How Do I Say No??

Lounge By Sarah1986 Updated 19 Jun 2014 , 3:46pm by maisie73

Sarah1986 Posted 18 Jun 2014 , 10:38am
post #1 of 14

Ok so my friend asked me to make her 3 tiered wedding cake covered in a lace effect, at the time I was put on the spot and under pressure so I agreed. She now tells me she wants all 3 tiers doing in different flavour cakes, and the venue is 3 hours away from me.


I feel really uncomfortable doing the cake and espically the fact it is 3 hours away, I have tried to tell her to get someone more local to the venue to do the cake but she has said she will transport the cake so I dont have the responsibility. However I still don't feel comfy doing the actual cake.


How do I tell her in the nicest possible way? I don't want to do it??????? I feel so bad!!!




13 replies
Crazy-Gray Posted 18 Jun 2014 , 10:48am
post #2 of 14

ASince you've already said yes under pressure then no matter how you put it you are going to let her down.

You could say 'on reflection I cannot manage this cake and I will not let you have a cake you are not proud to serve' don't be vague with 'I don't think I can manage it' be clear that you cannot do it or you will end up with a reply along the lines of 'of course you can I have faith in you.....'.

I personally would offer her what I would have spent in materials toward the cost of buying a replacement and I would help find a great baker to look after her.

Sarah1986 Posted 18 Jun 2014 , 11:03am
post #3 of 14

Thanks for the reply. I haven't spent anything in materials yet as the wedding isn't until October so she still has plenty of time I would think, I just don't feel comfortable at all, I wouldn't want it to be a disaster. I havent made that many cakes either I prefer the cupcake side of things/

maisie73 Posted 18 Jun 2014 , 11:28am
post #4 of 14

AMaybe tell her that when you agreed you didn't realise it would be three hours away and you're not comfortable with it travelling that far with or without you, so sorry but no. How good a friend is she? Are you going to the wedding? Do you really think it's beyond your capabilities or are you just having a wobble?

maybenot Posted 18 Jun 2014 , 7:30pm
post #5 of 14

Just bite the bullet and tell her exactly what you've said here:


"You know, after thinking about it, I realize that I'm not the one to do your cake.  I CAN'T do it because I don't feel that I have the skills or the equipment and I'm really uncomfortable with the transport time & distance.  You'll need to get someone else to make the cake.  I'm really sorry, but this is how it has to be."


If, rather than a wedding gift, you want to give her some money toward the cake, that's up to you, but be sure that you explain to her that the $ IS YOUR WEDDING GIFT so that she doesn't get huffy later when she thinks that you should have given her something in addition.


Honesty is the best policy.  If your being honest ticks her off, that's her fault and you don't need her as a friend, anyway.

Sarah1986 Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 7:11am
post #6 of 14

Thanks. I think I have decided I may give it ago, after all it cant be that hard right? 3 tiers, one raspberry sponge, one vanilla one chocolate, stacked and iced with a lace effect??


What is the easiest way to do an lace effect in ivory icing?




Crazy-Gray Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 7:28am
post #7 of 14

ACake lace

Are you going to do a practice run before her big day?

maisie73 Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 8:25am
post #8 of 14

AHave you made a tiered cake before? In theory it's not that hard but you really need to be well prepared.

Gray's right about the cake lace and you'll have loads of help here with that if you need it, it's all the rage on the UK thread!

October shouldn't be very warm so you won't have the problems hot weather brings.

I'd do a practice run before the day as well if I were you. The whole cake from start to finish.

Sarah1986 Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 10:40am
post #9 of 14

The whole cake?? It will cost a fortune out of my own money lol.


Yes I have done tirered cakes before, 2 tiers thou and this one is three, I know all about the dowling etc.


Do you know a good website to buy cake lace kits from? Also how do I get ivory?




aprildaisy Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 1:18pm
post #10 of 14

If you know how to tier already, maybe do simple one or two layer cakes to practice the lace effect and share the cake? 

Sarah1986 Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 1:22pm
post #11 of 14


Originally Posted by aprildaisy 

If you know how to tier already, maybe do simple one or two layer cakes to practice the lace effect and share the cake?

Good idea, where can I buy the lace stuff from in the UK?

aprildaisy Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 1:37pm
post #12 of 14

Do a search for "cake lace kits UK" and several companies come up. There's also (search: cake lace) that has lots of videos. There's also molds, interesting. :D 

maisie73 Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 3:45pm
post #13 of 14

AI agree with Aprildaisy then, you don't need to do the whole cake if you've already made tiered cakes. I got my cake lace, mat and spreading knife from Amazon. I got the claire bowman peacock mat because I've seen it made and liked it- there are so many different ones to choose from! I haven't made any yet and I don't know how to colour it but I'm pretty sure someone on the UK thread did. If you ask on there you'll get lots of help. :-)

maisie73 Posted 19 Jun 2014 , 3:46pm
post #14 of 14

AActually I'm pretty sure I've seen claire bowmans lace in ivory.

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