Need Help

Lounge By Ursula40 Updated 5 Sep 2013 , 12:55am by kikiandkyle

Ursula40 Posted 2 Sep 2013 , 4:03pm
post #1 of 12

As some of you know, I live in China. Have revamped (hopefully) the website, but I cannot open it yet, don't ask, we have more than one great wall

 

Please check the navigation, spelling, grammar and the whole shebang and either write a pm or into this thread, cause once i started the new upload, my mailbox doesn't work. I am sitting here, family asleep, and am going crazy, wth?

Have asked my German friends to check the German section, so please help me with the English. I use English spelling, but grammar.......

 

I am grateful for all tips, hints and critisisms, so lay it on

11 replies
CWR41 Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 2:22am
post #2 of 12

You may get more lookers with a link provided in the thread…

http://www.shanghai-schroeder.de/

 

Here are corrections that could be made:

 

Cakes, **********, cookies and a lot more await you here

Cakes, **********, cookies, and a lot more await you here

 

With all natural ingredients, without any baking mixtures or artificial flavours and a variety of fresh products, I create cakes, ********** and cookies for all occasions and festivities.

With all natural ingredients, without any baking mixtures or artificial flavours, and a variety of fresh products, I create cakes, sugar craft, and cookies for all occasions and festivities.

 

I have been living in this fascinating city for over 10 yrs now and have been making customised cakes from the beginning.

I have been living in this fascinating city for over 10 years now, and have been making customised cakes from the beginning.

 

I truly believe, that my cakes are as healthy as cakes can be.

I truly believe that my cakes are as healthy as cakes can be.

 

All fillings are home made and I love making new designs all the time.

All fillings are homemade, and I love making new designs all the time.

 

Please take a look at a small variety of the cakes I have made in the past, but know, that

Please take a look at a small variety of the cakes I have made in the past, but know that

 

Cakes, cookies and parties can be located on the scroll down bar on your right.

Cakes, cookies, and parties are located on the scrollbar on your right.

 

If at all possible, please allow two weeks when ordering a cake or cookies, as I do book out fast and somethings just need their time.

If at all possible, please allow two weeks when ordering a cake or cookies, as I do book out fast, and some things just need their time.

 

Custom made cakes in all sizes and shapes, what better way of celebrating, than with a fun and most of all delicious cake?

Custom-made cakes in all sizes and shapes, what better way of celebrating than with a fun and, most of all, delicious cake?

 

Feel free to browse the different categories and get in touch, if zou feel, that I could help you make your party more colourful and special

Feel free to browse the different categories, and get in touch if you feel that I could help you make your party more colourful and special.

 

Cakes

Special occasion cakes

Special-occasion cakes

 

Here is a selection of carved cakes, but even though you might not see exactly what you are looking for, get in touch and let me see, whether your choice is possible.

Here is a selection of carved cakes, but even though you might not see exactly what you are looking for, get in touch and let me see whether your choice is possible.

 

Children’s cakes boys

Children’s cakes for boys

 

Custom made cakes for boys

Custom-made cakes for boys

 

Children’s cakes girls

Children’s cakes for girls

 

Here are some ideas. However you are not limited to these cakes, the nice thing about custom cakes is, that they are custom. I am fairly sure, that I can come up with an idea, which will delight your little girl

Here are some ideas, however, you are not limited to these cakes. The nice thing about custom cakes is that they are custom. I am fairly sure that I can come up with an idea which will delight your little girl.

 

Custom made cookies

Custom-made cookies

 

What can be nicer, than having customised and delicious cookies that reflect the theme of the party. What can be nicer than having customised and delicious cookies that reflect the theme of the party?

 

In a city, where most goodie bags are filled with cheap toys, some of them even totally unsafe, a delicious cookie will sweeten the end of a party and will not clutter up your house.

In a city where most goodie bags are filled with cheap toys, some of them even totally unsafe, a delicious cookie will sweeten the end of a party, and will not clutter up your house.

Or:

In a city where most goodie bags are filled with cheap toys (some of them even totally unsafe), a delicious cookie will sweeten the end of a party, and will not clutter up your house.

 

Easter, Spring and Babies

Easter, Spring, and Babies

 

Invitation cookies, Prizes, medals etc

Invitation Cookies, Prizes, Medals, etc.

 

Cards were yesterday, cookies are in

Cards were yesterday, cookies are in now

 

Why not send a cookie invitation, instead of a card, or send out cookie notices for baby announcements, there are so many ways to be more creative.

Why not send a cookie invitation instead of a card, or send out cookie notices for baby announcements? There are so many ways to be more creative.

 

For my daughter's idol party, I made CD cookies and sent them to school with my daughter.

For my daughter's idol party, I made CD cookies, and sent them to school with my daughter.

 

Thankfully I wrote all party relevant infos onto the CD covers, because about half the cookies did not make it to the parent's house, BUT the kids were happy and totally excited, before the party even began.

Thankfully, I wrote all party-relevant information on the CD covers because about half the cookies did not make it to the parent's house. But the kids were happy and totally excited before the party even began.

Or:

(But the kids were happy and totally excited before the party even began!)

 

All the kids would join in, even those, who do not like games.

All the kids would join in, even those who do not like games.

 

Another way to give presents, for example money towards a new camera, is to place the money into the bottom of the box and place an edible camera on top.

Another way to give presents; for example, money towards a new camera, is to place the money in the bottom of the box and place an edible camera on top.

 

Moving? How about a moving truck with the new destination on the side, or a for rent sign (vacancy sign)

Moving? How about a moving truck with the new destination on the side, or a “for rent” (vacancy) sign.

 

I have been throwing themed parties for my daughter, ever since she was old enough to have a party.

I have been throwing themed parties for my daughter ever since she was old enough to have a party.

 

Last year, a mother approached me for help and I planned the first party for a boy.

Last year, a mother approached me for help, so I planned the first party for a boy.

 

From the home made invitations, decorations right through to food and games, everything fit together. From the homemade invitations, decorations, right through to food and games, everything fit together.

 

Enjoy the pictures and I hope, you have as much fun looking at them, as I had in planning the parties. Enjoy the pictures, and I hope you have as much fun looking at them as I had in planning the parties.

 

A perfect girls party - Special cake decorating lesson as a party

A perfect girl’s party - Special cake decorating lesson as a party.

 

Everything home made, from the invites, money, posters and signs.

Everything home made from the invites, money, posters, and signs.

 

Food served was fingerfood and mocktails, kids had a lot of fun and also learnt something about the era. I ordered the Black Jack set and the roulette table from Taobao, but the cloths were too small, so a trip to Yuyuan was in order and I made larger ones, so that the kids had enough space to play properly. At times I myself felt like a gangster, printing money with the picture of my daughter on it. Food served was fingerfood and mocktails. Kids had a lot of fun, and also learned something about the era. I ordered the Black Jack set and the Roulette table from Taobao, but the cloths were too small, so a trip to Yuyuan was in order, and, I made larger ones, so that the kids had enough space to play properly. At times, I, myself, felt like a gangster, printing money with the picture of my daughter on it.  

 

Sit back and let your imagination take a trip back into history and enjoy the pictures

Sit back and let your imagination take a trip back into history and enjoy the pictures.

 

Who stole the Oscar, Hollywood night

Who stole the Oscar? Hollywood night.

 

Hollywood in Shanghai and it's Award night.

Hollywood in Shanghai, and it's award night.

 

The paparazzi were out in force, even a prominent German actor flew in for the occasion, BUT someone stole the Oscar, so the aspiring actresses and actors had to find out, who the culprit was first...

The paparazzi were out in force, even a prominent German actor flew in for the occasion, BUT someone stole the Oscar, so the aspiring actresses and actors had to find out who the culprit was first.

 

"Hey, 2012 is an olympic year, so why not hold the first EVER Shanghailympics?".

"Hey, 2012 is an Olympic year, so why not hold the first EVER Shanghailympics?".

 

Two days later, he came and picked up the hand-made invitations (mini olympic torches) and proudly took them to school.

Two days later, he came and picked up the handmade invitations (mini Olympic torches), and proudly took them to school.

 

javeline throwing, and many more games.

javelin throwing, and many more games.

 

There was a quiz about the Olympics during cake time and I was astounded about how much the boys already knew.

There was a quiz about the Olympics during cake time, and I was astounded about how much the boys already knew.

 

A group of young and famous scientist converged into a high security lab to conduct many fascinating experiments.

A group of young and famous scientists converged into a high-security lab to conduct many fascinating experiments.

 

A fun filled afternoon

A fun-filled afternoon

 

These young kids learnt about the difference of chemistry and physics, conducted experiments with many things they could find at home, including testing the ph values of household fluids.

These young kids learned about the difference of chemistry and physics, and conducted experiments with many things they could find at home including testing the pH values of household fluids.

 

by adding another clear and colourless liquid and many more experiments

by adding another clear and colourless liquid, and many more experiments.

 

WOW!!!! And a HUGE thankyou!!!!!!

WOW!!!! And a HUGE thank you!!!!!!

 

Your cake was not only AMAZING it was the most delicious cake ive ever had!!!!

Your cake was not only AMAZING, it was the most delicious cake I’ve ever had!!!!

 

Cant wait to find an excuse for another one!!!

Can’t wait to find an excuse for another one!!!

 

.....what do you have design wise for my husband's birthday :)

What do you have, design-wise, for my husband's birthday?

 

Im not doing anything big but wouldnt mind surprising him with another fab delicious cake!!!

I’m not doing anything big, but wouldn’t mind surprising him with another fab, delicious cake!!!

 

EVERYONE was amazed at how beautiful the cake was and we didnt want to cut it.

EVERYONE was amazed at how beautiful the cake was, and we didn’t want to cut it.

 

My daughter was just in love with it and couldn't wait to eat it!

My daughter was just in love with it, and couldn't wait to eat it!

 

We had a fabulous day thank you, and I know for sure you will have so many of our friends contacting you for their cake requests.

We had a fabulous day. Thank you, and I know for sure you will have so many of our friends contacting you for their cake requests.

 

So grateful Uschi, you made the day really super special. Thanks a million

So grateful. Uschi, you made the day really super special. Thanks a million.

 

Your creation of a pirate treasure chest with gold coins and a pirate and princess was absolutely brilliant and Henry just loved it!

Your creation of a pirate treasure chest with gold coins, and a pirate and(add a space)princess was absolutely brilliant, and Henry just loved it!

 

His party was a great success and the children were fascinated with his gorgeous cake!

His party was(add a space)a great success and the children were fascinated with his gorgeous cake! 

 

You are so talented and we really appreciate the effort you put into your cakes.

You are so talented, and we really appreciate the effort you put into your(add a space)cakes.

 

I have attached the pic for you to use on your website if you would like to.

I have attached the pic for you to use on your website(add a space)if you would like to.

 

When we brought the cake out, all the kids went crazy with the cars, everybody wanted to grab the cars, and we had a very hard time controlling the little ones to NOT grab the cake since Jerold did not blow the cake out yet...while Jerold...he was more interested in the cars then blowing his cake...

When we brought the cake out, all the kids went crazy with the cars. Everybody wanted to grab the cars, and we had a very hard time controlling the little ones to NOT grab the cake since Jerold did not blow the candles out yet. Meanwhile, Jerold was more interested in the cars than blowing his candles out.

 

Will send you some pix of the cake being under-attacked :-)

Will send you some pics of the cake being under attack.

 

so i will be sending some emails with your details!!

so I will be sending some emails with your details!!

 

Everyone enjoyed them and commented on how beautiful they were and how amazing they tasted.

Everyone enjoyed them and commented on how beautiful they were, and how amazing they tasted.

 

I hope you are able to see some future business from this effort, because your work  was fantastic!

I hope you are able to see some future business from this effort because your work(only 1 space) was fantastic!

 

if that's ok with you.

if that's okay with you.

Or,

if that's OK with you.

 

The electric plug from the guitar was genious!

The electric plug from the guitar was genius!

 

is that ok?

is that okay?

Or,

is that OK?

Ursula40 Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 2:31am
post #3 of 12

Wow thanks for your effort, will take some time for me to go through all this

 

Huggggs from Shanghai

 

Uschi

shanter Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 3:50am
post #4 of 12

"I have been living in this fascinating city for over 10 years now, and have been making customised cakes from the beginning."

 

That is actually grammatically incorrect; it is called a "comma splice" and separates the subject from one of the verbs. An alternative would be to leave the comma and add "I" before "have."

 

shanter, professional editor and writer

shanter Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 3:51pm
post #5 of 12

I need to correct myself. The construction with the comma before "and" in the sentence in my last post is incorrect. However, it is not a comma splice. A comma splice is the use of a comma to join two independent clauses.

MimiFix Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 9:20pm
post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanter 
 

 

shanter, professional editor and writer

 

We all need you! 

AZCouture Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 9:31pm
post #7 of 12

I'm just a phonics and spelling nerd, but proper punctuation and paragraph structure, and commas and the like...oh lordy, that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

shanter Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 9:36pm
post #8 of 12

My mother was an English (and French) teacher. She never let me get away with anything.

 

Thanks Mimi.

kikiandkyle Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 9:44pm
post #9 of 12

AYikes-a-rama, someone was busy this morning! Excellent work Shanter!

Ursula40 Posted 4 Sep 2013 , 11:27pm
post #10 of 12

I'm slowly working my way through, thanks a bunch

shanter Posted 5 Sep 2013 , 12:36am
post #11 of 12

Quote:

Originally Posted by kikiandkyle 

Yikes-a-rama, someone was busy this morning! Excellent work Shanter!

 

CWR41 is the one who did all of the work.

kikiandkyle Posted 5 Sep 2013 , 12:55am
post #12 of 12

AOops! Sorry CWR41! Good work!

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