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Prices for Atlanta GA wedding cake? - Page 2

post #16 of 36
This one is a tough one. Were you invited to the wedding or expected to go even before the cake request? If the answer is yes, than just avoiding this situation and not going is not really an option. If it is a really good friend, you really don't want to miss a wedding either, do you? But I know how it feels, sometimes our friends ask things of us that we don't think they should, but most of the time it's just because they don't really know how much it may "cost" us rather than that they simply don't care. So you have to figure out how to make it work without stressing yourself out and still enjoying your time with your friend. Come up with some other options, talk to your friend. It is not feasible for you to bake and decorate a big cake there, just shipment of all equipment (pans, spatulas, tools, etc.) will be an impossible task. How about ingredients that you normally use and that are not readily available from regular grocery stores? I know you would have loved nothing more than to do this for her, but the distance prevents you from making it happen. Tell her, give her some other options. Go with a larger dummie you decorate at home and then ship safe and sound. Offer to make a smaller cake for cutting just like you planned, and then they can supplement with sheetcakes from somewhere else. Offer to do a cupcake tower instead with a small cake for cutting. You have severe limitations to what you can do on location, so far away from your shop, supplies, tools, and equipment. Just take a breath and see what you can come up with that can make both of you happy in this situation. Making relationship tense over this will have a lasting effect. And whatever you decide on, do it--talk to her asap. The longer you dwell on it and longer situation is unresolved, the more miserable you are making yourself.
Good Luck, P
post #17 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetflowers

And QT, you are right about the number of invites, but from what I understand, a lot of them won't be coming. My friend has a huge extended family, but they never ever travel, so they are assuming they will all to be 'regrets'. And you are both right, I would never ask my friends to do this for me, in fact, I can't remember ever asking her for any favor.




Okay, they are in the South. I don't know too many Southeners that won't travel for a wedding. They are assuming they won't come. She doesn't know yet. I agree with what another poster said, about you would be doing your friend a bigger favor by saying no. Your work is beautiful. I don't blame her for wanting a cake from you.
post #18 of 36
I really like the idea of purchasing or helping to purchase the wedding cake from someone local. This IS a hot mess, and to get out of it gracefully would be your best hope.
I would call around or at least google it, and find a couple of bakers that would work for their needs and either offer to purchase part, half or all of the cake for them. You could even say, "I'll do $300, and if you want more cake than that you'll have to decide how to spend it." They can order a small tiered cake and sheets if they really can't do more.
In the end, this wedding is NOT your responsibility, and the fact that they are over budget is also NOT your problem. They can get married at a courthouse or in church without a big "to-do." In the end it is much more important that they are married than they had a fabulous cake or great food. I know we all want to have a tv wedding, but not always getting what we want is part of marriage, right?
You should feel NO guilt!!!!!!
life is short, get a cakesafe.
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life is short, get a cakesafe.
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post #19 of 36
I feel like she is taking advantage of your generosity. A wedding cake is a VERY expensive gift to give someone. It would be one thing if it were local, but you have to travel, miss time off work, and work in unfamiliar and uncomfortable circumstances. I would never ask someone to do that for me, nor would I expect that. I think it's her problem and if I were you I would either try to get out of it as gracefully as possible, or if you do decide to bake her one, do a small tiered cake for them to cut for the pictures and have the mom get some Costco kitchen cakes to supplement. That's what happens when the cake is an afterthought!

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
post #20 of 36
Wow...I'm just in shock.

Here's the bottom line - they are planning a wedding they can't afford. Its not your responsiblity to bail them out. It woudl be nice to help out if you lived closer. But there are just too many obstacles. I can't believe she asked considering where you live but hopefully she'll understand why you just can't do it. And if she doesn't, well...I'm not sure how much of a friend she is then.
post #21 of 36
Thread Starter 
First, I want to thank you all for the compliments on my cakes, it's very appreciated icon_smile.gif

I'm really torn, but I did send an email today, telling her as gently as I could that I just couldn't fly out and do the cake under the conditions she had. You all are so right about the stress I would have working in a strange kitchen with 8 or 10 people going in and out all day, preparing meals and all when I'm either working on a cake or trying to keep it in her refrigerator. I feel guilty, and kind of on edge about it, I know she is going to be upset. She is not like those people who overextend and want champagne on a beer budget, she's realistic that way, but she does get what she wants, always. She can really guilt you into it.

Ivycakes, I wish I had you write the email, you worded that so well...

I really can't afford to send someone $300-$800 as a gift for a cake. Spending $300 on a plane ticket where I would get some vacation and fellowship time is one thing, but that wouldn't be the case for this either. As you all have said, I would be too stressed and it would definitely strain our friendship. Heck, I'm stressed just thinking about it.

I love some of Pebbles ideas, cupcake cakes, dummies, etc. so I'll suggest them to my friend, if she's still talking to me of course. I also love the idea of having a baker in McDonough do it and helping pay for the cake. That's a win for the baker, me and my friend, if she can pay for anything over what I can afford. I can easily make the chocolate sea shells her daughter wants on her cake and send them to the baker. Fortunately the daughter only wants sea shells on the cake, so that's pretty easy to send.

Thank you so much for all your support and suggestions. I couldn't even think straight

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ORIGINAL creator of Gelatin Bubbles

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ORIGINAL creator of Gelatin Bubbles

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post #22 of 36
Good for you, this is a bad idea through and through for all the reasons you have identified. Her lack of proper budgeting is not your problem. Don't let her talk you into something you aren't comfortable with, determine what you are willing to do and stick with it. I had a friend ask me to do her wedding cake, no problem. Then I realized she wanted it organic, supplies from the whole foods coop, etc. I decided it was just getting to be too complicated and let her know that. She found a health foods place to make it for her. Win-win for us both. Just politely stick with your guns and hopefully she will move on and find another option. Remember, it isn't your problem to get her a cake, baker, etc. It is hers and the brides.
post #23 of 36
Let us know what happens. icon_surprised.gif
post #24 of 36
"so I feel really bad now about sticking her with no cake"...

No, you aren't sticking her without a cake. She should have budgeted for it. If she truly was a friend, she wouldn't be laying a guilt trip on you. Don't feel bad if you can't do it.
post #25 of 36
Just a side note on expenses I seriously doubt you can get a RT ticket from Calif to Atlanta for $300 either.
You are not obligated to pay anymore for a cake than a regular wedding gift . Like others said her lack of budgeting is not your problem .Dont let her put a guilt trip on you . If she does what kind of friend is that .
post #26 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by QTCakes1

Is this like you life long best friend who gave you a kidney or something. I can not see EVER asking someone to fly across the country to make a cake, and okay, let's say I could deal with that. But then you ask them to fly across the country to sleep on an airbed AND not only will they be making the cake, you also want them to WORK at the wedding, by CUTTING THE CAKE. If the wedding is too much and asking you to go through all these hoops are some of her cost cutting measures, then that's a little selfish. How about you suggest she scale back on the guest list. How many people would this cake before by the way?



thumbs_up.gif If you BARELY know her daughter that makes it worse in my opinion. This seems like a bad idea all together...
Started my business legally February 2012! Commercial kitchen and all!
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Started my business legally February 2012! Commercial kitchen and all!
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post #27 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetflowers

Yeah, yeah, I know, I was caught off guard when she originally asked. And I honestly thought the wedding would be closer to her house and much smaller (she originally told me 50- 80 people).



Oh AND you do AMAZING work, btw!
Started my business legally February 2012! Commercial kitchen and all!
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Started my business legally February 2012! Commercial kitchen and all!
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post #28 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cakery2012

If they cant afford a big wedding they shouldnt expect friends to help pay for it .Its called common sense.
I would tell her just what you said about how much it
would. cost you to travel and take off work .
Its up to you if you want to send a monetary gift.
Her crisis isnt your emergency .



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Started my business legally February 2012! Commercial kitchen and all!
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Started my business legally February 2012! Commercial kitchen and all!
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post #29 of 36
Quote:
Quote:

It's the $300 plane ticket, no sleep, 5 days off work, strange kitchen, no mixer, 5 hour drive and working the reception that's making me want to say no


First I have to say that I read every post and I have to say that you are a GREAT person to even stress yourself out because of your friends mistake.

Second, a true friend would never: a) expect you to be a hero or guilt you into taking care of their responsibilities.
b) Ask you to spend that much money on them as a "favor"
c) make you feel uneasy about saying no to them.

I know how you feel and it sucks so bad, but this lady is not really your friend. I have plenty of people that i've known my entire life and my true friends are the ones that know the answers to my questions before I ask them, the ones who understand what i'm feeling when I don't know how to express it in words, and the ones who don't try to take advantage of me because i'm good at something they need.

If this affects your friendship the way you feel it will, then you were more of a friend to her than she was to you. If she was asking to borrow the money it would be another story. I can picture her face when you told her to order a cake and you could decorate it. I've seen that face and all I could do was walk away and say goodbye. It hurt because I thought we were close but I have a family and I can't give away anything above $100 unless it's for charity and a wedding is not charity. As someone previously posted they could go down to the courthouse and get married.

And your flight wont cost $300 unless you purchased it wayyy in advance. I feel so bad hearing your story. Sorry you are going through this. Hopefully you can work it out.


Edited to add: I appologize if it sounds like I have an attitude, I promise it's not towards you. Your situation just takes me back to mine and it still bothers me.
"Once a Marine Always a Marine" Semper Fi!!!
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"Once a Marine Always a Marine" Semper Fi!!!
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post #30 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetflowers

First, I want to thank you all for the compliments on my cakes, it's very appreciated icon_smile.gif

I'm really torn, but I did send an email today, telling her as gently as I could that I just couldn't fly out and do the cake under the conditions she had. You all are so right about the stress I would have working in a strange kitchen with 8 or 10 people going in and out all day, preparing meals and all when I'm either working on a cake or trying to keep it in her refrigerator. I feel guilty, and kind of on edge about it, I know she is going to be upset. She is not like those people who overextend and want champagne on a beer budget, she's realistic that way, but she does get what she wants, always. She can really guilt you into it.

Ivycakes, I wish I had you write the email, you worded that so well...

I really can't afford to send someone $300-$800 as a gift for a cake. Spending $300 on a plane ticket where I would get some vacation and fellowship time is one thing, but that wouldn't be the case for this either. As you all have said, I would be too stressed and it would definitely strain our friendship. Heck, I'm stressed just thinking about it.

I love some of Pebbles ideas, cupcake cakes, dummies, etc. so I'll suggest them to my friend, if she's still talking to me of course. I also love the idea of having a baker in McDonough do it and helping pay for the cake. That's a win for the baker, me and my friend, if she can pay for anything over what I can afford. I can easily make the chocolate sea shells her daughter wants on her cake and send them to the baker. Fortunately the daughter only wants sea shells on the cake, so that's pretty easy to send.

Thank you so much for all your support and suggestions. I couldn't even think straight

icon_razz.gif



*Hugs* You did the right thing! icon_biggrin.gif Just remember, the hardest part is over now! If she gets a little bit bitter, just chalk it up to her inner Momzilla, and once the wedding has passed she'll come to her senses. icon_wink.gif I think the box of seashells for the cake sounds awesome. It's the personal touches that makes a cake special, so they're still getting a wonderful gift! thumbs_up.gif
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