AWe had friends that completely shunned us out of her circle. More like the wife that shunned us. She was getting married and asked for a rainbow wedding cake with fondant flowers for free! Its a 4 tier cake for crying out loud! I have asked for money for the supplies since i am just starting out and a part time job with daycare fees will not help me even my husband low paying welding job will not cover the cost of the cake. After i asked for money, she just cut us out of her life, told her husband never talk to my husband (he was one of our groomsmen) ever again!!
Six months later, we finally got our thank you cards from our wedding, sent my thank you card to him addressing to him and wrote confidential as well.
Now i heard, our friend wants out of that marriage cause she is a controlling $&@"&. Her cake at the wedding gave food poisoning to everyone cause she bargained for the price! Original price was $600 she paid $100.
I am sorry that happened to you.
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Original message sent by OneHotMess
Because it's something a baker put his or her personal time, energy, effort, and talent into creating. A ding against a person's cake is essentially saying, "You're a talentless lump capable of producing only ugly, dry, tasteless things. It's a miracle you didn't burn it, but that might actually have improved it. Actually, why didn't you burn it? Can't you write down my order correctly?"
The person criticizing the baker is implying a level of superiority that the baker, on some level, knows hasn't been earned by the critic - but the critic is somehow empowered to take that superior position, while the baker has to stammer out apologies and justify each swirl, crumb, and crackle. It completely flips the balance of power from what the baker logically and rationally knows it should be and forces it into an illogical, farcical framework. Even worse is when that framework is being climbed by someone in the baker's own inner circle of friends and family - how often is it said here that people come to CC to get honest feedback from other bakers, because they feel their own F&F will only spew niceties? When the people who are expected to provide unwavering support break that social expectation, it smarts doubly.
Goofy as some of my other posts are, I feel very strongly on this subject. Family and friends often assume they can cut deeply and be forgiven quickly, simply by virtue of the positions they hold in the lives of the people they hurt. Work to remove their toxicity from your sphere of being and doing, and watch how rapidly and massively your life improves.
There's my Zen for the day. *Aaahhhhh-Oom!*
*ding ding ding* we have a winner!! :-D
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Goofy as some of my other posts are, I feel very strongly on this subject. Family and friends often assume they can cut deeply and be forgiven quickly, simply by virtue of the positions they hold in the lives of the people they hurt. Work to remove their toxicity from your sphere of being and doing, and watch how rapidly and massively your life improves.
This is absolutely, positively 100% correct. If you let people run roughshod over you because "they're family" you're doing yourself no favors at all. I say cut them out and go find a "family" of friends who actually respect you and treat you well. I knew one woman who said that she and a bunch of friends got together for Thanksgiving one year intead of going to their nasty families' homes, and they had the best day ever. Just because you have some psycho in your family due to an accident of biology doesn't mean they have permission to abuse you!
Goofy as some of my other posts are, I feel very strongly on this subject. Family and friends often assume they can cut deeply and be forgiven quickly, simply by virtue of the positions they hold in the lives of the people they hurt. Work to remove their toxicity from your sphere of being and doing, and watch how rapidly and massively your life improves.
So very true! I have a SIL that is toxic. She has always needled me , including attacking my kids (big mistake). One time she knew I was making a cake for a family gathering and called me the night before to inform me that SHE had decided that she was buying a sheet cake. Really? the night before? I politely told her that I guess there will be two cakes. To have both cakes side by side and watch my cake get eaten with all the Ooos & awes while that sheet cake just sat there was the best ever. Needless to say, she doesn't like me at all after that, but I just don't care anymore. This is Her loss not mine. I will not let miserable people twist my life around so they can feel superior.
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This is absolutely, positively 100% correct. If you let people run roughshod over you because "they're family" you're doing yourself no favors at all. I say cut them out and go find a "family" of friends who actually respect you and treat you well. I knew one woman who said that she and a bunch of friends got together for Thanksgiving one year intead of going to their nasty families' homes, and they had the best day ever. Just because you have some psycho in your family due to an accident of biology doesn't mean they have permission to abuse you!
THIS. Thanksgiving improved ten-fold when I told my dad to stop bringing my mom and start bringing just my Baba and/or his "Lady Friend." Mom's the sort of person who will tell you the turkey is dry and the stuffing isn't traditional - but only after she's had two or three helpings. And packed her own leftovers in your Tupperware.
Family is who you pick, not how you're stuck.
Besides, the universe sorts it out, a la The Wal-Mart Cake-Off. The cosmos decided to Epic Fail your SIL, JW. All that needs is ice cream on the side. 
I've always said that blood IS thicker than water because there's more sh*t in it.
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The BEST part of all of this ... when she posted to Facebook that she was looking for someone to make a princess cake for her daughter and needed a "good" and "reasonably-priced" baker, the ONLY responses she got referred her back to me! HAHA.
She ended up buying a Wal-Mart cake.
YAHAHAHA!!! *snort ~ GUFFAW!*
A
Actually, they did complain, not about the price, but they didn't agree with the instructor on some points (because obviously they are experts and he is not, so we reward our dissatisfaction with cake, naturally)....so if it wasn't before, it should be painfully obvious what kind of people I am dealing with....
My husband has always been the glue with his family and has played peacekeeper for years keeping all the siblings and certain cousins together. Crazies always turn on the peacekeeper and when they had no drama in their life, they found it with us. Our life has been so peaceful since we walked from that mess and stopped trying to fix things!
Thanks to all for letting me vent. This has been so therapeutic to just get all my feelings out and know I'm not crazy (well, just a little!). You guys are great!
I'm making the wedding cake for my Bf's Dad's wedding...my bf's new step-mom treats me like I should be at her beck and call to "brainstorm" ideas with me about this cake; like 11 o'clock at night she will message me about this cake. The wedding is a month away and she thinks that just because I'm family (sort of anyway) it gives her the right to litterally wake me up and discuss irrelivant things that frankly don't need to be changed.
last night she messaged me that it is now my job to find and buy a fitting cake stand for her reception..I'm also paying by the way. I did offer the cake as my Wedding gift to them..but now I have to search around and buy a cake stand!
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Original message sent by Gingerlocks
I'm making the wedding cake for my Bf's Dad's wedding...my bf's new step-mom treats me like I should be at her beck and call to "brainstorm" ideas with me about this cake; like 11 o'clock at night she will message me about this cake. The wedding is a month away and she thinks that just because I'm family (sort of anyway) it gives her the right to litterally wake me up and discuss irrelivant things that frankly don't need to be changed.
last night she messaged me that it is now my job to find and buy a fitting cake stand for her reception..I'm also paying by the way. I did offer the cake as my Wedding gift to them..but now I have to search around and buy a cake stand!
No you don't! Tell her to get her own damn stand. And turn your phone off when you go to bed, saves a lot of annoyance.:twisted:
I'm making the wedding cake for my Bf's Dad's wedding...my bf's new step-mom treats me like I should be at her beck and call to "brainstorm" ideas with me about this cake; like 11 o'clock at night she will message me about this cake. The wedding is a month away and she thinks that just because I'm family (sort of anyway) it gives her the right to litterally wake me up and discuss irrelivant things that frankly don't need to be changed.
Also, I don't know how old your boyfriend is, but if he's over 18 his father's new wife is just that, not his stepmother. You shouldn't let her push you around because you're kind of family, you're not. Just my opinion...Tell her thanks for the "opportunity" to also buy a stand for the cake, but you want to let her have that fun and expense for herself.
"" If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."" Star Jones
if you don't stand up for yourself now, you'll be a doormat that people scrape their muddy shoes on forever. You can learn to be professional and business-like in your refusal.........the sooner the better.
I think the problem is two fold,
1. The multiple times multiple tv shows that do not show the ins and outs of cake making and decorating but rather show the glamorous side in a 20 minute slot so people watching these shows do not really understand what goes into making a 5 tier cake with sparkles and lights and things twirling, whatever...
and secondly (the number two digit seems to be currently indisposed on my keyboard), they perceive cake decorating to be a hobby as opposed to a proper business. I run up against this and it gets my goat more than anything. I realise I'm not a surgeon saving lives but it's also a job - a serious one.
I think that's what happened here, esp bc it's family who in my opinion are just like friends - you'd rather not have them as clients.
Chin up, we've all been there.
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No you don't! Tell her to get her own damn stand. And turn your phone off when you go to bed, saves a lot of annoyance.
Well I ended up going on Etsy and showing her some "options"..and she didn't like any of them. So I told her that I just didn't know and she'd have to get her own. Our tastes are compleatly opposite so there is no point in me wasting my time looking she hated everything I suggested.
And on top of that I was supposed to be looking for something local because its a waste for ME to have to pay shipping..jeeze thanks!
A
Original message sent by Gingerlocks
Well I ended up going on Etsy and showing her some "options"..and she didn't like any of them. So I told her that I just didn't know and she'd have to get her own. Our tastes are compleatly opposite so there is no point in me wasting my time looking she hated everything I suggested.
And on top of that I was supposed to be looking for something local because its a waste for ME to have to pay shipping..jeeze thanks!
Good for you!
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