Hahahaha!  OK I have another one:

Marble.

Take a bite of chocolate, don't swallow, take a bite of vanilla... chew and swallow.  Voila!  Marble!  Why do I have to bake a special little sample of cake that is just chocolate and vanilla cake baked in the same pan when I've already given the client CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA cake samples?  Is the flavor really that special and complex that some magical transformation happens when those two batters are baked together that completely change the flavor profile from just taking a bite of vanilla cake then taking a bite of chocolate cake and using your imagination that they were baked all in the same pan?

Don't know why this one drives me nuts.

have you ever had someone ask you about cake, have a consultation and in that consultation they say "yea, I normally make the cakes but I don't have the time this time around".

I had this happen to me...I make a spectacular cake, and when I bring it over she is OBVIOUSLY jealous! why would someone do this to themselves 

ACustomer- long sob story how she really can't afford the kind of cake she wants so she found me hoping to get a great deal on a specialty cake. Me- feeling sorry for her quote her a dirt cheap price Customer- oh thank god I can afford that..now I also want 2 dozen cupcakes in two different flavors Me- ok that will be extra Customer-really? Remember I can't afford much Me- than you just want the cake no cupcakes? Customer- no I want both just say with my budget Me- ( big sigh) yeah I understand want you wan t

A

Well, they might want to make sure your marble cake doesn't come out the consistency of a block of marble. That was, after all, my own biggest concern, the first time I made my strawberry marble cake. And of course, anything added to the batter can screw up the chemistry, so it doesn't all rise evenly (my strawberry marble doesn't; the strawberry veining is slightly, but visibly, depressed.)

And for that matter, who says a marble cake has to be chocolate marble? There's strawberry marble, and besides, spice marble, by all accounts, was the very first marble cake.

AHopefully those cupcakes will be. MOIST lol

'Tis the season to have

Merry baking wishes to everyone.

I want them soggy.

A

GROSS!!!

A

Camel cake. Yuk!! But would that be the exact oVery Dry in instead of MOIST / Soggy ? Lol

AI think that was a typo kinda like one I make here the other day that someone caught. I was going to use Mental cupcake liners instead of saying foil liners. Opps

OMG I just had to leave the room in a fit of giggles at the typos- now the cat's looking at me like I've two heads- jees!

A while back I was asked:

"we'd really love one of your cakes..."

(great start- I'd love to make you one!)

"...but we don't like cake..."

(erm....)

"and there's only 4 of us too..."

(....phone silence from potential customer indicates that they desire a response- I go with: 'so you'd like a small something that looks like a cake but isn't a cake?'

"yes I think so"

I attempt to prise further details- "something savoury perhaps? That's not something I do but I will certainly look into it for you?"

"great, thank you very much!"

.......

lots of time researching and getting advice from lovely CCers

.......

"here are some suggestions, of course I will need extra time to trial recipes for this <Cool but insane> request, and cost-wise you are looking in the region of <research time + trial time + trial ingredients + final ingredients + labour + overheads......>

".....oh......... can we just go with cake- we'll let the kids eat it- thank you- bye"

I still plan to trial it properly tho- just out of curiosity! 

My customers must know about this thread - so one of them delivered something nice this morning, about a consultation scheduled for tomorrow:

" Yesterday a friend of ours who likes to bake offered to make the wedding cake for us. Of course that is something we have to look into, so I hope you will not mind me cancelling our consultation for tomorrow. I will come back to you if it doesn't work out, ok?".

Of course. Sure. I wish you a wonderful wedding with a wonderful cake. Oh and don't bother to coma back a couple of weeks before the wedding when your friend suddenly realises that making a wedding cake for 120 guests is just ever so slightly beyond her.... 
 

Lol, love this thread.

I received a form submission from the website a few weeks ago for a "birthday cake for twins that won't break the budget. I don't care what flavor, I just want it cheap".

Um, gee. Let's see, I own a cake business which means I make cakes for... wait for it..... money!!! (Gasp!) So starting off the transaction saying you have no interest in giving me money is not going to endear me to you.

Anyways, I email back for details (# of people, do they want a certain theme, how old are they, boys or girls, etc) and all I get is "whatever is cheapest".

So.... do you want a Mickey cake for a 2-year old or a car cake for a 16 year-old? Perhaps flowers and butterflies, oh wait I still don't know if you're kids are boys, girls, or their ages! Or how many flippin people you need to feed on your "cheap" budget... Ugh.

Every once in a while there's that ray of sunshine when a customer walks in and says "I'd like a 9-inch cake in chocolate and peanut butter and here's a picture I like, but feel free to interpret it in whatever style you think works best". But for every one of those, there's 20 behind them who have no freakin clue what they want, but they know they want it cheap, tacky, and moist :)

I had a customer contact me through facebook a couple of months ago requesting a qoute for a 2 tier zebra fondant cake with a hot pink bow for 20 people. I went through all the back and forth messages and finally qouted her a price of $126 and she wrote me back "that's great I'm so excited!!!! By the way you do accept food stamps right.

I was in public when I read it and had everyone looking at me like I was crazy I just could not stop laughing. Once I settled down I was a little outraged that someone would try to use money that was probably provided to feed their kids to throw a fancy birthday party for themselves.