Ok- I will try to get this scenario into the short version, but I'm not promising anything . I basically have a wedding planner group that I can't seem to get rid of.

1.Did a wedding for them last year and the planner wanted all sorts of "extras", including meeting with them at her office an hour away for a "cattle call." I said absolutely not. They met with all the other bakers, then drove out to me and chose me. The planner was pleased with my product and the cake I produced.

2. Since then the planner and her assistants have asked for free display cakes twice for their show booths, cupcakes for tables, etc all for their promotions. They have asked for discounts, cheesecakes (I don't do cheesecakes) free extra samples, extra meetings...basically extra extra extra. This means I've said NO so many times you'd think they'd get the message. This isn't a point of training your customers, this is a point of a planner who can't seem to understand the rules and policies of other companies.

3. Which brings me to today. The planner emailed 3 months ago to check on a date next year. It was open, it's open on my calendar online so I didn't want to lie about it. Today I receive an email that the planner wants to meet next week for a tasting at a coffee shop an hour away from my home. I have told the planner before that I DON'T DO THAT!

IF I were to choose to come when called like the puppy they think I am, there will be no ending to the things they think they can ask for. While I want to be known for good customer service, I simply think that these ladies don't get it and think they are better than I am. I am beginning to take it personally, and while it is business, I'm having a hard time trying to separate the two.

I simply do NOT need or want the business. I am overflowing as it is, and I know that they are going to be a pain in the rear during the June wedding rush. They expect a discount for the referral, and I have said NO every time. They advertise to their brides that they will make the wedding planning process easier and cheaper, and I get that this is their marketing strategy. Fine, but I don't buy into that strategy, and I've only had one cake from them so why would I discount?

How do I word an email that sets up some boundaries without sounding ticked off? Would it be advisable to send a policy sheet or something, or is there any way to just somehow cut off the relationship without drama?!

That's just it, if you really don't need the business, and would like to not have the headaches, cut 'em loose! I had a falling out with a planner here who thinks she's just the coolest thing on earth, and I'm glad to be rid of her. She always gave out bad or incorrect info about my pricing, suggested things I don't do, and generally just gave me a headache every time I had to deal with her. So glad to be DONE!

I'm not sure why you want to cut off the relationship in the first place, it sounds like the only extra draw on your time is the time spent saying "no". If you'd like you can reiterate the process for ordering a cake and your policies, but I doubt that will change their behavior.

If I were in your situation I would accept the order, continue to tell them "no" when necessary, and charge them a higher price.

And I wouldn't say I cut ties with her, but I certainly don't promote her business, contact her out of the blue, chat with her, invite her to my functions, none of it. If she was to ever contact me again, it would be very short and to the point. I'd be glad to help your client, please forward me their information. That's about it.

You're right jason, I'm getting my undies in a bundle because someone keeps forcing me to be the big bad meenie and say NO all the time.

That is exactly what is/was bothering me. At some point, I think these people are going to say, "geez, she's SOOO inflexible! Time to post bad reviews, etc."

Wish I could charge a higher price, my prices are all clearly posted on my website.

Say YES to everything... for a price:

So the answer is, word the email.... "Happy to do that for you for $XXXX. Or, you can conform to my standard policies and do __________. I pride myself in great customer service so I am pleased to offer you these custom services for the above quoted fee. I appreciate your business!"

Just make sure you are willing to actually do the service if the customer or planner agrees to the added cost. We've had instances in the past (mostly involving deliveries outside of our usual delivery area) where the customer has agreed to pay massive additional fees for the convenience.

Yes, less no's, more positive "I can do this instead, or can do this for $$"...whatever it takes.

just like with kids, start your sentence with 'yes I can if you do this...', rather than start with no.

I'd forget about just charging her extra, it sounds like she's just a pain in the butt and will always be, no matter how much you charge her.

Just tell her that you can't work with them anymore because they have too many "procedures" that are outside what your normal services are. Say that you think they'd be better served if they found someone whose business fit better with theirs. If you don't need the business, why bother dealing with them at all if it's easier to tell them that you can't work with them? Then refer them to someone you don't like.

Yeah, that would work too.

johnson6ofus- I love your approach. Absolutely. love. it. Its a good way to not only appear compliant, but also to help them understand that they are asking you to bend boundaries and policies and they should think twice before doing so.

But yeah, costume has hit it on the head, they are simply a pain in the butt and I'm not sure I'm ready to work with them on a regular basis even if they paid me extra for the extra services.

I had another tasting request at the same time as their requested time, so I was able to gracefully turn them down and give them an alternative date (at my site), so they are looking at the calendar and will let me know.

I think if they hadn't asked me for discounts on cakes I wouldn't have as much of a problem being accommodating. I DON'T discount cakes. I've told them that, and yet they still ask for discounts. It ticks me off when I have to be the bad guy all the time and tell them NO. But I guess I should just suck it up!

costumeczar is a lady after my own heart... but..... we all work for $$$$. Pay me enough, and I will "bend over" based on just how much $$$ we are talking about.

Pay me $100K and I will be happy to come over and clean your toilet. Seriously, immorality aside, as long as you are willing to pay me a fair or even excessive compensation, why should I complain?

Will you stay up all night, and work straight through the weekend, and stress out by adding my cake as the "overload" cake on your schedule? No? What if I paid you 5 times your normal rate? Hmmmm? Face it--- we'd ALL consider that option.

Drive out and meet at a coffee shop? Why not? Pay me for 3 hours time, gas and wear and tear, babysitter, etc... and my fee is $_______. I guess I can think or worse ways to spend 3 hours....and if I am being well compensated, why not...

Some people ARE willing to pay for "extras", and you can offer them- for a price. Now the ones that want 27 "extra freebies"? No thanks...I am not a charity, I am a business.

Wait...the wedding planner wants to meet for a tasting at a coffee shop? Um...I may be wrong, but I believe that coffee shops may have policies against bringing outside food into their shop. That might spare you the meeting right there.

That aside, stick it to their wallets - and to your guns. "No" means NO. Too bad people don't seem to get that concept much anymore.

Maybe send them a PDF document--so it's more "important" than an e-mail--titled, "Jenmat's New Tasting & Vendor Discount Policies".

"As of June 1, 2011, JenMat's official policies regarding X,Y Z, have changed......"

And then go on to take each one of the things that they've asked for that has caused you to say "No" and state a policy that makes it clear that you won't be doing what they've asked.

Make sure it's clear that there'll be NO exceptions for ANYONE and encourage them to refer to the document whenever considering making requests for X,Y, or Z in the future.

You just need to get them to say to themselves, "Well, don't call Jenmat for that because IT'S AGAINST HER POLICY."

For some people, if it ain't in writing, it can be talked away.

Good luck!
rae

Quite frankly, I don't see a problem with calling the owner of this company and requesting a meeting with them, stating that there are some questions that have come up in several previous conversations and you want to take an opportunity to discuss, in one conversation, YOUR business policies and answer any questions that they may have. I would then begin by telling them that you truly appreciate the opportunity to do business with them, however you have some concerns that you do not offer many of the services that they have asked about, built into your business model, nor do you forsee adding those services (like traveling to their office for cake tastings or -gasp!- "cattle calls") in the future. I would then tell them that as far as discounts are concerned, that you have done market analysis(I assume you have, if you are in business) and that you know that not only are you competitive in pricing, but you are actually a bit lower than average market. And, in order to be able to maintain that value to all of your customers, you do not offer discounts to anyone, nor do you do____________(list the things you don't offer, like "free" display cakes for them to keep at their office, etc. etc. . .)
At some point I would be blatantly honest and tell them that it makes you extremely uncomfortable when they continue to ask for various discounts and concessions after you have already explained your policies to them several times in several different conversations, for several different items, and that you don't like to feel like you are having to be the "bad guy" by saying no. Let them know that you appreciate what they are trying to do with their business model, yet if you are to continue doing business with them, that you need to feel like YOUR business policies are being respected also. Finally, I would tell them that you were getting to the point where you were starting to dread taking their phone calls and that you were truly considering refusing their business. But, that you hope that by being honest with them and having this professional conversation with them, that your two companies can continue to do business together, and that it can be a business relationship that is both comfortable and lucrative for you both.

Hopefully, by being open and honest with these people you can get this relationship back on track. If not, well...you can tell them to hit the road with a clear conscience that YOU did the grown-up, professional thing by discussing the issues that concern you and giving them an opportunity to correct their behavior. It is then up to them whether they choose to respect you or not.

By the way, Jenmat, I just wanted to add that you have my absolute FAVORITE website of all the ones I've seen from fellow CCer's. Even though it's not "over the top", it is VERY easy to understand. I love the fact that you include the number of servings as well as the final price in the description of each cake...brilliant idea! And, beautiful work! I can see why you don't "need" their business.