I enjoy making cakes, especially for the kids in my family I mostly do it for my nieces for their birthdays and they get really excited about it. Cakes are my gifts to them and it gives me an opportunity to experiment with different flavours. My family never expects me to make cakes and they are extremely appreciative whenever I do. The problem is my inlaws. I dont make cakes for them because I dont enjoy it, they are very critical and they really dont appreciate it anyways. The one I did do my MIL told me that FILs birthday is coming up and I should make a nice cake. Since I had wanted to try a new flavour, I made one for him. All I got was criticism it wasnt a white cake, I dont like this icing. . . So I said to my MIL - ok, no more cake for you! She looked at me taken aback I told her that only she complains and that everyone else appreciates the time and effort I put in, so therefore no cake for her. So when my MILs birthday came up, my SIL (her daughter) called me and asked if I would make a superwoman themed cake. I just said no, I think its easier if you just order it. (I did get my MIL a nice gift though, crystal earrings since she likes jewellery). But a few days later I had to hear it from my DH (obviously SIL had said stuff to him) that I was being petty and shouldve made a cake for MILs birthday. The thing is though I dont enjoy making cake for them, it becomes a dreaded obligation rather than a fun hobby. Also, Ive been in his family long enough to know that if I do something once or twice, it most definitely is expected again and again and I dont like that pressure either. I just like to do it when I want to, and how I want to, and my side of the family is quite grateful when I do it and when I dont, they just order one without a second thought to it. Now it feels very awkward whenever my inlaws come over and Im working on a cake!!! (and they do come over quite a bit). I feel like I have to hide the cake! I hid one in the dishwasher last week and played dumb when they said the house smells nice as DH was rolling his eyes at me!

That's a tough one! I feel for you. Either way, it's a no-win situation!

I wouldn't bother hiding it from them. You told MIL why you didn't want to make the cake, she can do with that information what she wants. What did she say to that? Did she every mention that you didn't bake her a birthday cake?

I'm curious is MIL like this about everything? There are some people that no matter what you do you just will never please. There are people that are just negative about everything.

With those types you either just have to let it roll off your back, or do what you are do, not put yourself in a situation to be criticized.

If you are doing cakes that are free, it is completely your right to pick and choose who you make cakes for.

Holy moly, she sounds exactly like my MIL. Since mine lives several states away I don't have the cake problem you described. I think honesty is the best. Sit her down, explain to her what you just told us. Tell her you feel like you're obligated and it takes the fun out of caking. At least then you cake make cakes with a clear conscious without having to hide them. Tell her how you feel and let the chips fall where they may.

Best of luck you you¢¾

Can you say 'Bi-Polar" I had an aunt like that. She wouldn't keep her medication levels checked.

Wow, your situation seems kind of similar to mine! My family always raves about my cakes and appreciates how much time and effort went into them(my grandmother did cakes for a living).
As for my in-laws, only my FIL and husband really appreciate my cakes. My SIL doesn't like them b/c they're not store bought(really, you like mass-produced frozen cakes??) and my MIL tries to tell me how I should do them. For instance, for my hubby's 30th I had a great theme planned(a poker theme) and she told me not to bother doing a fancy cake and just do something normal. She just kept going on about how she didn't want fondant b/c SIL doesn't like it and on and on until she basically crushed my spirit and I didn't want to do it anymore. So I no longer do cakes for them b/c they just don't appreciate it and it's not worth my time and money.
Keep your head up and only do it if you enjoy it. And odn't hide the cakes. Keep them out so that your MIL sees how many people truly enjoy what you do!!

I'm so sorry you are in this predicament. This is one of those people that you cannot please or even figure out. I wouldn't waste time letting her moods and criticism cause you any turmoil (I know, easier said than done). I say make cakes for those who appreciate it so it will continue to be a joy to you. Who would have thought playing with food could be so fun!

Let me make sure I understand this ...... YOU are the one being "petty" because you chose not to spend your time and money making a FREE cake which would save SIL some money in spite of the fact that they've made it pretty clear they think your cakes are "not good"??????

Re: expected every time: I hear ya on that one. I have family members (my side) who have a high level of expectation. I describe it as "If I have $5 the day the before payday, and they're broke on the day before payday, then somehow they figure that I should give them my last $5 and will actually get mad if I don't, calling me selfish and stingy." There is no dealing with people like that. Seriously. There's a reason I live 75 miles away from all of 'em!!!

samgill99, I am SUPER happy I could brighten your day! You'll have to let me know what your friend thinks of your new favorite name for the brainless folk!!

Debi, do I EVER know what you are talking about. I have a sister who is 5 years older than me and thinks it's my job to pay her way through life. I finally cut her off at four thousand dollars, which, might I add, was racked up a few hundred at a time... even twenty here and twenty there. But, I cut her off so she moved 7 hours away!! Well, good luck finding someone else that will pay your way! People. Sheesh. 99% of them are so stupid, and I'm not excluding myself from that statistic!

[quote="Coral3"]

Quote:

Originally Posted by momto2pottsy



And to the OP: Don't hide cake in the dishwasher!...what's gonna happen if someone hits 'start'? That would not be pretty!

Yeah that would be quite horrible! I can see that happening too - I have a 5 yr old that loves to press the buttons on the dishwasher!!!


Debi, your lucky you live 75 miles away from problem family. Unfortunately, mine are just a 2 minute drive or a 25 minute walk away (and they love to take a walk and stop by).

I just got back from hanging out with my friend this evening and we were both in tears laughing so hard! She has been trying to get me to avoid the word "stupid" for years now. She says it does me no good thinking or saying it. So today I told her that she's right, I will never use that word again when referring to certain people. She was quite impressed at first until I said they are not stupid, they are dumb turds!!!

Hahahahahahah!!!!!!, so I made my MIL a two tiered bday cake on the 15th. I figured I coud practice my smoothing butter creme skills..which need a lot of practice btw... And could try out a new chocolate cake and ganach recipe since she loves chocolate. So , I make what I thought to be a cute cake with hand drawn dolphins swimming on the sides. After she went home, she told my SIL "it was delicious , but she needs more practice"... Duh..that is why you got a two tiered cake for free....not to mention, the party was a last minute surprise decided on wednesday for Sunday. I did all of the cooking shopping, preparing and the CAKE!!!! Anyway....it must be a MIL thing...it's funny how some who have no idea what it takes to pull this off are the quickest to tell you how much practice is needed.....lol lol

Oh cripes jacscakes!! Perfect example of wtf??? I mean, come on... it's a free cake, you're lucky it didn't look like someone already threw it up!

samgill... from now on, when you're standing in line at a store and the ignorant person in front of you is really ticking you off... you'll just giggle to yourself and think "dumb turd... dumb turd... dumb turd..." and all of a sudden you won't feel so angry. Orrrrr... you'll actually scream it out and be 'gently' ushered out of the store. It's all good.