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A Song I Wrote for the Grocery Store Decorators

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I just wanted to share a song that I wrote many years ago when I first started decorating in a grocery store. A lot of the annoying situations with customers seemed pretty universal so one day when I was very young and frustrated, I wrote a song, which every grocery store decorator I have told it to was highly amused by. So, for your amusement, and with no slight or offense intended, I present, "Bake Your Own Damn Cake. Bake Your Own Damn Cake (Customer 1) Excuse me? Can you help me? I need a cake in two hours Make it white with pink flowers It's my daughter's birthday and she's invited her whole class I need it big, pretty and frilly And with strawberry filling With ribbons and streamers And do the candles come free with that? (Decorator) Ma'am, just wait a minute Let me talk and let me finish We're behind on our orders, short-staffed and on a Saturday Now, you know you need to order A day before, no shorter School lets out on a Friday So where the heck were you yesterday? Bake your own damn cake Or take one from the case No, there's no mistake And your bad planning makes my head ache It's a little too late To take a full sheet order today So bake your own damn cake Or take one from the case (Customer 2) Excuse me? What flavor is this? Is it white or is it chocolate? And how much is it? And how fresh is it? I want one that's baked fresh today I need it moist with butter-whip icing For a big church function And can I have some writing? Let me write it out, it's kind of long (Decorator) Ma'am, just read the label Or are you not able? And no, it's not fresh Came frozen on a truck last Tuesday There's no such thing as 'butter-whip' icing But if freshness is enticing I have a friend who can help you He's Duncan Hines and he's on aisle 8 Bake your own damn cake Or take one from the case I'll write on what you take But if it's too much, buy a nice Hallmark card Make up your mind Or shove off, you make my head ache Bake your own damn cake Or take one from the case (Customer 3) Excuse me? Can I place an order? What size? I dunno, a big one What icing? I dunno, he didn't say What flavor to make it? I dunno, what do you have? Make it with roses or maybe streamers With nice boy-ish colors And write "Happy Birthday..." I forgot the name, I'll call and ask (Decorator) Ma'am, I don't mean to be low But is there anything you DO know? And can you be more specific? I can't help you when you are so vague If I may, I'll make a suggestion If the flavor is in question Betty Crocker can help you She prints the pictures right on the box Bake your own damn cake Or know how you want it made 'Cause if you don't say I'll make it ugly just to tick you off Plan your order ahead Or make it easy on everyone here Bake your own damn cake Or plan how you want it made
post #2 of 10
Thread Starter 
Just noticed that my spacing got shrunk down making it harder to read. Sorry about that.
post #3 of 10

Very, very nice. Can you hum a few bars? icon_biggrin.gif

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VISIT US at BAKINGFIX

 

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post #4 of 10
That's it. Cake central musical.
Hey everybody! Check out google.com ! This is clearly an attempt to direct traffic onto that site and away from cake central. Because everyone knows you can only have one browser open!
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Hey everybody! Check out google.com ! This is clearly an attempt to direct traffic onto that site and away from cake central. Because everyone knows you can only have one browser open!
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post #5 of 10
P.s. one of my friends reposted this on facebook lol. So it must have been veey popular lol
Hey everybody! Check out google.com ! This is clearly an attempt to direct traffic onto that site and away from cake central. Because everyone knows you can only have one browser open!
Reply
Hey everybody! Check out google.com ! This is clearly an attempt to direct traffic onto that site and away from cake central. Because everyone knows you can only have one browser open!
Reply
post #6 of 10

Oh I love this!

For we are God's MASTERPIECE! He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
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For we are God's MASTERPIECE! He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
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post #7 of 10

:high fives you:

 

thumbs_up.gif thumbs_up.gif thumbs_up.gif

 

(yes, I work in a supermarket bakery -- I know EXACTLY the meaning behind this little ditty!)
 

post #8 of 10

I LOVE THIS!  I work in a grocery store every weekend and you just NAILED it! haha
 

post #9 of 10

To the OP, regarding the total loss of text formatting in your post:

 

I've seen this myself. It happens when the post editor and your web browser don't get along well. It happens all the time when I post from home. The workaround is to manually embed HTML line breaks ("<br>") and skipped lines ("<br><p><br>") in the text.

James H. H. Lampert
Professional Dilettante

Web site: http://www.hbquik.com/jamesl

Flickr "baked goods" set http://flic.kr/s/aHsjvZvdTh

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James H. H. Lampert
Professional Dilettante

Web site: http://www.hbquik.com/jamesl

Flickr "baked goods" set http://flic.kr/s/aHsjvZvdTh

Reply
post #10 of 10

I am a grocery store decorator yep that about sums it up 100% LOL! I just love the ones that call last min and say "Its my sons birthday I forgot to order the cake for the party can I get one in an hour"...... Im like you know all freaking year long when your childs birthday is and you wait until an hour before the party to order the cake............. <sigh> LOL!

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