I am putting this one under disasters because I think it qualifies!!
My sister asked me to make a cake for a coworker of hers who just had a baby. (She works with the new daddy) The intention of the cake was to congratulate him, but to serve it where she works so everyone could have some. The only reason I agreed to this was for the advertising value. She works at a TV station packed with 'local celebrities' that have $$$ to spare, and have elaborate parties that require my upscale goodies. So I did an edible image of the new baby, nothing fancy, but really just so they can all taste my work, and it was good for a 'last minute' cake. (My sis likes to 'surprise me' at the last minute with this crap!)
So, a few days later she comes over and tells me that she forgot she promised one of my cakes to her friend for a party they were having THAT DAY, oh, and by the way... it's a freebie. After I compose myself and make the cake she proceeds to mention that, by the way, the guy that I made the other FREE cake for, yah, he told her he was going to order a baptism cake from me for the baby, but fortunately she showed up with this free one, so he didn't have to!!!!!!!!!!! I was PISSED!! I was more pissed that she didn't say something to him like, "Oh, well, this was intended to share with all your friends here, but I know she'd LOVE it if you ordered the baptism cake from her!" I mean, I know it's his prerogative as to what to do with the 'gift', but it really chapped my @ss!! I told her right then and there, NO MORE FREEBIES. I'll give her a low price on cakes, but it at least has to cover my expenses. I am not doing this to entertain myself!! It would be different if it didn't cost me anything to make these cakes... but we are talking about expensive cakes with high quality fillings like Nutella, etc. Yah, NOT FREE!! I know I could just tell her no when she has these 'ideas', she already owes me over three thousand dollars, (she is a spaz that can't keep a job, oh, and 5 years OLDER than me!!) but, I love her and I just want to try and do little things to make her happy, but I can't continue this!! It's actually screwing me out of legitimate business now, so it has to stop!
Ok, I am done. Sorry for the volcanic erruption here!!
It's amazing what we let family get away with!! I'd have been livid to lose paying orders because Sis is offering your incredible cakes for free. Time to sit her down and do some espalin' as Ricky Ricardo would say!!
Woah....sorry to hear about that! Good to hear that your sister actually LIKES your cakes (as opposed to others on this site), but sorry to hear she thinks they should be free. Perhaps if SHE wants to give them for a gift, that is fine, but she still needs to pay YOU for them. You don't know her friends/co-workers! Good luck! (sorry about the baptism cake too!) BUMMER!
Wow, I'm lost for words. I don't have a problem with charging family for my services. In fact when I made the price list up I made sure they all had one. After I take their request I quote the price of the cake, that way there is no question that I want money!!!!! Sorry this has happen to you.
I would tell Sis from now on any cake ordered from her workplace can be paid for by her and deducted from the three grand she owes you. I'll bet then she tells everyone the price has suddenly gone up. And no cakes without a 2 week notice either.
All of my family cakes are gifts, including wedding cakes because I would spend that much or more on a gift for them, this is more personal and something they will remember. But for their friends I charge full price.
I have this same problem with my family!!! The last four cakes I have done have been free. I just can't do that anymore. The last one took four cakes mixes and I made foundant and spent hours cutting stuff out. I just won't do it any more and I don't think you should either. You hold your ground! (And I'll try and practice what I preach!).
Don't you just love Family! The funny thing is though, no matter how crazy they drive us, or how many times we have a vision of ourselves choking the snot out of them, we still have lots of love for them in our heart. I hope having a nice discussion helps the problem you are having. I have found that some of my family are like my children, they have volume control set up to their ears and conveniently turn it WAY down when I talk. Good luck!
I haven't read other people's replies yet...but just my thoughts... The person is trying to stress you out with their lack of planning and last-minute requests. Unfortunately for you, it's probably not your best work because you are being asked at the last minute, so it's almost like she's sabotaging your dream. Maybe weight in your mind the options how you will handle a future demand from her, "is it worth it for the future business" and tell her you'll let her know, or atleast have a minute to yourself to collect your thoughts to decide if you really want to do it. Sometimes it's hard, but sometimes 'No' is the answer. (Unless she's the type of person that instead of admitting to the person that she forgot to tell you until the last minute, she might say something bad against you to save herself and then you might get bad reputation, then you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.... As for not getting $$ for the cakes, that is silly, especially since she's agreeing to it before even talking to you about it. Maybe sit down with her and explain that you need to turn this into more of a business than a charity.
it is one hting to make a free cake forfamily, but these are free cakes for friends and coworkers of the family members. that is just over the top. she has no business promising that YOU won't charge for something. if sh wants to give someone a free cake, she needs to pay you, and she can eat the cost if she wants to.
Well, see, this is the problem... she doesn't promise them that I will make the cake for free... she promises them the cake as her gift. She says she is going to pay for it. The problem is... she already owes me almost $3500 by now, and she has no money to pay me for the cake. It's like, "Can we add it to what I owe you?" Like I'm ever going to see that money before I retire! *sigh* but I do it because I love her, and I am apparently an idiot!
I personally wouldn't do the cake for free unless I OFFERED to do it. Then I would require the money up front, if she doesn't have the money for it than it's her problem if she's embarassed because she promised a cake and didn't deliver.
I know it's hard with family but you can't keep letting her take advantage of you this way.
I love my little sister but I would knock her upside her head if she did stuff like that! Oh wait she DOES! Not about my cakes but other irresponsibe stuff... I think the good Lord forgot to give her common sense and common courtesy! OOPS! I didn't mean to get off on my own rant I am like you though with her - I (half) say what I feel to her and keep the rest bottled up. Sisters... aren't they wonderful?
Melissa
My guess is, because you love your sister, you will be doing this cake. What if with the cake you include a price list and a business card for your sister's co-worker. That way there will be no questions as to the costs of your cakes. Sounds like you need to tell your sister in no uncertain terms, not to promise your cakes to others as "freebies". If someone wants to order a cake, to contact you directly. Send some business cards to work with her.
Well, see, this is the problem... she doesn't promise them that I will make the cake for free... she promises them the cake as her gift. She says she is going to pay for it. The problem is... she already owes me almost $3500 by now, and she has no money to pay me for the cake. It's like, "Can we add it to what I owe you?" Like I'm ever going to see that money before I retire! *sigh* but I do it because I love her, and I am apparently an idiot!
A wise person once said you can only be taken advantage of people to the extent that you let then take advantage of you.
Can you not simply tell her "no, we can't add it to what you already owe me." She isn't in any position to be promising gifts to anyone if she owes you money. Not making a cake for her doesn't mean you don't love her. And if she thinks it does, she needs to be told how her actions can be perceived as taking advantage of someone SHE is supposed to love. She is being irresponsible by promising something she isn't able to deliver, and (don't take this harshly, please), you are enabling her. It really isn't about the cake, the cost, or her promises. It is about you feeling like "an idiot" when she is the one who is acting like one.
She can at least come up with the cost of the ingredients (if that is acceptable to you). Cash to be paid PRIOR to you making the cake.
Believe me I feel you on this one. My own sister has had her issues in the past.
Melvira,
She might owe you money,but she doesn't have to owe more money. I would ask her to pick up a case of each ingredient,cake mixes powdered sugar...meringue powder etc... And I agree with jmt1714 if that's oked with you first.
Tell her she's dealing with a CC Celeb now. The inventor of the MELVIRA METHOD. Your cakes are too wonderful to be free.
Maybe you could think of some free favors she can do. Like handing out cards and pamphlets for advertising.
Hang in there,we all have someone who wants a cake for free
Good luck Cindy
Thanks guys for your feedback. Believe me, after this big incident, I informed her in no uncertain terms that there are no more free cakes. If she knows someone who wants a cake, THEY will pay for it, and she can go to the dollar store and pick up some little trinket as her gift. (Since she's broke, she's famous for making the cake her 'present' and then adding the price of the cake to what she owes me, that way she doesn't show up with no present) She shouldn't be giving them a fifty dollar cake anyway. Anyway, I think I've ragged enough about her. God knows I still love her more than anything, even though she makes me crazy, and my baby is CRAZY about her. As I write this, they are on the floor in front of me playing "I'm gonna get you" and he is screeching and laughing like crazy. I guess that puts a little perspective on it. I'm not nearly as irritated now. But I'm still not relaxing that free cake rule!!
Sounds like she owes you a whole lotta free baby-sitting!! I am lucky that I live far away from most of my family, so I don't really have to deal with family member wanting freebies....but I do get co-workers that want a cake for Monday but ask if I can wait for payment until Friday (umm, no!)
maybe you could make a deal with her. For every three or four new clients she send you, you bake her a free cake. or something like that. This way you'll both profit from it.
Sounds like she owes you a whole lotta free baby-sitting!! I am lucky that I live far away from most of my family, so I don't really have to deal with family member wanting freebies....but I do get co-workers that want a cake for Monday but ask if I can wait for payment until Friday (umm, no!)
North Miami!? Great!! I just checked out your website, those are a LOT of cakes!! my goodness...where is your shop? I would love to visit and see how you do it!!!
oh sorry Melvira, got excited about a fellow miamian..lol
Just like most of you, I too make cake for my FAMILY members for free. But if it's for someone else, I charge depending on who it is. For example, my sis-n-law ordered a cake from me for her neice's baby shower. I told her that I had $30 in it and let her pay me whatever and she gave me $60!! I find that it works better to tell them what I have in the cake then leave the ball in their court.
Gawd Risque!! How rude, highjacking my thread like that!! hahaha! Teasing!
Beckalita... the funny part is that she would babysit for free any time of any day, without more than 2 minutes notice! She is in love with my little guy. (Who can blame her... that is one CUTE kid!!) No kids of her own, and she turns 40 this year, so probably none to come... so she lives viacariously through me!
Gawd Risque!! How rude, highjacking my thread like that!! hahaha! Teasing!
Beckalita... the funny part is that she would babysit for free any time of any day, without more than 2 minutes notice! She is in love with my little guy. (Who can blame her... that is one CUTE kid!!) No kids of her own, and she turns 40 this year, so probably none to come... so she lives viacariously through me!
Ok Melvira..mea culpa, mea maxima culpa..lol
at least your sister likes your cakes, even though she REALLY shouldn't be trying to be playing JIM DIAMOND with someone elses money! Yeah..YOUR Money!
If she want's to look like the big shot, let her pay...in cash or trade..lol
but, at least YOUR family LIKES your cakes...
My family REALLY..REALLY hate me...the will rather NEVER eat another cake and tell me HOW much they ALL DISLIKE cake than let me even give them a free cake..
Their loss, less stress for me!
They actually SKIPPED my Grand Opening...the silly slags! But, they always have their hands in my pockets!!! but not anymore..now..I tell them how broke I am since I'm a SELF MADE , SELF EMPLOYED FOOL!
There...I TRIED to give it back...but it still turned out about me...
Gawd Risque!! How rude, highjacking my thread like that!! hahaha! Teasing!
Beckalita... the funny part is that she would babysit for free any time of any day, without more than 2 minutes notice! She is in love with my little guy. (Who can blame her... that is one CUTE kid!!) No kids of her own, and she turns 40 this year, so probably none to come... so she lives viacariously through me!
Free babysitting at the last minute is worth a $50 cake At least there is some give and take there. My bro owes me about 30 THOUSAND dollars, so who is the really big sucker here? But he does a lot for me too, he is my personal handyman AND I volunteer him and his amazing computer skills (as well as building skills) to my friends all the time.... and he tolerates it. Ahhh family
Risque... to heck with them! Like you said, you are a self made woman!! It sucks when people can't be supportive, but if they can't, they can take a hike! And heck, you've got us!! I bet THAT will keep you up a few nights!
Alicegop... it sounds like you win the 'sucker' contest!! I humbly bow to you!! hahahaha! But like you said... last minute babysitter is sometimes worth her weight in gold!
Risque... to heck with them! Like you said, you are a self made woman!! It sucks when people can't be supportive, but if they can't, they can take a hike! And heck, you've got us!! I bet THAT will keep you up a few nights!
Alicegop... it sounds like you win the 'sucker' contest!! I humbly bow to you!! hahahaha! But like you said... last minute babysitter is sometimes worth her weight in gold!
yep , a good , great! baby sitter is worth his or her weight in gold er..I mean cake!
It's so hard when you are in this situation. I had a similar situation (but not nearly so bad!!) last year and I hope you can get it resolved.
I do things on the same scale, Shirley. I had to explain the same thing to my sister last year. Her SIL wanted a free cake because she saw the one that I made for my nephew. Sorry, that was part of my nephew's birthday gift. Everyone except who I decide I'm making a gift cake for has to be charged. I have 2 daughters and cake decorating isn't something that's done quickly or cheaply. My time is worth too much to be donating cakes to everyone. Of course, I explained to her that I only do this for my family and close personal friends and wasn't quite so "snippy".
Risque... to heck with them! Like you said, you are a self made woman!! It sucks when people can't be supportive, but if they can't, they can take a hike! And heck, you've got us!! I bet THAT will keep you up a few nights!
Alicegop... it sounds like you win the 'sucker' contest!! I humbly bow to you!! hahahaha! But like you said... last minute babysitter is sometimes worth her weight in gold!
Guess who put down 10 exemptions on his W4..... paid $35 in federal taxes all year and didn't notice!!!!!!! And who wants another $3k, BUT he is going to go check out my new location and help me get it set up............ AND his wife was willing to babysit for me tomorrow while I take a cooking class (tortillas, salsa, guacamole, taquitos, chips....... YUM!)
So while I am sucker of the year, they do help me out a lot, so can't complain too much. A last min. babysitter (I signed up Sat for the Mon class) is worth a LOT
O...M...G... I assume that was a *typo* and that he really didn't think he could claim 10 exemptions! Bless us for putting up with this stuff!
NO TYPO! GEEZ!!!!!!! (it is him, his wife and 1 baby by the way. They dont go to church so they don't have donations to chartity or anything.....)
Yeah...it's hard to believe he accidentally did that.
You're not giving him the $3000 are you?
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