Norasmom Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 1:44am
post #1 of

I am donating cupcakes to my town's public schools, which I am super happy to do.  However, I was just asked by an acquaintance to donate cupcakes to her child's preschool auction.  I don't even like this preschool, my niece was treated badly there, and my daughter went to a different preschool.  She thinks it will help me "get my name out there…"  I don't need to get my name out there, I am all set for business.   

 

I was thinking of just saying I'm sorry but I am tapped out on the donations this season, it has been quite busy.   I guess no matter how I turn her down she is going to be upset with me.  It's a small town though.  Can anyone think of polite wording to turn her down?   

25 replies
brenda549 Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 3:33am
post #2 of

Not sure if this helps.  Sounds like you already use it.  

 

My canned answer is "I really appreciate your admiration of my products!  However, I have already reached my maximum allowable donations for this fiscal/calendar year/quarter."  

 

If they get pushy, I just lather, rinse, repeat.  

Norasmom Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 3:38am
post #3 of

Thanks Brenda, that's helpful.  I will tell her my accountant (husband) has informed me of this.

morganchampagne Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 5:15am
post #4 of

AI just say im booked. I know thats not as tactful as you would like...so maybe you could throw a sorry infront of it lol :)

Norasmom Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 2:56pm
post #5 of

I wish I could say I'm booked, but it's an auction, so it would be to make the cupcakes for someone who bids on them and orders them for a later date.  I am going to wait a week or so and think about it, right now I think I'm just feeling so tired I don't want to do anything for free.  I may offer to do a dozen cupcakes with an easy theme of MY choice.

DeliciousDesserts Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 3:53pm
post #6 of

A[@]Norasmom[/@], I know you from this forum. I have come to think if you as a very kind and generous person.

I get the impression it's difficult for you to say no.

Empower yourself. No. No no no no no.

It has been my personal expierience that the only thing to come from donations is more invitations to donate.

Now, I donate to the events important to me. I do so expecting absolutely nothing in return.

It really is ok to say no. I know you can say it in a gentle way.

leah_s Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 4:47pm
post #7 of

I get so many of these (after 14 years in the biz, I no longer have to "get my name out there"  Where is "there" anyway/) frankly, I don't even answer them any more.  If that's rude, so be it.

Dayti Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 6:51pm
post #8 of

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeliciousDesserts 

It has been my personal expierience that the only thing to come from donations is more invitations to donate.

 

This! And yes, only donate to causes you feel passionately about. Do not feel sorry for yourself or this woman for saying no.

AZCouture Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 7:53pm
post #9 of

A

Original message sent by DeliciousDesserts

[@]Norasmom[/@], I know you from this forum. I have come to think if you as a very kind and generous person.

I get the impression it's difficult for you to say no.

Empower yourself. No. No no no no no.

It has been my personal expierience that the only thing to come from donations is more invitations to donate.

Now, I donate to the events important to me. I do so expecting absolutely nothing in return.

It really is ok to say no. I know you can say it in a gentle way.

Ditto! Nothing to add, just ditto!

Claire138 Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 8:02pm

Ditto to what everyone has said, it is so hard to say no so I really feel for you.

costumeczar Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 8:09pm

I would tell her "I don't feel right donating to that preschool, I had a bad experience with them in the past." She would probably feel more awkward than mad at that, and if she's normal she won't pursue it. If she's nosey she'll ask you about it and you can just say you don't want to gossip about it, but you just don't feel like donating to the school. If she really pushes it tell her you can't do it and give her the hairy eyeball.

Claire138 Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 8:18pm

^^;-D

AZCouture Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 9:16pm

AOr what Kara said. :D

Dayti Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 9:37pm

AEspecially the hairy eyeball bit, even though I don't know what it is!

Norasmom Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 10:47pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by leah_s 
 

I get so many of these (after 14 years in the biz, I no longer have to "get my name out there"  Where is "there" anyway/) frankly, I don't even answer them any more.  If that's rude, so be it.

I like that Leah!!!

Norasmom Posted 5 Feb 2014 , 10:56pm

Here's why I don't like the preschool.  My 3-year old niece went there many years ago, and was, believe it or not, bullied.  Another little girl was taking toys from her and saying hurtful things and just plain mean.  When she would get dropped off my niece would cry and bang on the window because she wanted to go home.   I didn't think it possible at that age, but something wasn't right with that bullying child.  When my sister approached the preschool's director about it, her response was "she needs to toughen up."  Obviously, my sister pulled her out of that school but there was a bit of damage done.  My niece was more shy for  a few years than I think she would have ordinarily been.  The director is still there.  My family has a few choice words to describe her, but we are not into destroying people, otherwise, we could have, as we are very well know in our town.

 

My niece is now a freshman in high school.  She remembers it.  She can laugh it off now but if you ask her how it felt at the time she will not be smiling.

cakeyouverymuch Posted 6 Feb 2014 , 1:40am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayti 

Especially the hairy eyeball bit, even though I don't know what it is!

 

The first is a good example, but I think the second will do as well and has the added benefit of working well without the facial hair..   WARNING!  Do not, under any circumstances Google hairy eyeball images.  It will, seriously, put you off your kibble for a long, loooooong time.

 

costumeczar Posted 6 Feb 2014 , 3:47am

Yes, the top cat is a good example of the hairy eyeball. It's the look your mother gave you that means  she's holding off on going off on you in public, but you're going to get it when you get home. Also known as the "stink eye."

sewsugarqueen Posted 6 Feb 2014 , 4:46am

I always knew it as "the look"  which my mom and many others gave to indicate behave and listen.  However love the cat photo... shall we all practice squinting one eye??:mischeivous:

 

Perhaps just saying you have reached your limit for donations would be the wisest.  Sometimes the less said the better especially if you are in a small town... word does get around. As one other CC said practice saying no.

good luck on how you handle it.

ellavanilla Posted 6 Feb 2014 , 4:55pm

"Thank you for the opportunity, but I'm not able to make a donation at this time. "

Norasmom Posted 6 Feb 2014 , 9:06pm

Thanks everyone for the great advice!  I have figured out what I am going to do, which is make 1 dozen cupcakes with very few decorations, which will be extremely minimal cost to me.  It just was not worth rocking the boat of my reputation and personal contacts over a conflict.  

Annabakescakes Posted 8 Feb 2014 , 10:36pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by cakeyouverymuch 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayti 

Especially the hairy eyeball bit, even though I don't know what it is!

 

The first is a good example, but I think the second will do as well and has the added benefit of working well without the facial hair..   WARNING!  Do not, under any circumstances Google hairy eyeball images.  It will, seriously, put you off your kibble for a long, loooooong time.

 


*trying so hard not to google hairy eyeball* haha! I think I can pass, since I am busy...

cakeyouverymuch Posted 8 Feb 2014 , 11:03pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 
 


*trying so hard not to google hairy eyeball* haha! I think I can pass, since I am busy...

 

 

Before I googled it myself I never realized that "hairy eyeball" is an actual medical condition.

Annabakescakes Posted 8 Feb 2014 , 11:41pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by cakeyouverymuch 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 
 


*trying so hard not to google hairy eyeball* haha! I think I can pass, since I am busy...

 

 

Before I googled it myself I never realized that "hairy eyeball" is an actual medical condition.

OMG, I looked. HORRIBLE!

cakeyouverymuch Posted 8 Feb 2014 , 11:50pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annabakescakes 
 

OMG, I looked. HORRIBLE!

 

 

I toldja not to look.

MBalaska Posted 9 Feb 2014 , 12:10am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Norasmom 

"..........Can anyone think of polite wording to turn her down?   

 

What did you decide to say and how did it go?  A dozen simple cupcakes to stay in good with her was successful compromise,  Yes??

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%