Well crap, DH is telling me that my little blurb is "full of attitude" and going to scare away any potential customers. How do y'all read it??
I thought it was alittle harsh and the problem is that the bridezillas don't know they are demanding and rude, so not sure they would identify. This may only upset and keep away your good customers. Sorry, JMHO.
That's basically what DH said. Hmmmmm... back to the old drawing board... 
How does this sound?
We are very selective about the commissions we accept. While we are very happy to have your business and we LOVE making custom, fabulous cakes, we are an exclusive studio. Our clients dont just choose us, we choose them too. We will not accommodate rudeness of any sort.
ok.... I sent it. Thanks so much for the suggestion of taking personal stuff out! I always suggest that to others, but sometimes when you're peeved its easy to loose sight of the professional side of things. Below is what I sent:
Dear Whiney-
Thank you for your phone message. When I placed a call yesterday at 5pm, I used the phone number you supplied me with on your email, which was _________. Scroll down in our emails and you can see where it was supplied. I had prepared the samples for you to pick up as arranged at 4-4:30 yesterday. Each tasting is prepared especially for the bride to be as fresh as possible and unfortunately the tasting is no longer possible. While things do come up, and it is understandable that appointments can be missed, I would have appreciated a phone call or email. Unfortunately, I am no longer able to make your cake and wish you the best in your search.
I deleted the line that suggested she "go elsewhere" for her cake- but I REALLY wanted to put it that way!!!!
Did I control myself enough?!
I'm wondering, how did she respond?
Bobwonderbuns- wording is very difficult at times. Sometimes it is too harsh for the gentle people who you want as customers and too gentle for the bridezillas.
I would not use the "we don't need" every bride's business. That statement may be true but it is offsetting. That tone would scare me away and I am not at all demanding.
How about something that starts out saying- We are a small exclusive bakery and we have a passion for making fabulous cakes for your very special occasion. Because of this we work closely with each customer and want to be the right "fit" for you during the process. Our prices reflect the highest quality of cakes with only the freshest and best quality ingredients. As you can understand our prices are therefore non negotiable. We invite you to contact us for an appointment to discuss your special occasion cake.
Okay, I tried to get the "don't be rude" part in there, but it just can't be done in a general message. People who are bullies and rude always walk away telling everyone how mean the other person was. No matter how in your face you say it, they think you mean everyone except them! With a statement like the one above you can address the "we aren't in an open air market haggling for a deal" and the "small, exclusive shop" so we may not take your order, plus the "we aren't a good fit for you" which gives you an out for the crazy design ideas. It would be great to be able to post-no shirt, no shoes, no politeness=no service-but that just can't be done.
Oooh! I love this thread! May I offer my opinion? When the word "rudeness" is mentioned, it seems that one assumes it will happen. Also the word "exclusive" can be perceived in different ways; something limited to only certain people, or even a socioeconomic difference. If that's what you're going for, then there you have it. But that's why I love the word "Boutique". Like boutique cake company, or private cake boutique. It expresses a intimately sized specialty shop, not a honkin' big place to service the masses.
What about expressing that "Clear communication and mutual respect is important in any relationship, whether between bride and groom or client and vendor."
Does this help? Or no?
Bobwonderbuns- wording is very difficult at times. Sometimes it is too harsh for the gentle people who you want as customers and too gentle for the bridezillas.
I would not use the "we don't need" every bride's business. That statement may be true but it is offsetting. That tone would scare me away and I am not at all demanding.
How about something that starts out saying- We are a small exclusive bakery and we have a passion for making fabulous cakes for your very special occasion. Because of this we work closely with each customer and want to be the right "fit" for you during the process. Our prices reflect the highest quality of cakes with only the freshest and best quality ingredients. As you can understand our prices are therefore non negotiable. We invite you to contact us for an appointment to discuss your special occasion cake.
Okay, I tried to get the "don't be rude" part in there, but it just can't be done in a general message. People who are bullies and rude always walk away telling everyone how mean the other person was. No matter how in your face you say it, they think you mean everyone except them! With a statement like the one above you can address the "we aren't in an open air market haggling for a deal" and the "small, exclusive shop" so we may not take your order, plus the "we aren't a good fit for you" which gives you an out for the crazy design ideas. It would be great to be able to post-no shirt, no shoes, no politeness=no service-but that just can't be done.
Ohhh, that's good!!! 
"Dear customers:
There's only room for one diva in our professional relationship, and I called dibs. :-p "
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! I like that one even better!!! 
"Dear customers:
There's only room for one diva in our professional relationship, and I called dibs. :-p "
AWESOME!! lol! I had to quote that one to my husband, he loves it, too!
My laptop is at HP right now getting repaired so I don't have access to many of my saved links and articles, but I know I have saved a link to a wedding planner's contract in which she has an anti-bridezilla clause that pretty much gives her the ability to get out of a contract if the bride is being a b*tch. I'll try to remember to look that up when the laptop gets back to me.
Absolutely! People don't realize that the tasting/consultation is not only so they can taste my cakes; it's how I "interview" them to decide if I want their business.
Yep! More than one of my quotes got "lost" in the cyber black hole when I could tell up front the bride was a PITA. I also quoted one bride an OUTRAGEOUS catering quote in the hopes she would go away ... and it worked. The interview process works both ways! 
I need to send this email pretty soon, but I am a bit on the perturbed side with this "poor me" bride.
Background: Bride called this week Wednesday for a wedding in August. She says she "was" going with another baker but she decided they just didn't offer what she wanted
She then went to about 5 other places and no no no, they weren't good enough. Someone recommended she check with me. The wedding is very small (for this area) and will only result in a $250-$300 cake. My tastings are booked until April, and she whined that she needed to make her decision about this right now because "the cake is the most important thing." OK... I offer her my to-go tasting, we set up a time to pick it up last night (Saturday evening).
She's a no-show. I call, the phone is disconnected, I email and no response. So today she calls and leaves a message a few minutes ago and says her phone number is ***-**** (she wrote me an email with the phone number and wrote the wrong number), and she says she can pick it up "sometime today". No "I'm sorry" no, "I forgot" NOTHING about our appt. And its a Sunday. Not gonna happen.
This does not happen very often around here. I have had 0 no-shows in the life of the business (cancellations, yes, but not no-shows.)
Below is the email I've composed because I want to cut her loose. I am mad, and I while I want her to know that, but I don't want to go overboard:
Hi flaky bride~
thank you for your message. I used the phone number you supplied me with on your email, which was ________. Scroll down in our emails and you can see where it was supplied. I had prepared the samples for you to pick up as arranged at 4-4:30 yesterday and scheduled my Saturday evening with that in mind. The samples are no longer good, as they are uniced so that you can pair them with different icings. They will no longer be moist and therefore have been disposed. I do not work on Sundays, nor do I do any cake pickups or phone calls.
I'm sorry that you did not come for your cake when scheduled. I think that it would be best for you to look elsewhere for your cake and wish you the best.
Is this ok, or do I need to re-word?
However you do it, you are not firing her. She is not employed by you. So you cannot fire her. You can refuse to do business or tell her you will not be making her cake. But you will need to hire her and pay her a salary before you can fire her.
I just told my DH WykdGud's quote and he replied you could also say "next time try Safeway B***h! I told him that may be a little harsh!
Believe me, I've wanted to say those EXACT words to brides in the past!! 
(I didn't though...)
Word of caution - quoting someone too much could backfire on you. I would just tell someone I can't do their cake and give them a real reason, or just say that circumstances changed and I was no longer available. If words gets around that you charge outrageous prices, you might lose customers who are too intimidated to call for a quote based on your pricey reputation.
I'm wondering, how did she respond?
well, she called 5 times and then sent a text message asking about when she could come and pick up the samples.
I don't have unlimited text (I pay per text because I HATE texts!), but I did write her back and told her that I do not work on Sunday and she should check her email. She then texted me back and said she wanted to come some time on Monday 
for the cakes and I have not responded. I don't think I'll hear from her again (fingers crossed!)
As far as the firing customers phrase, I use it lightly. Of course the woman doesn't collect a paycheck. A sales guru once used that phrase with me and it stuck. Sue me.
This has actually turned into a really good discussion! I'm picking up some great thoughts. Bob- I actually liked some of the phrases in your first one! I may adapt them when I have time, but right now my husband is pacing wondering when I'll get off my cake porn site
This has actually turned into a really good discussion! I'm picking up some great thoughts. Bob- I actually liked some of the phrases in your first one! I may adapt them when I have time, but right now my husband is pacing wondering when I'll get off my cake porn site
Cake porn -- that's what my DH calls it too!!
watch out Jentreu.... She might just "pop in" unexpectedly tomorrow!!! I wouldn't answer the door if I were you!!!! I would just hide behind the curtains! 
I don't have unlimited text (I pay per text because I HATE texts!),
Exactly why I refused to have a text phone while I had the shop open. I view a text msg the same as a post-it note .... and I don't do business via post-it notes. 
From a marketing standpoint, WykdGud is right. If you want to drop a customer, you need to do it in a graceful fashion. Those difficult brides are also the ones that think the world revolves around their wedding, and they will trash you if you are rude. You may feel better, but your business WILL suffer.
Jentreu's note is business-like and not condescending to the customer.
Bobwonderbuns- wording is very difficult at times. Sometimes it is too harsh for the gentle people who you want as customers and too gentle for the bridezillas.
I would not use the "we don't need" every bride's business. That statement may be true but it is offsetting. That tone would scare me away and I am not at all demanding.
How about something that starts out saying- We are a small exclusive bakery and we have a passion for making fabulous cakes for your very special occasion. Because of this we work closely with each customer and want to be the right "fit" for you during the process. Our prices reflect the highest quality of cakes with only the freshest and best quality ingredients. As you can understand our prices are therefore non negotiable. We invite you to contact us for an appointment to discuss your special occasion cake.
Okay, I tried to get the "don't be rude" part in there, but it just can't be done in a general message. People who are bullies and rude always walk away telling everyone how mean the other person was. No matter how in your face you say it, they think you mean everyone except them! With a statement like the one above you can address the "we aren't in an open air market haggling for a deal" and the "small, exclusive shop" so we may not take your order, plus the "we aren't a good fit for you" which gives you an out for the crazy design ideas. It would be great to be able to post-no shirt, no shoes, no politeness=no service-but that just can't be done.
Ohhh, that's good!!!
I wanted to take a stab at this message too. I really like "Funcakes" suggestions and I might use something like this:
"As an exclusive cake studio, we place great importance on our relationship with every client. Thus, we only accept those commissions where we feel we are a good fit with our client; and where we will be able to work together in an atmosphere of mutual respect and integrity."
I have to put in my $.02 here as well about the "rudeness disclaimer." I personally wouldn't do it. It might turn honest and sweet people off from the start. When I got married, I knew what I wanted but I was very respectful and polite to the vendors, and they appreciated that. I was by no means a bridezilla. I'd be offended at the start if I turned over someone's business card and saw that. It's an automatic assumption that the customer is going to be rude, without even giving her (or him) the benefit of the doubt. And truthfully, I have never been inside a business or received a business card with a rudeness disclaimer.
With that being said, I think the OP is doing the right thing by dealing one on one with the customer. I think bridezillas should be handled on a case by case basis. That way you're not turning away business unnecessarily.
I am not a business owner, but if I were a customer, having such a disclaimer on a website would make me look elsewhere! I think it would be nice to have something that you email or say when you confirm a tasting like, "We are excited to meet with you and start designing a beautiful cake for you wedding! We know this can be exciting and fun, but please remember, that above all, this is a business meeting. We pride ourselves as being professionals and look forward to serving you, but please understand that any missed appointments may result in the loss of our ability to re-schedule or provide the cake on your special day."
I appreciate everyone's suggestions a lot!! Thank you!!! Here's what I have now:
We are a small cake boutique and have a passion for making fabulous cakes for your very special occasion. Because of this we work closely with each customer and want to be the right "fit" for you during the process. We invite you to contact us for an appointment to discuss your special occasion cake. Clear communication and mutual respect is important in any relationship, whether between bride and groom or client and vendor.
Honestly, I'm seriously struggling with the last three calls I got -- from some extremely rude Bridezillas (thankfully none of those commissions ever got off the ground!) and I sooooo want to put the "cheap, rude bride" crowd on notice. I guess that's maybe not the best way to go though...
I like Sully's "disclaimer." I guess my thing is that part of being a business owner is taking the good and the bad. If you have to write someone a quick email to decline his/her business then that's what has to be done. But it should be done privately without the assumption that every customer is potentially a problem (which is essentially what the rudeness disclaimer does).
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