Some people are just flipping CHEAP and there is nothing you can do about it. Furthermore, it's not your problem, it's theirs! In my opinion, if they can't pay what you charge, they can get it somewhere else. I've never found myself wishing I'd have taken the undercut cake job that cost ME money to complete instead of spending that time with my children!
I TRULY understand that some people don't *get* how much a cake costs, and some people really are perfectly happy with a cheap WalMart (for example) cake, and they are more than welcome to have that. Some people don't find cake to be nearly as important as we do. Sucks to be them! 
But I have learned that if I continue to provide my quality, people who appreciate it will pay for it without batting an eyelash. The next time someone tells you they've budgeted $40 for 100 ppl to eat cake, give them Sam's clubs number and don't look back. 
Oh, and if you're a bridesmaid, I"m sure you probably have to purchase a dress that she picks out...when she does, why not tell her you really weren't planning on spending more than X amount (I mean, it's just fabric, right?).[/quote]
Thats too funny!
You can put the cost of the cake on your credit card and she can put the dress on hers and we'll call it even!!!
Out of all the cakes I have posted here on CC, only 5 of them have been paid for by a 3rd/the receiving party. I've done many other cakes that I haven't been posting, but again, most of them have been gifts. I admit that I'm a sucker for my nieces and family, whom have received the majority of the cakes.
I love doing things for other people, but lately it has become overwhelming. Here's an example:
I'm making a cake for my mother's surprise 60th birthday party. Now, I have no intentions of charging anyone for this cake. This is something I want to do for my mother. It's going to be a 3 tiered fondant covered and custom flavored cake. I've already bought $150 in ingredients, decorating supplies and molds. It's going to be at my sister's place.
My sister recently told me that she's going to make it a potluck so she doesn't have to spend more than $40 on food and drinks. Then she asks me to bring my hummus, tabouleh and my apricot-mango salsa (all made from scratch) that my mother likes so much. I haven't agreed yet, but I'm appalled that she would ask me of this after she knows how much work I'm going to spend on the cake itself.
On top of that, I'm relocating the very next week and will have a lot of my things packed. She's never offered anything towards the ingredients for any of the cakes I've made her, her husband and her daughters. (Just a side note: My mom, my sister's husband, my nieces, my aunt and my best friend all have birthdays in June.... I'm sure you can sense the workload!)
This is just one example out of many. I've come to the conclusion that it's your friends and family who will feel "entitled" to take advantage of the relationship and expect the best deals or free cakes. You can handle this one of two ways: You can eat it, love your friends and family and know that you have done something nice for someone or you can stand up to them, tell them that you love them, but you just don't have the means and finances to support such requests at the time.
Had a similar experience recently with a friend who was renewing wedding vows. Because she hadn't had a "real" wedding the first time was going all out. UNTIL it came to the cake. Wanted a 3 tiered wedding cake with roses, buttercream.
I couldn't do it so referred to a friend who has just started the biz. She asked what to charge and I told her a MINIMUM of $85.00. Cake would serve about 75 people. Called me back in about 5 minutes and said the lady told her she couldn't afford that. Really? You have THREE MOTORCYCLES in your garage, not to mention a car and a truck, a lovely home, go anywhere and do anything you want!
She had told me that her sister could do it, but, she didn't know if she would. Yeah, Gee, wonder why? LOL I told her to get her sister to show her how to bake the cake and do it herself. "That way you'll save all that money!" LOLOL Wonder what she did?
Every caker should have this hung on the kitchen door.
The Caker's Credo
A cake is NOT just flour and water.
If you mix flour and water you get GLUE.
The miracle of cake is that you take the glue,
add eggs and sugar, and you get cake.
Where did the glue go you ask?
You know very well where it went.
It's what makes the cake stick to your hips.
One should be willing to pay at least as much for the cake
as one is going to pay for the gym membership
that will help remove it from one's hips.
LOL..too funny 
I love the Caker's Credo that was posted - Way too Appropriate!!!
Also, OP think of it like this, if you worked at a clothing store and you were to be paid $10 bucks flat an hour and at the end of your 40 hour week your boss (who was also your BEST friend) decided that since they had only sold enough clothes to pay you $5 bucks an hour, would you be satisfied taking $200 and calling it even?
Don't short sell yourself, you are worth every penny of what you are asking for and if your friend was a good friend, she would already know that!
So thankful for being able to read threads like this before I even encounter friends who take advantage! All the advice is wonderful and I hope I will be able to say no when the time comes! =)
Your true friends won't take advantage. As for the rest, someone here has said in the past that you teach people how to treat you. Truer words were never spoken.
The first time someone asks you to make a cake, the first words out of your mouth have to be "what's your budget". THEN, and only then, do you ask "how many portions". THEN, and only then, do you tell them what their budget will get them for that many portions. Right there you've taught them that you value yourself as a professional, the rest should be easy peasy.
People will complain and make demands even when you are giving them completely FREE cake.
Example: The little community where I grew up had a "reunion" picnic in May 2010 for anyone who had ever lived there. I was unable to attend last year because I had a previous commitment. However, when I looked at the pictures later, they had bought a grocery store cake which was really ugly.
Anyway, this year, I called the committee chairman and volunteered to be on the committee and to make and donate the cake(s) with whatever design they wanted. At each committee meeting, we discussed the BBQ caterer, the T-shirts, the programs, the location, the band, etc. AND the cake. I asked questions about what they wanted the design to be and how many to serve. I was told they had about 120 people the previous year... and they "threw cake away" so I should not bring that much cake as they did not want any leftovers. They also told me there would definitely be other desserts provided by individuals who ALWAYS bring brownies, cookies, cupcakes, etc.
At each meeting the number of registered people climbed and in the course of the discussions, I asked how much cake should I REALLY bring. I was told repeatedly, "bring half what was brought last year (meaning they wanted ONLY a quarter sheet) because NO ONE will eat it." The printed event program was to list all donors with a value of the donation beside the gift. So I said, each one of my half-sheet cakes is $100 (a bargain imo) and they looked at me like I had lost my mind. Pfft. I said, "what does it matter to you? It's a GIFT!"
The week before the picnic, we had our final meeting and was told they had 185 registered and "to shut the hell up" about the cake. At that point, I almost decided to back out of doing the cake with a "sorry, I sprained my wrist" sort of excuse. But I am far more professional than that. So, as I had already planned, I went with my gut and baked 2 half-sheets, each one 1/3 vanilla, 1/3 marble, and 1/3 chocolate inside. I iced one in vanilla and the other in chocolate, then decorated to exactly match the T-shirt design.
When I got to the picnic setup that morning , though all the tables had been prepared for the crowd, and 4 tables for the BBQ caterer, they had not set up a table for my cakes. So GLAD I brought my own table. I set up my table and got my cakes from the car, and was followed by one committee member who said (in a somewhat snotty tone) "I gotta SEE this HIGH $$$ cake."
I replied, "You mean the FREE cakes?"
She said "Whatever." She looked at the cakes, shrugged, and walked away. I had the brief urge to take the cakes to a local homeless shelter.
The program listed NO $$$ amounts by any gift. My name was listed as the cake donor, which in retrospect (given their attitude) surprises me.
When it was time to serve the cake, about 200 people had registered/paid to eat. So I cut each of the two cakes into 60 servings, and it was ALL gone in less than 30 minutes, not a crumb left, with people continuing to come and ask for cake. I felt bad for them. There were NO other desserts provided by anyone. As far as I know, none of the committee members got any cake. Serves them right. Bunch of jerks. LOL
Then they had a wrap up party, for which I was going to provide a cake for the committee (because I am nice) but I had a conflict on the last-minute-date they picked to do it. NO cake for them! LOLOLOLOL
I am still trying to decide if I will make cakes for the picnic next year. I probably will, because it's for the community, NOT the committee. Next year, I'll make bigger cakes, probably 2-layer half-sheets, and it will be me telling them to shut the **** up.
In retrospect, I think the problem was I treated them like PAYING customers. I should have just done what I wanted from the outset, using my own experience as my guide, and I wouldn't have felt so used.
You can only be walked on if you lay down on the floor and allow it. Do cakes as gifts (or for cost) because you want to, not because someone tries to whine you into doing something against your will. Shame on them.
As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.
She decided she wants the cupcakes now. I'll do them and my labour costs can be her engagement present, saves me donating money to her honeymoon which was what was requested as the gift on the invite to her party (I didn't even know you were supposed to give gifts at engagements parties, I thought it was just the wedding!)
I'm usually quite good with this, for example another friend asked me how much I charge for cakes and I said I don't turn my oven on for less than £40 (and that's bare minimum, extras cost extra), and when they said that's not within their budget I explained that I don't mass produce nor can I purchase bulk ingredients and I didn't cave for them.
I guess I considered the engagement cake friend to be close (Close enough that I am going to be a bridesmaid at the wedding), and that's why it's annoying me.
Did you get a discount on the dress you have to wear, the shoes, the hair do, the make up? I doubt it! And as for her asking for gifts at the engagment party...wanting to put the cake supplies on credt cards, she doesn't have the money honey!!! Don't put too much effort into the cupcakes, doesn't sound like she deserves it!
This forum comes at the right moment for me. I am feeling so bummed as I have a close friend who helped me make a site for my cakes (she's way more computer savy than I am) and as a thank you I made a 3 tier cake for her daughters nomination party which she was really grateful for.
Now comes the bit I'm annoyed about. Someone contacted me to ask about prices etc and I responded with the details when I get a follow up email from my friend (bc she set up the site she also administers it so gets all mail) to tell me that it is a friend of hers and could I give her a good deal?
Excuse me?
My main job is in IT (caking is on the side although would love to give up the IT job) and your statement above that your friend administers your website so therefore she gets all the mail and (obviously) reads it raised red flags to me. There's absolutely no reason for anyone, other than you, to receive and read the mail you get thorugh your website. Administration should relate only to the design and management of the site itself when you have updates to do regarding content, or issues with publishing, or possibly your domain name if needed. The email is separate from the website and she should not have access to that. Why does she need to be privy to any business you're doing and prices you're quoting? The fact that she had the audacity to send you a followup email to an response you sent regarding a quote request and asked for you to discount your price for HER friend is impertinent and she's crossed a line as far as I'm concerned. It sounds like you might be acessing your mail through your hosting company (that's how I do mine) and therefore use Internet Explorer or Firefox to log in and access your mail. And therefore she's logging in as well. Change your password and don't tell her what it is. If she squawks and ask why you changed it, ask her why she needs it. For me this is all security. Some of you may think I'm being overly anal about this, but as someone who manages an email system, I'm very security conscious when it comes to who should have access. And the fact that her behaviour annoys you says that you don't think she should have that access either.
As someone who ROUTINELY requests discounts at stores, for automotive services and barters with friends (exchanging favors, etc.) - I don't see the problem here. Everyone is looking to save a buck. If that was more than she wants to pay (or can afford to pay), then why be offended? She wants to pay X, you can't do it for less than Y... don't do the cake and move on.
I have never understood why so many cake decorators take the slightest perceived slight and their first thought is to complain about it on the internet. LET. IT. GO.
LOLLL - If someone blinks at my prices - i smile and say
"thats ok - my cakes aren't for everyone because not everyone can afford one of my cakes"
Bluehue.
THIS SHOULD BE TATTOOED ON EVERY CAKERS FOREHEAD.
A $20 Walmart cake to celebrate is great! I can't afford a chris garret (sp?) cake for $1,000+. So I buy what I can afford. But to assume and treat a $20 cake like a $1,000 cake is ridiculous.
Many of you talented cakers are in a league of your own, and certainly not for "the masses", including uninformed friends and relatives that think you can "whip it up".
She decided she wants the cupcakes now. I'll do them and my labour costs can be her engagement present, saves me donating money to her honeymoon which was what was requested as the gift on the invite to her party (I didn't even know you were supposed to give gifts at engagements parties, I thought it was just the wedding!)
They actually requested money for their honeymoon as gifts on the invitation??? That's about as tacky as it gets. I'd give them a book on etiquette for the shower so they can learn some manners before the wedding. You're not supposed to mention gifts at all on invitations, whether it's the shower or the wedding.
There is a friend of my boyfriend's whose wedding we are going to in a couple weeks. I had mentioned the idea of me making their cake until they kept talking about how much they were spending on everything else for the wedding (which is completely beyond their means) and could only get the price of the cake they wanted down to $300. The next time they mentioned me making the cake they wanted to see how much cheaper I could do it for. I just told them what a great deal they were getting on the cake they had picked out. And now they recently made a comment on Facebook that they were going to use all the money they get at the wedding to buy a brand new car (also completely beyond their means.) I think we'll be purchasing a lovely blender for their wedding gift.
I have never understood why so many cake decorators take the slightest perceived slight and their first thought is to complain about it on the internet. LET. IT. GO.
EVERYONE complains. Even Mr. Rogers got pissed off once in a while. Sometimes you take it, and you take it, and you 'get over it' until you're about to choke someone, then you bitch about it on the internet so that you DON'T end up in prison. It's not my 'first thought' to complain, but that's what happens when I'm at the breaking point. It's all good. We're here for each other as support and to indentify/connect with. We're not just sympathizng, we're empathizing. Not a dang thing wrong with that.
I spoke to my sister about it as she knows her, and my sister said "No cake for her then. Stop bending over backwards for her, she's going to keep saying she doesn't want to spend the money until she gets free cake."
I'm just taking it to heart because you wouldn't think friends would try to extort you. If anything I would say "Here's £70 just in case you need to pick up any little things, any change (which would be a maximum of £8!!) you keep as a thank you" But instead they just want to get the cheapest deal
Unfortunately, people are more self centered these days and don't care if they are taking advantage of a "friend". After all, you should feel honored to do this for her. 
I don't mean to sound so negative but people seem to feel entitled to whatever they want. That's why a true friend who doesn't take advantage is so special.
It's up to you. I don't think that you're being unreasonable at all. I think that you're giving her a heck of a deal. Too bad for her if she can't see your kindness for what it is.
I have never understood why so many cake decorators take the slightest perceived slight and their first thought is to complain about it on the internet. LET. IT. GO.
EVERYONE complains. Even Mr. Rogers got pissed off once in a while. Sometimes you take it, and you take it, and you 'get over it' until you're about to choke someone, then you bitch about it on the internet so that you DON'T end up in prison. It's not my 'first thought' to complain, but that's what happens when I'm at the breaking point. It's all good. We're here for each other as support and to indentify/connect with. We're not just sympathizng, we're empathizing. Not a dang thing wrong with that.
Very well said!
Thanks SugarFrosted. And I certainly mean no disrespect with my reply, simply hoping to shed a little light to anyone who may not get the point of some of the things we share here.
I'll give you an good example... sometimes I complain that my husband doesn't take out the garbage when it's full, and I have to remind him. Now, he doesn't beat me, cheat on me, abuse our children, or emotionally abuse me. He is a good provider, and never tells me not to spend our money, etc. But... that garbage still ticks me off once in a while, so I crab to someone who would understand... my BFF who also has a great hubby who has memory issues about the trash can. I recognize that in the grand scheme, my garbage issue is not a huge problem, but if that's what is ticking me off at the time... I am SO gonna vent about it! And when I get done I usually follow it up with, "But if these are my problems... I lead a truly blessed life!" I can totally recognize how good I have it.
I was always taught "Educate, don't berate." What's the point in simply complaining about stupid people are for not realize how much a cake costs, or how much notice is needed, or any of the other various and sundry complaints that get posted about here ad nauseum.
It's one thing to get upset over an obvious insult, and quite another to continually get upset when people are ignorant about something they have never done themselves. Reminds me of someone who acted like I was dumb for not knowing how to change a tire... (DUH! I have AAA for that! LOL!)
...or any of the other various and sundry complaints that get posted about here ad nauseum.
But you see, just because it happened to Sally and she posted a thread about it doesn't mean that it won't tick me off when it happens to me. I may not have even SEEN Sally's thread. If you hate listening to people complain, the absolutely glorious part is that you don't HAVE to listen!! When you see a post titled "Stupid Cheap Jerks" for example... you pretty much know where it's going... click away young padawan! But, it is absolutely just as much your right to hate these posts as it is their right to post them. Ahhhh democracy... I love you so.
And really, if I'm going to be annoyed by a topic being posted repeatedly, it's going to be something like, "Which is better... box mix or scratch?" Or some other topic that has been beaten until well incorporated, and has produced some of the MOST polarizing arguments on this entire board. You simply can't win with that conversation. But I often feel comforted by threads like this one... it's the whole, "Someone else has been to Suckville too, and bought a t-shirt!"
I guess you're missing my point. My point is this - maybe it's not the customer/relative/friend who has the problem... maybe the problem is within the person complaining and perhaps we are doing them a disservice by coddling them and agreeing with their point of view ("Those idiots! How DARE they not know how much time/money/blood, sweat & tears we put into our cakes!!!")
So while it's not that I get tired of seeing the threads, I get tired of reading with numerous posts agreeing with the OP instead of telling her that perhaps she may have overreacted or misjudged the situation.
Oh for heaven's sake, WykdGud. Sometimes we just listen. We don't need to always problem solve. We empathize. If you don't like this sort of thread, just don't read them.
Ok, THAT I can understand and agree with to an extent. I do often wonder when some people tell the story of how they did everything perfectly and the cake fell over, and everyone quickly agrees the customer must've *done* something. (I am NOT pointing out anyone in particular, that was just a generic example!!) It all goes back to that whole idea of sticking up for each other, which I get, but do agree that sometimes we're to blame. Sometimes we simply screw up. But, we don't always want to admit we did. And, if you only know what the caker tells you, it's easy to believe it was allllll the customer's fault! I know there have been a few times in past years where someone has posted that the customer wasn't happy with the cake and they post a pic and I think... "Yah, I'd have been ticked too." Of course everyone tells them it's not THAT bad... but sometimes it is!
Now comes the bit I'm annoyed about. Someone contacted me to ask about prices etc and I responded with the details when I get a follow up email from my friend (bc she set up the site she also administers it so gets all mail) to tell me that it is a friend of hers and could I give her a good deal?
Excuse me?
First of all, someone that is an administrator on the site and receives the emails does NOT have to read them. That's pretty much invasion of privacy. She has NO NEED to read your emails.
Secondly, I would simply tell her that you do not give "deals" to any one except YOUR family, friends, etc(whomever you actually DO give them to) and that you made HER cake as a thank you for helping you with your website.
Further, that you are a little offended that she is monitoring your emails as part of her admin of the website. That the job of an admin is to make sure that there are no typographical errors, update photos, and make changes as requested by the website owner (you!) And, that you would appreciate if for now on she would re-route the emails to come only to you.
After all, if she is going to be monitoring the site for all of HER friends and promising them that "SHE can get them a deal because SHE did the website" (and, you KNOW that must be what happened in this situation, right?) then there is no way that you will be able to have a successful business if your webmaster is promising people substantial discounts on your behalf.
I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds here, but it's things like this that just burn me UP!! The nerve of some people!!
This forum comes at the right moment for me. I am feeling so bummed as I have a close friend who helped me make a site for my cakes (she's way more computer savy than I am) and as a thank you I made a 3 tier cake for her daughters nomination party which she was really grateful for.
Now comes the bit I'm annoyed about. Someone contacted me to ask about prices etc and I responded with the details when I get a follow up email from my friend (bc she set up the site she also administers it so gets all mail) to tell me that it is a friend of hers and could I give her a good deal?
Excuse me?
My main job is in IT (caking is on the side although would love to give up the IT job) and your statement above that your friend administers your website so therefore she gets all the mail and (obviously) reads it raised red flags to me. There's absolutely no reason for anyone, other than you, to receive and read the mail you get thorugh your website. Administration should relate only to the design and management of the site itself when you have updates to do regarding content, or issues with publishing, or possibly your domain name if needed. The email is separate from the website and she should not have access to that. Why does she need to be privy to any business you're doing and prices you're quoting? The fact that she had the audacity to send you a followup email to an response you sent regarding a quote request and asked for you to discount your price for HER friend is impertinent and she's crossed a line as far as I'm concerned. It sounds like you might be acessing your mail through your hosting company (that's how I do mine) and therefore use Internet Explorer or Firefox to log in and access your mail. And therefore she's logging in as well. Change your password and don't tell her what it is. If she squawks and ask why you changed it, ask her why she needs it. For me this is all security. Some of you may think I'm being overly anal about this, but as someone who manages an email system, I'm very security conscious when it comes to who should have access. And the fact that her behaviour annoys you says that you don't think she should have that access either.
That was my point EXACTLY!! I guess I should have waited until I read through the entire thread before commenting on it, since you seemed to have covered it much better than I did...but, I was so livid when I read that the person that set up the site had the audacity to actually log in and read personal business emails, I just couldn't hold my tongue. So I had to comment on it right after I read it! Your idea of changing the password is brilliant. Great advice!!
So while it's not that I get tired of seeing the threads, I get tired of reading with numerous posts agreeing with the OP instead of telling her that perhaps she may have overreacted or misjudged the situation.
Haven't you heard? telling someone they overreacted gets you labeled as a big "meanie" and a lecture on how we're all suppose to "support" each other by hugging and coddling each other. No WAY are we suppose to be honest!
I agree with your statement above. It's too bad it's frowned upon by many of our fellow cakers.
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Cake Central exists to provide a postive, fun, and safe environment for cake decorators of all experience and skill level to share ideas, tips, techniques, and personal stories. Cake Central is meant to be a haven away from the negativity in the rest of our lives.
IF the above is what you are looking for, Cake Central is the place for you.
MYTH 1: AT CC BE CAREFUL! YOU HAVE TO BE SYRUPY SWEET
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The only requirement is that you do it respectfully. If you are unable to respond respectfully, or with a basic common courtesy, do not respond at all.
There have been many forum posts started that will go on for pages and pages of people sharing their different opinions and discussing the topic, and making their disagreements in a civil and mature way.
I shouldn't need to, but I applaud those people for having basic decency toward other human beings.
In an ideal world, we would all be respectful, and moderating would not be a necessity, but the reality is, not all members here have shown the ability to maintain a respectful nature, and therefore moderating discussions is required.
WHAT's THE DEAL WITH COMPLIMENTING SOMEONE's POORLY DONE CAKE?
If you personally feel that someone does not deserve a compliment, simply do not comment!
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THANK YOU everyone for creating a safe place for me, that I truly enjoy every day.
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