Just... wow. First of all, thanks to angelas2babies for PMing me because I never got an email that anyone had responded to my post (and I've always gotten those notification emails). And when I originaly posted this there were technical diffeculties and I didn't think it was even posted at all!
Soooo.... a few clarifications and an update:
First of all, I do NOT have a baking business. I am a college student who put an add on craigslist.org saying I can make cakes and want experience. I was upfront from the begining with the bride that I am NOT a professional and I do not have a bakery or anything like that. Because of this (and the fact that this took place in a large city of which the bride doesn't even live in and I now live out of state) I am not worried about my "reputation."
Also, with regards to the mixes, yes, the bride knew they were not vegan but they were "close enough" in her words (some flavors only have whey and it's at the end of the ingredients list). And supprizingly, the pillsberry cream cheese frosting IS vegan... wierd I know!
Now for the update... I have emailed her repetedly. I have not refunded any of her money. All of the emails were VERY nasty on her part, and while I considered refunding part of her money, the more she b*ched and complained and made false accuizations (the cake was the wrong shape, the cake was underdone, etc.) the less I wanted to make her happy. Now, I know how horrible that makes me sound... and after reading all of your posts I'm reconsidering. But because I don't have a business refunding her money isn't nearly as easy as it sounds. I would have to work extra shifts (in adddition to being in college full time, and having a chronic illness) and eat beans and rice for the next month at least. Literaly. And after she has shown me NO sympathy at ALL for what I went through to get ANY cake to her wedding, AND calling me many nasty names, I just don't know if it is worth it. I don't have a reputation to save. I would just end up miserable for the next month or more. But I have a concience, and the part of me that put myself in HER shoes really wants to make thing right. I just don't know if a refund would do that at this point. I don't think ANYTHING would help at this point (and thost sugestions of descounts on future cakes, etc. are not possible because I have moved).
So, thank you for the support! I have not stoped decortating cakes (though I haven't had the time or money to do any since then), and I haven't left the wonderful land of CC... I've just hand computur and internet issues so I haven't been on much lately. Thanks again for all the advice. I certainly have learned a LOT from this.