kitchen thread lost. I know it was before the crash, just looking for a laugh today. here's mine as I never got a chance to post in the original thread.

Hosting my first Thanksgiving going totally Martha and want to make her roasted chestnut stuffing. I live in FL and we don't have too many "open fires" to roast chestnuts over so I decide I'm going to roast them in the oven. Score them as directed an put them in the oven. As they are roasting I start to scrub ever corner of the kitchen, as all of the family is on the way. I hear a loud BANG, I yell for my DD, thinking she has knocked something over. She says she fine, O.K. keep scrubbing. Then I hear it again and again, and I realize it's the chestnuts. I pull them out of the oven and it's like 4th of July at Thanksgiving. Bang, bang, bang. shells and nutmeat spraying across every inch of the kitchen I have so diligently cleaned. Then DH comes running downstairs screaming WTF are you slamming the cabnites for!! (Yes, I have been known to do that, it's part of the Irish heritage). I'm still finding shell pieces over a year later. Anyway, if ther is a way to find the original post, I would love to know how to do it, like I said I need a good laugh. Hope you all have a great weekend.

Sue

Hahahaha your post totally cracked me up. Nutmeat. Ha!

HA HA! That's hilarious.

I have so many not so smart things that I have done but the one I will never live down happened when I was pregnant. Mind you it was my first pregnancy and I was in "Nesting" mode. More like I was cleaning anything and everything. I even scrubbed the walls down. I digress though. The one item that I just had to clean because it was so filthy (and yes I knew it would break it but I didn't care because it needed to be clean) was the toaster. When my DH came home he thought I was crazy. All I could say is "Yes, it is broken....but look at how clean it is inside and out." Not my finest hour, but I have to admit it looked brand new I cleaned it so well.

Well, I left a plate of cookies on one of those blue plastic paper plate liners and for some unGodly reason decided to "store" it in the oven.....as you can only guess, I turned the oven on several days later and they burned to he!!, stunk up the house for a week and to this day, there is still plastic stuck on the racks no matter how hard I scrub........


Did I mention this was several weeks after my husband surprised me with a beautiful brand-new double oven??

Let's see....there is also the time I added cinammon instead of paprika to the turkey (blech) and baking soda instead of flour to the gravy......foaming gravy is, as Martha would say, "NOT a good thing!".

It is like pop rocks gravy.

Did you know that if you place cold plates from the cabinet on a burner that's been on medium for the past hour, the plate explodes?

OMG! I have a hernia and it totally hurts to laugh!! I have to go get more pain meds now. Ya'll are HISTERICAL!!!

I wish I could contribute, but I can't even think straight I am laughing so hard! especially at the chestnuts!! who new they would POP like popcorn! Once I can breath again I will share one of my MANY kitchen nightmare stories.....

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay this is probably a no-no since this is not something I did buuuuuut.....

I still remember being in 6th grade and watching our teacher explain why the corrected tests she was returning to us were literally charred!

Apparently she spilled coffee and decided to 'dry' them out in the oven and they sort of caught fire, lol..... some of them had the grades half burned off, it was hysterical. And she never lived it down.

*** exploding 'nutmeat' is still giving me a little chuckle

This thread is hilarious! I can relate to the chesnut thing. I LOVE chesnuts over the holidays..one of mine exploded but at first I couldnt figure out what it was..I was running around the house like a crazy person... I was cleaning up shell pieces for months after that...LOL.
Nutmeat..never heard that term before..Funny!

The original poster mentioned a "crash" I have been absent from CC since the end of february. What happened?

Jibbies

ok so this did'nt happen to me but it's still funny....
my mother has a tendancy to wear alot of mascara and one Thanksgiving she went to check on the turkey , opened the oven and the heat from the oven melted mascara on her eyes and "glued" them shut!
She starting screaming and laughing all at the same time, we had to walk her to the sink and wash the melted mascara off her face before she could open her eyes.
Needless to say she is more careful now when checking the turkey!

oh there are so many...

pulling out an 18 pack of eggs and not holding it on the side of the hinge.... it was a real nice omelet on the floor. Had to borrow some eggs from our trusty neighbor.
That same afternoon I put a bottle of Sparkling juice in the freezer... Both DH and I forgot Had a party with DIL being in town... 10:30 pm big bag out of freezer... open the door and there is juice and glass everywhere in the freezer and dripping on the floor.
That floor was washed 3 times that day in the exact same spot.

Tonight I as grilling some crostinies on the BBQ. (I am not usually allowed... I tend to start fires on the BBQ... the kind that need the extinguisher...) Anyhow hubby is helping because I cannot get the heat past 140. He gets it reset and starts it, tell me it's on high, make sure you take it down. Yes honey.... Well I take the pasta inside I was cooking on the side grill (too hot to cook inside the house). I get it settled and then I look outside the heat it now at over 500 and I see smoke... well another batch of crostinies hits the dust. That is twice in a week. The little critters in our back forest are really doing good they have gotten some 1/2 charred bread and it's gone in no time. The kids thought it was funny that mommy was sending the toast to the birds!

Good Luck.

[quote="varika"]

Don't worry I have a dirty mind too, this commercial cracks me up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_BwppFfgeU&feature=related

OK... Here's mine. I had a pyrex glass(first mistake) baking dish in the bottom of my oven with some water in it for steam while I was baking a large cake. Well, I let the oven preheat for way too long before actually getting around to baking(second mistake). Towards the end of the cake baking, I peeked in and realized that it was starting to evaporate, not wanting it to do so completely I, without thinking, added more water. Hot-as-the-tap-would-get-water, but clearly not-hot-enough-water(mistake of the century).... yeah, the glass baking dish--exploded. Millions of tiny little glass pieces and water everywhere. Totally put out the oven. I had to wait for it to cool, then totally dismantle it(the oven), to clean glass out of everything, then start baking all over again. It sucked sooo bad. On the bright side, my oven got really clean, and I ONLY cut myself 3 times in the process.

OMG that commercial is TOOOOOO funny. Especially since I forgot to turn my sound on until about 1/2 way through the video. It came on just in time for "nut snack"!!!! And the dirty mind that I have went...."what did he just say........" hahah!

I'm still laughing about "nut nerd"

I really need some motivation - I have a cake due tomorrow for my friends sisters graduation!! WHAT AM I STILL DOING ONLINE!!!

I just went and watched that commercial... but the first time I thought it said, "nut-sack".... so i had to watch it again.

Janel- You sound like me. I always do that, then end up kicking myself in the end cause I'm so stressed out. So I say this as a friend.... Step away from the computer, and GO MAKE YOUR CAKE!!! HTH!
Valerie

After drinking an oreo milkshake from TGIF I figured I could make one at home. We had a very small attic apartment and my kitchen fit one person comfortably. I had a bakers rack (wire) with my appliances on top and my treasured recipe and cake decorating books at the bottom. Well I set out to make my milkshake in the blender, it looked delicious. I was sooo proud that instead of taking the whole top piece out I only took out the glass part spilling my much wanted milkshake (prego craving) all over my treasured books. My husband laughed for days (until I sent him on a prego run to TGIF for a milkshake )

linda

I know the first couple times I saw it I thought it was "nut sack"!
"Nut snack" is still pretty darn funny!
Nut humor gets me everytime, that and ball humor, but I'm pretty simple minded.

On a side note I was at the grocery store and my 3 yr old decided to tell everyone we passed that he had 2 balls!
But he really did, he had earned a quarter earlier in the day and used it at a gumball machine, the machine gave him 2 bouncy balls instead of one, so he was really proud of his 2 balls, and was'nt shy about telling everyone that he had them!

Awww... yourstrulytx-
Kids are so cute when they're talking about their balls!

I swear this thread just keeps getting funnier!!

cake update - bottom tier - baked, filled, iced, and covered in MMF (My first time with MMF!). Top tier - baked, torted, filled, iced and completely unlevel. baker - sweating off my nut snack! haha

Tee Hee Janel-
Sweating off your nut snack.... I think I should go have a nut snack. Someone will be happy about that.

cake update - so I had to do the fondant like 3 times on that top layer and I'm still not 100% happy with it, but, I decided that at 1AM I had enough for tonight and no matter what else I do its not going to turn out the way I want it to - SOOOOO I will leave the rest for tomorrow!

I'm taking my nut snack and going to bed! hahaha

Goodnight to you... and your nut snack!

You guys are hilarious, thank you soo much, I'm going potty before I pee my pants reading all of this!! Just what I needed, a good laugh!

Sue

Oh and by the way, I think the term "nut sack" is definatelly underused in society

Me too.... we should start a new nut sack trend!