I had this happen to me earlier this year. My best friend purchased a dozen cupcakes from me. (as she and her husband had before, never any complaints) She went to visit a friend of hers and let her taste a cupcake. Later, that day I said so how did she like them? My best friend: "She liked them! She said they were good!" Hours later on the phone. "Yeah she said they were too sweet and the icing was sweet, she couldn't even eat it. She gave it to her daughter," Then she says, "Are you offended?" I said "No, I'm not offended" She says "Okay good, because you know some people..." then I cut her off and said, "I'm not offended because she's not a customer! She had one of YOUR cupcakes that YOU bought! None of my other customers have EVER complained about them being too sweet!" She was the only one, literally!
I have a best friend who is also my biggest cheerleader when it comes to my cakes. She brags about them and loves the ones I've done for her (as surprise gifts)....EXCEPT when she becomes the 'customer'...then she turns into Cakezilla. She tells me what she wants then I give her a sample design and loves it....for 10 minutes. Then she changes her mind and wants something else. So I draw it out and it's FABULOUS...for maybe 15 minutes. She keeps saying things like 'I'm looking for the WOW factor.' So I pull up existing cake designs that I know have that WOW factor and she says 'I don't know...I know what I want, I just haven't seen it yet.' This can go on literally for days. She always second guesses herself and worst of all me!
So I remind her that she's always liked what I've done before. You have to TRUST me like everyone else I've done work for has done and that you yourself have loved. She can't do it.
Two years ago she threw a huge high school reunion / 50th birthday party (most everyone was turning 50 that year) at her home in the country. She and I went round and round about cake design, cupcake designs, you name it. First she wanted a Pinky-Dinky ice cream truck theme cake because she and all her classmates remembered the Pinky-Dinky truck when they were kids. So, I came up with a 3-D Pinky Dinky truck Idea that included playing the Pinky Dinky music. She loved it...for a day. She decided it was too 'childish'. So I came up with several more ideas that she shot down. Then she wanted sunflowers and burlap. Fine, I came up with a gorgeous rustic iced sunflower cake with burlap ribbon and she said it wasn't 'WOW' enough...wasn't sure about the 'rustic' icing. Really? So then she wanted to do cupcakes. Sunflower cupcakes individually tied with twine. OK. No wait...I've changed my mind about the sunflowers...I want individually boxed cupcakes with a candle to present at midnight and the DJ will have us all sing 'happy birthday to us" and we can blow out our candles!'
Now keep in mind this is an open-bar party with an on-sight hamburger truck cooking for everyone and a DJ blasting music all night. Basically a drunk-fest. I know my friend. She gets flighty and can forget her own name when there is a lot going on. I reminded her that probably the midnight cupcake idea was not a good one as this is not a formal party and everyone will probably be three sheets to the wind and the last thing on her (or anyone's) mind will be blowing out candles on a cupcake that has to be distributed to everyone at midnight somehow. She got all PO'd at me calling me 'negative'...and asked me why I was always second-guessing HER ideas! OMG!
I finally got fed up and said look...in order for us to remain friends I need you to find someone else to do your cake or cupcakes or whatever. So she agreed and decided on serving two different kinds of cobbler that she herself would make. The irony of all this is that the cobblers sat in the kitchen all night because everyone was plastered and no one remembered to serve them (big surprise!).
Now...my dilemma is that her son is getting married next year. I want to make his groom's cake as a gift because she helped me with my own daughter's wedding--buying the champagne and more. Plus the groom actually requested that I do it. I came up with a design a few months ago that she loved. All was well until last night when we were talking about the wedding and the reception and how she was going to make sure there was a special table for the groom's cake...complete with special lighting...and maybe the design needs to be changed. To what? I naively asked. "Oh...I'm not sure...I know it when I'll see it" !!!!!!!! I have a whole year of this to look forward to.
Cobbler is sounding pretty good right now.
ASounds like your going to have your hands full
Hmm. Everybody got bombed, and the cobblers sat in the kitchen, forgotten, until they went bad.
Ah, the benefits of being a teetotaler. I forget things enough, stone cold sober. Don't want to think about what I'd forget drunk.
To avoid problems with your friend, and since it was her son who requested that you do the cake, I would ask HIM what theme he wants the cake to reflect. Leave her out of it entirely! Just MHO! Good luck! Otherwise, if the friendship with her lasts, you will NEVER hear the end of it. And it will always be your fault the wedding "was a disaster cause you should have seen the groom's cake! It should have been......." (fill in any comment you like! <grin>)
I agree, it is the son's wedding, and not hers. He asked you to do it and your are doing it for him, not her. Deal only with him and if she sticks her nose in kindly tell her that it is between you and the groom and if she keeps getting involved you will just have to back out since there is ample time for him to find someone else for the cake. Really, a year of that is just too much. I am sure there are many other non cake things you could do to help out.
ASay something on the lines of " You need to just speak to one person (him) so your wires don't get crossed and there's no confusion" meaning on your part
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Original message sent by hbquikcomjamesl
Hmm. Everybody got bombed, and the cobblers sat in the kitchen, forgotten, until they went bad.
Ah, the benefits of being a teetotaler. I forget things enough, stone cold sober. Don't want to think about what I'd forget drunk.
I know, right? I was not at that party as I didn't know anyone and these were her buddies from years past...plus I didn't want to go because I would have been the one sober person there picking up.
The cobblers didn't go bad...she ended up freezing them for later use. But still. My friend will do anything for anyone...she just goes over-the-top and doesn't know when to quit in her quest to make everything 'perfect.' Unfortunately it's that quest for perfection that worries her to the point where she can't make decisions because there MAY be something better around the corner! I am the one that tries to get her back to reality...sometimes it works...this instance it didn't. I have a year to work on this one. Yikes! :grin:
I was in the baking aisle of the grocery store last night. A couple was there selecting a cake mix for Father's Day based upon which ones said they were "moist." I started to giggle. This thread has made me appear more nutty than usual. :)
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Original message sent by denetteb
I agree, it is the son's wedding, and not hers. He asked you to do it and your are doing it for him, not her. Deal only with him and if she sticks her nose in kindly tell her that it is between you and the groom and if she keeps getting involved you will just have to back out since there is ample time for him to find someone else for the cake. Really, a year of that is just too much. I am sure there are many other non cake things you could do to help out.
The thing is, he wants me to do it...he just doesn't care what it looks like because he trusts me and he's letting his mother 'work' with me on that. LOL! And honestly she would like whatever I did if she'd just let me do it. If it gets to the point where we were at the party I'm going to do what I did before and back out. Let some other vendor deal with Cakezilla. I want to enjoy the wedding. I can help in other ways!
Remember, "carmijok," the perfect is the enemy of the good-enough.
Mine was, if u bake this cake for my son's birthday t this price, u will get to bake his sisters bday cake in 2 month's time. Seriously???????????????????
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Original message sent by Ralch
[COLOR=FF0000]Mine was, if u bake this cake for my son's birthday t this price, u will get to bake his sisters bday cake in 2 month's time. Seriously???????????????????[/COLOR]
ARecently I had a lady say that if I gave her a discount, she would pass out my cards 0.oSo, you're not going to tell anyone where it came from unless I cut you a deal? F U! I don't give discounts and people pass out my cards all the time.
AI love that one. Ill pass out your cards for a discount. Lol. Or I know a lot of ppl. Or ill trade you marketing for cake lol
Recently I had a lady say that if I gave her a discount, she would pass out my cards 0.oSo, you're not going to tell anyone where it came from unless I cut you a deal? F U! I don't give discounts and people pass out my cards all the time.
Next time some one says that tell them they have a deal. That you've been looking for some one to wear a tiered cake costume and pass out cards at the corner of ________ name the busiest intersection of your town and see how badly they want that discount : )
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Original message sent by j92383
[QUOTE name="Annabakescakes" url="/t/751860/things-not-to-ask-say-to-a-baker/1350#post_7405170"] Recently I had a lady say that if I gave her a discount, she would pass out my cards 0.oSo, you're not going to tell anyone where it came from unless I cut you a deal? F U! I don't give discounts and people pass out my cards all the time.[/QUOTE] Next time some one says that tell them they have a deal. That you've been looking for some one to wear a tiered cake costume and pass out cards at the corner of ________ name the busiest intersection of your town and see how badly they want that discount : )
LOL they do make the costume but it's pretty pricey
The hat idea might be the way to go. Maybe add a leotard and come up with a jingle they have sing while they pass the cards out. Make sure you record it though, that way you can play it for the next person who asks for a discount. "Madam/Sir I suggest you take a look at this. Are you sure you want to pass out cards for a discount."
Remember, "carmijok," the perfect is the enemy of the good-enough.
First you have to decide what IS good enough and then perfect it. Continually looking for the perfect will only keep you looking and never finding.
(from Cake Philosophy and Deep Stuff by carmijok).
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Original message sent by j92383
LOL they do make the costume but it's pretty pricey [URL=http://www.bonanza.com/listings/PROFESSIONAL-CUSTOM-MADE-BIRTHDAY-CAKE-MASCOT-COSTUME/4047839?gpid=21297750541&gpkwd=&goog_pla=1&gclid=CKHNy9bx67cCFUdk7AodnkEAqg]http://www.bonanza.com/listings/PROFESSIONAL-CUSTOM-MADE-BIRTHDAY-CAKE-MASCOT-COSTUME/4047839?gpid=21297750541&gpkwd=&goog_pla=1&gclid=CKHNy9bx67cCFUdk7AodnkEAqg[/URL]
The hat idea might be the way to go. Maybe add a leotard and come up with a jingle they have sing while they pass the cards out. Make sure you record it though, that way you can play it for the next person who asks for a discount. "Madam/Sir I suggest you take a look at this. Are you sure you want to pass out cards for a discount."
Customer - *when you say you are busy - do you really mean it - or are you just saying that?*
Me - *your precious and priceless.................and i am REALLY busy...........
*
A[quote name="carmijok" url="/t/751860/things-not-to-ask-say-to-a-baker/1350#post_7405362"] First you have to decide what IS good enough and then perfect it. Continually looking for the perfect will only keep you looking and never finding. (from Cake Philosophy and Deep Stuff by carmijok). Lol
LOL they do make the costume but it's pretty pricey
The hat idea might be the way to go. Maybe add a leotard and come up with a jingle they have sing while they pass the cards out. Make sure you record it though, that way you can play it for the next person who asks for a discount. "Madam/Sir I suggest you take a look at this. Are you sure you want to pass out cards for a discount."
I LOVE this idea! This is a great response to those "marketing trades!"
Lol! That is pricey! I bet it would be easy to make, though, if I was serious about it. The hardest part would be getting someone to wear it!
A part of me would love to suggest it just to see what reaction I would get. But with my luck that person would end up going for it and I'd get stuck sewing a cake costume and making a discounted cake : )
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Original message sent by carmijok
I know, right? I was not at that party as I didn't know anyone and these were her buddies from years past...plus I didn't want to go because I would have been the one sober person there picking up.
The cobblers didn't go bad...she ended up freezing them for later use. But still. My friend will do anything for anyone...she just goes over-the-top and doesn't know when to quit in her quest to make everything 'perfect.' Unfortunately it's that quest for perfection that worries her to the point where she can't make decisions because there MAY be something better around the corner! I am the one that tries to get her back to reality...sometimes it works...this instance it didn't. I have a year to work on this one. Yikes! :grin:
Wait, am I your friend?! My husband is always on at me because I offer to do cakes for people then get so obsessed with it being perfect, I'll go through several designs and never be happy, and I end up spending way more time and money than I originally intended to.
The history teacher in me made me search for more info on the "egg controversy" and found this snopes articles, pointing out the above is "true .... but not." It was not so much the feeling that a baker was adding something of her own, but the fact that adding fresh eggs just made a better cake.
http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/cakemix.asp
The very last paragraph is interesting, in a social history point of view.
Finally got asked if I can do a moist cake, and questioned as to whether my cakes were moist or dry. Wooohooooo!!!!!
I said it before, and I'll say it again: I distinctly recall that the cake mixes from my childhood called for eggs, but they called for milk rather than water, and didn't call for oil at all. And that "just add water" mixes existed, but were never popular, because (and this fits the Snopes article) they didn't produce a very good cake.
AHaha, I was just browsing my local Craigslist to see what kind of cheap cake ladies there around here and stumbled across this gem
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