**Try to remember I was talking originally about VERY young kids. By the time they reach school age and can understand being at a function and even having fun/being able to play quietly with other kids things take on another angle, barring just awful behavior past that age thanks to the parents.
I understand that and agree with you. However, I also took my then 20-month old son to my brother's wedding. I was pg with my daughter at the time, and a bridemaid in the wedding. Not having my son around was NOT an option. He did extremely well at the ceremony, stayed through dinner at the reception, and my new SIL had arranged babysitting later on in the evening. It worked out fabulously.
I agree 100% that it's all about the parenting.
I also believe that a wedding is about celebrating with family and friends. I would rather have all of them around, than exclude a portion because they have small kids.