Wont Be Able To Allow Any Of My Family Near Any Customers!!!
Business By squarepair Updated 4 Apr 2007 , 6:20am by prterrell
I regret that in our family the common name for beef casserole (and it is rather a common and tasteless expression) was 'cowsa**ehole'. Oh dear...
My 4 year old son was so sweet a couple of months ago when I made glazed carrots. He tried it and after he finished gagging he looked at me with watering eyes and said "Your a good cook mom", it was so funny that he did not want to hurt my feelings, needless to say I have not made that dish again.
Through the whole conversation, she kept calling it, "your dumb cakes."
You should have said we prefer to call them "delayed" 
Sounds like a lot of you have family members that are definitely more concerned about hurting your feelings as far as your cooking. I have definitely heard this is horrible or the 4 year old's favorite, " this is yucks"!! More because they don't like it as opposed to my horrible cooking, I think . When my oldest (18 yo boy) was little he always used to tell me I was a "good cooker" 
They grow up tooooooo fast. I really miss him today for some reason, sniff!!!
Kristin
thanks for all of the great laughs reading this thread, anything to get this baby out at this point..... indydebi, my husband would have not only NOT had his teeth, but he might have found his eyeballs swimming... but hey it was funny, gotta give it to him... my stand-up comic DH (aspiring or thinks he is) has had great fun picking on my size 300 feet this 9th month of pregnancy.... and he just laughs at them and makes me feel even worse... why can't men be in our shoes for one 1 year, long enough to have a couple cycles, carry a child, have the child, etc.... I think they would think twice before pointing out our lovely flaws 
ok so funny kiddie out of the mouths of babes... not about food (well solid of course)... my little girl who will be 4 in early April was grocery shopping with me on the base one day... I teetered my 60 foot belly and huge feet over to the baby isle in order to pick up a few needed items prior to my son's birth (which by they way is at the most now 5 days out, thank God!).....I picked up a box of breastmilk storage bags and she was insistent on knowing that they were for... I nicely explained there were for the mommy milk for the baby... she looked at me with the most horrible face and said, but momma are you gonna turn into a COW.... YES SHE DID!!!!! I said well sort of I suppose thinking nothing of it... she began to cry hysterically saying no mommy stay regular....don't be a cow.... you should have see the look of this elderly lady on the same isles face..... and to this day she still asks about my becoming a cow.... needless to say that has been my funny story this month and to make it even more laughable, my 2 sisters decided that the baby swing they would buy for my shower was Navy blue with nothing but COWS... go figure!
When my oldest daughter had just turned 7 she went back to school and had to write a few sentences about her summer vacation. Hers were that she loves going to the lake and eating "Lemon Steak". ?????? 
After a conversation with her, quite a long one I might ad, we came to the conclusion that she meant the filet mignon that my FIL grills for us when we go down to the lake!! I guess she heard us talking about them and heard us say mignon and thought we said lemon!!! To this day everyone in the family calls it lemon steak!!! And boy do we love it!!! lol
ok so funny kiddie out of the mouths of babes... not about food (well solid of course)... my little girl who will be 4 in early April was grocery shopping with me on the base one day... I teetered my 60 foot belly and huge feet over to the baby isle in order to pick up a few needed items prior to my son's birth (which by they way is at the most now 5 days out, thank God!).....I picked up a box of breastmilk storage bags and she was insistent on knowing that they were for... I nicely explained there were for the mommy milk for the baby... she looked at me with the most horrible face and said, but momma are you gonna turn into a COW.... YES SHE DID!!!!! I said well sort of I suppose thinking nothing of it... she began to cry hysterically saying no mommy stay regular....don't be a cow....
ROTFLMBO!!!! that is so so cute!!!
i love these stories.
My grandpa used to love to annoy my grandma so he had a couple foods that he called other things to get her going which was pretty easy because she was so uptight.
He thought the name Grey Poupon was funny so that was his favorite mustard and it never failed to maker her mad when he said he wanted a little "grey poop on" his sandwich.
She also had a hotdish she made that he called "gunky" because he said it looked like it. That stuck so bad that we called it that long after he died.
When she would say she needed molasses for gingerbread or something he would tell her he couldn't understand why she was going to put "mole a$$es" in good food. Again she never failed to get mad about it and to this day that's what I call it.
Ok mbelgard... this one is for you.
A little family of moles is in it's little mole hole. The papa mole sticks his head out of the mole hole and sniffs... "Mama, it smells like honey out here!" Mama mole pops her fluffy little head out next to papa, sniffs, and says, "You're right! It definitely smells like honey! Baby... don't you think it smells like honey?" Poor baby mole can't squeeze in any farther than mama and papa's ample thighs... he sighs and says, all I can smell is mole asses!! (molasses) hehehe. I know... it's bad. Throw the rotten tomatoes at mbelgard... she started it! 
Ok mbelgard... this one is for you.
A little family of moles is in it's little mole hole. The papa mole sticks his head out of the mole hole and sniffs... "Mama, it smells like honey out here!" Mama mole pops her fluffy little head out next to papa, sniffs, and says, "You're right! It definitely smells like honey! Baby... don't you think it smells like honey?" Poor baby mole can't squeeze in any farther than mama and papa's ample thighs... he sighs and says, all I can smell is mole asses!! (molasses) hehehe. I know... it's bad. Throw the rotten tomatoes at mbelgard... she started it!
But you're the one telling bad mole jokes.
That and you just about made me pee my pants.
That's okay today my 8 year old wanted help with his grandpa's neck massager and he told his grandma that he needed help with "grandpa's __________." She told me that I should quit laughing about 5 minutes into my giggle fit.
I'm leaving the actual word to your imagination because I don't want to get in trouble. 
Okay, mbelgard, you just had to go there! Here I am all set to add my anecdote and now it's going to sound stupidly "innocent" after your little tale. 
Anyway, my family has it share of, shall I say, misnomers. Firstly my daughter, 8 years old, usually tells me I'm a good cooker even though I've corrected her for the umpteenth time (now I think she does it just to get my goat, especially since most of the time she doesn't like what I make).
Then there's my husband's aunt whom insists on calling (barbequed) pulled pork "pulley" pork. No matter how much you correct her (we've given up).
And my husband still rolls his eyes when I ask my kids if they want "eggs with the eyes" instead of sunny-side up. That is what my family (grandparents and mom) called them when I was growing up. It was probably one of the tricks they used to get me to eat since I was horrible as a child when it came to eating anything that wasn't sweet.
Can't think of any other ones right now, but I'm sure I'll remember them later. What a great thread!
My sister and I love Ms Vickie's salt and vinegar chips, and apparently so do her two kids(when she comes over with them they all usually end up finishing up my bag of them, lol). She said that my 4 year old nephew asks for the "Winky chips". I laughed and said, "why winky?" and she said, "because when he first sticks them in his mouth he scrunches up his face and blinks (because of the acidity of the vinegar) Now I call them the winky chips, lol.
My mom used to make a casserole called Shipwreck(its funny because I googled it not long ago, and apparently its a canadian thing!), it was layers of sliced potatoes, sometimes with onions, then ground beef, and then covered in a can of tomato soup. Well my brother had another name for it 
It looked like a dish of god help me, and mom always said even though we did nothing but complain everytime she made it that when she would go to get seconds it would be gone!
When my 9 yr. old son was little he would ask for olie-olies when he wanted ravioli.
LOL! My little girl called it abbyrolie!
My friend has a dog that is really cute but she's just not very smart and they always tell her how dumb she is but it doesn't matter because she's so pretty!! So when I do or say something kind of stupid, (which almost never happens!!!! ) DH will say..."oh, you're SSOOOO PRETTY!! "
When my son was little, I would give him horsy rides. Well, this one day, we had been doing this for quite a while and I was very tired, so I stopped and laid on the floor. He kept bouncing on my back saying "Giddy-up!" I told him the horse was tired, but he persisted, so I said the horse was now sleeping, but he kept at it. Finally I said, "The horse is dead." He paused for a second and then excitedly shouted, "GO GO BIG COW!"
To this day, my DH and FIL love to say in under their breath, "Go Go....."
When my son was little, I would give him horsy rides. Well, this one day, we had been doing this for quite a while and I was very tired, so I stopped and laid on the floor. He kept bouncing on my back saying "Giddy-up!" I told him the horse was tired, but he persisted, so I said the horse was now sleeping, but he kept at it. Finally I said, "The horse is dead." He paused for a second and then excitedly shouted, "GO GO BIG COW!"
To this day, my DH and FIL love to say in under their breath, "Go Go....."
I can't wait to repeat this to DH!!!!! ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!
When my son was little, I would give him horsy rides. Well, this one day, we had been doing this for quite a while and I was very tired, so I stopped and laid on the floor. He kept bouncing on my back saying "Giddy-up!" I told him the horse was tired, but he persisted, so I said the horse was now sleeping, but he kept at it. Finally I said, "The horse is dead." He paused for a second and then excitedly shouted, "GO GO BIG COW!"
To this day, my DH and FIL love to say in under their breath, "Go Go....."
Oh, this is hilarious! This has to be one of the cutest threads ever posted. Thanks for sharing. The only contribution I have is that my youngest daughter (3) thinks that every time I make cakes it is for her birthday, so all day long, she sings "Happy Birthday to Me!"
When my son was about 4 we were in a local diner, he wanted a grilled cheese sandwich. When I ordered it he started crying. He thought I had ordered a "girl cheese" sandwich. From that point on, we always had to order "boy cheese" sandwiches for him. Thank goodness we live in a small town!!
My daughter, who is a NATURAL blonde came to me one day asking me what "yon" was. I could not figure it out until she said, "You know mom...Flaming Yon" I almost peed myself laughing...Filet Mignon...that's what she wanted to know about...
OMG, you guys are cracking me up. I think we could publish a book. A Flaming Yon had me ROFL, that could be many possibilities.
I have an embarrassing story myself just slightly different. We were living in Germany and I tried as much as I could to speak German whenever I could or at least make an attempt. Well one problem I seemed to have was pronouncing brot like brat. So one day I was at the bakery and I was trying to order Mull brot or something close to that, well the lady looked at me a little strange and I could tell she was trying to suppress a laugh, so I get home and do some research and realize that the word mull pronounced a certain way means garbage and of course I had screwed up and pronounced brot-bread like brat-kind of hot dog, So what I ordered translated to "Garbage Hot dog" I actually thought she did a pretty good job at not laughing out loud at that, I must have looked so stupid and I know she was thinking "typical American"
Kristin
SweetArt.... glad to see I am not the only cow onboard this thread, hehehehehehe... in fact I went to the store today to buy some more of those special storage bags I spoke of in my last post, without my little Southern Suzie because I just couldn't take the die hard laughing especially since the baby is coming any day now... would rather be in the hospital bed than at the grocery store on an AF base... hehehehehehehe..... kids, gotta love them!
In my house we refer to broccoli as trees. Don't ask me why, but that was the only way I could get my girls to eat it!
Thats what they always called broccoli with us too! But I think they REALLY should have at least ONCE told us the real name....I was in elementary school and we had to write something, maybe about what we had for dinner, and yeah, did I not write "and trees". LOL I didn't know it was called broccoli! I still remember how embarrassed I was when the teacher left a note on my report asking what trees were! (and I am talking this might have been in grade 6!)
Oh yeah, and my dad used to have this saying for when we would say something wasn't fair, "All thats fair is the hair on a baby's butt" so whenever someone would say something wasn't fair, I would happily repeat it (I made him proud! 
). Well apparently it must have come up in class because at a parent-teacher interview the teacher told my parents, "Kristen has been telling us all about what is fair in life" 
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! "Out of the mouths of babes.....!"
I have this one casserole dish that I make very infrequently and here's why.
It was a dish my mom created. When I was growing up, we were poorer than dirt so my mom frequently had to make meals out of whatever she had. This casserole is a can of chicken thrown into a pan of bread that's been torn into pieces, with a cut up onion, and then cover the whole thing in sage. Bake. It kinda tastes like chicken stuffing, with lots of chicken.
Anyway .... when you bake it, the top is crispy but the interior is (to use my husband's word) "Gooey". *I* prefer to call it "moist"! It may sound bad, but it's really good! (Look, when I was a kid, you learned to like mom's creations or you starved!
)Hubby asks me to make my "Chicken Goo". I told him I was NEVER making a dish that he referred to as "Goo". He keeps calling it that. I keep NOT making it.
Men. You'd think they'd figure it out.
Umm, thats what my family calls dressing. My mom boils chicken (usually something with skin that she discards) and she picks it off the bone. She mixes a box stove top stuffing, a pan of cornbread, finely chopped onions and celery, hard boild eggs (she actually boils the onions and celery in the pan with the eggs). She mixes everything together (uses the chicken broth as the liquid) ads some salt and sage. Sage is very important, I cant stress that enough and bakes it. It shouldnt be gooey though. Some people use any kind of bread, but cornbread works the best. Anything other than cornbread will give you dressing that is gooey.
Here's another one from my 9 yr. old. This happened just this past year. He asked me," ya wanna verse me?" I kept asking him to repeat it because I thought maybe I heard him wrong. I guess he got tired of that and got a video game box. It was one of those fighting games my husband plays with him. Every time a match would start on the game it would say something like paul vs. steve. So he thought vs. (versus) was what the game called fighting. I was so relieved! I didn't know what he was asked me to do to him! HEHEHE!
Well, my 1o year old, just yesterday said that since I was so tired most of the time that I looked like the cavemen on those Geico commercials - very, very nice... Later he said, "You know I was kidding, MOm, Right?"
Another funny happened when he was about 3. My husband and I use condoms for birth control and we keep the pack in the beside table (a pretty logical place). Well, my curious son was curious about that drawer one day and opened it and found the box of condoms. He asked me what they were and I told him. He then asked what they are for. Welll, since DH and I believe in telling kids the truth, but age appropriately, I thought for a second and said, "Well, condoms are something big boys like Tata (dad in Croatian) wear some times. When you are a big boy, you will probably wear them too." He seemed satisfied with that answer so I didn't explain any further.
Well, for about two weeks he had this fascination with condoms. He kept asking me, "So, when I'm big like Tata, I can wear condoms." And I would calmly - like it wasn't a big deal to be discussing condom useage with a preschooler, say, "Yes, when are big like Tata you can wear condoms." And he would be satisfied.
Then, one day my son and I were having a special lunch out at Friendly's. When we were there, there was a booth behind us that was another mom with her older son - about 12-13 years old. Well, they were getting up and getting ready to go - putting on coats, etc. My son then asks, "When I'm as big as this boy, can I wear condoms?"
If you could have SEEN the face of the woman and the embarassed look of the boy! Calmly, (and I'm sure quite red faced), I said, "Well, probably not until you are a bigger boy than this boy."
And then, he forgot about them a few days after that... He now knows what they really are (we had a baby when he was almost 9 so a LOT of questions about how to get babies and how to stop babies came up around the time he was 
and when I told him the story of what he did at Friendly's, he got so embarassed for himself! LOL It will be a fun one to tease him about for a LOOOOOOONG time!
Melissa
Well, my 1o year old, just yesterday said that since I was so tired most of the time that I looked like the cavemen on those Geico commercials - very, very nice... Later he said, "You know I was kidding, MOm, Right?"
Another funny happened when he was about 3. My husband and I use condoms for birth control and we keep the pack in the beside table (a pretty logical place). Well, my curious son was curious about that drawer one day and opened it and found the box of condoms. He asked me what they were and I told him. He then asked what they are for. Welll, since DH and I believe in telling kids the truth, but age appropriately, I thought for a second and said, "Well, condoms are something big boys like Tata (dad in Croatian) wear some times. When you are a big boy, you will probably wear them too." He seemed satisfied with that answer so I didn't explain any further.
Well, for about two weeks he had this fascination with condoms. He kept asking me, "So, when I'm big like Tata, I can wear condoms." And I would calmly - like it wasn't a big deal to be discussing condom useage with a preschooler, say, "Yes, when are big like Tata you can wear condoms." And he would be satisfied.
Then, one day my son and I were having a special lunch out at Friendly's. When we were there, there was a booth behind us that was another mom with her older son - about 12-13 years old. Well, they were getting up and getting ready to go - putting on coats, etc. My son then asks, "When I'm as big as this boy, can I wear condoms?"
If you could have SEEN the face of the woman and the embarassed look of the boy! Calmly, (and I'm sure quite red faced), I said, "Well, probably not until you are a bigger boy than this boy."
And then, he forgot about them a few days after that... He now knows what they really are (we had a baby when he was almost 9 so a LOT of questions about how to get babies and how to stop babies came up around the time he was and when I told him the story of what he did at Friendly's, he got so embarassed for himself! LOL It will be a fun one to tease him about for a LOOOOOOONG time!
Melissa
OMG, Melissa that is too funny!!!!! Each of my children have what we call their bribe stories, the one that is so embarrassing that if we ever need to bribe them we will bring up that story!!! Looks like your son has his!!!
Kristin
cncgirl00 wrote:
He asked me," ya wanna verse me?"
OMG!! I am sooo relieved to hear my son is not the only one who says that! We couldn't figure that one out for awhile either!
I teach kickboxing and pilates, and always wear New Balance brand shoes teach my classes , well when my daughter was about 3 she told me she wanted some "teach-class shoes" just like me. So of course I had to go get her some NB shoes just like mine!
A few years ago when DS is about 7, we go to Meramac Caverns, a huge cave system that you can tour here is Missouri. As we are waiting at the entrace of the large cave mouth for the tour, I am explaining to my son that the trees & dirt and grass our above us and that we are underground. His eyes get HUGE, he gets this solomn look on his face and in a whisper says "are we in Hell???" I took everything I had not to laugh, never mind it is about 60 degrees in there. He was so earnest.
A few years ago when DS is about 7, we go to Meramac Caverns, a huge cave system that you can tour here is Missouri. As we are waiting at the entrace of the large cave mouth for the tour, I am explaining to my son that the trees & dirt and grass our above us and that we are underground. His eyes get HUGE, he gets this solomn look on his face and in a whisper says "are we in Hell???" I took everything I had not to laugh, never mind it is about 60 degrees in there. He was so earnest.
LMAO.. tears are rolling down my cheeks.
That reminds me of a year or two ago when I was escorting my baby cousin on a plane from Sacramento, CA to San Diego, CA to visit some family and I was telling her about how we were up in the air and at the same level as the clouds.. she was only about 4 years old and she kept staring out the window with this odd look on her face. Finally I asked her if she wanted to color or have a snack and she turned to look to me and said, "I can't figure out which cloud God lives in!"
I didn't really know how to explain that God doesn't actually live in the clouds, per se, and she went on to stare out the window and say in a very loud voice, "GOD WHERE ARE YOU GOD?" And then ask me, "Do you think he fell out of his cloud?"
I finally told her that Heaven and God were a lot higher than we were and so God was safe in his cloud well above us. It was still hilarious.
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