Ok, so I have a good friend who asks me to do a cake for her. After she tells me what she wants, and we decide on size, which is a 12-inch round double stack, I quote her $40, which also includes the special friends discount which is pretty much cost.

She tells me that she really wants to HELP me make the cake . I was a bit suprised. If I am anal about anything its my cake-making, but she told me that she wanted to make the cake a suprise for her hubby, and that SHE really wanted to make it, cause she thinks that my cakes are beautiful. She has always been interested in cake making and she really wants me to teach her how. She wants to be able to make cakes just like me, etc. etc. etc. Shes really laying it on thick at this point.

Well I am flattered, and shes a good friend! We decide on a flavor and a design, and I email her a list of materials that she will need; i.e. cake pan, piping bags, cardboard rounds, cake board, tips, the whole shebang (total about $30 worth). I sent her this email 2 weeks ago, no response, no response. Last week I sent her an ingredients list. No response, no response.

Well I got my response today. She called me and left a message when she KNEW that I would be at work, and unable to answer my cell. She said : I cant really afford everything that you sent me a list for. Its going to cost me around $100 to get everything (she was embellishing). I dont really want to get all of this equipment, because I dont know if I will ever use it, and I dont want to spend my money on stuff that I am not ever going to use. I THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE CAKES LIKE ME!!!

Then she goes on to say that she knows that I have all of this stuff at home, and why couldnt she just borrow my stuff?

Well first of all, this just proves that she wanted to NOT pay me $40 to make her damn cake. Instead she wanted to 'help' me do it so that I wouldnt charge her anything and she thought that she would use all of my stuff, boards, rounds, colors, etc. and just get away with buying $10 worth of ingredients.

What the HECK??? I told her $40! A 12-inch round by Earlene's charts serves 45 people! THATS LESS THAT $1 a SERVING! I am so angry I dont even know what to say to her at this point! How do I get out of this mess gracefully?!

How aggravating, not to mention insulting! I would let her know that you appreciate her desire to help/learn but the process of creating a cake can be lengthy for the inexperienced and you don't have the time to teach her. Reiterate that you can provide her the cake for $40 and you need the green light from her "now" so that you can make sure you have the time set aside as well as all the supplies necessary. That probably won't appease the part of you that wants to go off, but it might be a solution while preserving the friendship

Dear dumba$$ friend:
My mistake. I was under the impression you wanted to start making cakes, so this would be a good opportunity for you to get started with basic tools. As you quickly saw, it's a significant investment to do this craft. I know I'm amazed when I add up the hundreds and hundreds of dollars that I've invested in my equipment to be able to create my cakes. At least now you've picked up some appreciation on why the regular price on the 12" cake you wanted is actually over $150 and what a deal I was giving you with the $40 price tag.

Sincerely,

Your talented friend who is wondering why she hangs out with flakes like you.

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But then .... that's just me!

You can say, 'well, normally, I charge $25 an hour for lessons'

Indydebi....
You are sooooo funny, while really getting the point across. I love it. Does your husband's comedy traits rub off on you or do you both have a great sense of humor?

I vote for indydebi's way. If you don't do it that way then you could be a flake just like her and tell her that the cake cost 40.00 and teaching her how to make it and using your equipment will be an additional 80.00.

I have no idea what to tell you. From one angle I see her point, maybe she really did want to make cakes with you, and have a fun afternoon, and she thought she could just use stuff that you will reuse (ie, the pans). But on the other...your time is important! And you are worth being paid for a service. I just wish I knew where she was coming from, if she really did want to work with you, or if she was just using you....I would say she should AT LEAST pay for the cake costs-the flour, sugar, etc.

All hail Debi.. the queen of the quippy come back!!

I'd just tell her to grab the ingredients and then she can help you make the cake. That's IF you want to do it. If not.. tell her that something has come up.

I wish i could say that Debi . Too much gossip and word of mouth would get around and I no one would order from me anymore. She has got the biggest mouth this side of the Mississippi!

I am thinking about offering her an ultimatium. 1. Either you ask pay the the $40 to do the damn cake. 2. You buy all the perishables, including the cardboard circles, the colors, and the piping bags, and all of the ingredients and I attempt to help her make a cake without killing her with my leveling knife (which is very long, very sharp, and very serrated!).

Or the 3rd option is to buy a crappy looking and crappy tasting cake from Walmart.

Which is coincidentally where she works!

[quote="indydebi"]Dear dumba$$ friend:
My mistake. I was under the impression you wanted to start making cakes, so this would be a good opportunity for you to get started with basic tools. As you quickly saw, it's a significant investment to do this craft. I know I'm amazed when I add up the hundreds and hundreds of dollars that I've invested in my equipment to be able to create my cakes. At least now you've picked up some appreciation on why the regular price on the 12" cake you wanted is actually over $150 and what a deal I was giving you with the $40 price tag.

Sincerely,

Your talented friend who is wondering why she hangs out with flakes like you.

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lol

WAIT a MINUTE...she works at WM & thinks the supplies would cost $100??!!!
she can buy most of those supplies AT WalMart AND get her 20% employee discount!!!!

PUH-LEEZ

It would appear that wherever this "friend" is coming from, it is going to cost you both time and money, so you may as well bite the bullet and figure out the least costly way for you to do this cake so she won't have anything to badmouth you about.

Good luck, and maybe you should lock up that big, long serated knife! LOL

Indydebi: You're too much!

IF-IF-IF she really wants to learn cake baking/decorating, tell her when you are not busy the two of you can get together over your house and whip up something just for fun. But this is an important cake that requires your focus and attention, and you simply can't do that to the best of your ability if you are training her at the same time.

Careful, though! Dealing with friends can be "touchy" sometimes. Good luck!

Why is it always friends and family that seem to take our cakes, and us for granted! I have an acquaintance that is getting married. They know the date but NOT the year. I offered to help her, and give her a discount on her cake. She wants 4 tiers, alternating chocolate fudge and white cake, covered in fondant, with fondant sweet peas and orchids cascading down the entire cake. She also asked if I could "find" her a cake top to go with their Pretty as a Picture theme. That line was discontinued over 2 years ago, but I do have the musical cake topper on hand. I checked and the topper is selling for $95 to $120.00 now. She asked for a price, and I told her for the cake it would be $180.00 if she picked it up in addition to the topper. She can't understand why I can't make the cake and give her the topper both for $180! I have explained several times that the price I gave her is in todays prices but with the cost of ingredients going up I would not guarantee it. I also explained the meaning of collectible, and likely increase in value. Now shes angry, said she will find someone "reasonable" to do her cake! I wish her luck!

Gee.. I gotta wonder if she's tried this on her mechanic, hairdresser, dentist, doctor...............etc.........

Indy Debi said what needed to be said.

Whata idiot!!

I would just go back to your original offer..$40.00 for the cake. Invite her over for a glass of wine, she can drink and talk while you work. That way she can see how you do things and maybe better appreciate all the work that goes into making cakes.
It is pretty rude of her to expect you to cover even more expenses than you already have thru discounts. What can i say, sometimes friends and family don't think. Of course it doesn't make you feel any better but somehow we always forgive and forget. Or at least next time if you havent' forgotten, you'll be too busy to help her.

I have to differ here a bit. I didn't read anything in OP where this good friend didn't want to pay her. OP is assuming this, from what I read.
Maybe this gal wants to get some first hand experience learning techniques by "helping" you with the cake.
Equipment is expensive, 12" cake pan alone, is costly. Just giving your friend the benefit of the doubt is all.
If she tells you she expects the cake for free, then that is another thing all-together.
No flames intended.

why exactly does your firend think she would be "helping" you if she was there when you made the cake.

If it takes 3 hours to make the cake it will take 6 if you have to explain to her what and how to do everything.

I would send a recipe and a production schedule along with some links to wilton's website for the decorations she would like, that would be more than helpful.

Perhaps send her the local wilton class schedule too.

She really said her money...

My hubby said that she was probably expecting me to come over there, bring all my stuff, make and bake, and then decorate and she would 'observe'. He said this when I told him about me teaching her, like 2 months ago, when she first asked.

I stood up for her and said no way, she isnt like that, blah, blah, blah.

I had to tell him that he was probably right today. He did the "I was right" dance. I hate that dance .

I have a sister like this. She has 2 left hands (no offense to you lefties), and absolutely no patience. so she had a party and her stupid MIL asked her to bake cookies - she can barely toast bread, how is she supposed to make fancy cookies??? of course she called me, so i told her i'm very busy (i had a 5 wk old baby), sorry. so she had a great idea - i should help her, and since she doesn't want to make a mess in my house, we should do it in her house!! of course, i had to bring all my supplies, so dh dropped it off before work. i don't drive so i had a 20 minute walk to her house, she was busy w/ her neighbor, on the phone w/ her friend, and doing laundry, but i could not do anything while she was busy cause i was "teaching" her how to bake cookies!!! she did not do anything like i showed her (she is a stingy person, so she used like 1/2 the icing on each cookie). well they looked horrible, but she told everyone that i helped her make them. i also wasted a whole day, i barely ran through the door before my kids came home and i was so tired. of course, the next time she wanted me to "continue teaching her", i was not available,every day was a different excuse til my other sister yelled at her that i'm obviously not going to do it. she was massively insulted and thought i would be hurt when she told me that her neighbor showed her what to do!! Thank gog!!!!just leave me alone!!

sorry so long, just showing you where this could lead to!! if she wants to learn, let her pay someone to teach her!!!!

When is this cake making day supposed to happen? Could you wait until a day before and say that you have raging diarrhea? I usually think that the direct route is the best way to deal with things, but in her case I think that it might just piss her off and stir up trouble. And she'll still have plenty of time to get one from Wallyworld. Couldn't she learn how to do cakes there????