And that $2.00/serving was a gift, too....I normally charge starting at $3.00/svg for a cake being prepped for proper decoration.  Sheet cakes, I charge less because I don't worry about having PERFECT icing....only smooth, or a nice texture.

AI'm sorry you had that happen bees knees, it sucks when people are so completely ignorant of not only the work you are offering to do, but also of basic manners in their replies.

I will never understand why people think it's OK to tell you your talents aren't worth paying for. 'It's more than my budget' is fine. 'Your prices are ridiculous' is not!

Yep, she really doesn't know any better.

I'm still seething a little and I just don't know how to respond in a way that will make her understand AND not make her go tell all of her friends that I am a total (insert mean name).

My usual style is loaded with sarcasm, but I know that will not work here!

AIf it makes you feel any better, my husband had to sit next to me whilst I replied to the person who asked me for a quote tonight to ensure I didn't vent my anger to her :-) Mind you, at least your customer complimented you before saying you charge too much, so that's something...

My style also usually tends towards sarcasm - sometimes bordering on thinly veiled contempt, so I often write the whole thing out with exactly what I want to say, read it to myself, then delete and do a polite version for the sake of my business! It helps to get it out of my system.

I have started just mentioning how long it will take for a cake to be made when I get told prices are too high. For instance, 'X will do this cake for £20'. 'I'm glad you found someone within your budget who can do X hours of work for that price, and I hope your cake is lovely'. My hope is it will at least make them think for two seconds about the time involved!

Just a tip, when I am going beyond for a customer I always make it clear so that they will know.

"My cakes start at $3/serving but in honor of... I am offering you $2/slice."

However, I never discount anymore. It's just too frustrating because some people just don't appreciate what you're doing for them and I can't be bothered with the bad feelings. 

So, if, for example, I want to try a new decorating technique on a cake, I put it on the invoice, and then subtract it at the end. Even if it's free delivery. I don't want anyone to assume anything.

Jen

AIt's discouraging, but what can you do. You dodged a bullet, because you probably wouldn't have received any thanks in return for your generosity. I'm in a big military area, and some of the military people are super grateful for offers like that, and some are demanding and ungrateful. The actual enlisted and retired members, I've yet to meet one that isn't pleasant. It's usually the girlfriends and wives. Just Google dependapotamus, and you should get a clear picture of that. ;-)

AAnd I swear to God, if a single person interprets that as a blanket description of ALL military spouses....then, well I can't help that misconception.

AIs that another "disclaimer" AZCouture? I did as you suggested and Googled "Dependapotomus" because I hadn't heard it before. I read that in the military world it's the equivalent of the c word or the b word. Odd to read that in a thread about somebody being offended by a bold, ignorant response.

She wants a custom cake but wants Costco pricing.

I wouldn't go into any kind of explanation.  If she can't afford you, she can't afford you.

I would simply email her back:

"I'm sorry I am unable to provide you with a cake within your budget.  I was already factoring a military discount into the price and the price I quoted you is firm.  I understand if you need to go elsewhere for your cake.  I wish you (and your fiance) good luck."

I understand your frustration!  

My NEIGHBOR did this exact thing to me….LOL  I now know she is the cheapest human on the planet.  Fortunately, I don't need her business.  Actually, I didn't even make her the sheet cake, I told her I only make round cakes, which is officially true as of my last conversation with her.  She wanted a sheet cake because she thought I would charge less.  No way…and she thinks she can refer her friends to me, who are just as cheap.  So now I have told her I am all set, I don't need referrals, I have a very high-end customer base that keeps me busy. 

It is so nice that you were willing to do this for a marine.   We need to take care of our military.

My husband says good deed goes unpunished.  Might be true in many cases.  Won't keep me from doing good things, just will keep me on my feet about who the recipients are.

So I wrote her a VERY long email....go figure.  Me?  Wordy?  No surprise there if you read any of my responses to posts.  I considered deleting before sending several times but read over it many times and thought it was appropriate.  My only fear is that she DOES take offense and spouts her mouth to others saying how rude I was...

Here it is.  And, yes, I am keeping it just in case I need it again.

In my opinion, venting here on CC is fine. But a wordy response to someone who will never be your customer, is not appropriate. 

I just looked at your cakes.  Marine or not, that $2.00 a serving thing should NEVER be happening…ever.   Your cakes are really high quality.  There are many ways to thank the military so don't feel badly about the cake.

The response is long, it might help to just vent on CC and email her saying "I am unable to work within the parameters of your budget, as I must remain profitable to stay in business, but thank you for your inquiry."

A

Her response:  A little hard to muddle through but I think we came to an understanding.  I suggested Costco in addition to the other names I gave her.  And told her that is where my SIL gets her cakes if I can't do them.  Truth.

"Wow Well I never meant to offend you I know it takes a lot of time and effort but I am 20 years old and working two jobs to pay for everything I just don't have money to pay for a really nice cake I wish I did so I am sorry if you don't want to make the cake because I said your prices are a little pricey but that's probably everywhere your right. I wanted a Baker like you because it was not frozen and it took time and I know everyone has to take care of their selves and there family to. But like I said I'm only 20 trying to support my fiance and myself while he's gone and I would love a super nice cake but it's out of my budget sorry but after all your information and your venting I appreciate you trying to help until I offended you but also don't think people don't appreciate your work just because they can't afford it you didn't know I was only 20 so …………… "

I'm not sure what I feel worse about...that I told her a slight lie (not being in town after all) or that the education system has completely failed her.  At least the written English part.  These poor kids....that, coupled with the math they're learning now....oh, boy!

AYes, regretting it a touch but it's all good. We have both apologized to each other. Doesn't mean she's not going to tell her friends that I'm a mean person. And if she does, then I probably deserve it.

I so hate when I open my mouth when I know I shouldn't. Live and learn, I guess.

AI'm a teacher, and I am always trying to educate people, even in manners! LOL! Which many, many Americans need. Your response was wordy but not mean. She was rude in her response about your prices, and she should have looked at your website before contacting you, but I bet most people dont.

i think people have a general idea that your cake will cost more than Costco from just looking at it - just like I know a Maserati costs more than my Honda Fit. But we have become an entitled people, and while most can't have the Maserti, they want a fancy cake at a Wal mart price because they think they can bargain a small business person (and woman) down. So next time I buy a car, I'm going to Mercedes and saying, "I want a new Mercedes, but I'm (fill in the blank)so I can only pay 15,000." Sure, they'll sell me one at a loss. BecauseI am so special. Insert eye roll here.

Sorry to get all anthropological with you - I'm worried about how I'll handle stuff like this, and the other thread of another 20 year old who responded with something like, "LOL, ridiculous cost." It's really hard to not take these kind of responses personally.

Best, Nancy

Bees Knees - your response made me smile as I am over explainer on everything. When I mean to say one thing I end up saying another and before I know it I've written the equivalent of a small novel. My family has gotten used to it but clients not so much esp as I tend to get all muddled and have an old fashioned written form which confuses people. Telephone is my best friend in these circumstances! 

On another note, I blame the tv shows for all this as it is so hard for people to understand that it does not take 20 mins to thrash out a 3 tier cake with figurines and beautiful flower arrangements esp as most don't show the price so they don't know what people are paying for said cake, neither do they show the back round people who are busy sculpting etc so they really have no idea. 

I guess, in the end, it's just really hard to explain to someone that we all have things that we want, but just can't afford.....................

If I go to the grocery store to buy a gallon of milk and I have $4.00 in my pocket, I can only buy what I can afford--the store brand--even if I want the organic, hormone free stuff that's $6.00.   I may believe that the $6 milk is better than the $4.00 milk, but pleading to the manager about it, or complaining that the price is too high, still won't get me that more expensive milk.

The current climate is that if we want it, then we should have it--and that someone should make sure we get it, even when we don't have the money.  That someone can be parents, relatives, a stranger, or a business.  Just throw it at the wall and see who it sticks to.............

I don't get what it is about cake decorators that makes it acceptable for a potential client to come back with comments on the decorator's pricing structure.  The US is just NOT a haggling society.  Decorators don't deliberately ask for 2X what they actually need to receive and then happily acquiesce when the client generously offers to pay half the price. The price set is the price paid. 

Glad to see that you dodged the bullet!  She's missing out on a great cake by not being able to see the forest for the trees.

When I think about this, we definitely need to be firm with our pricing and not feel one iota of guilt over charging what we charge.

And I relate to the example with the milk.  Try beating down your car repair service for their prices; good luck with that one.

The thing that comes to my mind (and I know its a rude one), but ask the customer (only the rude ones) what their job is and how much they make.  Then tell them that no, they are paid way too much and their boss should cut their pay in half.  Watch the indignation soar!  So then state that they do a valuable job and so do you and both should be paid a fair amount for the work involved.

Well, I at least dream about saying that to a snarky customer.  I haven't had a customer complain about too high prices, they just usually never call back.  But then again, they aren't my customer.  Keep looking forward and let go of the guilt.

Usually when we get upset about stuff like this, it's because we either feel bad for charging so much and losing a potential customer, or we are insecure with our skills or worth as a baker/decorator. You have nothing to feel bad about. Your skills are top notch and you charge what is required, end of story.

There is absolutely no reason to ever get offended by someone who says that your pricing is too high. All you need to do is finish the sentence since they forget to add the most important part of it..."Your pricing is too high  FOR ME." She did say that she couldn't afford that, so to her yes, your pricing is "up there." For someone else it won't be. No reason to get offended. And you definitely don't need to write a long explanation that results in everyone needing to apologize to each other. We all need to just get over the feeling of being insulted when people can't afford our prices. Not everyone can afford everything.

AYes, true, but I have read examples of people being rude over it, and that can hurt, even if you know you are not overpricing and that the person is being rude. Maybe it's because it is an art, maybe it's because most decorators are women, but people do feel free to say things they wouldn't say to the mechanic or the grocery store manager. I saw it when I had a shop with local and American handmade goods. Some people were really rude when something handmade was expensive. What can you do? I wanted to snap, but I had to shut up and smile. And online, it's even worse.