The freshman girls basketball team was playing an away game, so they had to change in the boys locker room. Some of the girls noticed one of the girls filling her water bottle in the urinal. When they asked her what she was doing she said "filling my water bottle." The other girls asked why in the urinal, she said " oh I thought it was a water fountain that wasn't working right." 
I have a good one.. I work at a local doctors office. Bring the patient back get vitals ask why he's here and ask what kind of medications he's taking. His response "The Little White One!!!" OMFG. are you serious???
Here's another one
Lady comes in for a yearly pap... work her up give her drapes to cover up with...tell her to get undressed...in comes the doctor to do the pap....Put her in the stir-ups only to discover she has left her panties on. OMG...
and another one
I pulled a chart due to patient calling asking for a refill on his medication. I asked him which one. He didnt know the name of the pill. Says it was the only medication he was taking. So I go to pull his chart to see if there was only one medication listed in his chart. There was but guess what the dumb nurse put "little white pill" are you really serious??? a nurse really put that in someones chart, and this lady actually gives people shots and medications. OMG... So i go and confront the nurse who did it yes she still works there and she said well we didnt know what it was and he didnt know where he got it from. Hello, cant you call his wife or someone who knows the name of the "little white pill" that he's taking.
Thats all for now....will probably think of more later....
Holy friggin' crap, that's funny! I thought I was the only one.
Patient: "I need my subcription refilled" (yes, they said subscription, not prescription)
pharmacist: "Sure, which one?"
patient: "It's the little round white one"
Seriously....how many little round white pills are there??? About a million or so!
Im going to tell on myself, i was shopping for clothes for myself(i hate doing this) i ask the girl behind the counter what a person would normally wear with the type of shirt i bought, the girl just looks at me and say pants
all i could think of was hears your sign
I have a good one.. I work at a local doctors office. Bring the patient back get vitals ask why he's here and ask what kind of medications he's taking. His response "The Little White One!!!" OMFG. are you serious???
oh no, I must go to your office! I am an old lady, with diabeties and hypo thyroid. I take four medications a day: my diabetic pills, and my thyroid pills. I also take high blood pressure pills and cholestral pills. Because my insurance won't pay for anything REAL, I have to do everything generic (except the synthroid, which my doctor won't let me take generic) the names of these pills are a mile long and sometimes even change as my insurance will only pay for certain pills. So when I go to the doctor, I do not remember the name of the pills, and sometimes remember to write them down, sometimes not. So I tell them "the pink ones for my thyroid, the white ones for the diabeties, etc etc. Since my doctor prescribed these pills to me, I would ASSUME she would have put them in the chart and I never understood this question...maybe they should ask instead what drugs besides the ones the doctors prescribe to you do you take? Then I would happily answer "legal or non legal?" Or is cake considered a drug?
My question to the nurses is why if I CAN remember the name of a drug they ask me how its spelled!!
My pharmacy knows me so well...I CAN walk in and say I need a refill on my thyroid drug or my high blood pressure drug and they don't ask which one....(actually he doesnt even ask me my name..isn't that sad?)
What a drag it is getting old....at least I have been able to avoid the hormone pills!
One of my many jobs involves marketing and selling our bank's repossessed loan collateral. I had a call just the other day from someone that purchased a repossessed travel trailer "AS IS." He wanted to know if I would contact the previous owner and ask if they had some of the items that were missing from the camper. I started to explain that the previous owner had this camper repossessed and wasn't likely to be very cooperative, when the new owner stopped me and said, "But it's missing real important stuff!" When I asked what was missing he said, "There aren't any sheets or pillows for the bed." 
That's just nasty that you'd WANT someone else's old sheets and pillows.
[quote="loriemoms"]
Since my doctor prescribed these pills to me, I would ASSUME she would have put them in the chart
oh my, I thought my doctor was the only one like that! 
I do NOT know the names of any medications I am prescribed. My sister is one of those who likes to impress people with knowing ALL about whatever medicine she's on and she can go on and on about it. It's very annoying, so I guess I go the opposite way so I won't be like her.
So I'm in the doctor's office and he's trying to figure out which pill he had prescribed. He's scrolling thru screen after screen of pills, asking me "Did it look like this one? How about this one?" We have a fun relationship so I told him, "Silly me, I thought that's why you just spent all that money for this new computer system so you could KEEP TRACK of little stuff like, oh I don't know, what medicine you give me!"
I went in one day and he asked, "So how are we doing on our exercise plan?" I said, "We have an excercise plan? "
I have a good one.. I work at a local doctors office. Bring the patient back get vitals ask why he's here and ask what kind of medications he's taking. His response "The Little White One!!!" OMFG. are you serious???
oh no, I must go to your office! I am an old lady, with diabeties and hypo thyroid. I take four medications a day: my diabetic pills, and my thyroid pills. I also take high blood pressure pills and cholestral pills. Because my insurance won't pay for anything REAL, I have to do everything generic (except the synthroid, which my doctor won't let me take generic) the names of these pills are a mile long and sometimes even change as my insurance will only pay for certain pills. So when I go to the doctor, I do not remember the name of the pills, and sometimes remember to write them down, sometimes not. So I tell them "the pink ones for my thyroid, the white ones for the diabeties, etc etc. Since my doctor prescribed these pills to me, I would ASSUME she would have put them in the chart and I never understood this question...maybe they should ask instead what drugs besides the ones the doctors prescribe to you do you take? Then I would happily answer "legal or non legal?" Or is cake considered a drug?
My question to the nurses is why if I CAN remember the name of a drug they ask me how its spelled!!
My pharmacy knows me so well...I CAN walk in and say I need a refill on my thyroid drug or my high blood pressure drug and they don't ask which one....(actually he doesnt even ask me my name..isn't that sad?)
What a drag it is getting old....at least I have been able to avoid the hormone pills!
lol almost that way with me too .. cept the other day i went in and i said ' refill for Hengen'
she said "Grimm?" i said no hengen..
to which she said "grimm?"
i repeated "no.. Hengen" lol
she knew who i was just had one of those brain fart days lol...
I have one that unfortunately I'm the dumb-dumb in. Hubby and I went to see an air show once. We ended up setting up our chairs near a construction area. I had to go to the bathroom, so I had to use a port-a-potty that was on the construction lot. After I came out, hubby asks if it was really stinky in there (I'm very sensitve to smells and am very particular about where I "potty" so he knew using a port-a-potty wouldn't be my favorite thing to do). I told him it wasn't bad.
Then I said "I was almost going to use the soap in the holder, but I remembered I have Purell in my purse, so I didn't use it. Plus, it didn't look like very good soap."
He says "What soap? There's never soap in a port-a-potty."
I say "The round soap thingy in the holder with the holey thing on the side of the wall."
He says, "You mean the urinal cake?"
I say "What's a urinal cake?" (No lie. I'd never heard of one until that very moment.)
He says "Its something they put in urinals so they don't smell. Men pee on them."
I say "Are you serious? I was thisclose to using that as soap!"
We laughed for a long time. Soooooo glad I remembered the Purell in my purse. If not, I think I'd still be traumatized to this day had I used a urinal cake to wash my hands. 
ohh i have some good husband ones from when I was pregnant:
seeing a bottle of prenatal vitamins on the desk:
Hubby - what are those?
me - prenatal vitamins?
Hubby - are they safe to take with the baby?
after a sonogram:
Hubby - he looks bony (4th month)
me- he's fine
hubby - is he ok
me - he's fine
hubby - how can you tell if he has skin?
me (after stopping laughing) thats what holds all the parts together honey
after a 3D sonogram near my due date:
Hubby - how come he has brown eyes
me - why do you think he has brown eyes?
hubby- his eyes are open in the sonogram
me- i understand, but why do you think that they are brown? mine are green and yours are blue - brown isn't common in either family
Hubby - LOOK at the picture!! his eyes are brown
me - (once again after stopping laughing) honey... the entire picture is brown.. it's called sepia tone and thats NOT his actual coloring
around JP's 1st birthday
Wednesday I was working late. hubby calls me and the conversation was as such:
hubby: "I think somethings wrong with the baby"
Me: "Why?"
hubby: "he's laughing at the ceiling"
Me: " is he eating ok?"
hubby: " Yes"
Me: "drinking from his bottle ok?"
hubby: "yes"
Me: "interacting with you ok?"
hubby: "yes"
Me: "he's 12 months old, he does weird things"
Ok, I have one too, it is not cake related
It was late at night and I heard something downstairs, so I went to take a look I did on the light ofcourse. I saw something reflect from the corner of my eye. As I turned around I totally jumped out of my skin, only to find myself looking in the.... mirror.
I was so glad there was nobody there to see haha, felt really silly afterwards
Ok, I have one too, it is not cake related
It was late at night and I heard something downstairs, so I went to take a look I did on the light ofcourse. I saw something reflect from the corner of my eye. As I turned around I totally jumped out of my skin, only to find myself looking in the.... mirror.
I was so glad there was nobody there to see haha, felt really silly afterwards
*knee slappin laff* "I've done that too!!"
I'm sure we've all seen this email, but this should be the mascot for this forum...
Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Wal-Mart Employee: "Hello, this is Wal-Mart Bakery, how can I help you?"
Customer: " I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."
Wal-Mart Bakery Department Employee: "What do you want on the cake?"
Customer: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you".
I have to tell about the first time I met my DH's (then DB) family. i went to Thanksgiving dinner with them. His dad starts talking about how his prostate is swollen (I know tmi! But it gets even better.) His Grandma yells out "mine too." After someone explained that this was impossible and why, she says "well if I had one it would be." Yep these are the genes I passed on to my children.
Hah! This thread is great. When it's not midnight on a night I have to get up in 5 hours, I'll have to read the whole thing. Here's my contribution, though:
My husband is a doctor. He told me about a lady who ended up giving birth in the ambulance and was upset when she arrived at the hospital and found that the paramedics had already named her daughter. She decided it was a rather pretty name, though, and kept it.
Curious as to why a paramedic would name the child, the doctor asked a few more questions. It turns out that the bassinet the child was in was labeled "Female." The woman thought it was pronounced, "Fe-MAH-lee." Can you imagine going through life saying, "Yes, ma'am, I'm Female Jones."
Paramedics have apparently been known to pull a few pranks on those who fit into this thread's topic, suggesting exotic names they've never heard of before, like gonorrhea and syphilis. :O
I've heard that one before. I heard once about a person who named her twins Lemojello and Orangejello (pron le-MAHN-ja-low and or AHN-ja-low)
My friend has a really stupid family, and she said they once got into a huge argument during a game of trivial pursuit. The question was "what war involved 23 countries" or somethng like that, and they were arguing about whether it was the Revolutionary War or the Civil War. She says it's painful to go visit them.
During the same game, her uncle got the question "who discovered the North Pole" and he yelled out that it was Santa Claus.
My mom has given me alot of these to share!!
In the car one day while running errand a couple of years ago and I was making fun of her for something ditsy she did:
Mom: "Well, you know the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree!!"
Me: "Mom, it's apple..."
Just a couple weeks ago while watching the swimming olympics:
Mom telling story of what happened the night before: "So I was sitting there watching and they were showing all of the swimmers and I saw on one of their jackets that there was something written. He was Asian and I thought how cool, he has his name on his jacket- Ja-Pan (said with an Asian accent).... oh wait... that's Japan.
It was his country, not his name. I told my friends what she had told me as it was really funny and later that night she came in to the living room to say good night and my friend goes: "Hey Connie, there was just a relay on and the guys on one team were all brothers! They were all named Ja-Pan!!" Haha I still get a kick thinking about that one...
I will post more when I think of a good one as these things happen at least once a week at my house....
Okay, seriously DO NOT LAUGH at me!
My co-worker and I were talking one day and I think someone on her team was traveling to Switzerland. I asked, what language do they speak there (I was not sure if it was predominately german or english) and she said, "I think they speak Swiss." I burst out laughing and said, "That's not a language." And she was like, "Yes it is." Then I thought, "she's a certified teacher so maybe she's right and I'm clueless." I can't believe I actually called my husband and asked him if Swiss was a language. He died laughing and I felt like an idiot.
Ok, this is about my now 19 yr old & 13 yr old daughters...At the time this happened they were 15 & 10.. My mother takes them to Sam's with her and as they were going down the aisles they see some really pretty hour glasses for sale. My then 15 year old looks and says "look, hour glasses!! I wonder how long they go?" 
My mother is cracking up, a lady on the other aisle is cracking up and my then 10 yr old looks at her sister and says, "Duh Sissie, they are HOUR glasses they go for a HOUR"
Names..Names...Everyone wants to be original. I used to work at an emergency room.
Lady gives her daughters name and pronounces Va..gina. Spells it Vagina. Imagine controlling that laughter for a minute while she is looking at you.
is that even legal?
Names..Names...Everyone wants to be original. I used to work at an emergency room.
Lady gives her daughters name and pronounces Va..gina. Spells it Vagina. Imagine controlling that laughter for a minute while she is looking at you.
I remember a Paul Harvey story about a woman who named her twins Syphillis and Gonorhea. (You gotta believe she hated her kids!)
My husband's favorite is the name of the bank teller where we do business. Her name is LaTrina. Sound it out. Think of the bathrooms at camp...latrines.
Hah! This thread is great. When it's not midnight on a night I have to get up in 5 hours, I'll have to read the whole thing. Here's my contribution, though:
My husband is a doctor. He told me about a lady who ended up giving birth in the ambulance and was upset when she arrived at the hospital and found that the paramedics had already named her daughter. She decided it was a rather pretty name, though, and kept it.
Curious as to why a paramedic would name the child, the doctor asked a few more questions. It turns out that the bassinet the child was in was labeled "Female." The woman thought it was pronounced, "Fe-MAH-lee." Can you imagine going through life saying, "Yes, ma'am, I'm Female Jones."
Paramedics have apparently been known to pull a few pranks on those who fit into this thread's topic, suggesting exotic names they've never heard of before, like gonorrhea and syphilis. :O
I've heard that one before. I heard once about a person who named her twins Lemojello and Orangejello (pron le-MAHN-ja-low and or AHN-ja-low)
Lemonjello and Orangejello do exist. My husband's friend is a teacher and had both in his class several years ago!
Hah! This thread is great. When it's not midnight on a night I have to get up in 5 hours, I'll have to read the whole thing. Here's my contribution, though:
My husband is a doctor. He told me about a lady who ended up giving birth in the ambulance and was upset when she arrived at the hospital and found that the paramedics had already named her daughter. She decided it was a rather pretty name, though, and kept it.
Curious as to why a paramedic would name the child, the doctor asked a few more questions. It turns out that the bassinet the child was in was labeled "Female." The woman thought it was pronounced, "Fe-MAH-lee." Can you imagine going through life saying, "Yes, ma'am, I'm Female Jones."
Paramedics have apparently been known to pull a few pranks on those who fit into this thread's topic, suggesting exotic names they've never heard of before, like gonorrhea and syphilis. :O
Snopes.com has an interesting topic on this kinda stuff. Just look up one of the names and the topic will come up or "funny names". Female came from Cagney and Lacey. Lemongello was a pitcher for the Astros...so yes, some of them are true! You could imagine with language barriers and miseducation all the craziness that is possible.
And some people here must think we are equally stupid 
The name ones like Vagina and Lemonjello and Orangjello are all urban legends. Even the story of Female. Come on...does anyone not check out snopes.com or the like?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/513339/lemonjello_and_female_debunking_the.html?cat=25
As for the above poster, Lemongelo was the guys last name - so lemongelo is a real sur name. His parents didn't name him lemonjello and his twin brother orangejello as the story goes.
Trixyinaz, did you not read the post entirely? I even mentioned the snopes.com website.
Snopes doesn't say it's false actually. It DOES point out with the culture/educational barrier that it IS possible. And I did say it was his last name and Female was from a TV show.
I knew a kid whose parents gave him the same first, middle and last name. My husband went to school with a girl named Mary Juana, her name is printed as such in his yearbook.
Some parents are drunk with power!
I used to work with a girl named Candy Christmas, and her best friend's name was Candy Kane. They would go out to bars and guys would think they were lying when they told them their names. To make it better, Candy Christmas's mother's name was Mary Christmas.
And to make it even better, she was dating a guy who she swore looked like David Lee Roth (this was when he was "sexy," not just bald.) She had a picture of David Lee that she kept next to her desk, and when her boyfriend called her on the phone she would talk to him and stroke the picture of David Lee. (eeeew.) One day her boyfriend came to pick her up, and he looked like a 5'5" tall drowned rat with long greasy blonde hair and a sparse moustache. They eventually got married and moved into her nother's mobile home with her mother and her father, then she kicked him out the next day. They got a quick divorce, then he moved back in. She said that she could live with him, but not be maried to him, because as soon as they got married he started bossing her around. At least she was smart enough to figure THAT part of it out!
Cakemaker - actually, you did not mention that Lemongello was his last name. I'll give you Female from Cagney and Lacey, but that's not real life. And yes, the stories quoted here about the twins Lemonjello and Orangejello and the baby name Female or Nosmo King are just that...STORIES. However, Nosmo King is real, but not real in the sense that his parents were ignoran and named him that after seeing a No Smoking sign, as most of these stories depict. In this case, an actor picked this name as his stage name. See the difference?
Everyone has heard of someone who knew a second cousin's best friend's wife who worked at a hospital where a baby was named Female (pronounced fa-MAL-lay). But did it ever really happen?
What about the famous e-mail story of the twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello because their mother craved Jell-O in the hospital? Was it true or just urban legend?
While they are certainly interesting and sometimes racially provocative stories, these are nothing more than urban legend. The stories were just that- stories.
My source is in my previous post. I'm not saying that someone out there isn't named one of these silly names, but the stories posted here are the same stories that have been debunked, which by the way have been around for at least a hundred years. Which came first, the chicken or the egg. As like this, most stories came before someone named their kid Vagina or Female. Apparently they liked the story enough to name their kid after it. I just don't get it.
And I'm certainly not saying that all funny/disturbing names aren't real - just a few of the stories that were mentioned here. One of my customer's name is Jack Frost.
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