Big Families

Lounge By ddog Updated 8 Aug 2006 , 6:41pm by ddog

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ddog Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 8:54pm
post #1 of 30

Hi everyone! I am expecting my fourth child. I am starting to realize that to some this seems crazy. It is almost like THEY are the ones stressed out about it. Of course, I don't know why it should bother anyone else, but it seems like it does. I have heard lots of jokes, lots of glad its you and not me, and very few congratulations. So, do any of you have any great come backs for all these comments. I really am getting sick of it.
thanks for listening, and if you think I'm nuts for having four kids please don't tell me icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif, DOnna

29 replies
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jen1977 Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 9:07pm
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I don't have any sugestions for you since we only have two kids, but wanted to let you know that I grew up in a family of four kids, and it was almost always hectic, loud, busy, and full of laughter and lots of fun. There was NEVER a dull moment in our house, but I loved it! DH and I decided it would either be 2 or 4 to keep things even, and decided on 2 since our house isn't big enough for 2 more, LOL. Good luck! You're in for lots of laughter and fun!

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MissT Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 9:20pm
post #3 of 30

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! How about when they say better you than me you reply "that's what my kids thinks too!!" icon_lol.gif

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kakedecorator Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 9:35pm
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Donna, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
I am the mother of 5 and I come from a family of 9 children. My husband is an only child and he just didn't know how to handle all the "noise". Of course, I never heard noise, I heard children playing.
He has a story that he likes to tell people. "My wife doesn't have enough children in the house. She goes out on the street and drags more in."
Counting the 5 I had we also had 4 foster children. I love a house full of love.
I'm an "empty nester" been about 5 years now and I'm still not use to it. Needless to say, my husband loves it. icon_cry.gif

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mbelgard Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 9:53pm
post #5 of 30

Congratulations!!
I'm from a family of 7 kids and there were times I hated it but it was tons of fun too, especially when my parents were moving us. icon_lol.gif
I have a few comebacks but you might not really want to use them. icon_twisted.gif How about "I'm sure the baby is glad it's me and not you."
Another might be "Yeah, I'm a far better parent than you so it's for the best."
My father's parents had 2 kids and 17 grandkids. icon_lol.gif

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bovaritter Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 9:57pm
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I say congrats! We are trying for a third and I feel the same way...many think we are nuts...but I feel right...then we will see...Is it true having three is tough because of the odd number? I have heard that a lot.
Mere

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jo_ann Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 10:19pm
post #7 of 30

Don't think your crazy at all. I have four (1 girl and 3 boys). I also miscarried twins(my last pregnancy). It's alot of fun and as I say the more the merrier.
When someone says "I'm glad its you and not me." say "So am I.". Don't worry about what these insensitive people think. It's what you and your dh feel that matters.

On an ot. Once I took my four kids,three of their friends my mother and my now ex to Long Island to visit my brothers. We stopped at one of the thruway rest areas and we were in line to order some food for the kids. Anyway this woman behind us looks at her companion and says that poor woman, she has 7 kids. I laughed and said we left the other dozen home.

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emilykakes Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 10:20pm
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I only have 3 kids and I get the same kind of comments all the time. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "WOW! You sure do have your hands full!" I would not have to worry about my kids college tuition. I know this is a well meaning comment but when you hear it literally EVERY time you walk out the door...it get kida annoying.

Again...Congratulations! I would love to have #4 one day!!!

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Lisa Posted 3 Aug 2006 , 10:23pm
post #9 of 30

Congratulations! We have four children too. DH and I were both one of four and I think it's the magic number icon_biggrin.gif When people comment that we have a large family, I tell them about my grandmothers. My DD was one of 8 and DM was one of 12. That usually takes the heat off of us icon_lol.gif

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ddog Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 2:00am
post #10 of 30

Thanks so much everyone! You made me smile,laugh, and feel very happy!!!! I really have enjoyed my children and can't wait to have this baby too!
--bovaritter--Three kids have worked out great for us. I can still drive a regular car with three kids!!! icon_lol.gif Although my back seat does have three car seats jammed in it still works! I have just always wanted four!
--emilykakes-- people always tell me that about having my hands full too, it can get old. My girls are
5, 3, and 2 so we tend to make a scene everywhere we go!

I had my girls real close together (3 girls in 3 1/2 years). My youngest will be three when this baby is born, so I think that will be good. Again thankyou all for the kind words and great stories. that is just what I needed!

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CakeRN Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 2:07am
post #11 of 30

I came from a family of 8 kids...4 girls, 4 boys and let me tell you it was hectic and never enough money but there was lots of love. My baby brother is a cinematographer (films movies) and he is so very generous to all the nieces and nephews. He is the only one of us that is not married and without kids so all of our kids are like his. They all (us too) love him to death. We use to always meet for holidays at my moms but my husband and I moved back to my home town 2 years ago and bought a big old victorian house that has plenty of room for 30 or more people. Everyone loves having the holidays at our house because there is so much room. So tell people you are working on building a soccer team or a baseball team and do they have a problem with that?

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mmdd Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 2:21am
post #12 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by ddog

I have heard lots of jokes, lots of glad its you and not me, and very few congratulations. So, do any of you have any great come backs for all these comments. I really am getting sick of it.
thanks for listening, and if you think I'm nuts for having four kids please don't tell me icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif, DOnna





1st Congratulations!!!

2nd I don't think you're crazy at all!!!

3rd comebacks: well it takes a real woman to be a mother (that was harsh huh?)

<lets go nicer> Your kids are glad its me and not you too (still not very nice huh?)

<i'm trying to be nice here> how about a comeback to really throw them off: why thank you, I'm very thrilled to be such a great mother to be blessed with a 4th child on the way.








Seriously, though.....don't feel that you have to take their rudeness at all. Be very open & blunt towards them. (afterwards u can blame it on the hormones, lol) But, before you say anything back.....are you sure they're meaning it in a mean way?




You said you have 3 girls, right? R u wanting a boy this time?

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mkolmar Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 3:09am
post #13 of 30

congrats! I have 4 little ones myself ages, 6, 4, soon to be 3 and 1. I heard every joke, concern and Nasty comment you could. I also take all my kids to the store and people just stair at me like some freak. I don't care, when people are rude I just smile and say a remark to make them think for a while about what they just said. You can do this and you're not crazy. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. There are days I just want to run away and then one will make me laugh and I thank God he blessed me with 4 little people to love. you are truelly blessed and remember the days are long, but the years are short.

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lakecountrymommy Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 3:48am
post #14 of 30

next time someone says,"Glad it's you and not me" say..."ME TOO"

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cupcake Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 5:58am
post #15 of 30

We have 8 children, 11 grandchildren with one on the way, and 1 great-grandchild and one on the way. I was always teased and asked did I not know what was causing it. I can't imagine what my like would have been like with one or 2. Having so many kept me young at heart. I never had alot of time for myself, but managed to keep things pretty organized, I think that is crucial. We just had a 40th birthday for my oldest, and the sisters put together a beautiful DVD presentation of her life, that included so many memories. The kids say, mom look at all the lives you have brought into this world and how great we all are. Nothing could be any better for a mother to hear. Enjoy your children, and the next time some-one makes a smart comment, say.... yes you are right I have 4 kids and I am setting myself up for having plenty of love around me until the day I die.

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m0use Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 5:40pm
post #16 of 30

I wanna a baby! icon_cry.gif
I just have one right now...and growing up as an only child can be lonely at times.
My husband came from a family of three kids, I was happy to marry into a larger family.
We are looking at expanding our family after my husband is done with school.

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Momof4luvscakes Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 5:57pm
post #17 of 30

I also have a pretty big family and I love it. I have a stepdaughter who is 23, daughter 10, daughter 8, daughter 5, daughter 6 months. The dog is a girl, and the cat is a girl. I always get "Your poor husband". He would not have it any other way. It used to be crazy when I worked, but after this last one I decided to stay home and it is wonderful! Good luck on the new addition to your family!

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MainCake Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 6:40pm
post #18 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissT

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! How about when they say better you than me you reply "that's what my kids thinks too!!" icon_lol.gif




That's an awesome response!! I love it. thumbs_up.gif

Congratulations on your fourth blessing. I only have one child. I always wanted 3 kids but my husband had two already so we decided we would only have 1 together. I'm okay with that. We wanted to make sure we can provide for all of our children and so that's why we are only having one together. I feel incredibly lucky to have my son and though I sometimes wish I could experience pregnancy and having a newborn baby again, I know it's what is best for us. Anyway, congratulations, enjoy and next time someone makes that comment, just smile and reply with MissT's reponse.

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ch0psuey Posted 4 Aug 2006 , 8:05pm
post #19 of 30

One of five here (four girls and one boy). I can't imagine having less than four (although that may change when I actually start having them)! Mom has 11 brothers and sisters and Dad has five. We like kids.

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Pootchi Posted 5 Aug 2006 , 3:05pm
post #20 of 30

First of all I must say: I'M SO JEALOUS!!!!!! I always wanted 4 children, but I was blessed with three. It's all because I have a DH that's not patient enough for three, so imagine 4 icon_eek.gif Congratulations!!!!
I'm sending boy thoughts to you!!!!!

thumbs_up.gif thumbs_up.gif thumbs_up.gif thumbs_up.gif

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stylishbite Posted 5 Aug 2006 , 4:30pm
post #21 of 30

CONGRATULATIONS!
comebacks
1. I'm so lucky, God has blessed me 4 times! How about you?
2. 4 kids to split the cost of a NICER nursing home for us.
3. I'm glad it's not you too, that would mean you slept with my husband icon_lol.gif I don't care who ya r that wus funny right there. thumbs_up.gif
4. I'm glad their close in age, they can all share 1 car.
5. I'm glad it's me too. I will have 4 extra helpers on Sat. to help clean the house, take out the trash , fix dinner, and 4 big hugs and kisses every night.

I'm adopting my 4 child, hopefully by early next year. Mine are 15 (girl)-almost 16 icon_cry.gif 13 (girl) 10 (boy) New baby (girl) will 9mos to 22 mos. not sure. I'll have one in collage and one in pre school icon_biggrin.gif And I love it. God has blessed always. No I don't know how we will aford it, but we've made it this far. It always seems to work out.
Good Luck!

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ddog Posted 5 Aug 2006 , 5:36pm
post #22 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by stylishbite


3. I'm glad it's not you too, that would mean you slept with my husband icon_lol.gif I don't care who ya r that wus funny right there. thumbs_up.gif




THAT is SO SO funny!!!! icon_lol.gif icon_lol.gif
i'm still laughing!

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dolcesunshine20 Posted 5 Aug 2006 , 9:00pm
post #23 of 30

I'm from a family of 7 girls! I honestly would have missed so much growing up if there had been only 2 of us. My sisters are my best friends and now that I'm married, I really miss them. When I go to visit, they all want to talk to me at one time! It can be crazy sometimes, but it makes me feel good that they miss me and want me to share in what's going on in their lives. My husband is from a family of 6 boys and 2 girls. I don't think we want our family to be quite as big as what we came from, but we do want to have a family some day....we've talked about 4 kids. Congratulations on your newest!

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calla74 Posted 6 Aug 2006 , 1:08pm
post #24 of 30

Congratulations!

I only have three but I do remember all of the rude comments. Especially since we had a boy and a girl before having our third. I remember the first time someone said "but you already have one boy and one girl so why do you need another?" I was stunned! I never did get a good comeback. It seems like what is considered large these days is so different from what was big a few decades ago. Now it seems like any more than one and you get stares!

Congrats again!

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Pootchi Posted 6 Aug 2006 , 1:18pm
post #25 of 30

Calla I feel you about that!
I had a boy and a girl when I got pregnant with my third also. And the first comment I had was: it must've been an accident, not a planned pregnancy. icon_confused.gif I asked the lady: why is it so strange to want more kids?

people sometimes!!!!

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m0use Posted 6 Aug 2006 , 1:24pm
post #26 of 30

It's interesting how society views have changed with the times....30-50 years ago, have 10+ kids was not uncommon. Even if things were tight the kids were fed and were happy!
Now when people have that many kids they are looked upon as heros or just plain crazy.
I would love to have more kids..but time and money do not permit as such right now.

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mariak Posted 7 Aug 2006 , 4:41pm
post #27 of 30

I can totally relate. I just found out I am pregnant with my seventh. My husband and I both can't get over how rude some people can be. We always get the comments like,Are all of them yours? or when I am by myself with them I get, Do they all have the same father? I have people ask me, Don't you know how to keep that from happening? I think that all of my children are a blessing and yes they can be a handful, their ages are 8,7,5,2 and 1 but they are our kids and we take care of them so I don't understand why some people get so upset that we have so many. We had a little boy who would have been four but he passed away two years ago. After he died their were some people that told my friend that we had to many for me to handle anyway so it was probably a good thing. icon_surprised.gif If I could have found that lady she would not have the use of her arms and legs. I had all five boys before I had my litle girl so that was the only reason people could understand it, I as trying for a girl . With this pregnancy I think people are going to think I am crazy and some kind of extremist. When we go to resturants with all of the kids I feel like we are the show that comes with the dinner. People count the kids when we come in and then just watch us waiting for our kids to misbehave so they can say, See they shouldn't have all of those kids they can't control them. My kids are usually good in public but there is always that one time when you just want to crawl under a rock because of something they do. I have a problem with comebacks for people too because I have a problem with being rude even if the other person was rude first. I just smile and keep walking. Oh and this baby will be that 75th grandchild for my husband's parents. He is the youngest of eleven, Christmas is unreal!

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BeckySue Posted 7 Aug 2006 , 8:51pm
post #28 of 30

You shouldn't worry about other people, if you want 100 kids that is your business and no one else's.
Let me tell ya a little thing about big families. I am the 4th of 5 kids and my husband is the 9th of 12!! We were literally married for 3 years before I met all his brothers and sisters. LOL We have three kids, and my brothers and sisters in law have a ton. My husband has a brother with 9, a sister with 7, ect... (11 of the 12 kids are married and 10 of them have AT LEAST 2 kids....) We had a family reunion with them in July and we counted all the people there... are you ready? 25 Adults and 46 kids. Holidays are insane, but so much fun! Big families bring big fun, and big love - so don't stress, ENJOY!!

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lotsoftots Posted 8 Aug 2006 , 6:36pm
post #29 of 30

I have 6 kids and have had more than enough idiotic comments. My stock response is "Oh my goodness! You must be SO embarrassed for making such a rude comment! I feel so bad for you! Time to brush up on manners! Yikes!" and that will shut anybody up.

Good luck, it will all be fine.

Edited for spelling

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ddog Posted 8 Aug 2006 , 6:41pm
post #30 of 30

thank you all so much for all your kind responses. I never expected to get so many, but I have had so much fun reading them. ya'll are great! you're making me feel better and better!
thank you, donna

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