You know your time is valuable, but does anyone else? I am tired of my MIL implying that I am UNEMPLOYED!!! Yes, I am a SAHM, but I am raising my son! (NO offense to anyone who works outside the home. I have complete respect for both sides of the coin!!) On top of that I am running a successful cake business, even if it IS out of my home!! It's a LEGIT money making business! ERGH! Anyway, DH sent me this email today... gotta love him!!!
"Sweetie - Trot this one out the next time my mom starts ragging...
Stay-at-home mom's work worth $138,095!
Read more at the following link...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18466753/from/ET/ "
He is TOO cute!
http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/htmls/mswl_momcenter.html
this one will let you calculate your mom salary based upon your area and will write a check for you too.
I read that to my husband this morning and he said, "Honey, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you off...."
He was just kidding of course, he's totally supportive and appreciative of me.
I'm glad to see an article that points out to others that us stay at home moms actually ARE doing something!!!!
Shelle
I too get so sick of hearing, well you stay home so you should have plenty of time to do this or that. My job is full time and it doesn't stop when I leave the office like other jobs. I get little breaks like right now but other than that its full time, full speed ahead.
Thanks Melvira!!!
Of course, that's implying that if you don't have kids, you don't do laundry, don't cook, don't clean house, etc.... that, or they don't "say" what you are "saving" by doing it all yourself...
Plus, working Mommies still "earn" nearly $90,000 PLUS their annual salary from the paying job.... I'll take that to mean that working around your house period "earns" money... so, if you don't have kids and work outside the home, but have to maintain your home... what would you guess that's worth? $60,000?
My husband is a researcher, so every time I see something like this I realize it's soo... well... bogus research. It's main purpose is to say, "hey, SAHMs your job is hard and worth a lot." Other than that, it's pretty useless.. I don't even bother telling dh ,"See, I'm valuable" because he would tear the study all apart... party pooper (which is what I'm doing right now to you all I guess! )
What's getting my goat is that DH thinks hiring someone to come in and clean for us once a week is going to eliminate a lot of my "work" when I go back to work in the next few months - he's so darn clueless.... There's still homework, daily cleaning, cooking, getting kids ready for school and daycare (new work being added) PLUS getting myself ready daily, and such...
Basically, someone to run teh vacuum around and mop the floors and clean the bathrooms for me once a week... Um... that's like the LEAST of my "work"...
Melissa
My generation you were made to feel like a freeloader if you didn't work. So I did worked the whole time my children were growing up.
As long as there is a roof and food the material things in life is not worth missing the time with your children.
Trust me working is one of my biggest regrets in my life. I didn't need to my husband always made good money.
I'm older and wiser now I wouldn't let anyone offend me with my decisions. Sorry, but if that was my MIL I would, in a nice way, put her in her place. If that didn't work then I would have to tell her 
. I think you get my dref.
If I was only this wise at 23 I would have ruled the world 
Don't ever feel you have to defend yourself to anyone. They have a problem with the way you chose to live your life then they .
I had a friend who finally gave me permission to say NO when people where constantly asking me to do things! She said "You do have a full time job!" Let me tell you that was so freeing! I just think about all the moms who have to/ want to work outside the home and think how busy they must be so I just kept saying ikay I can do that......whatever! Now I feel the freedom to sometimes say no I am sorry I am too busy right now.
What's getting my goat is that DH thinks hiring someone to come in and clean for us once a week is going to eliminate a lot of my "work" when I go back to work in the next few months - he's so darn clueless.... There's still homework, daily cleaning, cooking, getting kids ready for school and daycare (new work being added) PLUS getting myself ready daily, and such...
Melissa
Take a 1 week vacation with your girlfriends and he will have a much greater appreciation for you when you return home. If there is still any attitude left after this............take another week! Sure cure!
I believe it, Mel!!! I'm a SAHM of three, and we all cram ourselves (an my cakes) into a small 3bd ONE BATHROOM house! And with 3 boys (2 DS and my DH) I have to clean the one little bathroom almost daily if my DD and myself dare venture into it. (Bleck!!!) And of course the 2 1/2 year old always seems to mess quicker than I can clean it up! Add to that the disaster my weekly caking creates....I know I'm worth a lot!
My generation you were made to feel like a freeloader if you didn't work. So I did worked the whole time my children were growing up.
As long as there is a roof and food the material things in life is not worth missing the time with your children.
Trust me working is one of my biggest regrets in my life. I didn't need to my husband always made good money.
I'm older and wiser now I wouldn't let anyone offend me with my decisions. Sorry, but if that was my MIL I would, in a nice way, put her in her place. If that didn't work then I would have to tell her
. I think you get my dref.If I was only this wise at 23 I would have ruled the world
Don't ever feel you have to defend yourself to anyone. They have a problem with the way you chose to live your life then they
.
This is ONE thing that my MIL is pretty good about. I think if Sven had a short work day or if I did, she would think working and raising kids is good because she did it and so did her sister, but... She was home by 3 pm every day. She sees here that parents aren't getting home until 7 pm with commutes. I think it TOTALLY helps that DHs two cousin's wives also stay at home.
It is REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hard to juggle work and home. I did it before and I'm REALLY not excited about going back to work soon...ugh.
I am even a little mad/frustrated with DH. If we lived almost anywhere else (besides Boston, NYC, LA, etc), I could stay at home until Henry started school. I could stay home if he went to private sector (which he could easily do), but he likes his gov't job that pays crap. (If people only REALIZED that people doing high gov't jobs are getting paid WAY less than they would if they worked elsewhere - WAY less - it's a HUGE sacrifice for judges, congressmen, senators, etc.) I'm not really mad at HIM, but the situation... if that makes sense... this time with him is VALUABLE... but we can't afford it...
Melissa
I am right there with you ladies, I have been a SAHM for 22 going on 23 years. Since the birth of my first child, I have run a successful daycare in my home for 21 years, and have always felt like people think of me as "JUST" a SAHM, if you know what I mean, no brain etc. Well, I am here to tell you I wouldn't trade those years with my kids for all the money, material things in the world. So my hat goes off to all SAHM and I say you are the best and wisest for doing so. I am not saying anything against working mothers, please don't get me wrong but I do believe if it is feasible be with your kids as long as you can, sometimes you have to give up a little to have a lot.
I thought the figure they put out there was low. I had to get out of the SAHM business because I couldn't handle it. I was too young. Now that I'm older, I'm sorry that I didn't stick it out and figure it out, but that's water under the bridge now. Anyone who can stay home, keep on top of all of the work that goes on inside that "company" and deal with all of the "employees" - that you have to keep whether they pull their weight or not - be available 24/7, know where each person is, when they left and when they'll return, entertain countless people of various ages/maturity levels, keep the main office presentable at all times and well stocked of anything anyones heart might desire and stick to a budget, no matter what "emergency" might come - is more valuable than any amount of money. Stay at homes are rulers of the world - our children need a parent (Biblically the mom) to raise them in this crazy world.
I wish I could count myself among the SAHM team, but it was not to be and my youngest graduates hs next month.
God bless the SAHM.
I am not a SAHM because I am single. But if I were married and my husbands income would support me not working and allowing me to pursue my dream of being an "home based entreprenuer" you better believe that I would be a "SAHM". As long as there is no pressure on him and the bills are caught up, so be it. Plus you have your successful cake decorating business.
Please, no offense to anyone
I often look at the adult generation of today they are so different. They seem to be more self-centered and lack family values. I sometimes wonder if it's because they grew up in the age where almost every Mother worked and if they didn't people looked at them as being lazy.
berry, you mentioned that your MIL felt she did it. Iv'e noticed some women in that age group are bitter because they were made to feel like they had to go out and work and they resent the SAHM's of today.
Some women are better Mothers if they work, or they have to help support the family. Whatever a Woman choses she should not have to defend herself.
It really makes me sad for kids that never get to be in a "family" really. Parents are gone (in my area at least) from 7 am to 6 pm. (or 8 am to 7 pm) typically. So for 11 hours, they are in school, daycare, or someone is watching them. They still need 9-11 hours of sleep (depending on their age)... So, they have 2 - 4 hours a DAY with a parent and that doens't incldue the time parents are getting dinner ready or the kids ready in the morning... MAYBE, MAYBE 1-2 hours a day (depending on the age of the kid) is spent as family time.
Weekends are crammed full of activities and getting all the work done that wasn't done during the week. Another of DHs great ideas is to cook most of the meals on the weekend for the week.. Well, this is good to a degree, but... it means now I lose more time on weekends and STILL have to reheat/prepare veggies during the week... he's never here when I do all that, so he has NO CLUE....
I'm going to start hyperventilating thinking about going back to work...
Melissa
we made the decision for me to stay home after i was pregnant with my second child. the cost of daycare would have taken most of my income. i dont regret a single minute..it sure hasnt been easy, but i can see my daughters have become well adjusted, polite teens. On top of that I homeschool and do cakes and daycare for a friend of ours. my husband wonders why i'm so tired..but i am up most days by 7am if not earlier and not in bed until 11 or 1130. that's 16 hours x 7 days a week 112 hours a week.
ive heard comments from his family: why doesnt she work to help him out? why can't she get a job? i can get a job if i wanted to.
help him out? im helping raise our children and educate them as well as housekeeping, cooking, cleaning, nurse, mediator, personal shopper..gee im tired just writing this hahahaha
whether moms work outside the home or inside the home..its WORK. we're all underpaid!!
I'm not even a mom, but someone asked me the other day if I was "still unemployed." I smiled sweetly and said "I didn't think working for myself was considered being unemployed." [smile pretty, bat eyes...]
I am a SAHM of 4 (2-7). I use to hear it all the time from my SILs who all work. One day I kind of lost it & they got an earful (probably should have bit my tongue) but I haven't heard anything negative (well about this subject anyways) since. You have to just know that you are doing what you feel is best for your family. My hubby appreciates me & I know I don't want my kids in daycare so I let it all just roll off my back. Just ignore them!
Have a good day! 
buy yourself a vacu seal, every time you make a meal, double it and freeze in individual servings. You will have meals ready when you need, just pop in micro wave or pot of boiling water. I do this cause even tho I don't work outside the home now there are days I just don't feel like cooking or grandchildren don't want what everyone else is eating.
I am a SAHM, and a WAHM(work at home mom). I can definately relate to the your home all day and dont work thing. I chose to stay home when my DD was born. I was a SAHM for 2 1/2 years before finding a reputable company that actually has at home postitions. I have been working from home for 9 1/2 years now but still get the "your home all day can you do this of that?". In my situation people dont realize that I have to clean, cook, run the taxi, and do work that is due back the next day. Alot of the time I put off the work and stay up all night to get it done. LOL Leaving me exhausted only to get up after 3 hours of sleep to do it again. LOL ONE time my DH said you dont go out of the house to work so you cant really say it is a real job........until I got my W-2. That shut him up really quick. LOL Now, if I can get a pay check for my other duties I would be a rich woman. I dont mind helping out people when I can but sometimes people just dont understand.
Hooo boy! Did this topic ever hit home for me! I am a SAHM of two. My son has C.P. and my daughter is asthmatic/bi-polar. I am also divorced w/ no emotional support from their father. I make money from the sale of cake and strict budgeting of the kids' money. I never borrow from anyone and have everything done and paid for on time... Despite all this, I still had my ex in-laws balking at me to work. Incredible!!! 
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