would you prefer to order. I'd rather have too much food then not enough and by going over by 6 head worth of food then you have a little extra for the photographer, DJ, or anyone else that nibbles that wasn't previously included in the head count.

That leads me to another question since I'm planning my own wedding now..... When factoring head count for food and cake amounts... do I factor in the preacher, DJ, Photographer, etc into these counts? Do these people normally eat at the reception? Do these people normally EXPECT to be fed in addition to being paid? Thanks for anyone who can answer this.

Sorry to hi-jack your topic but it kinda relates lol

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indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:42pm
post #51 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMyGoodies

That leads me to another question since I'm planning my own wedding now..... When factoring head count for food and cake amounts... do I factor in the preacher, DJ, Photographer, etc into these counts? Do these people normally eat at the reception? Do these people normally EXPECT to be fed in addition to being paid? Thanks for anyone who can answer this.

Sorry to hi-jack your topic but it kinda relates lol




Depends on the caterer and depends on the DJ, Photog, etc. As the caterer, I always feed the other vendors at no extra charge and I always go up to the band, DJ, Photog, to make sure they are aware they are welcome to help themselves to the buffet. One DJ told me it's in his contract that he is fed. Most caterers charge for these people to eat, but I believe in keeping care of "us vendors"! Bear in mind that some of these people (photographer for example) are putting in an 8-12 hour day for the bride ..... not to feed them is pretty inconsiderate, although if we had nothing but considerate brides, there would be no Bridezilla show on TV! icon_lol.gif

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OhMyGoodies Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:49pm
post #52 of 60

Debi will you come be my caterer? lmao I'm going to be on a major budget though lmao

No really we were planning on doing it all ourselves which is why I asked that question because I'd hate to not have enough if they were to eat and I'd hate to have so much left over because they didn't eat lol.

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AuntieElle Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 3:52pm
post #53 of 60

WOW! What a night!!!!!!Sounds absolutely exhausting!!! Nice to see you were victorious!

Elle

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indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:22pm
post #54 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMyGoodies

Debi will you come be my caterer? lmao I'm going to be on a major budget though lmao

No really we were planning on doing it all ourselves which is why I asked that question because I'd hate to not have enough if they were to eat and I'd hate to have so much left over because they didn't eat lol.




When you get right down to the wire, contact me and I'll be more than happy to help you with quantities and such.

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OhMyGoodies Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:24pm
post #55 of 60

Thanks Debi icon_wink.gif I knew you'd help me icon_razz.gif

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indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:25pm
post #56 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMyGoodies

I remember a topic a while back that was basically stating you needed to be very specific on how you invite people to your wedding.. when addressing the envelope make it quite clear that Mary and John are the only ones invited not Mary John little Johnny Jr Katie and Pammy Lynn plus Jr's girl friend and Katies boyfriend... icon_wink.gif gotta make it clear to people that whomever's name is on the outside of that envelope is the one invited.




The problem is Average Joe has no idea this is how it works. You can address them all as properly as can be, but when you send one to "John and Mary", they will bring along their 7 kids anyway!

I am including this issue in the Wedding Workshop I am putting together. ..... a how-to on wedding planning and executing.

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doitallmom Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:38pm
post #57 of 60

Well Kudos to you!!! Most people just don't understand all the in and outs- they just want lots of lavish things for less than the amount it takes the vendor to get it!

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kwdonlon Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:41pm
post #58 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoutureCake

What lesson did this teach us ALL... Time to add a clause to our contracts if we don't already have one if this situation occurs again in the future (which it WILL icon_confused.gif )...

"Caterer will provide only the contracted number of servings ordered. In the event that food runs short because of your lack of planning and RSVP counting it's not our fault you're an idiot and we will only serve the first ____ guests invited as determined by the count of plates being equal to your guest attendees ordered. yada yada yada... If you at that time want to have us feed everyone you will need to approve it and pay $$$$ for staff and $$$$ per guests per plate."..



icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif I luv this! Can I quote you!?

On the serious side, I actually DO have something in my Terms of Agreement stating that food quantities are based on "standard and normal consumption"; I also added a FAQ to my website invoking the "....if your family eats like Jethro Bodine..." theory!





Hysterical...ya gotta wonder who raised these kind of people.

Tdy, congrats on a fabulous job done...what's that line about the duck? Paddling like crazy under water but looking calm like a duck on top...sounds like that was your kind of day!

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kwdonlon Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:42pm
post #59 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoutureCake

What lesson did this teach us ALL... Time to add a clause to our contracts if we don't already have one if this situation occurs again in the future (which it WILL icon_confused.gif )...

"Caterer will provide only the contracted number of servings ordered. In the event that food runs short because of your lack of planning and RSVP counting it's not our fault you're an idiot and we will only serve the first ____ guests invited as determined by the count of plates being equal to your guest attendees ordered. yada yada yada... If you at that time want to have us feed everyone you will need to approve it and pay $$$$ for staff and $$$$ per guests per plate."..



icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif I luv this! Can I quote you!?

On the serious side, I actually DO have something in my Terms of Agreement stating that food quantities are based on "standard and normal consumption"; I also added a FAQ to my website invoking the "....if your family eats like Jethro Bodine..." theory!





Hysterical...ya gotta wonder who raised these kind of people.

Tdy, congrats on a fabulous job done...what's that line about the duck? Paddling like crazy under water but looking calm like a duck on top...sounds like that was your kind of day!

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tdybear1978 Posted 24 Jul 2007 , 4:50pm
post #60 of 60

thanks for all the compliments. Even though we were absolutley wiped out come midnight - I think that everything turned out ok and I was happy with the look of our tables.

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