I am making a FREE cake for dh's nephew this weekend. That is not my vent, his mom, SIL asked and I happily agreed. I feel sorry for her because, long story short, she is the one stuck paying for the entire wedding and she is about to have a nervous breakdown stressing about it. The bride makes probably twice as much money as SIL does so I don't know why she can't lift a finger to pay for anything for her wedding!

Anyways, the only reason it is any of my business to be irritated about is because of this cake... SIL bought the ingredients and pans I need, but she was supposed to give me money to pick up stuff from the cake store here in town (they live in a different state and don't have a store there), well she never did, so now I am stuck stressing over buying this stuff. I undercharged for my last wedding cake order, then someone stole 80$ out of my wallet so I barely had enough left to cover my costs, I definitely can't afford to buy stuff for this cake! She told dh she would pay me back but who knows if it will actually happen.

I am just irritated because they have just left me to make this cake without getting me everything I need for it. I am a stay at home mom with no steady income, except when I get a cake order, I should not have to take care of this stuff for them. The bride has a really good job and I'm sorry but I just think you have to be a spoiled brat to just sit back and let everyone else pay for everything for you.

Also, they told me to do whatever I wanted with the cake, so I picked a nice design and they said it was fine. Well two days ago she decides to tell me she doesn't want the design I picked, that she wants something else, so I'm frantically trying to find ideas because it's a style that I've never done before.

One more thing, lol... I told her to buy strawberries for me to make the filling, and she sent this strawberry puree stuff.. it tastes so fake! I am just worried about my reputation. I can't buy more, well I shouldn't have to buy real strawberries so I don't know what to do. I guess I will just use it

Ok I think I'm done venting lol

Here's a hug back to you Melissa. I guess I'm not the only one having problems. I'm sorry they are treating you this way.

Hugsss,
Lazy_Susan

Oh man, I feel your pain. I am so sorry you are stressed, and being put in this position. It's never easy when these ungrateful people try to drag you down. It's usually typical that the brides family pays for the wedding, so I am shocked she's not pitching in for anything. Keep your chin up and know that we are pulling for you!!

Oh, and if you feel sad... just look at your own avatar... at those beautiful babies!! What a gorgeous crew!!

So sorry....I really feel for you. I've been there too.

You HAVE to be honest. You are already doing it for free, but if the arrangement was that they would pay for the supplies and such, just give them a call, send them an email or whatever and tell them the cost.

You have a family and it is not fair that your family has to sacrifice or be stressed out because someone else is not paying. Family is so hard, but it is still a business arrangement.

When I started out, the least of my concerns was the money and I was bad about asking for it and even worrying about it. I finally learned that it was a business...family or not. This was my income.

We've all been there at one time or another. Don't be afraid to be honest and up front...you'll be glad you did! Good luck!

i would politely speak to the couple and let them know that without additional funds, you do not have what it takes to complete THEIR cake. I am sure they'll pull rabbits out of hats at this point, they'll want their cake. I would give them a quote of X amount of dollars and leave it at that...if you dont have any money, how can you buy it yourself? I dont buy the comment on "I'll pay you back" because then it is on their convenient timing...what if between now and then, your kid needs diapers (or something) but you squeezed out every penny you have on this cake instead. i feel for you, that is just NOT fair! but personally, i'd explain that without them giving you more money NOW, you cant complete the cake. its not mean. its more than fair! by the way, they should also say thank you!!!!

Hon you have a right to vent. I believe you need to approach the bride or SIL tactfully explaining that a wedding cake is a once in a life time memory, and you know they want a really nice one. That it is not feasible financially for you to front the money it will cost to make a nice cake right now, and if they want this done right they need to get the money to you asap and this is what I need $$$$$$$$$

I'm sorry that you are in this position and people are seemingly taking advantage of your generousity. Can you call her and tell her that you need the money because you aren't in a position to offer anything more than your time for this cake? As for the strawberry filling - tell them that it tastes awful (obviously she didn't taste it) and leave the decision up to her if she wants the 'real' thing or not.

Good luck and keep up posted how the situation and cake turn out! Keep your chin up!

Even if you're doing it for free for family, you could still tell them that you can't actually start on it until you have all the supplies. Give them a quick list of what you're still lacking and the cost of the list and tell them you need these items paid for or you can't go ahead with the cake.

....or grit your teeth and buy them yourself, whichever is less stressful...

Good luck. These kind of weddings are stressful; I'm dealing with one myself right at the moment who aren't family, and they are ThisClose to having their cake for next Sat canceled altogether if they don't get me the full payment by Friday (which is a WEEK beyond my usual deadline! Oh, and they haven't got me color swatches for ribbon OR what type of flowers we're using OR a signed contract. I'm losing sleep over this one myself... )

Bless your heart you are on the verge of saint hood you just need to do like so many others have said tell them you cannot complete their cake without the additional funds cause you have your family and they come first. Honesty is always the best way to go and that money should come to you before you purchase anything out of your own pocket. As for that strawberry filling I would not use it tell them how bad it tastes they probably have no idea and you don't want your name to go down as the lady whose cake tasted badly because you may get other orders from this cake. Good luck!! Keep us posted.

I would tell the SIL (and bride) that since you are essentially doing the cake for free, you are not going to keep changing the design. She originally told you to do "whatever" and beggars cannot be choosers. Point out that the design she wants now is one you have never done before and you cannot guarantee it will turn out as she envisioned.
Just because she is stressed out does not mean you have to be. She should be thanking her lucky stars that you are willing to make the cake at all !!!

I guess I just have too much spunk. I would have came out and said I don't have the money to buy the things I need. If you want me to make the cake I need you to pay me up front. Not saying it nasty, but telling it the way it is. What are you suppose to do go pick the money off the money tree in the back yard.

I know how you feel about the strawberry filling. I take great pride in my work and I know I couldn't use it. At this point I would tell her that there are special supplies that makes the cake and you will pick the items up with the money she gives you.

I have a feeling that she is trying to get the cake for free. She may be hoping you will let it go and not say anything or she thinks when/if she offers you the money you will say no, consider part of the wedding gift.

If you don't speak up for yourself people will walk all over you. I find that speaking up does not cause the person to be angry because you are only bringing up what you agreed on. If anything she should feel foolish.

Wow...even if you agreed to do this cake for them for free...you should have made them sign a contract stipulating no changes after X amount of days, etc., and not to mention you should have included a notation that you have the right to refuse service should they fail to hold up their end of the bargain (providing supplies, etc.,)

Good luck to you!

unless you have told her you can't make the cake without getting cash to buy the ingredients, she has no way of knowing. Just call her and let her know and see what happens from there.

People know that everything takes money...including cakes. It just burns me up hearing so many stories about clients and family members alike losing their minds when it comes to this subject. You have to think of all the time and care involved and not to mention ingredients! But it seems that people just think of it as easy or cheap and it is neither. I can understand your anger and I think melysa gave some good advice. I hope everything works out for you!

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement! I really do appreciate it. I think everything will turn out alright, I just get really stressed when I'm in the middle of a big cake project and all these extra problems get to me.
Thanks again!

I just viewed you pics on your site Melissa, and all of them are beautiful. I really like the Strawberry Shortcake birthday cake and the wedding cake with Gerbera Daisies were my favorites! Gerberas were my wedding bouquet! (In red, pink, purple, yellow and orange).