Phone conversation today...

Me: Hello, such and such cake store
Bride's friend: Hi, my friend is getting married in May and I was calling to see if you make wedding cakes?
Me: Yes I do. What is your friend's wedding date?
Bride's friend: May 17th
Me: Oh boy, let me check my calendar, that's awful close.
Bride's friend: No, it's like 3 weeks away!
Me: I can call you back shortly once I have checked my calendar
Bride's friend: No, why don't I call and tell her you do make wedding cakes and give her your website so she can look on there first to save some time?
Me: Great! Here is my website...

Phone rings 5 minutes later.

Me: such and such bakery
Bride to be: HI! My friend just called you and I want to talk about my wedding cake (loud, ear piercing, blood curdling scream comes through the phone)
BTB--sorry, that's my kids fighting.
Me: eyes bugging out from ears ringing
BTB: so we decided to throw this wedding together last minute and the whole town thinks they need to come. I need a cake to feed at least 75 people, 3 tiers with some springy type flowers. Plus I heard you do decorated cookies, so I want 40 of those and 2 dozen cupcakes with a rose and leaves on each one. How much is all that?
Me: madly punching numbers on my calculator---x amount of $$, plus tax.
And I do need a commitment immediately in order to confirm this date on my calendar...
BTB: WOW. Hmm, O.K., I need to call you back. Do you have pictures I can look at or a website?
Me: Sigh. Yes, here is my website...

Phone rings 2 minutes later

BTB: O.K., I called my fiance and he said go ahead with whatever I want.
Me: So the way I require payment at this late date is by the such and such online payment system--- (blood curdling shrieking, followed by loud crash and ear splitting crying)
Me: Is everything O.K.--hello, hello?
BTB: arggghhhh I'll call you back <click>

2 minutes later the phone rings

BTB: So I called my girlfriend and she is going to pick everything up from you the day before and I will send you a couple of money orders.
Me: So, you mean you will be sending the money orders today?
BTB: No, I mean once she brings me the stuff.
Me: Oh look, I have another call coming in...can you call me back please?

Phone rings 5 minutes later

BTB: I called my aunt while I was waiting to call you back and she said she can just make me a bunch of sheet cakes, so I won't need the cupcakes from you.
Me: Wow, I am SO sorry, that last call just booked the very last space I had open for that day. Good luck with your wedding and thanks for calling!

Wow! You definitely dodged a bullet with that one! Too funny!

*Giggles*

Here was mine:

Her: I'm having bridal shower and I bought 8" cake plates and so I want 6" round individual cakes at each of the tables.
Me: A 6" round feeds about 10 so at $3 per serving that's $30 per cake.
Her: But there are only going to be 6 people at each table. That should be $18.
Me: The cake serves 10 and you have to pay for all 10 servings.
Her: But only 6 people are going to be eating the cake!

Sigh...
She about had a heart attack when she told me she was having 8 tables and I did the math for her

Ok so if she calls back, you can tell her that you will just cut out the extra 4 servings per cake!! Then she can always piece those together and put them on the other tables!

What Indy has always said is right. As soon as there's something sparkly on their finger, brides go math stupid.

Oh, and by the Wilton chart a 6" serves 12. So that's $36 per cake. And I charge a $1 or $2 for the covered cardboard underneath.

I had one this week who wanted a "showpiece" cake, so it only had to serve 10. I wrote her saying my minimum order is $200. She writes back "Okay here is the picture of the cake I want, but only to serve 10". I remind her again, "You can have however many servings you want, but it starts at $200." She writes back saying "Okay" the party is at the end of such month...I write back (gracious! Can't all the info be in ONE email?) and ask what date. She tells me...Oops...I'm booked.