The parent of one of my son's friends called last night with what I thought was just an odd idea. Her daughter wants to get together with my kid close to this girl's birthday and her mom wants to know if I would bake cupcakes and she would bring frosting and we would let the kids decorate them. They already had the party last weekend and the birthday isn't until the end of the month, I didn't know about it until the night before and we were going out of town the next day so he couldn't go. The frosting she brings will undoubtly be from a can . She thinks we can give the kids knives and let them do the cupcakes but I don't want to do anything like that with her kids. She has 3, the youngest is four and the birthday kid is about 10 and she's the problem, even with her medication she doesn't listen and is always getting into things.
If it wasn't a birthday I wouldn't see it as such a bad idea but it just seems tacky to ask me to make cake for her kid's birthday for nothing.
Is it just me about it seeming tacky??

I think it's a wonderful idea, and it seems like the kids would enjoy it.

However it was a bit rude of her to ask that it be held at your house. 3 year olds and frosting is a bit messy!

Although it seems tacky it is becoming a really successful business venure here!! You hire someone to come out to the party and supply all the makings for kids to decorate their owns small cakes or cupcakes..icing,sprinkles.etc.You pay like $15.00 a kid and that is the entertainment I guess.I wouldn't do it as I enjoy making the cake but it has really caught on!!

Very strange. I don't understand why she would ask you to make the cupcakes when they are one of the easiest thing to make(especially plain ones) . If you do go, and things start to get bad, make an excuse or get someone to call on the cell phone to get you out of there(I know I am bad ). Good luck.

Don't do it !!! give an excuse, esp. if you're not getting paid to do this..I wouldn't .. She is being an opportunist ...

I think it sounds like fun. Okay, maybe not for the grown-ups cleaning up the mess, but for the kids, yes! How well do you know the mom? Maybe she is just wanting to make a new friend and that's why she suggested something that you could all do together. You mentioned the daughter is on medication and always getting into things and not listening. Does she have a disability of some sort? My son (who will be 4 tomorrow) is mildly autistic. Social interaction with children his own age is something we are working on to help him improve. So I have been wracking my brain trying to think of people I know with kids his age, and what we could do to get them together. It may sound strange or odd to the other parent, but to me, it's something I'll risk since it will benefit my son in the longrun, plus the other child will have fun, too. So anyway, maybe the mom is thinking something along these lines.

I say go ahead and do it. It's just for a couple of hours one afternoon, and if nothing else, your kids will have a great time and always remember that day they got to make their own cupcakes.

maybe I'm not understanding the situation correctly but I thought you mentioned that she'd already had a b-day party that your son was unable to attend...so she must've already had cake there....so I'm not sure why you think it's tacky for her to suggest you to bring one thing and she bring one thing (in her case it's store bought icing).

Her daughter probably thinks of your son as a good friend who missed her b-day party so her mom is probably trying to do something that will include her friend (your son) in a b-day party type event.

Personally, I don't think it's that big of a deal...and ultimately both kids will have a great time. If you feel that you're being obligated, ask her to do it at her house, since she's got 3 kids so you don't have to worry about disciplining her kids in your house (and cleaning up). If you don't feel like making the cupcakes you can always buy them at the grocery bakery and ask them not to put the icing on. You only need a few anyway...it's not like you're going for a cake taste contest and she's buying store bought icing anyway.


I would just chalk this up to one of those things that we do for our kids that we really don't want to do but want to set a good example for our kids.

I would mention that I charge x dollars per serving. Surely she can't expect you to do it for free. I do this with my granddaughter, now her kindergarten class is going to do it for valentines day. I will bring in icing and parchment bags and the kids will decorate their cookies. the kids are wonderful and both teachers help clean up. Even in my kids cake classes there is a charge for everything.

I charge $15.00 per child for this kind of party.

That' exactly what I mean .. let's talk $$$$$ not FREE FREE FREE, then maybe you'll consider it..but don't do it for just some "Kodak Moment"..or just because,....for that AAAAAAAWWWWWWW thing!!!!!

I'd do it only if it is at HER house, so she can deal with those kids getting frosting all over the place. Just the thought of a 4 year old running around my house with frosting (or just the gooey hands afterwards that touch everything) frightens me to death...but hey, I don't have kids so I'm not used to that sort of thing!

Maybe she asked you to do the cupcakes because she knows you are a cake decorator & didn't want to get them from a grocery store. Maybe she didn't want to make her own cupcakes because she thought they would be inferior to yours. I don't think she's trying to take advantage, just sounds like her kid wants to play with your son & she thought this would be a fun idea.

I don't think I would personally charge for this. If she would have asked you to do a decorated cake, then yes I would ask for payment. I've done stuff like this with my daughter's friends & never thought about charging.

I do cookie baking and decorating for Santa at my house every year 2x one for each set of my kids and their friends ....I've learned the hard way...lol .....I do it outside I set up a table with a plastic table cover ..it's not that bad!! clean up involves picking up the plastic cover and hosing th the patio with water. ... I would have a problem with someone inviting themselves to my house... for a celebration for their kid?? ... I can't stand it when I feel people are taking advantage of me.

As a parent, I think this is an AWESOME idea! My little girl LOVES to help when I do cakes and you'd be surprised how seriously some kids will take this kind of activity.

BUT... I would do it with a few caveats. First, do it at the mom's home where she will be responsible for clean up. Secondly, instead of giving the children knives, bring the cupcakes already frosted and let the kids focus on decorating, using disposable bags of course, filled with colored icings, and no tips.

If the mom wants something a little more formal, maybe you could demonstrate some simple techniques, and then the kids could take turns using a tipped bag.

I think this is a great idea for a party and I agree with another commentor that this is just another marketing avenue.

Diane

Sounds, like to me that the daughter of the lady has ADD or ADHD. I have a daughter with ADHD and a son with ADD. It is a handful and sometimes peeps just don't understand what exactly it is and just say o make sure that they have had their meds before they go anywhere. (not griping, it's a sad fact). If you do do this I would maybe get some wholegrain muffins or something, instead of a super sweet kind of c.c. Good carbs I have found out will help her concentration whereas "bad" carbs will make her jump out of her skin.
I took my kids off the synthesized "speed" and now strictly use vitamins and mineral supplements to regulate their moods. (I know getting off on a tangent). Well I thought I would just explain a little about what it's like to have a "hyper" child.
* with doc's permission of course*
Maybe the mom feels the need to get the kids out of the house and maybe she just needs to get out of the house herself and needs "adult" conversation.
Maybe you can get her addicted to cake decorating or something.

Maybe make a separate one for that child w/ special needs..it might not be fair to the others who like the normal cupcakes or normal food eaters who prefer the regular type of food and not on medication..I don't think it would be nice to tell them "too bad , but you're eating good carbs today " I don't think all the kids would appreciate that.. !.. not everyone in that party is on medication or have that type of disability ( if it's ok to call it that)... ..good luck with what ever you decide to do..

Can I make a clarification here? This is not for a party, right? The party was a few weeks ago and your son couldn't go. So this is only for your son and this lady's daughter, and her other two young children. Right? I just wanted to clarify this point, because if it were for a full-fledged party with 15 kids, then I would agree with the others that it was rude of the mom to ask you to make cupcakes, and have everyone come to your house. BUT.....if it's only your kids and hers, I truly don't see the problem. And I'm surprised at some of the reactions I'm reading. Maybe it's a difference between those of us on this board who have kids and those who don't. I see it as this lady wanting to have a playdate of sorts between her kids and yours. She's bringing the icing, you're bringing the cupcakes. I don't see a problem with letting 10 year olds use plastic knives to put their icing on their cupcakes, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, give them spoons, or give them decorating bags and let them try out their own skills. I know what you mean about not wanting a mess in your house, but with some firm rules set beforehand (no leaving the table with any food, deco. bag, etc., and no leaving the table without wiping hands and face), have plenty of wet wipes or washcloths lying on the table in easy reach, cut head and armholes in plastic garbage bags to put over the kids clothes, line your table with a big plastic tablecloth. I really don't think it would be that messy.

Maybe I'm not reading your post right, but if I am, I honestly don't see what all the uproar is about. I really think everyone's making way too much of it, especially from the $$$ end of it. This sounds more like it should be about your kids getting together and having fun, whether you choose to make it a "Kodak moment" or not is up to you. But it's not always about making a profit.

clamping hand firmly over mouth !!! so as to not make anymore inflammatory comments (period).

The girl has either ADD or ADHD and I don't think she is well supervised, she calls my son constantly and is on the verge of being told not to call again because it's after his bedtime and stuff.
I guess the thing that has me hung up is that it's for this girl's birthday and not just a play date. I'm pretty sure that the girl is going to expect a present too. This is something I'd do for fun with a group of kids who could listen, I would likely do something like this for my own kid's birthday but not expect another parent to bring the cake or ingredients .
I guess I should have mentioned the age difference in the kids, I have a 3 year old and a 7 year old. The 7 year old is the one who's friends with this girl, they are just bus friends so he's not her bestest friend or something.
It's not the money it's just that she specifically wants to do it for the girl's birthday.

This mother obviously thinks this is a great idea and *assumes* you'd feel the same. I, personally, wouldn't ask someone to make cupcakes for me unless I was willing to pay them. Not even a good friend. Okay, maybe I'd ask my mother if I were in a bind. Is this something your son wants to do? I'd be inclined to make my decision as to whether or not to participate based on his excitement about it.

My opinion is this, if you don't want to do it, don't. I can see where you have been put into an ackward position and may be concerned about losing business if you refuse, but she is asking for a freebie anyway. You could just tell her that you are booked up for that week to save hurt feelings.

If you decide to take on this project, you should insist that it take place at her house since it is her daughter's birthday. That is just my 2 cents.

Cindy

I'm not sure what your reservations are about: the problematic kids, the thought of children with knives, the not getting paid, or the arrogance of this woman for planning an event at your house. If it's more than one of the above, I say put your foot down. Don't let her push you into discomfort.

LisaMS ....THANK YOU !!! I agree with you. Do we know anyone who would give FREE ingredients ? I don't think so !! [/quote]

Just a thought about kids and knives...I try to do a decorating thing every year at the Ronald McDonald House or a homeless shelter...and I always use Popsicle sticks...no matter how old the kids

You can buy a bag of them at any craft or dollar store for really cheap, and I think it ends up being more sanitary too--if somebody licks, they throw out the stick and start with a new one.

I think every year I have at least as much fun as the kids...

I think its also a great thing to do at a nursing home or rehab center, although I've never done it. You really dont need a whole lot of coordination to decorate -- and most people get so wrapped up in the fun of it that they dont even think about scrutinizing their work (its a great lesson for all of us sometimes!!!)

Maybe this year I will try to do it at an assisted living center near my house...hmmmm