These are SO funny! When my son was 6 or 7, we were driving into town. Out of the blue, he asked me if cows were endangered. I said, No, why honey? He said, cuz all the signs say "eat more chicken" I laughed so hard! In case any of you haven't seen them, he was talking about the Chik-fil-a billboards.
The next time I was at Chik-fil-a I told the manager, and he gave me a plush cow for him. He also asked me to email him the story, so it may end up on a bilboard somewhere....I haven't seen it yet though.LOL

Potty training my 2-3 year nephew was very hard. When they finally got him to "accidentally" do number 2 on the potty it scared him for some reason. He would go a week without doing #2 and they were quite worried. One day they had him sitting on the potty and he passed gas. His mom said "see Kyle that's your butt telling you you need to go". He quickly stood up, spread his legs, bent over with his head as far between his legs as he could get it and said "shut up butt, don't say nuffin else!".

lmao justtoeatcake!! thats hilarious!! hahaha

OMG!!! These are soooo funny! I love hearing things that children say.

One day, my youngest nephew, 4 at the time, asked my sister, not his mother, "Roo roo, how are babies made?" My poor sister was mortified! She asked him "What do you mean Matthew?" And bless his little heart, he says "Like, do they have guts and stuff?" Rule #1 make sure you are answering the real question.

This same nephew did not like pickles or mustard and when he was angry with his brother he would call him a "pickle head with mutard"

These are so funny!

One day when my daughter was about 4, we were getting ready to go out to dinner, and she apparently had a sudden attack of conscience. She just started bawling & sobbing for no apparent reason. We rushed into the room and asked her what was wrong. Still sobbing, she managed to choke out "I really love the chicken nuggets at (restaurant), but I feel bad for the chickens!". She didn't eat chicken for about a month, but then her taste buds over-ruled her conscience.

Just last month, my now 14 yo daughter was asking me about something she had heard the stupid boys saying about their "balls dropping" and what it meant. While we were discussing it, my 7 yo son pipes up and says "I don't think we should be talking about this in front of Blackie (our cat)". I ask why, and he says "Because Blackie doesn't have his anymore!" Blackie just happens to be a neutered male, and Aidan didn't want him to be embarrassed, LOL!

Another one when my daughter was about 4. We had an ant problem, and I was putting out bait and she wanted to know how it worked. I explained that it is sweet and the ants think it's food, and don't know it has poison in it. She says "Shh! They can hear you!" I had to explain that ants don't speak English, so the secret was safe, LOL!

I am crying over here, these are hysterical. I do not have children of my own but kids say funny things in school.

Yesterday in during a writing lesson I had read the students a book about Barack Obama. (1st grade mind you) So, I am summarizing the book and we are organizing the details on the board, I am trying to explain that President
Obama is the first African American President and how wonderful that it etc. A little girl raises her hand and asks me "how is he brown if his mom is white?", the assistant in my room (who is black) laughs and we told her to ask her mom when she got home.

All of these stories are SO funny! I have twin 3 yr-olds (a boy and a girl) and have realized that having children means surrendering your dignity!

They were acting up the other day and I finally got really frustrated and said, "Geez, how many times do I have to say it?!?!?"
My daughter raised her little fingers in the air and announced, "TWO!"

My kids just potty trained the first of the year. While they were working on it, we used to tell my son to "tuck his wee wee in". Every time his sister got on hte potty he would tell her, "Tuck your wee wee in, Sissy!"

And, finally, a story of public parental embarrassment. Let me preface by saying that it is usually at the moments when I think I am being most genius that the kids knock me down a peg.

My kids don't like public restrooms, even the family ones with only one toilet. The loud noise of the flushing scares them. We were in the store the other day and my son was in my cart when he announced he had to go potty. So off we go to the family restroom. When we get in there, he refused to go. Thinking to set his mind at ease, I say, "How about if Mommy goes first?" I don't really need to, but I'm going to take one for the team here.

I go thru the whole potty thing and before the sensor reacts I tell him that the potty knows I went pee pee and now it will go WHOOSH and flush the pee pee away. He still refuses to go and we leave the restroom.

We don't make it ten feet before my son proceeds to tell me (in a voice that spans 6 aisles). "Mommy, you went pee pee in the potty and it went WHOOSH!" He says it at least a half dozen times before I can get him to stop. I DIDN"T EVEN HAVE TO GO!!!!

Momma said there'd be days like this....she just didn't mention there'd be so many of them!

These stories have made my day-I'm still laughing.
I'll add a couple myself to repay the favor, I hope.

I was talking to my DIL on the phone the other night when my 2 1/2 yo granddaughter wanted to talk to me. What I heard was "GranDo, I got boobies all over me today.
Her mother got the phone back and said, "boo-boos, she has boo-boos all over her."

A friend lives in a tiny rural community. Her husband owns a backhoe that he uses on his farm, and he is also called into service at the local cemetery if there is to be a burial. My friend took her son to watch daddy work one day at the cemetery. This of course led to a discussion of death and what the cemetery was used for. My friend told her son that when someone died, Daddy dug a hole, and the body went in the ground, but Jesus would come and get them and take them to heaven.
He pondered this a while, and finally understood it (or so he thought) when he said, "Wow! Jesus has a backhoe, too?"

These stories have me cracking up, especially the front butt one!

When my dd was 2-3yrs old. Anytime we went anywhere and someone told her she was cute and asked what her name was, she would say "meow". she wouldn't say anything else, she just gave them a real serious look.

DD is now 5. My BIL was living with us for a while. My dd makes references about things we are going to go do, and includes her uncle in these things because he lives with us. I explained to her that he was welcome to do things with us but he wasn't always going to live with us, so he may miss out on some things.
He came walking through one day and i hear her say "MY mom said...you're not gonna live here forever"

my youngest daughter is horrible at remembering names for things.

We were at a restuarant one evening and she didn't want to have the build your own pasta like everyone else. She wanted what she had had last time. I asked her what that was? She said you know. The crust the cheese and the crust? What?
We struggled for over ten minutes with me guessing everything I could think of. And her repeating the crust the cheese and the crust?

GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH
Gotta love her!!

That's cute!
When my sister was about 5 my mother asked her what she wanted for breakfast. She said "round flat things with that stuff."
She meant pancakes and syrup.


My dd asked me at dinner one night for more fluff (stuffing)

I am close to 40. One day just a few years ago, my friend's daughter (then 10)was admiring the new shirt I was wearing. She had been used to acquiring hand-me-downs from her older siblings. She looked me with a sweet smile and asked if she could have it when I outgrew it...

One day I was driving and I had another friend's two daughters in my car. At the time, my automatic windows had stopped working except for the one on the front passenger side. The youngest (then 3) asked me if I would roll her window down. I told her I couldn't, it was broken. She then asked me if I would roll my window down. I explained to her that my windows did not work and that the only one which would roll down was the one in the front where her sissy was sitting. The conversation then went like this:
"Well, fix it." "I can't, I don't know how." "Then get your Daddy to fix it." " He tried but he didn't know how either." "Did you ask Jesus? He can fix anything!"

Last year we were driving to California for BIL's wedding. We decided to travel through the night so the kids could just sleep through the trip. We had just crossed the Nevada border and stopped for gas in Mesquite. The bright flashing lights everywhere woke the kids up and the following conversation occurred with DD:

DD: Mom, (with wide eyes) what country is *this*?

Me: This isn't another country it's another state. We're in Nevada.

DD: (pause) It's WEIRD!

My 5 yr old son told me he wanted to have a "boobie touching contest" with me.

Absolutely! When are at the mall and pass the bra department, if I let him get too close to the bras, he will go around grabbing the cups. It is quite cute.

My sister was talking about going to Miami for a few days...my nephew was around 5 at the time. One day he asks...Mom, are you still going to YOUR-ami...He had been hearing her say, MY-ami, instead of Miami, LOL!

My other nephew got in trouble at school when he was around 8...of course he was on restriction after...mainly not seeing friends. I was watching him and let him know that it was going to be like prison...after my lecture was over about the things he wasn't going to have the freedom to do...he says, "If this is like prison, shouldn't I get my one phone call"...I laughed sooo hard and let him make one short call to a friend.

We were at Walmart on Tuesday when two men holding hands walk by us, one resting his head on the other's shoulder...

my 4 yr old daughter smiles at them and says:
"Mom, those two men are married and that's ok...they're in love!"

I am so proud of her!

FlourPots, I laughed so hard when I read your post, when I was little my dad used to watch the show Miami Vice, I would say "Daddy are you watching your-ami vice?" haha!