Stunned, Shocked, Hurt, Pissed

Business By SweetConfectionsChef Updated 23 Jan 2007 , 12:44am by SweetConfectionsChef

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SweetConfectionsChef Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:09pm
post #1 of 32

OMG! I've been working with a bride for the past two weeks coming to an agreement on her catering and cake bid for her June wedding. I've redone this thing 3 times because she keeps changing the menu or the number of servings she wants. Finally I come up with something she is comfortable with and she wants me to list everything out on paper so she can give it to her mom (a used to be caterer). I also gave her 2 six inch cakes made from left over batter from a wedding I was working on for her family to try. This happend Friday. She emailed me this morning and said she decided to go with another caterer because they offered my price and added an extra dish. She also said she didn't care for the taste of my cake! icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif I've got many customers who come to me for the taste of the cakes and freely share that! I've got a 100% booking rate.....until now! icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif What the hell???? Where did I go wrong?????? And can I just say this was a $10k job...

31 replies
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darandon Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:19pm
post #2 of 32

It sounds like her mom, former caterer, was just looking for prices to give to "a friend" to meet. She sounds like it would end up being a "diva" anyway!

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justsweet Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:23pm
post #3 of 32

You are probably better offer not doing the wedding. If she is this bad image how she will be later. Be glad she is gone and now you can go work with happy people.

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andrea7 Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:29pm
post #4 of 32

This is happened to me before. There's no explanation why this happens. Why do you need to know what the other vendor will do for her. Why would someone insult your cake. I know your thinking about the money but she already has had you change this 3 times. That's a bridzilla! Think about in two months when she's changed her mind again 3 more times. Potenially you could lose money with all the paperwork changes and her not being able to stand by her decisions. I used to be nice until I got burned a couple of times. I love what I do but is it really worth it to be upset about one coment. Have a nice bubble bath tonight (wine works also!). Tell yourself you a f****** professional and your worth more than that!!!!! Tommorrow is a new day.

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TPDC Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:31pm
post #5 of 32

I would have to agree with the other people, you do not want her. I don't think, after all the stress she has put you thru and all the stress she would continue to put you thru that it would be worth your time. Even if it was a 10K job.

Sorry to hear that she kept pulling your chain.

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JanH Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:38pm
post #6 of 32

Sounds like she was treating this almost like a car buying venture... shopping for best prices to take back to the dealer on the car she had already picked out to get the price down!

Probably took your best price to the venue she had in mind all along to get them to pony up the free side dish.

$10K is nothing to sneeze at, but who knows what other concessions they'll ask for before they're through with the chosen caterer icon_smile.gif

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karensjustdessert Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 10:45pm
post #7 of 32

Even if I put hours into a bid, and bend over backwards, and hear how much they "love everything"...I don't consider it booked until I have a signed receipt and deposit in hand.
I've been excited about a couple big bookings in the past, and was only let down when I heard that another vendor was used.
But something better always comes along.

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SweetConfectionsChef Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 11:10pm
post #8 of 32

Thanks guys! I knew I could count on you to bring me back down to earth!! I guess I'm just icon_eek.gif because NO ONE has ever said anything bad about my product! I've been in business 2 years and have never had this happen. I guess I should be counting my blessings instead of agonizing over the bad apples.

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Janette Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 11:27pm
post #9 of 32

icon_mad.gif

If that was the case with the caterer, what is the big deal about the extra dish. She could ask if you would be willing to match it.

But, the cake would really bother me. Did you think to respond telling her you have never had anyone not like your cake and it would help you very much if she could be more detailed about what she didn't like. Let her know that everyone has room for imporvement if you know where you need it. icon_wink.gif

My daughter was a Bridezilla and I don't know why she said or did half the things she did, I just tried to stay clear. I just had to sign the check for our part and, felt sorry for the ones dealing with her.

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SweetConfectionsChef Posted 15 Jan 2007 , 11:38pm
post #10 of 32

I did email her and ask about the cakes...like I would appreciate her feed back (even though I wanted to choke her) and she responded with it just didn't taste good and that she couldn't explain it. In the midst of all this the first bride's mother (where the batter came from) just emailed and said everyone at the reception was raving about the cakes and wanted my info! So what's up? I guess she wanted to use a big name caterer and decided she could get a better price with me so she got my price...and took it to the big name. She probably never had any intention of ordering from me anyway. I've got news for her though...my food prices aren't "lower" than the big caterer's! I just don't charge all of the service charges, gratuities, and junk fees they do! They are matching the food price....they'll tack on all the other stuff later! She'll get screwed and feel like a fool for it!

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cakekrayzie Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 12:00am
post #11 of 32

icon_evil.gif i feel for you some people are just mean and rude, maybe she had you do all of the hard work of makeing up the list and writing everything down so she could give it to her mother who was a cater so her mother could do it, and her commet about your cake was just uncalled for what a B%#*@ she probably only said that because she didn't want you to make her cake because her mom is probably the one that is catering the wedding, and does not want you to find out just used your time and hard work that you put in to take advatage of. i would not waste anymore of my time thinking about her because she is not worth your time or effort, like everyone else said she probably would have just gotten worse and more demanding thumbsdown.gif

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imartsy Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 12:23am
post #12 of 32

Definitely don't believe her about the cake tasting bad - especially when she can't really say why. My mom just went to a wedding and I asked her how the cake was - she said it wasn't terrible, but it was a little "grainy" - although she couldn't quite give a ton of detail on why the cake was bad she was able to say something about it - not just "I don't know, it was just bad". If there was really truly something wrong - she should be able to explain it - like it was gummy in the middle - not cooked, or the icing was too sweet, or too bland, or the texture wasn't good or it wasn't chocolat-ey enough or they didn't like the filling....etc. She probably loved your cake or at least thought it tasted good - she's just giving you an excuse. The fact that she can't come up with any reason or explanation for why it tasted "bad" means it didn't taste bad at all. She's just weaseling out of the whole situation with that. It has nothing to do with you. It sounds like she was just using you. So be mad about that but brush it off and know that your cakes must taste good or you wouldn't have any repeat customers! So forget about this bridezilla..... even that amount of $$$ probably wasn't worth what you were going to have to go through with her.

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nglez09 Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 12:29am
post #13 of 32

What a freak of nature. You don't charge for consultations or anything?

At least you won't be dealing with that cheap freak anytime soon. thumbs_up.gif

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mjs4492 Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 12:44am
post #14 of 32

SweetConfectionsChef:
I know the feeling! I feel your pain, frustration and confusion. I have never had a complaint about my cakes from anyone. And then, one customer asked me if I could change my recipe - the cake had no taste icon_mad.gif Couldn't quite put her finger on it though. I was so upset about it for 2 days. I even called a couple of people (friends/mom's friends) to beg them to tell me the truth about my cakes and the taste. Everyone assured me they were more than great. One of them was even a cake decorator! (I did a favor for her). I almost quit doing cakes because of this one occurrance. That's just how upset it made me. It scared me for the next couple of cakes that I did too.

I'm glad you shared your experience too!! Made me feel better - that I wasn't the only one this had happened to. Kinda shakes your confidence a bit. Let it be some relief to just know that you are never going to please everyone. Hoaky but true.
icon_smile.gif

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pinkyEm Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:13am
post #15 of 32

Wow! I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sure your cakes taste great. If she is the only one that ever said it didn't taste good, couldn't give an explanation as to what exactly didn't taste good but everyone else loves your cakes, that just doesn't add up. Maybe she just used that as an excuse to not use you. Like everyone else said, you don't need her as a client anyway. Poo on her!

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munkey Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:19am
post #16 of 32

awww dont worry, as someone said already, something better will come along. I do feel bad for whoever has to deal with her next though.

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Janette Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:29am
post #17 of 32

My sister-in-law is a pain. Unless she cooks it she complains about everything. I won't go out to eat with her anymore because she takes the joy out of it. She is always sending her food back to the kitchen, something I would never do.

Let me tell you, I love to eat, I rarely find anything I don't like (you can tell my looking at me). But, she is the worse cook I know.

Any Holiday I will pile my plate and go back for seconds but when I would go to her house I would eat before I went and take small portions at her house to look like I was eating. Even her own kids complain about her cooking.

She thinks she is the best cook around. I use to hate it when she always tells me that I need to add this or I have too much of that. I just ignored her.

My family was from the South and if there is one thing I know how to do that is cook. Everyone piles their plates high when they eat here.

Just telling you to look at the source. She may be one of those people. There is just no pleasing.

Then the Mother may not have liked it because the daughter went to you on her own. She may be one of those Mothers that thinks unless it was her idea it's wrong.

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cakemommy Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:40am
post #18 of 32

Oh man! I'm pissed for you!!! icon_mad.gif She'll come to wish she would have gone with you and your services! Guaranteed!!!!


Amy

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SweetConfectionsChef Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:57am
post #19 of 32

Reading the posts you guys have so kindly taken the time to write is so refreshing! Thanks so much! icon_biggrin.gif

I remembered that when I baked her 8" cakes (yes, stupid of me...I usually only give out a couple of bites per flavor) I had one chocolate one extra and promised my son (7 yrs old) he could decorate it. Driving like a maniac I drove up to the shop, popped it out of the fridge, scooped some icing into a container and brought it home for him to have fun! After he decorated it...WE ATE IT! There are four of us here...the cake is gone! My dh ate nearly half of it himself! I thought it was the same as usual. There wasn't a thing wrong with the cake. I even baked this chocoalte cake in the oven WITH the one I gave her ON WEDNESDAY OF LAST WEEK....I'm feeling pretty taken advantage of but so happy you guys have been here to cheer me on! I WAS beginning to question myself about the product I offer!!

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srodge1 Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 2:06am
post #20 of 32

Count your blessings, SweetConfectionsChef, that she dropped you! I feel so sorry for her husband, the caterer, the florist, etc., etc., etc.!! Be glad you got to wash your hands of her! I've never had any bad reviews, and I'm sure my day is coming. Just remember, you can't please everyone all of the time. And I would venture to bet that no one can please this bridezilla any of the time! Keep your chin up and (again) count your blessings! icon_rolleyes.gif

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indydebi Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 2:10am
post #21 of 32

SweetConfectionsChef, I just last week had a different-but-similar. Like you, I don't charge up front gratuities, and I don't add extra for labor fees, delivery fees, etc.,..... it's all built into the price. I also do all buffet caterings, not plated, because it's easier for me and cheaper for the bride.

Had a bride looking for a plated reception for 350 people. She wanted to keep it at $20/person, but she sent me a list of exotic cheeses she wanted in her appetizer table. One cheese alone was $30/lb MY COST. At 4 oz per person, that's $7.50 per person just for the one cheese!

At the sampling, I told her she would not be able to meet her $20/person with that list. With it being plated, I had to charge extra for labor. I can do a 350 person buffet reception with 4 or 5 people, but for plated I was going to need to use 10 people. The reception site had a max of 350 persons capacity so she was thinking, if she HAD to go buffet, of putting the food outside ..... in September!!!! (excuse me .... involuntary shudder just went thru me!). Plus the facility did not have an on-site kitchen I could use, so everything would have to be prepared ahead of time and transported.

Anyway ...... it became a $12K quote, and I told my husband that I hoped she found another caterer. I had strongly encouraged her to do comparison shopping (as I do all of my brides). My business philosophy is "we keep it simple" and this was outside of our philosophy and business practice. While it would have been a great challenge and I know I would have enjoyed doing this job, I was actually relieved when she said she was going with another caterer. Whew! She was a very nice young woman and I don't believe she would have become a bridezilla, but I didn't the the good feel that I usually get when the bride and I are a good match.

I believe all things happen for a reason, and therefore I believe it is best for me and you on these 2 examples that they went with someone else. It's not personal .... it's business.

So keep smilin'! thumbs_up.gif

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lables12 Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 2:10am
post #22 of 32

I'd say if this is the first and only time it's happened, not to let her get to you. I'm no expert, but you gotta figure with so many people in the world there's probably some rude ones we are going to run into. Think of her as the type of person who sends back the first bottle of wine all the time even if it tasted fine. Some people will never be happy!! (That's why I'm a little worried to take up a cake business!!). And some people will always try to get you made, maybe their parents were alcoholics or something....like the lady this week who asked me when I was due, and I a have no belly at all....but I knew what she was doing so didn't let it get to me!!!

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tetraz Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 8:38am
post #23 of 32

SweetConfectionChef,I have had my share with that. After laying everything on the table, the plans were finalized,and deal closed. With no reason at all,she terminated the deal.Reason? A friend who is just starting a cake business,is giving her a free wedding cake! I said "OK". After a couple of weeks, I just learned that her wedding cake didn't turned out fine. Everybody said it was stale,it was rancid.The worst thing was, everybody was thinkng that the cake came from me! Of course i Told her to clear my name!

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cakesbyamym Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 10:08am
post #24 of 32

I feel for you! Been there, done that. I did a tasting for a very la-di-dah lady back in June. (She was actually the bride's mother). I have done backflips for this lady...finding pictures of every last detail that she'd wanted (even though I thought that they looked terrible together)...baked 6 sample cakes for her to try with coordinating icing, the whole nine yards. She was here for 3 hours. I didn't care, because I knew that money was not a problem for her, or so she kept telling me. After weeks of emails, phone calls, etc., I get a "Dear John" email that she appreciated all that I had done to go out of my way to give her exactly what she wanted, but she was going to have to pass on my services. A friend of the groom's family "dabbled" (her words!) in cake decorating, had offered to do the wedding cake (450 servings), the groom's cake (100 servings), bridal shower cake (100 servings), mints, cookie favors and tuxedo strawberries...FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, I had told her that I wouldn't do a cream cheese iced cake for her...outdoor wedding...in August...here in NC...not a good combo. The other lady said that she WOULD do it...no prob. Come to find out...friend of a friend relay to me...the cake was a horrendous disaster that MELTED before it was even cut due to the heat and humidity AND runny cream cheese. All that I can say, is that you get what you pay for, and if you try to cut corners to save money, crap happens. This "friend" messed up every single item that she did for this couple...on a favor, mind you.

You're so much better off without having landed this order. Even though it was a BIG ticket order, it would have meant big heartache and headaches for you. God has other plans for your decorating skills. Just wait and see!

Good luck!!!

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indydebi Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:19pm
post #25 of 32

cakesbyamym, what a great story to share! I have rug-burns on my chin from my mouth dropping open before I was half-way thru the story (cake for over 500 plus strawberries for FREE???????????????)

There's a reason things happen the way they do.....

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FuturamaFanatic Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:40pm
post #26 of 32

Since it sounds like you've been in this business for some time, you know you're going to experience dealing with some whackos. This was one of them. Just chalk it up as "one of those" experiences wish that it rains on her wedding day and that she trips in the mud and get on with your life.

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countrycakes Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 1:44pm
post #27 of 32

icon_surprised.gif cakesbyamym......that's odd that you mention that story! I have gone thru almost the same thing this past fall. We have a friend/coworker of dh's that is a pt contractor. A really nice man, and does great work. His daughter was getting married in September 06....and came to me about 6 months before she was to be married. Just her and her mom...and they spent almost 3 hours with me. The cake she wanted was simple...just vanilla cake and vanilla bc and Swiss dots. That's it. She said that she would get me the deposit the following week.......it never came. I began to smell a rat right then and there. I was figuring that I would never do this wedding cake, just my instincts. icon_smile.gif She did not return my calls when I called for said deposit.....hmmmmm..........

I got called 2 weeks before said wedding....let's just say that the answering machine took the call ( I was not home). Said bride went on to say that a 'friend of the family' had offered to do her cake for FREE. Said that they appreciated meeting with me for a consult...blah, blah. Okay, whatever......I let it go. ( I had already figured and planned for this to happen.) icon_twisted.gif

About 5 weeks later, her mom comes in the workplace that I currently work at......I was gracious, and spoke to her. icon_wink.gif She proceeded to tell me about the wedding.......it was nice. She then told me about the reception.....I DID NOT ASK FOR ANY DETAILS. She VOLUNTEERED THEM HERSELF! Mom said that the cake was a nightmare.....it was not FINISHED ON ONE SIDE icon_eek.gif .......CROOKED, AND WAS NOT GOOD. But it was FREE, and a GIFT icon_rolleyes.gif from a family friend......blah, blah, blah.I said NOTHING. I am not stupid.....wondered if she was wanting to see/hear my reaction?! tapedshut.gificon_smile.gif Needless to say, I was grinning inside.....you get what you get when you accept FREE from someone who has 'dabbled' ( cute phrase! ) in cake decorating! thumbs_up.gif

People just never cease to amaze me..........huh? icon_smile.gif

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mkolmar Posted 16 Jan 2007 , 11:58pm
post #28 of 32

you are better off without this ladies business just for the sake of your sanity. Sounds like she would be a real pain in the behind to work for and she would be changing her mind a lot. I understand how the comment about your cake tasting odd would make you ? everything, but you have great customers that rave about your cakes. You can't please everyone unfortunantly and it sounds like she couldn't come up with a good reason to turn down your services so she came up with this one. I feel kind of sorry for whoever has to deal with her now. Just keep on doing your amazing work and blow this one off the best you can icon_biggrin.gif

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ValMommytoDanny Posted 21 Jan 2007 , 6:17am
post #29 of 32

SweetConfectionsChef, I have had this done to me before as well for a catering job. Bent over backwards, did the tasting, menu decisions, pricing, and was assured the job was mine. Then I received a call stating they were looking at the budget and could I send a formalized statement of costs. Of course I had no problems doing that and you know what they did???? They took mine to the guy down the road (mass produced, pre-fab, defrosted everything) and gave him my list and told him if he could beat my price and throw in something he could have the job. Well this joker was already up the 2++ hours that I spent with her so he wasn't losing anything, did pricing and got the job. You know what they got? A really crappy event with bad service, preformed dishes, and no personalized touch. That's tough tookies for them... I saw someone that attended and totally unsolicited they told me about the quality and service being terrible. When I do events, I handle the whole event - from set up to break down to other vendor/location issues (toilet tissue being needed and all). They got what they paid for...crap.

I was just the fool for spending the time in doing the legwork for him. Made me ponder about a booking deposit that was non refundable, but I never went with it because it wasn't fair to other people... It just made me wiser....

As other people have said, don't sweat the small stuff ~ this chick was probably doing the same thing and thought she was getting a better deal and the stuff about the "I don't know" cake tasting was just BS because she didn't have a reason, she was just using it as an excuse. A bad one to hit with a professional that takes pride in their product, but it was a bogus one...

Don't sweat it ~ it is their loss.....

icon_smile.gif ~hugs~

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parismom Posted 21 Jan 2007 , 6:30am
post #30 of 32

Forget her! She couldn't give you a real reason b/c there wasn't one. It was just a coward way out if it. Some women are just tacky like that. She will never be satisfied with anything. Unhappy ppl love to hurt other ppl - misery loves company.

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