Kids Say The Darndest Things...

Lounge By shelbur10 Updated 13 Mar 2010 , 11:19pm by FlourPots

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frog80 Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 12:34am
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Mocakes, that is toooo funny!!! My oldest is named Grant and we haven't yet come into that fighting stage as my youngest, Tucker, is only 1, but I know that those days are comming.

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Zmama Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 12:40am
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We are trying to teach out newly 5 y/o modesty. Sitting in a dress, keeping her shirt on, etc, etc

I explained that she has to wear a shirt under her new princess dress because it's too big for her. "But Mom, I'm wearing a dress!" "Yes, but it's too big and falls and you show your pinks. Girls can't show their pinks." (Already tried other words, but being flat as any 5 y/o, it didn't work.)

A couple days later we were going to go on a date, and I tried on a low cut shirt. All of a sudden she jumps on the bed so she can reach to tug my shirt up! What the heck? "Mom, you need to wear a shirt under that. It almost shows your pinks!"

If only my pinks were that high! icon_lol.gif

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shelbur10 Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 1:17am
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My 4 yo son told me tonight that he would hate me for 6 months. He was mad because I making him do his homework (the HORROR). I told him that was too long to hate mommy. He said, okay, 2 months. I said, well go ahead and hate me, but remember your birthday is next week. He very quickly said, "Okay, I'll only hate you for 6 days!"

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NikkiDoc Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 1:37am
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Olivia is a handful let me tell you. Once we were eating out and the waitress was asking Olivia her name, how old she was, etc. Olivia said "I'm Olivia, I'm two and I'm a handful". (I guess she had heard it so much she thought it was part of her "description"!)

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Momof3boys Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 4:29am
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Omg. These are too funny!!!

When my middle son was about 2 (he's 7 now) I had bought a decorative Christmas mailbox (the kind you would put on a shelf). He asked me what is was for and I told him to put your letters to Santa in it. So he proceeded to put his alphabet magnetic letters in it. Puzzled I asked him what he was doing and he said "I'm putting in my letters to Santa". I'll never forget that!!

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Tug Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 4:39am
post #66 of 116

My girlfriend told me a story about her son who is 2½. She was getting out of the shower one day and he came running in. He looked at her very concerned and said, "mommy, where's yours?". She calmly replied, "sweetie I'm a girl, I don't have one of those". To which he responded, "don't worry mommy, I'll buy you a red one for Christmas". Then he ran off to play. icon_lol.gif

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Momof3boys Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 5:10am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tug

My girlfriend told me a story about her son who is 2½. She was getting out of the shower one day and he came running in. He looked at her very concerned and said, "mommy, where's yours?". She calmly replied, "sweetie I'm a girl, I don't have one of those". To which he responded, "don't worry mommy, I'll buy you a red one for Christmas". Then he ran off to play. icon_lol.gif




LOL. My middle one told me "Don't worry mommy, yours will grow". icon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gif

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tinascakes Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 5:18am
post #68 of 116

I have never laughed so much and boy did I need it!!!
When my DD was 2 or 3, she was sitting on the couch next to her dad and he passed gas. She looked at my so seriously and said "I think dad just pooped on the couch."

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Eliza Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 8:25am
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When my oldest was 5, she asked me to print out colouring pictures (cowboys and princess) for her. Then she wanted to make puppets with it I pasted it to pencils for her. That evening she put up a puppet show for us. She hold up the cowboy and said "A long time ago" and my DH said "Joseph and Mary's child Jesus Christ was born in Bethelem as the Holy Bible say." She looked at him and then said "And He was a Cowboy!!".

My youngest was in the bath and our dog was peeping into the bath. Little one put water on the dog's head and said "Annie, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the.............. Mommy and Daddy!".

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mocakes Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 1:41pm
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These are hilarious!! icon_lol.gif

One of the best gifts I ever got was from a sweet older lady who was our neighbor. When our first son was born she bought me a blank journal book and told me to write stories about my kids in it. She said, "As much as you think you will remember all the funny stuff, you won't!"

I am so glad I took her advice! Every now and then the kids will ask to read "their funny book". We'll sit down and read what I wrote and we all get a good laugh!

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jules06 Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 2:09pm
post #71 of 116

These are all funny stories - here's my contribution...
I was in the shower one time,heavily pregnant with my 2nd ,when my 5 yr old came in & after watching me for a minute or 2, told me he could see the babys' hair... !!!! icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif

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strawberry0121 Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 4:21pm
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Wow, where to begin!

A few years ago, I had a Tupperware party. They had a game that you get points for answering questions. One of them was that you get one point for each tatoo you have. My parents didn't know that I HAD a tatoo (even though I'd had it for about 7 years) and my DD yells out, Mama gets one point!

My mother looked at me and looked like she was going to puke!!! OMG!!! I was SO horrified!!!!

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jessireb Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 4:54pm
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Here's another one I just couldn't resist.

Well my now 18 year old was singing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and I don't even know why we asked her but we asked her who the most famous Reindeer of all was and she said "Do You Recall" Just like the song says - "Do you recall, the most famous Reindeer of all". Well needless to say everytime we hear the song my husband and I always look at each other and laugh.

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doescakestoo Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 5:17pm
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I am a Wilton instructor, I am also raising my grandson. Well one night his papa was late coming home and I had to take him to class. Asked students if they had any problems with it and they said no. If they did I would had to postpone class. Well we were doing the C3 where we do the ruffle border. I was telling the students the process "Up down slide" Well I guess that I said it enough times that my grandson still to this day says "Up down slide" even when he colors. I have had to make a design to include this saying. It goes like this /\\__/\\__. He loves it.

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Peachshortcake Posted 1 Mar 2007 , 6:34pm
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I dont have any kids but at the moment i am taking care of some as an au pair. One day we were doing the frantic get to school morning rush and i was just heading into the toilet room. (the french keep the bathroom and toilet in seperate rooms) The eldest son (icon_cool.gif looked at me very seriously and said something in rapid fire french. I asked the mum for a translation because she had all of the sudden turned very red. Between laughter she managed to translate for me. This is what he said "Please try not to pee on the seat this time and if you do wipe it up". I started laughing and did some quick explaining on why it was impossible for me to pee on the seat.

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MommyBunny Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 5:39pm
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When my daughter was 5, she was in a catholic preschool. They were learning the Hail Mary.

It goes...Hail Mary full of grace, the lord is with thee,blessed our thou among women, blessed is thy fruit of the womb jesus.

She says...Hail Mary full of grace, the lord is with me, blessed our thou among women and blessed the fruit of the loom jesus.

I thought I was going to die laughing in church. Of course father asks me what's so funny after church and I had to tell him.

Morgan, hates this story.

Patricia

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christeena Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 5:54pm
post #77 of 116

One night I was getting ready to go to POTTERY class at a local Clay Artist's Guild and my DS who was about 4 at the time saw me getting ready to go and asked where I was going so I told him I was going to pottery class. He looks up at me with all the sweetness he can muster and asks why I need to go to POTTY class since I was a mom. I thougth I'd die laughing!!

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mbelgard Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 6:16pm
post #78 of 116

Don't let little kids read this post.

My youngest was 3 last Easter and on Easter Sunday his grandpa let him help shoot a gun at a target. As soon as they were done he comes running in the house all happy and tells us "I shotted the Easter Bunny!!!"
Of course he had to tell everyone about it and made a couple of the relatives children cry. icon_redface.gif
Then for about 3 weeks he bragged to everyone he saw about how he shot the Easter bunny. icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif

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adven68 Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 6:48pm
post #79 of 116

Oh my gosh...I could write a million of these...

We had some friends over for dinner and their (then) 6 yr. old girl told my amazingly handsome 6 yr. old son icon_biggrin.gif that she has a crush on him. And he replied: "what?" ....she said "a crush"
he said: "where?"...and she pointed to his chest....and he said: "there?" icon_confused.gif

he had no idea what she was talking about.


another of my favorite phrases is" don't worry, mommy....I'm be-carefulling!!"

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shelbur10 Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 8:27pm
post #80 of 116

When someone is not using their indoor voice, my kids say they're "louding"

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2sdae Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 8:32pm
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My 2 year old calls her front area her "front of the butt" So my grandmother who is very serious and "girls always must be sweet little angels" type comes over the other day and my 2 year old little "angel" grabs grandma "there" and says "that's the front of your butt Nana!" icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_rolleyes.gif I could have died on the spot. My Grandmother just removes her little hand all calm says"yes, dear that's the front and we don't touch the front or the back of your butt, do we?" I cracked up to hear her say the front and back of your butt!!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

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bakincakin Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 8:49pm
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We were heading out West on summer vacation 3 years ago, DS was 6 and DD was 4. They had just finished going to a week of Bible school and had learned a new song. It went to the tune of "We will, We will Rock You". Any way DD kept singing this song over and over and over again. Both DH and I had politely told her she sang nice, but it was time to stop for a while. Well, she decided to start singing it again and DS turned to her and told her very sternly to QUIT singing. She quit, but not before turning to him and saying, very seriously too, "Well you only had to say it, NOT spray it!"

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pieface Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 8:59pm
post #83 of 116

I used to work at a Montessori Preschool...with all ages...6 weeks to 5year olds. I have a MILLION of these stories....

When I got engaged, my co-workers cam to my class to see my ring. One of my students, Isabella walked up and saw the ring and said "He went to Jared." icon_razz.gif

I had a 2year old that loved to point at people...problem was...he used the WRONG finger. icon_surprised.gif

My little sister would kill me...but oh well icon_twisted.gif She's 17 now, but when she was about 2 years old, my uncle came to visit. He had his feet up on the table,realxing...and he has HORRIBLE feet! icon_eek.gif My lil sis walked over to look at them and my uncle started wiggling his big toe and speaking to her in a high pitched voice. She actually thought his toe was alive and talking to her. He named it "Mr.Toe" and everytime he came over, she wanted to talk to "MEETA TOE" We still tease her to this day....especially when she gave Mr.Toe a goodnight kiss!! icon_lol.gif

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lilikoigirl Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 9:01pm
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I love the "front of the butt" story. We had our second child this year, a little girl, and our 3 1/2 year old boy was very confused about their differing anatomy. We could tell he was curious because he would hover and stare at every diaper change. One day, as if a lightbulb had gone off he proclaimed "Mommy, Alice has two butts!!" Whew, I'm glad he figured that one out, J/k. We just played along, not wanting to get into details, for now that explanation works for us, but I can just see him at preschool telling his little friends he has a sister with two butts!!

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2sdae Posted 2 Mar 2007 , 9:04pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilikoigirl

I love the "front of the butt" story. We had our second child this year, a little girl, and our 3 1/2 year old boy was very confused about their differing anatomy. We could tell he was curious because he would hover and stare at every diaper change. One day, as if a lightbulb had gone off he proclaimed "Mommy, Alice has two butts!!" Whew, I'm glad he figured that one out, J/k. We just played along, not wanting to get into details, for now that explanation works for us, but I can just see him at preschool telling his little friends he has a sister with two butts!!



LOL!!!I love it.

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jsmith Posted 4 Mar 2007 , 6:25am
post #86 of 116

When I visited my sister and 3 year old nephew I brought them each a cake. A small firetruck for my nephew and a regular cake for my sister. When we were driving back to their house after shopping all day, my nephew said he wanted to eat his cake. so Jodi teased him and said that his dad and uncle chris had eaten it all. A minute later he said, "mom, dad and uncle chris messed up your cake and then they threw it in the trash." tou chet.

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noahsmummy Posted 9 Mar 2010 , 11:29am
post #87 of 116

lol love thses! i have a 14 month old.. so hes not had any funny moments just yet.. but i looooove the idea of having abook to write down all his "funny moments!" will be one to pull out on his 21st i think... hahahahaha

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Caths_Cakes Posted 9 Mar 2010 , 12:30pm
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i was home alone with my little boy harry, hes 3 and i had to use the toilet, really desperatly, so i told him to wait there ( at the bottom of the stairs) while mommy used the toilet, the loos just at the top of the stairs so i kept the door oepn to keep an eye on him . . at which point the post man walks up the path and knocks on the front door, so harry opens the letter box and shouts through it ' mammys having a poo' i was mortified i could hear the postman laughing as he walked back down the path lmao

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SS385Monte Posted 9 Mar 2010 , 3:09pm
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Love these stories! I was out in the yard one day working on teaching my puppy some new commands. The little girl next door (6 years old) came over with her puppy to join in the training session. If I told my puppy to sit, she told hers to sit. Well, I gave my puppy another command (I don't remember what it was anymore) and he just rolled over and played dead. I called him a goofball and told him to get up....so she called her puppy a gooseball. icon_smile.gif My poor puppy now gets called a gooseball.

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Butterpatty Posted 9 Mar 2010 , 3:29pm
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When my great-nephew was young, he called crocodiles "crackerdolls" and kangaroos were "pinkaroos".

DS hates me to tell this! When he was about 5, I was having a lot of ummm, female problems and when I was grumpy, my husband would roll his eyes and ask if my "monthly" was bothering me yet again. One day I was being really grouchy and my darling little boy looked up at me and so sweetly said, "oh no, are you having your momly AGAIN?"

Another on DS. When he was 3, he went to grocery with his dad. He was being a bit naughty and dear dad thought he would bribe him to behave with promise of his fav snack, a doughnut. DS readily agreed that he could sit still in buggy and behave thru the store. Up and down the aisles they went and when DH reached the bread/snack cake section, he decided to purchase an angel food cake. DS watched as the cake was placed in the cart, then turned to his dad with a worried look and in a horrified tone said , "not one that big dad!!"

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