Okay, after my people asked for a cake that fed 12, they gave me a design that fed 75. So after i told them, and gave them some ideas, and showed them an island cake I did that served 20. This is the email I get (the names have been changed to protect the stupid):

Hello
Okay, butter-cream is the flavor we would like. Dad would like a square cake and a single or double layer is good. We want to stick with the 20 piece!

The biggest thing is we want to make sure that the cake has bright colors, b/c white icing is what mom had really wanted.

We love the idea of bright, tropical flower's around the cake. Dad had a great idea and wanted to see if you could do it. He asked for the island in one corner of the cake, very tropical and colorful and
Some turqouise blue around the island etc would be great. We just don't want it too dark! Use your imagination! Props, airbrushing etc!
We'd also like the word, Jamaica!!! However you want to do that!
We thought maybe you could write it in the sand or however!

Then the US in the other corner maybe with some icy/snowy looking weather. Then a red dotted line and a plane flying in the middle from that to the island area! We'd like to keep the island as bright as possible.

Also, we'd like to just stick with the words, "Mom, MaMaw, Honey, Mary" on the sides. And somewhere if you could incorporate "Happy 45th Birthday!!!" on top.

Does anybody have any idea at all how this can be done? I have no freakin clue, the cake is just to damn small!! Plus, Jamaica is directly below our state, just about 2000 miles or so below it, so if I put the states in one corner and the island in the other corner, then it is going to look like Hawaii, or just weird. IDK.....I was thinking a diamond shape, rather than a square, and I am going to do it sheet style, rather than layer, so I can make it bigger. Maybe a large decorated base board, and two cakes? IDK....Plus the buget is small, I am ashamed to say how small.

Just say NO! Way too much detail for such a small cake.

That's ridiculous! They want everything but the kitchen sink on that cake and it's way too small for all that junk! Just tell them you can only incorporate a few of those words/designs in order for it not to look tacky. Geesh. Some people!!!

Option #1 - higher cost = exactly what they want
Option #2 - lower cost = less details

Give them the options with prices & it's their choice. If your options don't fit what they want, then wish them well & send them on their way. Period. Why stress yourself trying to figure out how to make them happy when they want Duff on a Wal-Mart budget.

They said you could use props so maybe you could design a small banner that could read something like "Welcome to Jamaica Mom, Mawmaw, Honey, Mary" and pop it in the "island" section of the cake?? At least it eliminates 2 of their criteria

Have a little fun with it. Do the single layer. Do small, paper, cut-outs of people in parkas on skewers. Stick the in one corner on some amorphous "United States". Do the airplane the same way trailing a banner that says 'Happy Birthday". And do a very colorful island with palm trees and sand. Make it Jamaica. It sounds like Jamaica is the big deal for them. Size and scale and realism are not important.

True, it will not all fit with frosting on a flat cake. So get to you or color copier and print out some stuff and put it on sticks stand them up on the cake. It sounds like they want to be a little tongue-in-cheek- anyway.

I think the cake is intended to convey a surprise or message about her birthday. Have fun with it!

I would do two small cakes on a big base board. I still can't imagine fitting all those design features in though.

Oh that is too funny! We want butter-cream as the flavor?

I agree that it sounds like a surprise trip to Jamaica for Mom's birthday and they are okay with all those details crowded on there.

I would make a loose blue outline of the US, pipe on some snowflakes and stick a tiny (on a short lollipop stick or toothpick) American flag in it. Use red dash lines of icing going diagonally to a brown island with turquoise water around it, pipe on a palm tree and stick the Jamaican flag (with the word printed on it) in the island.

Pipe a plane going in the direction of Jamaica and have it look like it's trailing the banner where you've printed out the long wish message with all the names.

The colorful flowers can be simple piped made up stuff in many colors going around the base of the cake as your border. Use orange, yellow, green, red, etc. Mom wanted white, so the base icing can be white.

They aren't looking for accurate, just a representation of what they are trying to surprise her with I bet!

Darn it! I hate it when I don't get the notifications! And i was signed up for hem this time. Thank you all for your replies.

I think I have something figured out, I am doing a 10" square, 1 layer, and and decorating it like a diamond shape, on a round board. That way in the top and bottom corners will be over each other and be a bit more accurate. I am doing just the state on a white background, sloping gently toward dark blue water, gradually turning to turquois (sp?) and then the island. Putting evergreen trees covered in snow on the state, and palm trees on the island. Writing the names on both places, and adding large snowflakes around the state and tropical flowers to the island. making a tiny little plane on a wire covered in pieces of red fondant, and sticking it in the state and having it go almost to the island. Writing all the crap on the sides as requested.

For some reason I have a really hard time doing the whole US the same size as Jamaica! So I will define just the state, and make the rest look like a barren waste land.

DEFINITELY posting pics of this one, lol, ought to be amusing! Check back Sunday

I posted a pic. Turned out cuter than I thought, but I really do aim to please. I thought the concept was dumb, but I just can't slap a cake together.

well done! It looks fantastic

great job.... just noticed one thing though, The email that you posted from the customer said they wanted "Happy 45th Birthday" but you have Happy 50th. Don't know if that was a mistake or not, but I noticed it.

Way to say focussed & make a great cake despite other factors

Wow, you did a spectacular job! Beautiful!

Yeah, you definitely nailed this order. I actually love the final cake and you did a miraculous thing, which was turn a bizarre order into a cake that makes perfect sense.

If you felt "under paid" you might consider instituting a "minimum" order from now on. That way when someone says they need a cake for 10 with x, y, and z details, you can always say, "Sure, but even if it's only for 10, I still have a $75 minimum per order" (or whatever price you set). Just a thought. You're too good to undersell yourself.

I really appreciate all the compliments! Warms my heart I got that email late in the evening, and I was flabbergasted the rest of the evening. I laid in bed thinking of it for over an hour. When I finally thought of some good ideas, I emailed them to myself with my phone so I wouldn't have to get out of bed! I am glad other people appreciate it as well, and my sleepless night wasn't in vain!