I am trying to come up with a good list of things to tell brides who really need to cut costs.

I have had a few come to me wth the dummy cake thing but to me that is not really a cost cutter.


Any ideas that come to mind?

Don't buy two wedding dresses. Don't buy wedding favors, unless they are cookies and cupcakes. Don't buy cocktail shrimp. Offer a plated dinner instead of buffet. Choose a date that isn't popular.

Ok, so I know you were referring to cake, but seriously....if you look at the bridal message boards they spend bookoos of money on silly things and skimp on the cake. The 2 dress thing is more popular than you would think!

Kitchen cakes plus centerpiece cakes (for me KC are half the price of the big guys but I require 100 servings up front before incorporating them. they are also the same height and torting as the main cake).

Debi, when I try to explain the 60/40 rule to brides, I always hear
"but you don't understand, I KNOW everyone we've invited is coming to our wedding!" These hapless brides always have way too much cake left over because their vanity kicked in and they spent needless $$$ on too much of everything! I cut my wedding cakes and I know very little cake hits the trash, but I always have to box up leftover cake for the family to to take home! Oh well, it's money in my pocket!

Ummm......or sometimes the 60/40 rule is a bunch of ______.......depends on the family. I invited 250 and had 254. We were actually counting on a few of the distant relatives to not come, but they didn't keep up their end of the bargain.
I don't know.........most brides probably do go over the top. But if I had listened to anyone who tried to sell me on the 60/40 rule, I would've been in deep, deep trouble.

christeena, you're right. If you try to help them and they want to spend the money anyway, let them.

SOME brides just think they are way more popular than they really are. These are the ones who ALWAYS overspend, and then they get pi$$ed at everyone who didn't show up.

prp, what I also always tell my brides is "....the one thing I cannot factor in is how your family usually responds to events like this." But then I follow up with questions on have there been any recent weddings or other events? What was the attendance at that one? Are there any of my exceptions in play? it's a guideline to help the bride who has no idea how many to expect .....

In my 30 years of doing this, it's worked 99.9999% of the time. The exceptions are just that .... "exceptions".

Those are incredible numbers from your wedding .... I'm sure you feel very blessed to realize how important you both are to so many people in your family and they all wanted to be there to wish you well on your wedding day. sounds like you have a very "exceptional" family.

LOL there is always an exception to the rule!

A couple of years ago I went to my cousin's kid's wedding. He was a popular young man and his wife to be had been a cheerleader and a popular girl herself (they are both DARLING people). I understood they had a guest list of 400 people. I believe they had a RSVP of 290 or so. BUT on the day of the wedding people kept calling "oh, we are in fro College Station (Texas A & M) and we are coming to the wedding!!! YOOO HOOO". Some of these Aggies hadn't even been actually invited. They had 384 people at the reception. (the lady there told me this later - biggest wedding they have had there).

The reception was literally elbow to elbow. It was so crowded it was crazy. There wasn't enough seating and my BIL ended up with chocolate from the chocolate fountain all over his white shirt!

I always tell my brides that they know their friends and family way better than I do when they ask "how many will come?" I tell them about this wedding and it is an eye opener!

Oh ha! I don't flatter myself too much on wedding attendance! I have 34 first cousins, all with families of their own now, plus college friends and his side of the family....so pretty easy to get to 250. But I think it was as much an excuse for a reunion on everyone's part as it was the opportunity to come to my wedding. Still people are odd.....we had uninvited guests call us the night before to say they were coming from 4 states away and there were invited guests who brought taggers-on that we didn't even know. Actually, the only reason I know they were there at all, was b/c I saw them in reception photographs after the fact. they did a good job of staying out of sight.
I don't think food budget is the best place to make cuts, although there are some easy things. Having beer and wine instead of a full bar is one easy place, or if the venue lets you provide your own alcohol, that's a big savings. There is always a huge markup on alcohol.
Not having desserts in addition to the wonderful wedding cake...... Lightening up the options that are passed before the couple arrives. I hate the "kitchen cake" idea, personally. In my experience, that looks cheap enough to people that they'll still be talking about it when you see them at next year's family wedding.
I never heard of people buying two gowns. How ridiculous is that?

On the two dresses thing, check out "Whose Wedding is it Anyway?" on the Style channel and "Platinum Weddings" on WE. ALL the brides on Platinum Weddings seem to have two dresses - one for the Wedding and one for the Reception!! They had a bride on there one time that had 7 dresses made for her wedding. It was an Indian wedding with many days of celebration. To say the least, this wedding was WAY over the top!!!
Leslie

Here are some things I tell brides:

First of all, limit your guestlist! You do not need to invite everyone you and your family have ever met! A small, nicely done wedding is much better to a large cheap one. Have a realistic idea of how many will really come. For most people, only about 2/3 of those they invite will attend, and many of those will leave the reception early. Of course there are exceptions, but by and large, most brides do not have nearly as many people come as they expect. Forget the open bar! That is probably the biggest, unnecessary expense, in my opinion. You do not need to get your guests plastered, and you will have a nicer reception if they don't, plus fewer drunk drivers on the road! Just have champagne for the toast, beer and wine with dinner if you must. Have you reception in the afternoon where a meal is not expected and just have appetizers, which are usually taste way better than most buffet dinners, anyway. Do not have a dessert bar. If you get a good cake, you don't need other desserts, maybe just some fresh fruit to accompany the cake.

To the cake itself, again, have a realistic idea of how many servings you need. In most cases, onloy 2/3 invited attend, and if you cut the cake late as many people do, at least a third of those attending will have left by then. Pick simple designs that do not have a lot of detail or colors, just have a few small clusters of flowers accenting each tier, rather than lavish cascades. Use piped icing flowers rather than gumpaste or fresh. Buttercream rather than rolled fondant. For larger weddings, supplement the main cake with undecorated kitchen cakes if possible. Use the groom's cake as the dessert at your rehearsal dinner. Stick with 1 or two cake flavors; more flavors may mean an extra charge, and some people will want to try a piece of each flavor, so you may need more total servings. If you find a design you love but is out of your price range, explain to the decorator just what it is about the design you like, and they may be able to suggest a simplified version that has the same overall feel, but is less time-consuming, therefore less expensive.

well...i have a couple of cakes i've done so many times, i can almost do them with my eyes closed.....very little stress, and i can knock em out very fast....if they let me pick the design, i'll knock some of the price off...

I always tell my girls to low ball their guest count when I quote them a price, since it is usually about 6 months out. I also say that if when they get there RSVP's in they will be having more people than expected, they can always add to the serving of the cake (all these changes must be made 2 weeks before the wedding). usually guess right on their rsvp's, so they are happier... and every now and again, I get a little bonus (in my experience, the budget goes out the window the month before the wedding because people get to the "f*@k it... how much will it cost to make this problem go away?" phase... it happened to me... and about 90% of my brides... when will people realize planning a wedding is NOT fun? But I digress....) The rule with my shopp is we can always get you more cake, but will not decrease your servings (aka price) once you sign on the dotted line. This tend to rein in the delusional everyone-i-invite-is-dying-to-come-celebrate-me brides, and gives them a fair deal at the same time!

The trouble with this post is that brides are not "realistic" people, or if they are, they are are a a particularly non-realistic phase of their lives right now. I mean, seriously, when else would you spend $2500 on a dress you'll only ever be able to wear once for about 4 hours.

When I have a bride who has a dream and a budget that don't match, I usually make really quick sketches of three ideas, one that is $4.50 a serving ( our minimum), one that is $5.50, and one that is $6.50 and let her work it out herself.

I have no idea about any additional server costs, but I know that 'round here buffet costs more per person than plated dinner.

Everyone wants to cut costs. It's human nature.

I think Indydebi is on the right track, as usual But, I would say the single biggest problem I face is "champagne taste, Budweiser budget". This manifests itself in four ways:

1) the client has a photo from a magazine and doesn't realize what the time investment would be and the typically high cost to reproduce said work

2) the client is enamored of "high end" designs and will not accept less, or wants a fondant only technique in buttercream, or wants a design executed on a cake for 300 on her cake for 75.

3) the client thinks there is one price and one design

and

4) Make a dummy, serve backups

What I would love to see is clients who are up front and realistic about their budgets.

I can't help the clients in example #1. Most magazine photos are high end work and should be priced accordingly.

I want to say to the clients in example #2 and 3, you'll save money by scaling back your expectations of what your wedding cake needs to be. I'm a designer, tell me your budget and I'll show you what I can do for the price.

There have been too many posts about client #4. I am continually amazed by the media who push this idea and by the brides who buy the rhetoric.

I think most brides need to scale back their expectations in general.

âThere is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.â
-John Ruskin

I think one of most important things is to be a good listener.The more you can get the bride to talk about her day and plans the more you can tell what kind of budget she is on. Being able to read people is a plus. If the bride is a budget gal then I offer ideas for her to save money, if budget is not an issue then I let her spend what she wants. Either way my job is get the bride to be comfortable with her decisions and to insure that I will make her day special.

1) DIY DOES NOT equal money savings!!!! By the time you pay for the supplies to complete even a "simple" DIY project you'll have spent more in most cases than what it would cost you to hire the most expensive person in the region. This is especially true when it comes to cake and food. A simple 50 pack of invitations from the Walmart Clearance aisle will save you money, 50 handmade pocketfolds with enclosures is going to cost you more than Carlson Craft. Time is money and yours is valuable!

2) If your guest list is above 175 have a smaller display cake and kitchen cakes to finish out servings. Kitchen cakes are undecorated yet have the same fillings as the main cake so all guests are treated equally. The decorating time is what adds up on the cost of the cake.

3) Do your math! You have to figure out "what you get for the money". A big box retailer with a bakery isn't going to tell you their wedding slice is 1x1x3 for that $1.57/slice cake or that you have to purchase a non-returnable "cake kit". Figure out what you're getting for the money. You can have prime rib for your dinner easily, if you want it to be a 2oz. steak...

4) Book early!!! Get as many vendors locked in at this year's prices as possible. Many vendors will be willing to lock in prices if you book before the year-end price increases (this includes some food vendors, but not all) such as reception halls, DJ's, etc.

5) Watch your pennies!!!! You don't need to spend $4/pp on cute little favors wrapped in tulle... Skip the tulle, oh hey, skip the favor. If you feel compelled to have something sprinkle Hershey Kisses or have a bowl of M&M's on each table, it'll cost you $11 at Sam's and you'll have enough for a large reception. Same goes for chair covers, the only detail on the chairs people care about is that they have one to sit on and they don't get a sliver up their butt from it. Skip the fabric aisle runner, the $15 one from the party store or JoAnn's/Michaels will get the job done and it's going in the trasn anyways, you aren't going to use it for anything afterwards except maybe a drop cloth for painting, in which case, the $2 one from Walmart is cheaper anyways...

6) The more greenery and filler you use for flowers the cheaper they're going to be. Refer also to #1...

7) Skip the limo!!! For $50 you can have one heck of a nice rental car for the whole weekend with your best man as chaufer. Or, better yet, $9 through the car wash and a vacume at home and you're good to go with no restraints on time.

Cash bar!!! Yes, sponsor what you can afford (at minimum NA's), but you don't need to provide intoxicate your entire guest list. If someone is coming over to your house for a party they either drink what you have (water, milk, coffee) or they purchase their own... Yes, provide at least a keg, and NA's but above that is bonus. Also people would rather have the opportunity to purchase something they like to drink instead of only serving what you're providing (Beer, water)... If it's o.k. for the Midwest where we have the highest per-capita consumption of alcohol anywhere in the country, it's o.k. elsewhere too...

9) Indydebi has gone over the buffet/plated stuff pretty well... Here it is cheaper to do the buffet because as Debi pointed out it's far less staffing and the staffing is where the majority of the cost of the event is, not just the food, equipment, dishes, etc.

10) Find vendors who include linens/plates/silver/glasses/table cloths in the price or usually less than a rental company. We paid $3 extra/guest to have this stuff provided otherwise it would've cost us at least double or triple that to have the rental company provide them for us.

11) DIY your own veil. For $15 you can purchase a pattern, supplies, and tulle for a blusher and cathedral length veil that would have cost you $$$ at the bridal shop. You can also purchase premade veils from JoAnn's/Michaels/Walmart for $8-$15...

small town where I got married buffet is definately cheaper. Here in the city buffet is usually $3-5/person more!

CoutureCake had EXCELLENT ideas for cutting costs. Several of which I used at my own wedding.

My dress - $810. 25+ dress shops and 4 cities (that I was going to anyway) but it was perfect and fit the budget. My dress came with a sheer shawl that I wasn't going to wear - I made my veil out of it. I hunted antique shops looking for the perfect brooch to make into a comb for my hair - $15. I bought my diamond and pearl earrings and shoes on ebay. $350 shoes for $50 including shipping! My husband bought his top choice Hugo Boss suit off ebay. Did my own nails.

I am a big DIY person but there are somethings you just need to let other people take care of. Fortunately I had 3 months after I finished school while I was job hunting and then waiting for my job to start (stupid HR- long story) so I had time to do things like make all the invitations and programs. My family also made all the favors - homemade crabapple jelly. My mom found the most amazing deal on the jars 12 for $4. Crabapples were free. Just needed some sugar and pectin and a day with some family friends. Less than $100 for all the favors and people are still talking about them, not one left on the tables either.

I wanted hydrangeas - they couldn't get the variety I wanted but sprayed white ones for free. They made the boutineers out of silk. Using only one type of large flower filled the bouquet. I bought white roses at the grocery store for $12 doz for the centerpieces. Bought all the vases and candles from ikea - and picked ornamental crabapples from our trees to fill the vases. Bought 3 big chinese lampshades from ikea to hang from the hall ceiling huge impact for cheap. MADE my own cake - not recommended.

We drove our own car and skipped the limo. Got married on my parents farm - chair rental, borrowed sound equipment. BOUGHT 2 big tents from sears just in case but returned them unopened.

Went on an inexpensive honeymoon to the Rocky Mountains, driving instead of flying.

Things to purchase wisely - good value for money.
Food
Location - make sure the space works for your event size!
Photography
DJ


We managed to come in less than $8000 for 170 people - dress, suit, flowers, food, everything included. Thanks to family and friends volunteering their time, being flexible and focusing on the 4 things above. Being ORGANIZED saves you money.

Edited to add: Buying vases etc. at ikea was the same cost as renting. and my brother and SIL reused all of my glassware pieces, candles and the hanging chinese shades at their wedding a year later. You would never have known.

Must be an Alberta Girl thing! I am originally from Alberta, and My wedding story is very similar! We honeymooned in the rockies and camped as well.
I was fortunate enough to have many talented friends that gave me "services" as gifts; photographer, cake, dress ( It was amazing!! I love My Nonna! â¥)
We spent the most money on food and venue, and we picked a venue that needed zero decorating, the muttart conservatory ( google it!!)

I think the most important advice for brides is to pick the things that are most important to you, and budget, or cut the rest!

LOVE the muttart! I like to go for the orchid show every year. I think its a western Canada thing - I'm a SK girl . but live in Edmonton now. It really just comes down to your priorities - I have a friend at work who has been in weddings (in Edmonton) where the bride has spent $10,000 on a dress. Hello down payment on a house???? My husband sees it all the time at work too - he works for Fairmont Hotels. People spend sooooo much money its insane.

The DJ thing is touch and go. My brother got married 10 months after we did, same DJ. He was GREAT for us but OK for them which may have partially had to do with the set up of the hall.

One more cost saving - you only need programs for 50% of the people. I made enough for everyone and threw out a ton, although I had made fans and it was the perfect temperature that they weren't really needed.

Well, I'm not Albertan by birth, but I do live here now! I also had a wonderful DIY wedding, but back in the UK.

We were engaged and married within 6 weeks (had known each other 2.5 years though - it wasn't a whirlwind)! When you do it like that, you don't have time to sweat the details.

I made my own dress. My little nephew was my pageboy - my sister made his little suit from leftover silk from my dress. Went to Covent Garden flower market at 3am two days before the wedding to buy the flowers I wanted. My parents made the centrepieces. My mother made the cake and her neighbour (hobbyist) made beautiful gumpaste flowers for it. We had the reception in my in-law's wonderful English country garden, with a caterer who was just starting up and probably didn't charge enough. People still talk about how relaxed it was, playing badminton and croquet, mini-golf in the orchard.

All-in it cost around 3500 pounds ($7000). I am astonished when I see that this is what many brides spend on just their dress.

Do "real" people really spend that much on their dress? Wow!
I had a beautiful couture gown and because it was from a leftover bin and it was last year's design......I paid $650.00. You don't have to spend so much to have a beautiful affair.
My husband and I put on a formal, 254-guest, very nice wedding with all of the traditional trimmings. We had a caterer and a bakery and an open beer/wine bar. Yes, my friends and I pretty much did all of the extras and decor ourselves, but honestly nothing looked homemade. (Smile and repeat....Martha is your friend! Ha!) But my husband and I alone were footing the bill for everything (wedding and Manhattan honeymoon) with no help from anyone and only had 6 1/2 months to get it done. We did have to take out a small loan (~$5,000.00) to add to our cash flow and no doubt there are places we could have cut even further......but it was all done at a fairly reasonable cost. We didn't have any other options.
I guess if you're spending someone else's money, maybe you don't try hard to be so thrifty? The "air of entitlement" that bride's seem to get bothers me, though. It's one day in your life. Daddy shouldn't have to take out a second mortgage to pay for it.

Oh.......one other thing I did to save a lot of money, was I shopped a lot for accessories and supplies online. This was invariably cheaper than bridal shops and Ben Franklins and also gave a much better selection. Comparison shopping from your desk chair is a huge saver of time and gas money too.
You can often get a "free-shipping" deal to boot. And.......after the wedding, you can sell off whatever accessories (table vases/mirrors/etc) you don't need anymore on e-bay or Craig's list and recoup some $$.

I think the biggest problem with weddings these days is that they forget that it is the marriage that is important not the party. The party is to celebrate the marriage. If you surround yourself with guests that know you and love you enough to want to celebrate your marriage - then it shouldn't matter how fancy trhe decor is, or how expensive your dress is or how big your limop is. I think people get so caught up on this vision of the perfect wedding -- why not work more on the focus of the reason you have a wedding - your commitment to your spouse. All I know is I went for simple and had a great wedding with people who cared about us -- I didn't care what happened the day of the wedding as long as my husband was there.