It will get a little easier when you have your own dedicated space. No more 'finding' your tools because they will finally have a home.
Some cleaning tips: Keep a wet washcloth with you at all times. Wipe down the counter after everything you do. Pour p.sugar in the mixer, turn on mixer, wipe counter. Crack eggs ... wipe counter.
Lay big sheets of parchment or wax paper on the counter to 'catch' your dirty tools .....measuring cups, mixing spoons, etc. Then all you have to do is throw away the paper, leaving a nice, clean counter.
Do you have cooling racks with legs (i.e. Pampered Chef)? I used these a LOT .... a home and in the shop. Great for having a place to lay tools but still leaving you counter space under the racks, so my counters weren't as cluttered.
Assembly line things: Have icing made ahead of time. Pre-fill 2-3 decorating bags. Then on icing/decorating day, you just line everything up and go. No mixing,mess making, etc. A really great time saver!
And enlist hubby in taking care of the kids and taking care of dinner! Are you actually cooking and cleaning up a dinner on cake days? Hand him a 20 dollar bill and point him to the nearest KFC! And remind him that when it's HIS kids, it's not called "Helping" ..... it's called "Doing"!