Feeling Down...

Lounge By tesso Updated 26 Jul 2015 , 11:06pm by Shasha2727

tesso Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 12:20pm
post #1 of 15

hello fellow bakers....

i have been ill for awhile now and unable to bake i still sketch cakes that i will one day get to bake and i read on here and get inspired and i think of recipes, techniques etc... but today my youngest niece got married. all i have ever wanted was to make her wedding cake. well, i didnt get to. my illness wouldnt let me even go to the wedding. so here i am. she always wanted me to make her cake but she definitely knows it wasnt even closely possible for me to do. and i had the perfect wedding cake sketched out for her and didnt know anyone close  by who could have made it for her. i am just sad about it. thanks for letting me cry on your guys' shoulder, i appreciate it. 

14 replies
SquirrellyCakes Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 12:37pm
post #2 of 15

Awwh, so sorry that you are not well and missed out on doing this. I hope you feel better soon. Perhaps for her 1 st anniversary you will be able to make a scaled down version of what you had in mind?

I think we get frustrated with ourselves when we cannot do what we wish to do, due to illness. I wish you many better days ahead and many more wonderful cakes to sketch. How talented you must be to be able to sketch your cake designs. I am afraid mine would look like "Stick men cakes"!


Webake2gether Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 12:41pm
post #3 of 15

I was going to suggest the same idea as @SquirrellyCakes  I'm very sorry to hear that you are feeling down and not able to do something you enjoy. I hope that you are better soon and able to get back to baking :)

remnant3333 Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 1:35pm
post #4 of 15

Tesso, I am sorry to hear that you are sick. My husband and I were sick for five years with something similar to Lymes Disease and thought we were going to die. But somehow God miraculously pulled us out of the fire and we are better now.  So keep your faith and hang in there because Jesus can do the impossible to those who believe!! Sorry you missed out on making your niece's wedding cake!! Like someone else said, maybe you can make their anniversary cake one day!! Until then my prayers will be with you!!

810whitechoc Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 2:01pm
post #5 of 15

Tesso, so sorry to read your post.  Hang in there and think about the cake you will eventually make for her.


Pastrybaglady Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 4:13pm
post #6 of 15

Aww, it's very disappointing but you need to take care of yourself to bake another day! Hope you feel better soon.

jgifford Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 7:12pm
post #7 of 15


So sorry to hear you're ill and unable to bake.  I know it doesn't help, as I've tried to tell others every time I hear it, but. . .

"This, too, shall pass." Hang in there, take care of yourself first and you'll be up and baking every one of those wonderful sketches before you know it. 

Apti Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 8:18pm
post #8 of 15

Tesso, although you aren't able to make the wedding cake, you WILL (hopefully!) be able to make the 1 year anniversary cake extraordinarily special.   Retain your drawings and make a smaller version of the dream cake a year from now.  Depending on whether the newlyweds wish to have a huge blow-out first anniversary or a private dinner with just the two of them, you will be able to share in the joy of their first year of happiness as a couple.


costumeczar Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 9:39pm
post #9 of 15

I'm sorry you didn't get to make the cake, but the idea of the anniversary cake is good! I hope that you're feeling better soon and can get back to decorating.

-K8memphis Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 10:34pm
post #10 of 15

hopefully you'll get to enjoy pictures soon but that sucks big time -- it's a once in a lifetime event and a stupid illness nobody wants anyhow knocked you out of not only fulfilling a longtime dream but knocked you off the guest list too  -- it's not fair and there's no getting around it "hope deferred makes the heart sick" I feel yah

there ain't no make up days either, yes it sucks miserably

-K8memphis Posted 12 Jul 2015 , 10:36pm
post #11 of 15

and you're effing sick on top of everything -- not fair, dang it!

tesso Posted 14 Jul 2015 , 6:07pm
post #12 of 15

thanks for the shoulders. i am feeling better. i like the idea of an anniversary cake. can only hope i am up on my feet by her anniversary next year.  i am so sick of being sick.  she has been sending me pics and videos of niagra falls, where they went for honeymoon. then yesterday her sisters water broke and now two twin boys will be here when they get back. lol 

-K8memphis Posted 14 Jul 2015 , 8:03pm
post #13 of 15

omg twins! so cool

SquirrellyCakes Posted 15 Jul 2015 , 12:31am
post #14 of 15

Awwh tesso, being sick for a long time can be frustrating. Sometimes we get angry with ourselves because we cannot do the things we want to do.

Sounds like your niece is enjoying the falls. How nice. They are quite majestic.

How exciting for your other niece to have twins! She is going to be busy.

Hang in there. We all wish you well.

Shasha2727 Posted 26 Jul 2015 , 11:06pm
post #15 of 15

Hello Tesso - So sorry to hear you missed making your niece's cake. And that you are sick. I'm in treatment for cancer for the 3rd time now, as well as myelodysplastic syndrome, a bone marrow 'malfunction'. I had pretty much quit making cakes & doing all but the essentials to survive, but since April, I have felt well enough to make a few of my favorite cakes ever. Hang in there, do everything you can to heal yourself. And listen to your Doctors, too, they are necessary evils.  If you message me your email address, I'd like to send you a link with a certificate for a book written by a friend on Self Healing that I believe might help. Certainly can't hurt!

MEANWHILE, use this time to read everthing you can, in print and online. I recently inherited some old Culinary Institute cookbooks with great old recipes I've really enjoyed reading, and the ones I've made have been great. I got books from the library, and bought old back editions of 'Here Comes The Cake' & some other cake "porn" as we call it. I took a few classes online from Craftsy, which I loved, as I could start & stop at will.

If you have a cake club or an I.C.E.S. or equivalent branch in your area, maybe you could attend some meetings, or talk to people involved with them. The energy of like minded people might help energize you. But most importantly, just keep a positive outlook. RIght before I began feeling better, I was really down, and ready to give up. And then I remembered what someone told me, "you have to believe to receive". At that moment, I decided it was time to ask God for the help I knew He could give. In my heart I pictured the vision of where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do, and I spoke to God like never before, from a place of desperation, & believe He heard me. I began feeling stronger, and pressed myself to get going. Within 3 days, out of the blue I got a call from a new customer who had seen an old ad I had at our dry cleaners. She had very specific visions of what she wanted, and was willing to pay a fair price for the work. I was very excited about the whole prospect, and even tho I wasn't 100% sure I could deliver, I said I would, and just worked as much as possible each day, taking breaks, working late, and things have flowed from there. In the past 3 months she & her family have had me do 5 cakes for 50 or more each time, and there is no end in sight to the parties they have planned long term. And she has friends who are seeing & tasting my cakes, who are calling to start planning future cakes.

4 years ago when I got sick again, I was very close to opening a small shop. I won't be doing that, but I will continue to do the best work I can, work I am very happy with. It's helping me pull myself back out of the rut.

My labs have improved, but it's hardly over. I continue getting treatments twice or 3 times a month. I'm waiting to be approved for a bone marrow transplant, which takes a lllooonngggg time. But I just keep pushing through as best I can. Every time I hit an obstacle or bump in the road, I stop, and figure a way around it slowly. I'm allowing myself more time than I used to, (I did everything as lst minute as possible!!) I sketch my cake, plan the details, and put more time into planning than I used to when I just winged it Y hoped for the best. I do everything I can as early as possible; I just made fondant crosses for a baptism cake a month away, something I would have done a day or two prior in the past, which makes me calmer. I'm enjoying the work again, and praying I get to continue to improve in every way.

I realize there are many things I don't know about the nature of your illness, but I am sending you good vibes and best wishes.  May you find your way back to where you believe you belong, and believe it with all your heart. Picture this place, in great detail, and ask God to help you get there again, and again and again if need be. I believe He will help you. 


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