Originally Posted by cakedoll
When my son got married it was a very large wedding with a lot of the bride's family traveling in from other states.
I almost stroked out when I was informed that the rehearsal dinner was going to be for 85 people.
I thought at the time that a rehearsal party that large was really unusual but after reading some of the above posts, I guess it's not.
A lot of brides here are doing big rehearsal dinners for that reason, it's the out of town guests. They think that they have to entertain everyone constantly, and/or it's relatives they haven't seen for a long time so they want to spend some time with them that's not at the reception. It's ridiculous, because it does start to be two receptions.
I had one friend who actually said that where she was from the families kept a mental tally of how much the gifts they got were worth, and if someone gave them a gift that cost less than the cost of the dinner they got at the reception, the guest was put on the family's Sh@@ list! I told her I thought that was absurd, but she insisted that in her community it was accepted that you gave a gift equal to the cost of what the wedding would cost the family per person, or you were considered to be cheap. How you were supposed to know in advance how much the wedding would cost is unknown to me...
When I got married I had a couple of friends who got mad at me because they wanted to throw us a shower, and I told them that I'd prefer it if people didn't have to bring gifts. All of our firends at the time were either poor graduate students, poor musicians, or just out of school, and I knew that nobody could afford a lot of presents. These two friends got mad and said "what are we supposed to do, just have a party where we serve food?"
I said "uh, yeah, that would be called 'brunch.' " Instead of doing that they just cancelled the whole thing! Some people can't think past gifts, I guess.