WOW! Thanks everyone for your input and help. I went to bed last night in the middle of page 3 and wake up this morning to 2 1/2 pages of comments
Thank you all!
I'm thinking of the exact wording right now but I think I've got it!! lol
"Mom I can't do the cake and cookies for $20.00. The cake you want will cost $45.00 for a sheet cake, or $60.00 for a round, to feed 30 people. The cookies will be $3.00 a dozen. I can not do it for the $20.00 offered because it does not even cover my costs and time."
I have a habit of saying I'm sorry when I really shouldn't have to. And I think if I chicken out I'll just have hubby back me up lol. He's fed up with mom and all her demanding and stuff. Her current thing with him is (he's a full time carpenter, ex-plumber, ex-pool man, ex-electrian) she redoing so much of the house right now, redoing the basement and wants ceramic tiles put down on the concrete floor, since he doesn't know how to do that at all, she's contracted a work friends son whom she's paying to do it. Hubby has to find two friends that don't want/expect to get paid, to help him remove the old sliding glass door, rebuild the frame and put in a new sill, which means he has to jack the house up to support the entire house when he removes the main sill/support to replace it. This is something that would normally take his entire work crew of 4 people, at least 2-4 days. She wants it done in ONE day. Fed up with her BS he finally told her as nicely but sternly as possible, "Mom I'm sorry but it can not be done in 1 day it'll take at least the entire weekend and unless you want to contract someone who will send a crew of 5+ men out here to do it you won't get it done in 1 day."
I guess I should also include here, my husband is more of a son their either of her sons ever were. My half brother is the one whom she allowed to hurt us when we were younger, my other brother, whom is her son, but dad adopted him to give him the same last name as all of them when they got married, is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, mainly because of his childhood and what our half brother did to him too. Since he's so messed up with depression and suicidal thoughts because of my sister's situation (they were VERY close and like best friends) he lost his job, stayed in the house, never left for anything, she paid over $300.00 for his meds just so he could try to get better, then he ended up getting put in jail AGAIN for Child Support, she bailed him out, $500.00. Now he's doing better, he was actually out and about thursday and I got to see him for the first time since Christmas. He missed my oldest nephew's birthday party in March, missed my daughter's in May, missed my other nephew's in June, missed dad's birthday in July, and is now doing better. She gives in to him no matter what it is, he fried her computer and she just let it go and had dad spend $3000.00 on another one for her because she CAN NOT live without iWon at home!!!!
Ok that went further then I expected sorry lol. But my point is her own son won't lift a finger to help her out so my husband does it all. When we lived there off and on in the last 10 years it was because of various reasons. The first time was when I was pregnant, we were living in a little run down house because that's all we could afford at the time, when I went into labor as I was giving birth she proceeds to tell me "You are not taking my grand child back to that house when you leave this hospital you are to move home." So we did. 6 weeks later she throws us out because my drug addict brother moved back in and I was rude to him and didn't trust him to hold my daughter because he was either always high or drunk. I went into the hospital when Suz was 2 weeks old and had emergency gal bladder surgery and was in there for a month with back to back problems after the surgery, one of which almost resulted in my death. I've had nothing but health problems since the blood transfusion I received against my will. She would help my husband by taking Suz in her bedroom every other night so he could get a half way decent nights sleep for work. I had a very good friend who babysat for me for free considering the situation. Mom has NEVER babysat for me. She always took my sister's boys places and babysat for her when me and hubby couldn't, but she has NEVER babysat my daughter which is why my daughter has seperation anxiety so flippin bad she won't even sleep in her own bedroom 3 feet from my room without a huge fight or someone being in there with her until she falls out lol. The one time we did ask them to watch her for us so we could go out, we've only been on 3 dates in our 10 1/2 years together, my dad ended up watching her the entire night and when we came in at 2 am (went to a concert mom gave us tickets for) she was sitting up crying because "they went to bed and mom-mom shut and locked her door" and she was scared to be down in the living room by herself.
The main reason I don't want her doing this crap to us anymore is because I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's ok to be like that to her husband and family. I grew up thinking it was normal for the man to wait on the woman hand and foot and do everything while she did nothing. My husband was very understanding when he saw first hand how I grew up by staying there one night when we first met. He excepted my apology and explained that it's a 2 way street and there is give and take not just take. I've been trained just like Debi in how NOT to be a mother. I refuse to use those tactics on my daughter and I agree, there is no "repaying" owed. She is my angel and my miracle child as I was told when I was a teenager I would never be able to have children. And seeing as I've only had one pregnancy in her 8 years of life that ended in a miscarriage 2 weeks later, I've come to see that God only intended me to have on miracle and 3 step miracles lol.
I'm not religious because we were forced to go to church as children and to indure endless crap that was basically telling us how to live and who to be friends with and such... needless to say we quit (me and my sister) and we both ended up with people we "weren't" supposed to be with lol. She has 3 children by "those" people and I'm married to one lol... my parent's accepted it just fine but mom's church did not and refused to marry us because of that. So I've drilled it into my daughter's head I don't care who you end up loving or marrying because I know you can't control that but make sure he's good to you and doesn't hurt you. Skin color and all that does not matter! You can not tell your heart who to care for, and your heart knows no color but one. (I think yall kinda get it but incase ya don't.. my husband is black I am white... the catholic church didn't agree with mixing the two.)
Ok I think that's it.... man I ramble I'm sorry gang lmao.