OK. I just vented about my sister. Now, since I have gotten so much support, it is time I shared my sister-in-law horror stories. So my DH has a brother. Well his wife is a NIGHTMARE. And I mean that.

Anyway, here is the point... I have STOPPED making her and her husband (my BIL) anything. Food or dessert. FOREVER. My husband and I are the ones family goes to for holidays and dinners, etc. We are just the entertaining house all the time. Not that I even mind...until...

She is the MOST critical, unpleasant human on earth. I see everything I make for my family as a 'gift'. I use the best ingredients, make most everything from scratch. I really try to give everyone a great sense of home-cooked/baked. Well, she has actually PULLED me ASIDE to say, "I tried your (baked item here) and I have to say, I didn't like it". I was like OMG! What do you mean you 'have to say'. No you don't! She has walked right past (what I thought) was a GREAT cake (my daughter's 1st bday cake in my pics) and acted as if there was no cake. I had been going on and on all that week to her saying how I was planning on making this cake and so excited to start working on it for this party. I had to go up to her and say, 'Did you see the cake I made Paris?'. Then she (still doesn't look at it and said, (as lifeless as possible), "Oh yeah, cute". She has come over to my house and first thing out of her mouth was, "I was preparing myself not to like anything you made".

Want to talk about a nasty person!!! NEVER again! I finally told her, I can't take it anymore! You don't have to eat anything I make! You don't have to make nasty comments about everything! Keep it to yourself! It is never polite to say "ew" or "gross" to your host when she has invited you to dinner or over for dessert! I told her to learn some manners!!!!!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! And we haven't spoken since Thanksgiving! AND I AM NOT MOURNING THE "LOSS"!

OMG... She is sooooo jealous of your talent it's not even funny!! That is HER problem, not yours. Don't even waste your time or energy on what she says or thinks!!

I wonder if maybe her cooking/baking skills are lacking? Maybe she feels inferior to you when she has something that you've made that's delicious and looks great too? For some people, the only way they can feel better about themselves is to snub others. I have family members that do this as well...only they do it with the attitude of "What did she make? Is it from scratch? Why does she go to all the trouble for that stuff? OMGosh...I guess we'd better say something about it." I've actually heard them saying this type of thing when they thought I was out of earshot! It's like they're shocked that I can turn good food out or something...and at times better than anything they've ever made...lol. I'd rather them say nothing at all if it's not genuine. I think what bugs me the most is that they're family, allbeit by marriage! lol

There is always one bad apple on the tree. She must really be a unhappy person.She really needs our prayers.

You know what, she couldn't make a bowl of cereal to save her life. She can't bake, cook ANYTHING. In fact, she won't even clean her place! Everytime I've ever gone there it is a pig sty. She BRAGS that she never cooks or bakes anything for her husband or anyone EVER! She has 'volunteered' to help me with thanksgiving/christmas dinners etc. Only to show up with SOME of her ingredients, using what I HAVE to complete her recipes...AND LEAVING THE KITCHEN TO WATCH TV or go sit with her husband while I (IN PANIC) for the dinner to be ready on time - I take over her part of the food preperation! I know - that is my fault!

I am a stay at home mom. She has cut me down for staying at home and choosing to raise my daughter instead of being a 'career woman' like her. (She is using the "I'm a student" card forever and uses that as her excuse why she as a 'business women' hasn't worked (A DAY IN HER LIFE) i kid you not. Her parents pay half of their bills still! She talks all the time about 'what my daddy bought me'. She has told me my BABY was making 'horrible faces and that it has GOT TO STOP'. OMG!!!!!!!!

So to sum it up, maybe she does feel inferior to me as she can't make TEA let alone a cake or anything else!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

It's stressing me out just reading about your SIL......I have a similar SIL, never has anything good to say. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my twins(big as a house) and she never made a comment. Not one. Some people are just nasty by nature. I'm just happy that my SIL now lives way accross the country. I just wish that yours would move too!!

I say make her a nice cake with flowers and all ,and then smash it in her face! she definately deserves it.

She sounds extremely unhappy. I'd pity her. Tell her "I really pity you" the next time...that ought to make her think a minute.

It might even be better to listen to her rude remark, laugh really loud and ask if you can share her thoughts with everyone. Put her right in the middle of the attention she so obviously desires. Open up a forum so EVERYONE can discuss the 'badness' or your cooking. She may finally get the point once she hears from everyone else that she is the one with the problem.

WAIT...I take it all back. Not the chiristian thing to do. Even though it might feel good in the moment.


You know you have talent...your pictures don't lie.
Stop giving her so much power in your life.
Just pray for her and don't let her push your buttons.

blessings

mommachris

I feel for you...I can definitely relate to your situation. My boyfriend's mother and sisters are the exact same way! None of them can cook or bake to save their lives and they seem to be pretty proud of that fact, but they never miss a chance to poke fun of me for having that talent. Yet they have no problem asking me to bake 60 dozen cookies (for FREE, mind you) for the youngest sister's wedding last summer. Or two weeks ago when BF's mother calls HIM to ask HIM if I would make a birthday cake for her grandson on one day's notice!!! She never called me to ask! Stupid me ended up doing it, but then had a battle over the $55 BF told her I wanted for the cake. Half sheet, from-scratch chocolate and yellow, decorated with the Steelers emblem that I busted my butt to make for her in literally a couple of hours. She begrudgingly wrote BF a check for me for $45! And she never even thanked me. Not one phone call from this woman about it! Never, never again. Just remember that there will always be jealous people in this world and the only thing that you can do is ignore them and their nasty comments. There a plenty of other people that see (and eat!) your work and appreciate what you do.

She is sooooooooo jealous! Next time say," I'm sorry you feel that way but your the only one. Maybe next time you could cook! Otherwise, I wouold appreciate it if you could keep your comments to yourself."

I'd try the opposite approach. Act like you really care about her opinion and ask her for her favorite recipe or her advice on how to improve. You may start something to bring her over to your side.

I feel your pain. My lovely SIL doesn't want to get along with anybody either. My in-laws always cook a fantastic-out-of-this-world holiday meal. They put lots of time and effort into it. My SIL has been know to sneak her 3 teenagers off to fill up on hamburgers and ice cream right before the meal. It's not like they don't like the food served for the holiday. They love it. I think it is part eating disorder and part passive agressive stab at her in-laws. She almost never sits at the table with us for meals, but has some excuse to be somewhere else. People are so funny...?

I totally agree with mommachris...the chick needs prayer...its so fun to get 'even' or expose her nasty-ness but it isn't the christian thing to do...after all, ya dont want 'karma' bitin' ya in the butt! I feel blessed to have some great/appreciating people in my family. Not ALL of them are, but for the most part. The good ones out number the icky ones...therefore, the icky ones stay away, which is ok with me. I hope you let all of her crap go in one ear and right out the other...she doesnt deserve all the energy you put forth gettin' so bent at her...just know that we love ya and appreciate ya here!!!
xoxoxo

How did you end up with my in-laws? The only ones that would make favorable comments on my baking, crafts, sewing and child rearing were my bils. I was considered less than dirt because I refused to go out and work so I could brag about all the things I had. I insisted on staying home and raising my children, being involved in their schooling, and being home when hubby got home from work. That is also what my hubby wanted - he hated coming home to an empty, cold house and being alone. So for us it worked. But not for my mil or sils. And yet, behind my back they would brag to everyone how good my cakes/cookies/crafts etc were, and all homemade. Our kids turned out the best in the family, never in trouble in school nor with the law. Everytime my sils were nasty to me, I could hear this phrase going through my mind, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Now that they are elderly they admit they were threatened by me and couldn't figure out why I'd choose to stay home just to be a wife and mother - Was I trying to show them up? How sad.
You just be who you were made to be and continue to be the kind and loving, talented person you are!

Everyone has given you good advice (I especially like FerretDeprived's the best) but one thing I have learned in my "old" age, it's best to try to get along or if that doesn't work, I'd just avoid her all together. That way she can't make you mad and she'll have to do her own cooking!

I say you make her a cake that REALLY DOES taste bad!!! You know add a "little" too much salt just a little indiviual one just for her


ok ok or not.....but you have to admit you grinned...and maybe even lifted an eyebrow!!!



goodluck.......I wish you lots of it..........my best advice....don't take advice from me about inlaws !!!!!!

Jealous people stink! Tell her not to be a hater! I bet her husband, your brother raves about your food and it eats away at her!!! I agree, you should just stay away from her, but does that ruin the relationship with your brother? I truly sympathize because my brother married Satan's other daughter and we've all pretty much lost him....she says don' talk to them and he doesn't. He's lost all of his friends and family for her. So sorry about your situation.

I feel your pain, too! My problem was with someone I thought was a close friend. She also made cakes and actually encouraged me to try making my children's cakes. So, I did, and fell in love with it! The thing was, I made a cake and sent it with my hubby to school for his class. Well, she got a piece and told me how great it was, but then told a lady that worked closely with her that it tasted like I had used rancid Crisco. Well, I know it did not because #1 everyone else raved about it and #2 it was a brand new thing of Crisco bars...go figure! Anyhoo, it really hurt me that she would say something nice to my face, then stab me in the back. This bothered me for a long time, but now I think maybe she just felt threatened by me. And that is obviously what your SIL feels! It seems to make these type of people feel better to bad-mouth others to try to make themselves look good....but don't they understand.....it just makes them look really dumb! Oh well! Just wanted to share my little sob story with you also!

Like Tami said, she sounds like she is jealous of your baking and decorating talents....

Too bad for her... She is missing out on your friendship and your baking goodies...

Jealousy is a terrible thing. It makes people miserable. It makes You miserable because you have to put up with her RUDE comments, and actions, and It makes her miserable, because she feels so inadequate. Can you imagine going through life knowing you can't do anything constructive?
You did the right thing by finally telling her how you felt. Why should you continually put yourself in that situation? Maybe someday she will GROW-UP!!!

In answer to your question, we were only 'close' in the fact that I was trying MY HARDEST to get along with her. For years I would listen to her comments and all of her cut downs and not say anything b/c I didn't want to make waves and just continued to blow it off. Well, what happens is, when you talk to someone and TRY your hardest to make a relationship - only to be poked and pushed and taunted and ridiculed...what happens is - you SNAP. That is what happened. We would talk very regularly. Until I got sick and tired of everything I would say or talk about that I was doing or was interested in was bashed time and time again. One sided relationships are not fun. I could not take it. How long can you play a peacemaker when you are constantly thrown in the fire for trying to be someone's friend?

She does not get along with anyone. She treats her own parents like crap. She talks to her mother like her mother is an idiot.

I am not saying I am in any way perfect (AT ALL) but what I do have to say for myself is I have NEVER been rude to her, I have invited her into my home for dinners and holidays and just for no reason. Only to have her insult everything I make, use our internet the whole time, make stabs at my baby. Not anymore, I could not deal with her. I do not say things to anyone that I know will intentionally hurt them. I am not that kind of person.

While I don't expect everyone to like anything I make or have the same interest as me, It is QUITE another in my opinion, for them to feel they are at liberty to bring it up to your face and at the dinner table every single time. If I am invited to someone's home, I am a gracious guest. I could be choking on cardboard and hate it - if that were the meal - but I would NEVER be so rude as to tell the host as I am eating it.

So yes, I am hurt. B/c I tried to be friends with her. She does notknow how to be a friend. So my efforts were ridiculed and not appreciated so I am finished.

Lifes Too short to waste your time even thinking about what she says. She sounds like a very unhappy person in general I have a few relatives like that and Im Always on the oposite side of the room from them (Dont think this isent planned) it works really well. That way Im not the one making waves by not inviting them. By the way your cakes are really nice. She's really missing out on all the fun.

you poor thing ... I know exactly what you are going through ... I have an entire nasty family inlaw.... fortunately dh has realized how toxic they are and we have 0 contact with any of them..... I hope you get as lucky as I did...

one thing I must say is that I NEVER got into fights with them .... I just ignored them .... I consider myself better than allowing myself to stoop to their level.... but by the same token I never interacted with them besides hi and bye .... when my husband asked why I didn't engage with them ... I explained they would try to provoke fights which I refuse to fall into ... so I just avoid contact not to give them opportunities to provoke me ...

I know how you feel. My dh's step-mom knows everything and is happy to tell you how to do it. It is so hard just to sit there and listen to it, especially when she tries to pull you into a conversation about someone else in the family (and when I sit there and think "you are crazy lady! I'm not going to agree with you!") I had a thread a while back about a birthday cake they made for my dh's step-sister. I didn't dare offer to make it because when it turned out good, they would have gotten mad. This type of behavior usually boils down to someone who is missing something within themselves and they have to be on the offensive all the time so their inadequacies can't be pointed out because the other party is so amazed (and usually mad) by what they have said. It's the I'll get you before you can get me mentality. For a while there I felt like George Kastanza's dad and wanted to scream "Serenity Now!! I have finally learned just to ignore it. When she makes a derogitory comment about you food/baking you could give her an Ann Landers response "Oh my, I couldn't imagine making a comment like that to my host!". Then turn around and go back to your wonderful food in the kitchen and well adjusted child!!!

LOL thanks for making me laugh! SERENITY NOW!

Hahahahaha! But yes, there is a family event we all have to attend in April. If I hear any comment like that again, I'm going the Ann Landers route. That is if I don't yell, "Serenity Now" first! LOL

Parismom:

Then I would snap too. If she isn't interested, she should not say anything.No, you cannot be the peacemaker forever. I agree.

I wouldn't have let her use your internet. Who KNOWS what she might do there or snoop around your computer! Oh no, my computer would be off limits. They can go the the library if need be! And baby is DEFINTELY OFF LIMITS!

I thought she just pulled you aside to give her two cents. I hope other people called her on her actions at the dinner table. I would NOT allow someone to do that to someone else in MY presence without saying anything.

Again, sorry you are hurt and I hope you have allies in the family!

And I'm glad you aren't too upset ( I think) with me personally.

I'm always a little nervous to reply when I have a differing opinion than the majority. I think I may have offended a few people in the past with the way I said things. Probably mostly because I used a lot of CAPITAL letters and italics and such. I didn't realize that is viewed as YELLING, or AGGRESSIVE until a while later. And I surely didn't mean it that way! (That's why I have my disclaimer now!!)

Hey Paris????

OMG do we have the same $*%$&^@%BLEEEEEPin SIL????


I so know how you feel same situation here.. but the 1 yr old birthday cake I made was for her daughter so you can imagine.. anyway... I like you refuse to make naything else for her and go on about my happy life... Oh wait I change that I am going to make her one last cake... Her birthday is in april and I am gonna make the poopy cake nuts and all in it... and say "Hope you dont get the S###s on your birthday!!! JK!". Since I threatened to make her an exlax cake.. ROTFL then that will be my last cake for ...
Good luck on family gatherings... I find ignoring her is the best medicine... She hates when ppl ignore her majesty... Good Luck!

Mudpie, I wasn't mad at you, I just wanted to share with you more of the full story so it didn't sound like I am just overly sensitive and behind the scenes instigating her for her to say these things. She is just that way as a rule for herself I guess. It is terrible.

She complains about everything. She says all the time, "I love to complain". I don't get ppl like that, I just wish they'd shut up and complain to themselves in their own tired minds. I do have the family in supprt over this. She is rude to all of them too. But they are so non confrontational they just let her say ANYTHING. Which may be why she does. I have been the first ever to stand up to her. Her parents included.