Okay, so i was super amp'd because I am totally broke and I was like "Yay, I don't HAVE to make a cake for anyone any time soon!" Not to mention the fact that those stupid princess cakes in my album took FIVE DAYS!

Enter the New Kid at the office, whose birthday is on Monday and of course I am expected to make a cake for him. I know ABSOLUTELY nothing about this guy and getting him to talk is like getting blood from a rock. Therefore, I need ideas on what I can make that's simple and also masculine. I keep finding cakes that are all blue and look like they should be at a baby shower or weird grooms cakes with antlers. Does anyone know of any good ideas they could point to? Something that's like of universal and not so girly (no flowers please)!

Any help is appreciated!

How about a simple BC round cake with contrasting glaze dripping off the edges?
BTW...does 'expected to make the cake' equal a freebie? I know it does at my office and that means I have free reign

It is a freebie and I do have free reign, I am just soooo not motivated. I saw the drizzle thing too but it just doesn't seem very exciting. I don't know, maybe I'll just do it anyway! Thank you for your suggestions!

How about something related to his job position, the purpose of the company, or welcoming a newbie to the company?

Well, my own cakes are about as simple as you can get: sheet cakes, frosted with cold-process creamed (not whipped) buttercreams (or canned chocolate frosting) and served in the pan, and unfrosted pound cakes. (I must not be completely alone in preferring dense non-whipped BCs to whipped ones, given that most of the canned frostings on the market, and most of the boxed frosting mixes that preceded them, are of almost exactly the same consistency as "The Recipe That's Been On The Back Of The C&H Powdered Sugar Box Since Before I Was Born".)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/64159238@N03/sets/72157627517153286/show/

Just a simple abstract pattern, with (as "cheatize" suggested) a message wishing him a happy birthday, and welcoming him to the company?

Or here's an idea: A picture of a squirrel, with the message, "Welcome to the Squirrel Cage (and look out for the nuts!)"

I would make the Guinness Stout cake (with some sort of beer) and a simple white icing with chocolate glaze dripping off the top.
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Chocolate-Stout-Cake-107105

After all beer is one of the ultimate "guy" things.

I think argyle is a masculine style.

Assuming, of course, (Re: a "beer cake") that he drinks (and not every drinking man likes beer: my best friend has been known to refer to all beer, categorically, as <impolite word often applied to inferior beer>. And (Re: the chocolate glaze) also assuming that he eats chocolate.

Assuming that the object here is to surprise him with his first cake, it might be wise to err on the side of caution (in which case maybe a pound cake (straight vanilla), baked in a Bundt mold (to make it more festive than a simple loaf), and left (except for the decorations) unfrosted, might be the answer.

And of course, argyle would also qualify as an "abstract pattern" (as per my previous suggestion.

If you are broke why do they expect you to make a free cake? If someone "expects" free cakes from me then they can either pay or go else where. Maybe you should put your foot down if it puts you in a position that you dont want to be.

The free cake rule assumes that everybody bakes for the next person's birthday. Meaning that you get to eat some of several cakes, and that you contribute only one work birthday cake per year. It works out pretty well.

Now as this is a new person, you can bake whatever cake you like and excuse yourself on the grounds of "we didn't know".

With the chocolate beer cake, the beer pretty much bakes out. No alcohol is added to icing if you don't want to add it. But an unfrosted cake is too low if the general office standard is iced. Wait for this person to express his preferences before his next birthday.

Stripes always seem masculine to me. A cake with stripes?

I'd keep it super simple, especially because it's a freebie.

here is a simple chocolate cake that I did for a male friend. Simple and masculine. This is one of the first cakes that I did so its not totally smooth. the band around the bottom was rolled buttercream.

Ok, I did a google search... if I knew how to get the picture from there to here I would... but I'll do my best to describe what I'm looking at.
How about a simple round, covered in fondant with a fondant bow on top? Not a regular 2 loop bow, but one that you would put on top of a present. (only made out of fondant)

OR

go fondant free (it's cheaper!) and simply pipe a nice border with a Happy Birthday message. Maybe add some sprinkles or something to the sides??

::shrugging:: I don't know. I'm out of ideas. Good luck!

What line of business are you in? That might help with suggestions.

Stars and fireworks
Fresh berries
Stripes or pinstripes
Hamburger cake or cookout theme

I like the monogram idea above too.

@Renee - By broke I mean I don't want to have to buy fondant. Most of the stuff I already have at the house so I am not too stressed out about spending money but I just don't want to do anything crazy extravagant. And by that I mean, I am not making a Tom Sawyers Island cake like one co-worker suggested! (apparently he likes Tom Sawyers Island, which is odd because hes in his late 20s!)

@Irene I probably end up making the cakes because there are several people in my office who I would just not trust to bake anything worth noting. There are a couple other girls who bake but they brought in stuff this week.

@Debie We work in politics for a Republican. But I am not sure I want to do something super partisan for a birthday. I was thinking maybe a Strabucks theme. He likes those chocolate Frappuccino things and I have these mini plastic cups with plastic domes that kind of look like the Starbucks cups. I could do a few of those and stick Starbucks stickers on them. Then just layer cake and whipped frosting inside


Thank you to everyone for their suggestions!