Im Burnt Out...anyone Ever Felt This Way?

Lounge By ScrumdidlyCakes Updated 2 Mar 2014 , 10:33am by saskibrand

ScrumdidlyCakes Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 4:58pm
post #1 of 13

Hello! So I need some advice/help/I don't even know!

I am a 3rd shift worker with a husband and 3 year old. They keep me pretty busy, let alone my inspirations to become baker full time. I have had my business for 5 years just doing cakes on the side mostly on weekends and through the week sometimes. I was managing my time pretty well working my 3rd shift full time job sun-thurs, having Fridays off to get most of my orders done. My company changed our schedule to mon-fri and ever since then I just cannot seem to catch my breath. Don't get me wrong, im used to pulling all nighters all the time, but this just really put a ratchet in my time management.

A month ago my father had emergency open heart surgery for an anuorism in his heart. If he wouldn't have went to doctor he would have been gone by Christmas. In between working and going to the hospital, I was trying to get a couple huge Christmas cake orders done.  Ever since then I cannot get the gumption to decorate anything. I like to bake and come up with flavors, but as for trying to get out and get cake orders, I just don't want to. Quite frankly, im enjoying my time with my husband and 3 year old and just having a couple weekends free.

I know this is AAAA LOT of peoples issues. I can usually jump back to normal, but for some reason in the back of my head im thinking Do I really want to work a full time job and a part time cake business for the rest of my life? I constantly feel like an inadequate parent since im so busy. My aspiration was to eventually quit and do cakes full time but I make good money with my full time job that ive been at for 8 years and terrified of going broke if I quit.

before all of this I constantly thought of getting a dessert truck and had plans for a room in the garage for baking/decorating. Those thoughts are tossed to the side for some reason. I don't know what the deal is!

Is this just a hurdle I need to get through?

 

sorry for rambling..

Thanks!

Jenna

12 replies
mashy Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 6:07pm
post #2 of 13

I felt like that while working my last job.  I was on 12 hour night shifts, working weekends.  I'd get off work Sunday mornings at 6 and sleep for a few hours, just to get up and attempt to spend some time with my boyfriend/friends/family before they started their Monday - Friday day jobs.  I'd get Monday and Tuesday off but never really accomplished anything, mostly because it was too hard to adjust back to "normal person" hours for those couple days.  Missed every weekend event.  My boyfriend's friends called me the ghost girlfriend.  I absolutely loved my job, but not the days off.  And they wouldn't agree to start alternating weekends, or even days/nights, because the rest of them had families and kids at home.  Total discrimination but nothing was ever done about it.  So I quit.  Took a substantial pay cut but I really didn't care - so what if I had to cut out my Starbucks and eating out, I really only ever ate out so much because I didn't have time to cook anything for myself.

I now work day shifts, alternating weekends, and love the hours.  I still miss my old job and what I did, but this change was so much better for my mental well-being ( I ended up in counselling at one point because of my old job).  My relationship is now stronger than ever, we're talking about buying a house together this spring.  I have time now for my hobbies, and I'm not exhausted all the time.  I don't know what your job market is like, but if a career change is possible, I highly recommend it.  Or even if you can squeeze some counselling sessions in your schedule somewhere, it helped me tremendously.

Good luck!

Norasmom Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 6:26pm
post #3 of 13

Time for you to take a "cake break."  Tell clients you are booked if you don't want them to think you are completely stopping, or just tell the truth and say you are having some r and r time.

  I am not taking any orders this month because I want to keep my kitchen clean for awhile and rest and my other job is taking precedence, not to mention making me more money for less effort.

If a little while you may feel ready to start up again.  It's not worth getting sick and if you work too much that is what will happen (take my word for it!)

MBalaska Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 9:00pm
post #4 of 13

This is the difficult side of the womens lib/womens rights play of the 60's.  The part that I don't ever remember one single woman talking about back then.  Burn Out.

 

We got it all ladies..........but it's often too much.  You have simply joined in the Rat Race that kills the working men.  Now we have super stress, heart attacks, high blood pressure, aches & pains, exhaustion, an:.  TA DA   **** Ultra Burn Out.

 

Just like everyone else you have to make life decisions about what gives you a good life.   And guess what - your choice may be wrong.  OOPS.  It's simply impossible to know the future.  Gotta change gears.

 

That's why you have to set your goals and adjust your course as you go.  Sometimes you have to change your goals altogether. It is the moving forward that is living.  I'd wish you good luck, but it is better to wish you to find your good thinking and reasoning, a touch of equanimity, and the ability to bend and not break at the difficult times.  Rest when you need it, and learn to laugh....often and joyfully.

mb

-K8memphis Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 9:15pm
post #5 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by MBalaska 
 

This is the difficult side of the womens lib/womens rights play of the 60's.  The part that I don't ever remember one single woman talking about back then.  Burn Out.

 

We got it all ladies..........but it's often too much.  You have simply joined in the Rat Race that kills the working men.  Now we have super stress, heart attacks, high blood pressure, aches & pains, exhaustion, an:.  TA DA   **** Ultra Burn Out.

 

Just like everyone else you have to make life decisions about what gives you a good life.   And guess what - your choice may be wrong.  OOPS.  It's simply impossible to know the future.  Gotta change gears.

 

That's why you have to set your goals and adjust your course as you go.  Sometimes you have to change your goals altogether. It is the moving forward that is living.  I'd wish you good luck, but it is better to wish you to find your good thinking and reasoning, a touch of equanimity, and the ability to bend and not break at the difficult times.  Rest when you need it, and learn to laugh....often and joyfully.

mb

 

perfect answer--well done, mb--

 

and yes laughter is probably our most important coping tool--at least on the top of the list--right before xanax and ativan-hahaha  :lol:

AnnieCahill Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 9:19pm
post #6 of 13

It's all about priorities.  Cake decorating has always been a hobby for me since I was in high school, but one time I did several that were all due on a Friday and I nearly killed myself trying to get all of them done in the evening after work.  That went on for some time until I was losing sleep and time with my friends and family.  Totally not worth it.  Now I might do 1-2 cakes a month. 

 

You have to focus on what's more important.  Time with your kids and taking care of yourself or an endless cycle of sleepless nights and cleaning powdered sugar off of everything?  For me, the answer was a no-brainer.

scrumdiddlycakes Posted 3 Jan 2014 , 9:25pm
post #7 of 13

AWorking anything self-employed, full time, and food related is like working 2+ full time jobs at a time. Most weekdays I am up around 3 am baking, icing and delivering to coffer shops til 8am, then I come home, get about half an hour with my husband and baby, then if I'm lucky baby decides to nap for a couple hours, and I can get some sleep. Then around 1:00 I start on my weekend orders. I usually wrap that up around 6:00, shower, make dinner, clean up both kitchens. I'm usually all cleaned up and ready for the next morning's baking by 8pm, and I have between 8 and 3 am to get in quality family time, household work, me time, sleep, grocery shopping, etc. then Friday nights are usually wrapped up at midnight, and Saturdays are deliveries and set up. So yeah, I get burn out, lol, and this is with a husband who is amazingly helpful.

As of Jan 6, I am done, can't wait. We very unexpectedly got a new baby 2 months ago, and there is no way that I am going to keep spending my precious hours with cakes instead of him. A job for someone else is steady hours, steady pay, and outside of your home. That means your home is yours, not a place of work.

Honestly, unless you have the luxury of not needing to work, starting a dessert related business is not something you want to do. I know you aren't asking advice, but I would put caking to the side, enjoy your family, and in a few years revisit. Taking a break is always better than burning out.

MBalaska Posted 4 Jan 2014 , 1:57am
post #8 of 13

everyone needs a vacation from their employment.

Rosie93095 Posted 14 Jan 2014 , 1:49pm
post #9 of 13

I agree with all of you. I am in the same position right now. In the past year I have had a full time  M-F day job, cakes at night and on weekends, caring for my aunt and uncle who ultimately both passed away within 5 months of each other, and never having time to enjoy my family. I have decided to take a break and not seek out cake orders for awhile. If someone calls because they saw my website or got referred by someone, I will consider it, but I will not be out "beating the pavement" to get orders for a few months. I know I will start back up refreshed and ready for the challenge in a few months.

Remember, take care of you, because nobody else can do it for you;-D

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 14 Jan 2014 , 2:30pm
post #10 of 13

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrumdiddlycakes 

A job for someone else is steady hours, steady pay, and outside of your home. That means your home is yours, not a place of work.

Honestly, unless you have the luxury of not needing to work, starting a dessert related business is not something you want to do. I know you aren't asking advice, but I would put caking to the side, enjoy your family, and in a few years revisit.
Taking a break is always better than burning out.

This. I can't really add anything, this is perfect.

MsGF Posted 14 Jan 2014 , 4:07pm
post #11 of 13

Lot's of excellent advice from everyone.  

 

I've been there too.  So now I limit my caking to 1 order per week.  I turn down orders because of this limit, but that's ok.  I must put my sanity and health first.  People who know me and want me book months in advance.  I make a conscious effort not to get in over my head. 

 

Good luck on your decisions.  You will find the right balance for yourself.  But until you do take time and spend it with your family.   Remember children grow up so fast and all they really want and need is time, not stuff.  I can hardly believe both my kids are well into their 20's.  Take a much deserved break and enjoy your family.

sewsugarqueen Posted 15 Jan 2014 , 3:24am
post #12 of 13

You are already working then doing full time work at home with baby and household and trying to keep up your favourite activity in the hopes of making it full time.  As many of us have been in that position and the others have said... you need to make a priority list of what is most important.  Can you replace the family time you miss as your baby grew up--No....Some of us put the baking /business try on the backburner until later. ( for me much much later)... do I have regrets-- for me personally no.  You might just want to bake when you want for awhile to keep up the skills.  Do you want to set a time limit..say a year before you try again?  It sounds like the shift/day change just won't work in cake making favour.

 

The other aspect is your health will suffer eventually... So take care of yourself.  By the time my daughter was 6   I was seriously ill with exhaustion from doing it all.... but had no choice as I had to support family like many of you out there.

 

Hope you will be happy with your decision.  ;-D  

saskibrand Posted 2 Mar 2014 , 10:33am
post #13 of 13

Nice post. anyways, JOBLESS? visit us @ http://www.unemployedpinoys.com

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%