cakeymom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 2:51pm
post #1 of

Ok, I did a cake for my husband's niece's birthday today.  It's in my album(Cake Slice Cake).  I starting working on it Monday by baking the layers.  Then I went on to do the other elements buttercream filling, ganache, fondant pieces, cake board, etc.

 

So long story short. I spent a number of hours on this and it is a family freebie for a niece that is very dear and near to my heart and she is turning 12 today. 

 

Now I get to the GOOD part.  My MIL tells my husband this morning that his niece wanted to take her cake to school.  I understand she wanted something for school, I get that.  But, I am sorry this IS NOT a cake that goes to school to get hacked up and enjoyed by the teachers.  NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!  If my MIL wanted her grandchild to have something at school she can handle doing that with a sheet cake in vanilla(because not all children can do or even like chocolate) as my MIL is retired and has ALL DAY today to get something over to the school.

 

BTW, if I were to charge for this cake it would be at least 175.00 if not more, as it is sitting on a 14" cake board and is 5 1/2 inches tall and 10 inches long.

 

Hope I'm not wrong, but here is someone that is clueless and does not fully appreciate nor understand what goes into making a cake like this.

 

Cakeymom

23 replies
Norasmom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:03pm
post #2 of

I remember being that age, and wanting to bring a cake to school to show off to everyone is a big deal, she wanted all the other kids to see it.  What was your intention for the cake, was she having a party at the house?

 

I am wondering if there is a bigger issue here with how you get along with your MIL.  

cakeymom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:10pm
post #3 of

We get a long fine.  But, time to time and the times are few and far between, she has made little comments.

 

But, I don't think she meant any harm.  Just that my niece wanted something for school and if I had thought about it I would have done some doctored cupcakes.

 

I think my point is that I am an aunt by marriage and did this cake on my own accord. Why did her parents or my MIL not see fit to take something over to the school today??????

 

Cakeymom

MimiFix Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:25pm
post #4 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norasmom 
 

I am wondering if there is a bigger issue here  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeymom 
 

... my point is that I am an aunt by marriage and did this cake on my own accord. Why did her parents or my MIL not see fit to take something over to the school today??????

 

Norasmom might be right about a bigger issue. I don't understand what "aunt by marriage" means. Is this a second marriage for both of you?

cakeymom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:33pm
post #5 of

This is actually my husband's niece.  His sister's child.  We both have only been married once to each other now going on 28 1/2 years.

 

I guess the old saying of, " No good deed goes unpunished" would apply here.  But, I really don't think my MIL meant anything just that she has no idea what goes into a cake like this so she thinks it's a cake to hack up at school.  Which is what I do not apprieciate.

 

I am now trying to figure out a way to get to the school to take some store bought cupcakes since her parents or MIL obviously aren't.  This is WAY beyond the call of duty.

 

Cakeymom

BrandisBaked Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:46pm
post #6 of

AIsn't the cake a gift to your niece (don't know why you need to lessen your relationship to her by indicating it's through marriage)? Shouldn't you let her decide how/where she wants to serve it? Or is your intention to upstage the birthday girl with the cake at a party by having them ooh and ah and compliment you?

Sorry, this does seem petty.

jason_kraft Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:49pm
post #7 of

A

Original message sent by cakeymom

Now I get to the GOOD part.  My MIL tells my husband this morning that his niece wanted to take her cake to school.  I understand she wanted something for school, I get that.  But, I am sorry this IS NOT a cake that goes to school to get hacked up and enjoyed by the teachers.  NO WAY!!!!!!!!!! 

I'm a little confused by your last statement...why wouldn't you want your niece to share the cake you made with her friends and teachers?

cakeymom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:52pm
post #8 of

 It is not petty.  And I have been doing cakes for all my nieces and nephews, as well as, other relatives for quite some time now regardless as to whether it is on my side or my husband's side of the family.  This particular niece I am especially fond of.

 

My main problem is that people that do not do cakes do not appriecaite what goes into it.  Plain and Simple.

 

Cakeymom

BrandisBaked Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 3:57pm
post #9 of

A

Original message sent by cakeymom

 It is not petty.  And I have been doing cakes for all my nieces and nephews, as well as, other relatives for quite some time now regardless as to whether it is on my side or my husband's side of the family.  This particular niece I am especially fond of.

My main problem is that people that do not do cakes do not appriecaite what goes into it.  Plain and Simple.

Cakeymom

The cake is going to be cut and served regardless. Still not sure what the problem is. Your niece probably wants to show it off in front of the other kids. I would have let her have the moment.

howsweet Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 4:01pm

AIi don't get the distancing from the neice stuff, but I agree, the $175 cake is for the party not the school. At school the presentation may be unceremonious and they may take 15 min, cut the cake and hurry everyone to the bus. Sounds to me like mil may be denigrating the hard work of op. Why op poster doesn't just say, sorry this is for the main party..? Why isn't mil taking something if the fancy cake doesn't go?

Sorry... Not good a posting from my phone. Hope y'all get my meanings.

AZCouture Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 4:33pm

AConfused as well.

denetteb Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 4:43pm

It may be too late but can you have a conversation with the niece or her mom and straighten this out?  It may be a miss-communication with MIL getting involved.

cakeymom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:04pm

AMy son is taking some cupcakes over to the school. So my niece will be happy as she does not know he is coming.

My whole point was if you are not involved why even have a comment??? If I where going to do something to take to the school it would not have been on such an elaborate scale. I work a full-time job and did this cake as a surprise for my niece and her family to enjoy. They are a family of 8.

If my MIL wanted her to have something she should have offered. All I was saying is that people like HER have NO appreciation as to what goes into doing a cake. This was a comment that she made to my husband. There is nothing confusing about that.

Cakeymom

MimiFix Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakeymom 
 

I am now trying to figure out a way to get to the school to take some store bought cupcakes since her parents or MIL obviously aren't.  This is WAY beyond the call of duty.

 

We probably all agree that cakes should be valued more by the general public. But when the OP writes, "This is WAY beyond the call of duty" and she's talking about a cake for her young niece, I think there's an underlying issue. Hopefully a family conversation can resolve it.

johnbailey64 Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:11pm

I understand. It was not as you intended it to be! BUT..every cloud has a silver lining.... imagine the pride on your niece's face to bring such a masterpiece to show off. Maybe a blessing in disguise, and will be great advertizement for you, :-)

cakeymom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:13pm

AYes there is in that someone that does not have a dog in the hunt had a comment. If she says something to me I will kindly and gently discuss it with her.

Cakeymom

jason_kraft Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:20pm

A

Original message sent by johnbailey64

I understand. It was not as you intended it to be! BUT..every cloud has a silver lining.... imagine the pride on your niece's face to bring such a masterpiece to show off.

Not to mention the appreciation from the teachers, who probably don't see too many kids bringing in nicely done custom cakes since it's "just" school.

Norasmom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:25pm

 It still sounds like you don't like your MIL…

JWinslow Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:40pm

What does the birthday girl want to do?  This was a gift for her, right? 

kikiandkyle Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 5:58pm

AMost schools now don't allow homemade cakes in for birthdays anyway. It's store bought, or worse, no cake allowed at all.

I understand your point of view I think - this cake was for the family, not for people who are strangers (to you). You'd rather she cuts your cake at home than one from the store, because obviously she's going to celebrate at home even though she had cake at school too. I get it.

Your MIL probably just didn't think past the moment of needing a cake for school because they hadn't thought of it earlier. And it made sense to her that your niece would want her friends to see her awesome cake, because in a lot of ways that is logical.

punkin90 Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 6:01pm

I understand what the OP is saying. She worked very hard on a cake and she is proud of it. Usually at school the kids won't pay too much attention to it. The teacher may be too stressed out to really pay any attention to it. She is probably thinking "so I have to cut and serve this cake" if someone else isn't there to do it for her. The kids  will be happy with a cupcake.  Cupcakes would be so much easier to serve. It sounds like she put a lot of hard work into this cake and would like to enjoy being with her niece at the birthday party when it is served.

embersmom Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 8:09pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by punkin90 
 

I understand what the OP is saying. She worked very hard on a cake and she is proud of it. Usually at school the kids won't pay too much attention to it. The teacher may be too stressed out to really pay any attention to it. She is probably thinking "so I have to cut and serve this cake" if someone else isn't there to do it for her. The kids  will be happy with a cupcake.  Cupcakes would be so much easier to serve. It sounds like she put a lot of hard work into this cake and would like to enjoy being with her niece at the birthday party when it is served.


That's how I'm reading it too.

Cakepro Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 8:12pm

LOL, cake advice AND free armchair psychoanalysis of your familial relationships.  

 

I do understand about you wanting the cake to be for the party and not to be taken to school.  I understand your niece's pride in wanting to show it off to her peers too.

 

In any case, I'm sorry your feelings are hurt.  :(  Know that you did a wonderful for your niece, though. :)

MBalaska Posted 1 Nov 2013 , 8:26pm

This boils down to:

  • Mothers in law … some are angels  :evil:
  • kids are kids    (cupcakes & brownies rule!)
  • the free cake issue.     (Free is a nasty four letter word sometimes.)
  • People don’t appreciate cake works.    ( Yup )
  • the straw that broke the camels back  ( without a dog in this hunt I don't know what that was)
  • A gift is a gift.  What she does with it  does not devalue your kindness and thoughtfulness. Nor does it diminish your skill and talent.  tea & sympathy is probably what you need right now.    Cheers.

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